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Hi there... HumbleMom here. Am Pre-Op RNY - waiting for insurance approval. Most likely will have surgery next month (2/2014.) Was born and raised in Memphis, TN and am still here. Have been a wife for almost 21 years ~ looking forward the next 21+. Mother to 3 children, one of whom passed away at 8yrs ~ more about this in future blogs. Am happy in general ~ my life is full of love and laughter, family and friends and all those little positive intangibles we tend to take for granted. My faith is intact, meaning my relationship with God has weathered the death of my son. God and I are good ~ I have MANY questions for Him, but I also have to thank Him for all He's done for me and for all He continues to do for me. For financial reasons, I dabble in cybersecurity. For fun, I read, cook (sometimes healthy, sometimes not), needlepoint and am learning to play Bridge. We have three dogs, all different sizes, all rescues, all quirky and all amazingly lovable. You can see from my profile that I'm a big girl. Like just about everyone else here, I didn't get this way overnight.My weight crept up on me over time, over pregnancies, over typical stress, over unbelievable stress and over many a wonderful meal shared with good friends. Also like just about everyone else, I'm a very well educated obese person. I KNOW Weight Watchers inside and out and have been very successful with it over the years, having lost (and regained) myself several times over. Jenny Craig and I have been good friends, albeit never for long. I've tried Nutrisystem and Medifast ~ ordered the products, received them, organized the cupboards to house them, tried them for a few days and then promptly sold the remaining items on eBay. I've walked, done couch-to-5k, done pilates, attended exactly ONE Bikram yoga class (WHAT was I thinking??? If you are a Bikram fan, my hat's off to you!), used a personal trainer, worked out in a members only gym, worked out at my office gym, walked some more and then walked even more. And like just about everyone else, each new this-will-change-my-life endeavor has proven successful (except the Bikram yoga!). I've lost weight, I've toned muscles I never knew I had and I've increased my endurance more than I ever thought possible. UNTIL… I wasn't losing or toning anymore because I'd stopped. I'd stopped because I ~ well, that's part of this puzzle. Why DID I stop? I don't know. I seriously need to find a counselor who can help me with this strange dance of mine with food, exercise and health. Know of anyone in the Memphis area? Please share! So, long story short, I'm hoping this surgery will be the missing tool from my arsenal of knowledge needed to become a healthier me. While it will be nice to look more attractive, I'm here for other reasons. I want to be able to hike and climb volcanoes with my sons. (True story ~ more later!) I want to quit the daily meds for cholesterol, blood pressure, GERD and depression. Or maybe I should say I want to trade those meds for vitamins, calcium and b12 supplements! I don't want my family to bury me because I literally ate myself to death. Much better to perish on the side of a volcano, right? I'm tired of walking into a large department store filled with beautiful clothes and being relegated to shop from the Women's sizes hidden away in the tiny corner of the basement. I mean, come on. NOTHING tastes that good! I have 'eaten' my way into that corner and I'm tired of it. Those clothes in the other 90% of the store are much, much cuter! I want to shop from THOSE racks. Actually, just knowing I have the choice to shop from those racks is enough for me. I'll probably end up at the consignment store anyway. Well, that's me in a nutshell. Obviously a fan of lists! I need to get to know others here. I need support and I want to support you! I need to know I'm not the only one who can't stand a certain type of chewable bariatric vitamin! Won't you please be my neighbor?

Yeah I am at a plateau..... I am not to upset about it but damn it! I am so close to my high school weight it not even funny! I also found out that my Wii Fit has been lying to me as well this difference is 3 pounds but when I used the quick weigh option it will acturate. I will a little disappointed at first but then I realize that this has been the lowest I have ever been in years! Okay confession time I admit I haven't been making the best food choices and lately I've been adding wine as a food group. However I've been working out either 45 to 1 hour each day. My plan of action Stop drinking wine every night and cut it down to twice a week. Change my workout routine. Review my fitness pal diary to review my eating habbits. Start planning my meals through out the week and remember Protein Protein and Protein I need to get to ball going anyway I have to train for my first 5K run in April. I am still happy with my weight loss and I know for a fact I will never weigh over 200 pounds again! This is a promise I made to myself God is good and I still love my band! Thanks for reading!

Destructive thoughts within our minds can keep us in despair... those doubts and insecurities are not worth the pain they bear. It's sad to carry baggage that causes grief and shame... and in time we come to realize we have ourselves to blame. We can choose our way of thinking and ask God to give us peace... as we pray for a healthy attitude, our negative thoughts will cease. These human hearts are fragile and sometimes we can't see... it takes some effort on our part to find worth and security. Don't let those demons haunt you and keep you in the dark... just know that God, who formed you, loves you just the way you are.