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Happy New Year! I had an amazing holiday. I can't believe how quickly I threw all my healthy eating out the window. I was on vacation for 10 days. For some reason I immediately converted back to pre-band eating. Which is also known as out of control. After I got off the plane, I immediately went through the drive thru and ordered a family pack of fried chicken strips and a side order of mac and cheese. After that I ate non stop. And I had complete mixed emotions - on one hand it felt so good, it had been a long time since I ate like that. But on the other hand I had about 6 stuck episodes in 10 days and felt guilty a lot of the time. All of my stuck episodes were because I was shoveling food in my mouth as fast as I possibly could. It tasted so good. So good. Soooooo good. Prior to going on vacation I felt I was on the right track with everything - I was measuring portions, logging my food, eating protein first, cutting out almost all sugar. And I wasn't miserable - I didn't feel like I was dieting. I didn't really miss eating crappily. (Well, except every once in a while when I watched co-workers devour huge pieces of cake ...) So why did I immediately go back to eating like a maniac? I definitely went to my vacation knowing I would indulge a little bit. But I thought it would be a little bit here and there - instead it was literally every meal with snacks in between. I know at least for one thing that I am not in the green zone yet. It's been 6 months, and I'm close, but not there. I can eat 2 enormous slices of pizza (ie - half the pizza) and still want more. That is really frustrating. Like, really frustrating. I might have higher expectations for my band than it is designed for. But is it too much to ask to want to be full/satisfied on a small portion of food?!?!? Apparently. But - I've been back for 4 days and every day has been a good day. I feel off the wagon, but I am right back on and for that, I am so grateful and proud. I was worried it would be the beginning of my demise, but instead it's just a 10 day oops. Hooray me!

Do you like my picture? I have a booty now! Happy Snowmageddon everyone! It is negative 4 degree over here in the St. Louis Metro Area and over 12 inches of snow. I so want to go outside and play in the snow but it was too damn cold! New Year Day was my 8 month bandiversary and I went shopping on last Friday to celebrate. So I went to my new favorite store “Dots” and brought me an outfit. I found me some cute pants but they didn’t have a size 14 but something told me to try on the 11/12. At first I hesitated because I was tempted to go over to the plus size section and find me a size 14. But I then I heard my best friend Lesley voice saying “hoe you better not go over there!” in my head. I finally tried on the pants and I was stocked when they fit! I even did the squat test in them and passed, but they were a little bit tight around my stomach. I took two pictures one showing my stomach and the one shown above. I sent them to Lesley and she told me I look fine in them. I just like to say that I am still stock that I have a booty now! LOL my ego gotten a little big especially after the 46 likes I got on my Facebook page! Anyway I called in work today and I have my two other friends over here. We had an official sleepover last night over here. I think I am going to convince them to do Walk away the pounds 3 mile walk. With or without them I am going to. Don’t worry about me I am good in the Midwest I have wine and protein mix to last me! LOL God is good! Thanks for reading.

A hearty hello to all our fat fanatics worldwide! As another year comes to an end, I thought this would be an opportune time to do a little self reflecting. After all, it has been an interesting year for me to say the least. But first, I realize I have been derelict in getting you timely updates on my current status. Quite frankly, I was reluctant to keep posting because I was afraid of what the holidays and my short vacation were going to do to me. Well, I have good news to report. I am down about 2 pounds from the day before Thanksgiving through New Year's Eve! I wanted to be 185 on Thanksgiving. That didn't quite work out. But I was 186.5 today. WHEW! I am really pleased with this number. Why? Because I did an above normal amount of dinning out, family parties, traveling and, of course, the social drinking that comes along with it. I was very conscious of my food intake. When I dined out, I tried to order the right things, always protein. Save the sauces. At Thanksgiving, I loaded up on turkey and ham and passed on potatoes and gravies. On Christmas eve, I feasted on lobster, shrimp an calamari in red sauce. I only had a small mouthful of homemade lasagna to be polite. I also watched my drinking. You know I had to imbibe, so I drank my bourbon straight and my vodka on the rocks. I had a few excellent Cabernets. I even had two frosty beers. My first since March. All in all, I made it through the yearly bacchanal virtually unscathed. I consider this VICTORY. But I can only savor this achievement for a fleeting moment. Year in review - PHEW! 2013 has been a whirlwind to say the least. 1) My first appointment with Dr. X on a blustery January Monday 2) My first lap band support group meeting 3) My first ever visit to a shrink 4) My conversations with Rajeeve 5) My 14 day pre-op diet 6) My surgery 7) My first unauthorized cocktail The list goes on. Suffice to say, last year was a life changer for me. I sit before you today 68 pounds lighter than then the guy that wrote to you in April. That's whole lotta fatass folks. 2014 Resolutions - I have big news for you on this front. I saw Dr. X for my monthly tune up right before Christmas. After he gave me another 1/2 c.c injection, I offhandedly remarked that I wanted to lose about another 20 pounds to get me under my goal of 169. He immediately whipped a calculator out of his staff coat and started doing some ciphering. By way of some secret bariatric calculation, he tells my he wants be to be at 150 pounds! I was FLOORED. ME: "150 pounds? Are you serious? I mean I haven't weighed 150 pounds since 6th grade!" Dr. X: " I'm working from a BMI index. A 28.5 BMI is healthy, but a 25 BMI is golden! That puts you at 150 pounds." ME: "Is that 150 pounds here on the fat ass scale or 150 pounds in the morning naked on my home scale?" Dr. X: "I'll take the 150 on your scale." So I got that going for me. Then he asks me, "When did you have your surgery?" "May 15" I told him. "You haven't even been doing this a year! This is a TWO year project.' You could have knocked me over with a wet noodle. This whole time I was working on a ONE year time table. I was hoping to get to my goal in April. But our dear doctor just tagged on another 19 pounds of weight loss! At 2 pounds per month, that's about a year more. So I guess his math is correct. "You are doing great. You can do this and I will help you get there." he told me. Comforting words did little to ease my shock. But then I started thinking. What's changed? Really nothing. I have learned a new way of eating. I am watching my portions and I'm cutting as many empty calories as possible. So I have to keep counting my calories for another year. So what. I can do it. Can I really get to 150 pounds? Do I really want to be 150 pounds? I really don't know. I do know I have a ways to go to get rid of some excess ass and gut fat. I also know I don't want to be the weakling that gets sand kicked in his face at the beach. So when it comes to my new goal. I guess I'll know it when I feel it. I'll try and be more prompt with the next update. Until then ... Remember YOU CAN'T BE TOO RICH OR TOO THIN!

Today I look at my life and I am thankful. I am thankful for my loving family. I am thankful for a good job and a steady income. I am thankful for my Lapband and for getting my life back. I look at who I was 18 months ago, 250 pounds of misery. I didn’t care about myself or how I looked. I would wear potato sack clothes, I never wore make-up or jewelry, I looked like a tired old lady and I didn’t care. I couldn’t exercise, just walking up the 4 steps into my house would put me out of breath. I really hated myself! Thankfully I did something about it. I got the Lapband and lost 80 pounds. I went from size 22 to size 10 and have never felt better. I take pride in the clothes I wear (no more potato sacks for me ~ I hate baggy clothes now, lol), I love to wear jewelry and make-up. I want to look good, my smile is from ear to ear. Life is so enjoyable now. So many things have opened up to me since my band. My husband and I have doubled the amount of land we use for gardening because I can physically help manage it. We increased our flock of chickens to 30 birds because I can physically help manage them. I find myself always on the go, moving doing this & that because I can physically do it. I even got my concealed handgun license (Never shot a gun before 6 months ago). All this because I decided to change. Yes, I changed everything….. No more fast food, soda, junk food, midnight bowls of cereal, or gallons of ice cream and no more sitting on my ass watching TV all day. Do I miss these things? Sometimes. But if I have cravings I have a small portion of whatever I’m craving. Day to day I don’t miss a thing. Life is too precious to waste it away on pizza and greasy burgers or cake and candy. I am thankful for my rebirth on February 6, 2012 and I promise to live a health happy life. I deserve nothing less.