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Happy New Year! I had an amazing holiday. I can't believe how quickly I threw all my healthy eating out the window. I was on vacation for 10 days. For some reason I immediately converted back to pre-band eating. Which is also known as out of control. After I got off the plane, I immediately went through the drive thru and ordered a family pack of fried chicken strips and a side order of mac and cheese. After that I ate non stop. And I had complete mixed emotions - on one hand it felt so good, it had been a long time since I ate like that. But on the other hand I had about 6 stuck episodes in 10 days and felt guilty a lot of the time. All of my stuck episodes were because I was shoveling food in my mouth as fast as I possibly could. It tasted so good. So good. Soooooo good. Prior to going on vacation I felt I was on the right track with everything - I was measuring portions, logging my food, eating protein first, cutting out almost all sugar. And I wasn't miserable - I didn't feel like I was dieting. I didn't really miss eating crappily. (Well, except every once in a while when I watched co-workers devour huge pieces of cake ...) So why did I immediately go back to eating like a maniac? I definitely went to my vacation knowing I would indulge a little bit. But I thought it would be a little bit here and there - instead it was literally every meal with snacks in between. I know at least for one thing that I am not in the green zone yet. It's been 6 months, and I'm close, but not there. I can eat 2 enormous slices of pizza (ie - half the pizza) and still want more. That is really frustrating. Like, really frustrating. I might have higher expectations for my band than it is designed for. But is it too much to ask to want to be full/satisfied on a small portion of food?!?!? Apparently. But - I've been back for 4 days and every day has been a good day. I feel off the wagon, but I am right back on and for that, I am so grateful and proud. I was worried it would be the beginning of my demise, but instead it's just a 10 day oops. Hooray me!

What great news! Congrats!

Today I look at my life and I am thankful. I am thankful for my loving family. I am thankful for a good job and a steady income. I am thankful for my Lapband and for getting my life back. I look at who I was 18 months ago, 250 pounds of misery. I didn’t care about myself or how I looked. I would wear potato sack clothes, I never wore make-up or jewelry, I looked like a tired old lady and I didn’t care. I couldn’t exercise, just walking up the 4 steps into my house would put me out of breath. I really hated myself! Thankfully I did something about it. I got the Lapband and lost 80 pounds. I went from size 22 to size 10 and have never felt better. I take pride in the clothes I wear (no more potato sacks for me ~ I hate baggy clothes now, lol), I love to wear jewelry and make-up. I want to look good, my smile is from ear to ear. Life is so enjoyable now. So many things have opened up to me since my band. My husband and I have doubled the amount of land we use for gardening because I can physically help manage it. We increased our flock of chickens to 30 birds because I can physically help manage them. I find myself always on the go, moving doing this & that because I can physically do it. I even got my concealed handgun license (Never shot a gun before 6 months ago). All this because I decided to change. Yes, I changed everything….. No more fast food, soda, junk food, midnight bowls of cereal, or gallons of ice cream and no more sitting on my ass watching TV all day. Do I miss these things? Sometimes. But if I have cravings I have a small portion of whatever I’m craving. Day to day I don’t miss a thing. Life is too precious to waste it away on pizza and greasy burgers or cake and candy. I am thankful for my rebirth on February 6, 2012 and I promise to live a health happy life. I deserve nothing less.