I know I just wrote a long blog yesterday, but last night something frightening happened to my 18 year old daughter who is in college. She was leaving her dorm to go get dinner at the adjacent dorm, when she was attached by two men. They pushed her to the ground, held her down with a foot in her chest and proceeded to choke her. They were yelling at her that they wanted her money. Well, as with most college students she didn't have any cash. She told them to take her debit cards out of her wallet which was on a lanyard around her neck. Once they got the cards they quickly ran away.
Brittany is the kindest person. She's gone through her life dealing with bullies and struggled with fitting into her niche'. She's about to finish her first semester at school and has straight A's. As a Mom I couldn't be prouder. You all can imagine my horror when she called me inconsolably crying telling me she had been jumped on her way to dinner. She was so freaked out she ran directly to her dorm room and locked herself inside, then called me. I called campus security (who rushed right over) and shortly after sent out a mass email warning the rest of the campus about the assault and robbery that had taken place by her dorm. They also doubled up campus patrols as well as the City Police patrolling extra. SIGH! I haven't slept today or should I say last night. As a parent all you ever want to do is love and protect your children, no matter how old they get. She struggles with severe anxiety and this semester has been a stretch for her, but she's in the home stretch. She just had to make it through this week and was looking forward to Thanksgiving break. Now, all she could talk to me about was how she could feel the guys dry, itchy skinned hand around her neck pushing harder into her throat and she didn't think she would ever be able to get that image out of her mind. I'm so THANKFUL that they didn't rape or kill her, but I still ask the question, Why? Why do people feel the need to steal from others? Her father wants to hunt the two guys down and kill them for touching his daughter. I'm sure if we knew we could find them we would have been on that campus. I'm just praying they weren't students that she might possibly run into again. The exit she took out of her dorm is officially off limits and she's not to walk anywhere alone after dark. I only wish it would have happened to me and not her.
As you can imagine, with all this drama going on old habits began to form in my mind. I wanted comfort food... carbs and some sweets, maybe a soda. She didn't want to miss her classes and kept telling me she just had to finish up this week. She began to sense I was falling apart and was showing me how strong she could be. I didn't give in to my cravings. As a matter of fact, I didn't eat dinner at all last night. I drank a couple bottles of water and talked on the phone with Brittany while we watched one of her favorite MTV shows, Teen Mom 3. She took some anti-anxiety meds and I could tell she was beginning to get sleepy so I reluctantly let her go and told her to call me if she needed me for anything. My phone never rang and I know for sure because I never slept.
To top things off my oldest daughter, who is expecting, showed up at my door around 10:30. Rae had a fight with her hubby and laid her head in my lap and cried wishing she was a teenager again. Missing the memories we had created as a family for her and making me feel like a super mom. Thinking about it now I'm wondering if she showed up on a ruse to give me comfort and to make me feel better. Hmmmm. I love my children. They are a gift from God. Even though I didn't get to hold Brittany and comfort her, Rae's head in my lap while letting me give her advice on her relationship and what to expect in the coming months of her pregnancy was cathartic. Writing this blog has made me realize how BLESSED I am. Even though today was not a good day. Everybody, though worse for the wear; is doing okay and most importantly we all still love each other very much.
I made it through a very stressful evening without binging on bad foods. I should have eaten dinner, but I'll take the absence of food versus the bad, high calorie type any day! I just pray for protection for my family and friends. Here's to learning life lessons, even if sometimes it has to be the hard way.
I sure love my kids!
Rachel (20) Brittany (18) Michael (13)
Thanks for reading my vent!
Till Next Time,
Tara