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I began researching WLS about 5 years ago. At that time I weighed about 250 lbs. My insurance at the time would not cover the procedure. My doctor actually told me if I gained 50 more lbs I would be more likely to be approved. At the time I was like WTF. Who says that?! But guess what? Over the next 5 years I gained 50 lbs. I ,had several Dr apppointmens for different health issues, bulging discs, sciatica, Hipertension, Carpal Tunnel, Insomnia, I just seemed to hurt everywhere. It made me feel depressed and have anxiety. I didn't want to go out and do things like I used to b/c I had gained so much wieght. I was always the happy person who loved to go out and do stuff. But... In April, I took my regular medicine before bed and went to sleep. I had been given a higher pain medication that I hadn't been on for awhile because my sciatica was really bad. I could hardly walk. Well, guess what. I had an allergic reaction and suddenly became allergic to ambien which I had been taking for over 5 years. My son found me unresponsive. Needless to say, I spent 3 weeks in the hospital most in ICU b/c I went into kidney failure. I had to be on dialysis for about 7 weeks and it made me deathly ill. I couldn't eat, but I had so much fluid on me b/c I wasn't able to get rid of the fluids on my own. It was the most horrible thing that has happened to me. My family was told several times that they didn't think I was going to make it. I was on a respirator and had pneumonia. SOOOO, after I recovered I didn't mess around anymore I got on all the information that I needed in order to have my surgery approved and did it. I WANT, I NEED to change my life. I'm still young and have so much more to do. I dont want to give up. I want to live life to its fullest and I need to get this weight off so I can PARTY LIKE A ROCKSTAR. Just kidding, well kinda. I am looking forward to having my daughters and son happy and with families of their own one day. I'm banded and on my way to letting myself be the person whose been hiding inside me, begging to come back out! Watch out World!!

I've found that in the 4 weeks since I've had my surgery I am obsessing about how much weight I'm losing. I'm losing a decent amount, but I want to make this work so badly I've forgotten about patience. Patience hasn't always been a virtue of mine, but I'm thinking this is something I'm going to have to work on. I didn't get fat overnight. It happened over years and I'm expecting to lose so much in months. Don't ge me wrong, I still think its important for me to have goals. I just need to be realistic. This is not a sprint to the finish line its a life changing marathon, with hills, valleys, and bumps. I'm really appreciating the people on here who are so open and caring to give me good advice and help keep my mind straight and help me realize what's happening with my mind and body is normal. Today, I am going to stop worrying. I will follow my Doctor's instructions and walk through my journey, so hopefully one day soon I will be able to help others.

Work is so busy, head is spinning. Emotions all over today. Tired of whiney ass coworkers. Tired of my pain in the ass girlfriend (yes yet another weekend of how I look like a sick person and need to gain weight). I flat out told her to go find someone with more meat on their bones. Dad, gotta love him, but dear lord he is needy. Has called 10 times today needing something. I love helping my dad, but I can barely breathe at work today. Told my boss I wanted a $2 raise. He giggled and I looked him square in the eye and said "I'm not joking I want $2". He didn't know what to say. Kids are ok. my middle kid has some attitude lately that is driving me nuts. I know he has middle kid syndrome, but dear god. He can be so whiney. And my daughter has me on edge. Found a text on her cell that said something about needing to be at the park at 2AM. I was livid. Called her on it, said she was just kidding with her friend. Needless to say, I now make sure there's now way for her to sneak out. I put objects by the door so they will fall if she opens it. I put tape across the top so I know if the door has been opened. I removed all hallway lights. I know keep my bedroom door open. Hmm must thought of something, I may lean something up against her door so I can hear it instantly. Granted, I don't think she would sneak out. I've reminded her of the 2 new stories lately about girls in our city being abducted and used for sex slavery. But as a mother, you worry nonetheless. Wow, i'm negative today but not meaning to be. Just really not feeling life today. Just want to get away for a few days, ALONE. not possible, but a nice thought

Hi there. Here's to Not Worrying -- just knowing that it is all happening. It's all happening. You are in the long game, the one that matters over time -- not the day to day or even month to month but what about one year ago and one year from now. What do those look like?

Very nice to hear you're alive and banded! I just read both of your blogs. Being banded made my health take a complete turn around for the better. I am off all my pre-band meds!