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Showing content with the highest reputation on 09/24/2013 in Blog Entries

  1. 4 points
    Johnny99

    The Right Side of 2

    Greetings and salutations my friends and fat followers! I am contacting you today from the other side. No, I am not dead and this is not a creepy seance. I'm talking about the other side of 200 pounds. That's right baby. I finally cracked the elusive 200 number. Mark the date and time fat fans, for this is the first time since the mid 80's that I have had a 1 in front of my weight. This is BIG news indeed. I finally feel like I am accomplishing something. You may ask "What The H, Johnny. You've lost 56 pounds and you don't fell like you accomplished anything? You've lost half of a person, why the lack of satisfaction?" Here's why. When you're a scale bustin fatass as I was in April, losing a few pounds here or there is no big deal. My weight used to fluctuate five pounds on any given week depending on how many buffets I hit. Lose 10 pounds. So what. Lose 20 pounds. I'll hardly notice. 30 pounds. That's something, but I was still in the "Biggun" category. Forty pounds ... 50 pounds, great. But what really makes me feel like I'm winning is that 1. Normal people have a 1 in front of their weight. That's the answer. I am approaching NORMAL. Soon to be average. Now THAT means something! As I previously alluded, I have not had that 1 in front of my weight since the mid 80's. The exact date I busted the deuce mark is not clear to me. Matter of fact, the whole decade is not too clear to me. I was awash in self indulgence. My never ending search for a good time is what got me started on this path to bodily destruction. But that's another story for a different time. So let's use these dates. I remember going on some type of diet and getting down to around 165 pounds. I had a picture taken at this time leaning on a new Delorean. That makes it 1982. Obviously that diet didn't take. It took me a few years to work up the weight ladder. I'm pretty sure it was a chicken wing at a Super Bowl 19 party that pushed me over. That would make it 1985. 1985 - It was a very good year. (I think.) Reagan was still president. Gas was $1.09 a gallon and it only cost $3 to see a movie. Michael Jordon was just a pup and the Bears were stocked with now legendary names like, Fridge, Hamp, Mongo, Mama's Boy and the Punky QB. Things were bouncing back from the dog days of Jimmy Carter and 22% interest rates. There was reason to celebrate. And celebrate I did. Nightly. And usually to excess. I was living the single life. Fast money, fast cars and fast women. Unfortunately, fast food was a daily staple. My bodily empire was beginning to fall and I didn't heed the warnings. The 2 came a lot easier on the way up then the 1 did on the way down. Let's leave the maudlin memories behind. It's a new day, a new age and a new Johnny. I have lost about 56 pounds since April 9. My weekly weight loss is still averaging about 1.5 pounds per week. I know it's going to get slower as my under metabolized body adjusts to my lower calorie intake. But if I could average 1.25 pounds per week, I will hit hit my goal by March. I planned on this taking one full year. I am on schedule. But just think. What if I kept that Delorean? Maybe I could have got up to 88 miles per hour and zapped my way back to 1982. If only I knew then what I know now. So Long for now. We'll talk soon. Johnny T.
  2. 4 points
    MWilliams42

    Thoughts for Today

    So I woke up this morning, SUPER glad that yesterday is DONE! I was looking at the calendar and I saw the date, I then began to think. As of this past Sunday I am 2 months out, 8 weeks people, from my surgery date and I have lost almost 30 pounds! Amazing, right? Well...yes it is, but then I thought, "Woman, you need to zip your lips the next time you think of complaining the scale isn't moving!". RIGHT?!!! In those very thoughts I thought of how amazing it is to even be able to vocalize that I have LOST, not gained, almost 30 pounds!!! It seems like a lifetime ago that I was able to say I even lost 5 pounds, or even 10! Now look at that number!!! I then thought that I have no right to gripe when the scale doesn't move as fast as I think it should, or say what I have been waiting for it to say. Our minds, well my mind anyway, can be a dangerous place and that is why I HAVE to talk positively to myself every minute of the day! Who thought I would ever be able to say in 8 weeks I have LOST almost 30 pounds!!! I guess it's in the moments of reflection that you begin to realize that at times we can become so complacent, so ungrateful for even the smallest victories. I cannot speak for everyone, just for me, and I am a very thankful person, and when I realized that I was getting to the point of not being satisfied with my victories, that is a sad day for me. I read someone else's blog this morning on almost the same exact topic and it just made me think. I'm working on my mind, daily, and this is such a touchy subject with me. But I have to wake up everyday and KNOW that I am not yet where I want to be but I am so much better than the day before. In the person's blog that I read she recounted the obstacles she has overcome, and how she, too, is frustrated with that stupid scale as she is so close to her goal and it is just taunting her. When will we, I, be completely satisfied??? When did I overlook where I came from and open my eyes to now see the real reflection of ME? I'm almost completely off my insulin and I am completely off my oral meds for diabetes, that is a HUGE Victory and if nothing else changes, I am so thankful for that. I've worked hard in my life to really like who I see in my reflection, and at times I haven't even wanted to look. My husband tells me how good I look, I shake my head no, he tells me I'm beautiful and I struggle to say thank you...but I'm getting better. I can like who I see in the mirror, why? Because she has a beautiful heart, she is a strong woman and because she has come through so much in her life, and to get to this wonderful place, I just couldn't be more thankful. I don't want to take one since solitary moment for granted, and seem like I'm ungrateful. I'm blessed beyond measure to be able to have come this far. Have a GREAT day!!!
  3. 3 points
    BlueMoon~T

    Worrying too much

    I've found that in the 4 weeks since I've had my surgery I am obsessing about how much weight I'm losing. I'm losing a decent amount, but I want to make this work so badly I've forgotten about patience. Patience hasn't always been a virtue of mine, but I'm thinking this is something I'm going to have to work on. I didn't get fat overnight. It happened over years and I'm expecting to lose so much in months. Don't ge me wrong, I still think its important for me to have goals. I just need to be realistic. This is not a sprint to the finish line its a life changing marathon, with hills, valleys, and bumps. I'm really appreciating the people on here who are so open and caring to give me good advice and help keep my mind straight and help me realize what's happening with my mind and body is normal. Today, I am going to stop worrying. I will follow my Doctor's instructions and walk through my journey, so hopefully one day soon I will be able to help others.
  4. 3 points
    intelirish

    Strong words

    so i read the following words today on Facebook no less.. but they made me stop and pause.... A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they'd be asked the "half empty or half full" question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: "How heavy is this glass of water?" Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz. She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn't change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." She continued, "The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything." Remember to put the glass down. They are certainly words that should make you pause and think.. what is it that i carry with me each and every day .. Yes i should look to the future but today it's here and now and if i can just learn to live in the moment knowing i'm doing the best i can shouldn't that take care of everything? Knowing that each food choice is as healthy as it can be in that moment of choice that we should just accept each choice for what it is and move on to the next not dwelling on why did i's? I've spent so much time on the why did i's that it became natural for me to start on the well why not one more can't hurt... for me it's time to put the Glass down.. accept that on occasion it is ok to feed the wild side.. but to also accept the fact i need to feed the smarter healthier side a little more often..
  5. 3 points
    Well, it is my Band Anniversary and things have changed. #1 I left my husband, a cruel and abusive man. I grew a spine and walked out the door with nothing. He told me I had changed. He was angry that I lost weight. He lost his control over me. It is now a very bitter divorce, but I am free. #2 I am dating again. It has been a year and I love my freedom. I have grown so much. I love myself for the first time in my life. I have excess skin, you don't like it, tough!!! My tummy hangs, you don't like it tough!!! My arms are big, TOUGH!!! #3 I live with my Daughter. I am 57 years old and I live with my Daughter. I have nothing. But I am no longer isolated and alone. I would rather be broke than abused. My life has changed, but I am enjoying life for the first time in a very long time. I love this stage. YES there are men out there who enjoy a more mature figure. Yes there are men out there that will take advantage of you. You just have to be cautious and never go back to the type of man in #1 My weight is stable. I am not thin, but I am happy. So, did I change, DAMN RIGHT I DID. Did I leave a cruel and abusive marriage, damn right I did. I started living for me. I don't care if I never have a possession again. I have my dignity. No one should live their life in fear as a door mat. Take a stand, protect yourself. TELL SOMEONE, you are not alone
  6. 1 point
    D Jordan

    Getting closer...

    Call from doctors office saying all files on me has now been placed on surgeons desk. Now I just wait for a phone call giving me a surgery date. Also told me when the call comes in, I have to do a three week liquid diet before surgery. Don't think I'm going to enjoy that very much. Oh well, got to do what I have to do...
  7. 1 point
    ​Why is it that as humans we never seem to be satisfied, or we're always so hard on ourselves? I'm 10 months out from my sleeve, and down 110 pounds from my highest weight 16 months ago. For the past couple of months I have been losing, and regaining the same few pounds! I go between 172 & 175 pounds, and can't seen to drop below the 172 pounds! I'm only 16 pounds from my goal weight that the doctor gave me, and it seems as though I'll never get there! I'm obsessed with the numbers on that darn scale! Lord help me, I get on it everyday, and hold my breath, and hope it will finally drop below the 172 pounds! When I see it hasn't changed, I get very upset with myself, and always feel disappointed with myself. Why don't I remember WHERE I came from, and give myself a "pat on the back" for how FAR I have come? 110 pounds is nothing to sneeze at! Why as humans do we never feel satisfied with our accomplishments, why don't we think of all the positive changes in our life, and "beat ourselves up" over where we THINK we should be? Like the fact that I can now ride my bike over 20 miles in about 2 hours, and used to get winded just riding down to the corner! Like I can walk our dogs 4-5 miles in a little over an hour, and still feel great afterwards, and before I got tired and winded just walking down to the corner! I used to take blood pressure meds 2X's a day, depression meds, acid reflux meds, cranberry pills for frequent urinary tract infections, and my kidney function wasn't good. Now I don't take any of those meds, and all my levels are great! I use to wear a size 26W, and it was getting tight, and now I wear a regular size women's 14. So why am I so hard on myself, and dwell on the weight I still want to lose, and not on how great I have done so far? I'm going to a wedding this Saturday, and I got a pretty plum colored evening gown, size 14 to wear to it. It looks so pretty on me, and I actually feel GOOD in it, and am looking forward to going! I use to DREAD going to any social, or family function, because I was so self conscience about my size! I never thought I looked GOOD in anything I wore, and always felt so fat and unattractive. I guess I'm blogging this for 2 reasons, one I hadn't blogged in a few months, so thought it was time, and two, so I can read what I'm writing and remind myself just how far I have come! Attached is a picture of me in my new dress I'm going to wear to the wedding this Saturday. I put it on and had my hubby take a picture of me in it so I could share it with you.
  8. 1 point
    Roo101769

    I'M SO EXCITED!....

    ...and I just can't hide it! Just spoke with my surgeon's office. All of my paperwork and clearances have been received and she will be submitting it all to my insurance TOMORROW for approval!! The girl who does it is actually pretty cool and we have chatted a few times, so I don't think she is blowing smoke up my butt. She knows I am very excited so I hope she does follow through...Now I pray ( and yes- stress) for a quick approval. My fear and nerves may start to take over, so I just need to stay focused and positive. If I am this excited about this, imagine how I will be when I get approval!!!! I probably better bring a spare pair of pants with me to work for a while, I may need them!!! LMAO The timing could not be any better. I have been seriously struggling lately. I lost some of my momentum. Like everyone who struggles with weight I have been plagued with doubts and self sabotage. My will power has been turning to "won't" power. I have lost 20lbs since 8/1 and I am very happy and proud about that. But, without the surgery, I don't see much more coming off. I need the restriction. I need that extra "umphf" to get me past my head. I need the surgery. I am just so very, very happy my journey is moving in the right direction!!!
  9. 1 point
    Inspiredsmile

    One week post Op

    One Week ago today I had my sleeve surgery. This past week has been not what I was prepared for or expected. I have felt practically "normal", with no bad effects at all. I was prepared to be laying on the sofa wrapped in quilts and being waited on by my hubby. But reality was from the day I came home. I never needed a nap, never needed waited on and never had a moment of nausea. Thank you God! I weighed myself and one week out I am down 8 pounds for a total of 62 pounds lost! Hope it continues.
  10. 1 point
    Hard to believe that it has only been 72 hours ago that I had my surgery. I feel remarkably good, almost normal. I walked the dogs with my husband this morning and it felt good to be out and moving. The scale went back down to what it was the morning of my surgery. When I came home from the hospital I weighed 219 up three pounds. I am guessing it was from all the fluids that they pump into you. I was glad to see it go back down to 216. I have been doing well with getting my proteins in. I went into the office this morning to do a couple deposits while no one was around. I still haven't driven anywhere, but I am not taking any pain meds so I suppose I could drive if I wanted to. My husband usually drives me around anyway. For all those September sleevers that haven't gone yet, I wish you the best and pray that you have a good post op too.

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