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Well, I haven't been here in a while! I have missed reading everyone's progress and frustrations, and just everything! I feel like I let myself down last week, I was in major pain with my back, didn't exercise, didn't take my vitamins like I should have, didn't eat as much as I should have, UGH...I just didn't! I had to break down and see the chiropractor, by OMG, did it feel WONDERFUL!!! My lower back has been in so much pain. I've been walking like a little old lady once I get up from a sitting position! Not very attractive. My chiro did tell me something that I just didn't think of that I thought would be great to share...She said, "you've just lost 25 pounds...that's a significant amount and you are losing inches, your body now has to readjust and will continue to do so as long as you are losing weight. She said it works the same if you are gaining weight." She let me know that the body has to adjust so that it helps you carry the new weight properly. DUH!!! I never even thought of that! She also let me know that while I am losing my body will continue to shift and I may need adjustments throughout this new journey I am taking! Not feeling well really stinks...it just makes you not want to do anything...it's like My get up and GO, just got up and WENT!!! No warning, nothing, just gone! I know we all have off days or weeks, but please, I'm 2 pounds away from being under 200(FINALLY) and I will exercise this week, I will get back into my routine, and I will get under 200 by the end of next week(helps me to speak positive things to me!!!) I have to push myself, and it has been hard with this back of mine. So onward and upward here I gooooooooooooooo!!!!! I just think that this is the best journey of my life...and I'm so very blessed to be able to be on it! Thankful the scale is going down and not up anymore, thankful that I'm just not looking at food the same, thankful that my diabetes is slowly but surely subsiding! All these things I'm thankful for! I'm also thankful for everyone on here, reading your ups and downs, highs and lows, successes and failures, trials and errors, and just the everyday thoughts of this walk we are on...helps me make it through this very day! So...Trust in yourself...believe in who you are...YOU are a wonderful person. AND Don't "allow" anyone else to convince you differently! - My Hubs told me that! Gotta love that man!!!

If I compared myself to anyone else I would not be happy. Be happy with your results even if they are slow. Keep it going.

Well, I have finally landed on something that seems to have gotten my weight loss going. I have not lost any significant weight since the surgery a year ago. I just toy with the same 2 or 3 pounds. I am now down 5.5 pounds in a little over a week. I have just started focusing on eating meats and vegetables and fruit every once in a while. It is basically just a low carb approach. I refuse to call this a diet as I seem to have an all or nothing attitude. If I fall off the wagon, I have trouble getting back on when I am dieting. So, I am just staying away from the bread and sugar. It is truly working. I am afraid to say this out loud, but I think I may have figured this thing out. The band is certainly allowing me to eat smaller portions. I feel like I have a very good friend in my camp. I am still working on eating until satisfaction rather than until I am uncomfortably full. I get full quickly and still want to eat. I seem to be knocking one obstacle at a time out of the way. It started with not being able to eat much so I started eating things that would go down easily, like crackers and sweets. Think I have that conquered now, thanks to low carb approach. Now, I need to get to the point that I can stop at satisfaction rather than eating til too full. Such a head game! So, here I am a year later and finally starting to lose weight. Yikes!

So I did it. I am minus about 5 lbs of ... HAIR!! I could feel the weight coming off.. I was slightly freaked out, but knew it was something I've always wanted to do. My G/F was not too happy. But she'll get over it. It usually takes me 2-3 days to 'own' my new hairstyles. So by monday, I'll be rocking my do like nobody's business Im proud of myself for taking this leap. It may not seem like much to others, but is a world to me. It's like wearing that sexy dress for the frist time, or being able to wear knee high boots because you can get them over your calf. Or in my case, it feels like being naked in a crowd for the first time. I feel so...exposed. But not necessarily in a bad way. It's forcing me to hold my head up and to strut my stuff.. Look at world, I'm on the loose!! HAHA

At 3 months out I have lost 62 lbs: Starting weight: 240 Current weight: 178 I still have quite a bit to go (as my height is 4' 11"). I'm so happy with this progress! I LOVE LOVE LOVE my sleeve. I've learned and lived through quite a bit in the last couple months.... THE GOOD: - Doing 175 squats will not kill you - I can see my clavicles! (This was a very happy NSV for me) - Eating at restaurants and parties is more manageable than I thought (just remember: protein first) - While shopping one day, I looked down and realized I couldn't see my belly, just boobs - I reached my surgeons first goal on 7/22/13, which gave me even more motivation to keep on track - NSV: I can wrap a bath towel around me! - I entered ONEDERLAND on 7/31/13 - This, to me, is by far the most exciting... My resting heart rate went from 120's- 130's down to the 70's!!! THE BAD - "Hunger" during your time of the month: oh wow, I feel like a monster! Lol. Just a tip: don't weigh yourself during your period, it'll just lead to frustration that isn't needed!! - I've come to terms that negative people will be negative. No use in trying to please or understand these people. THE UGLY - CONSTIPATION... Def never had this as an issue before surgery. My norm before was a couple times a day. Now, a couple times a week. Um, ouch. But I recently starting taking Colace. Hopefully that'll help. - Hair loss: Ok, I knew hair loss is a side effect, and it usually happens around month 3 or 4, BUT I wasn't really prepared for what it'd actually look like... Like a horror movie! It's quite disturbing to look have hand- fulls of hair while washing it or to look down in the shower and have a hair ball the size of a chinchilla near your drain! I'm lucky I have such thick (and long) hair to begin with, which is why I think it looks so disturbing. WHAT I'M DOING: Well, what I'm supposed to be doing. Protein first, lots of water, low carbs, and exercising. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I find following this plan pretty simple. I don't feel deprived and I rarely feel hungry. It requires work, but the results are so worth the sacrifices. Just working towards and hoping for continued success!!!

"Hi! My name is Lynn B and I am a Diet Coke-aholic!" They say that the first step to overcoming an addiction is to admit that you have an addiction? Well, I am addicted!! A full fledged addiction. I'm an addict! I absolutely LOVE the feeling of the sweet taste complimented by the extra ordinary fizzy bubbles, which go through the body... the feeling of the fizz rushing throughout me, is a high in itself. I'm in heaven. It all started years ago when with just 1 can of Diet Coke. Ironically, I disliked the taste and the fizz. But, it was a 0 calorie drink - a way to lose weight. (It worked - for a while.) One can grew to approximately 1-2 cases a day of 12 oz cans. I admit, It's horrible, but at that time the taste grew on me with each pound that I lost. I quickly graduated to the "hard stuff" ... the 20 oz icy cold bottle of pure fizz! One sip is so exhilarating - only the bottle can give you this immediate rush! That first sip the fizz is so extreme, I can feel it coursing throughout my whole body. I love the feeling and, cant do without. I can identify with an alcoholic or drug addict... I am a Diet "Coke" addict!!! I admit it, I carry my 20 oz bottle with me everywhere I go. I even carry it in my pocketbook for a quick fix! No matter where I am I have access to my 20 oz bottle... And when I run low, I rush to the nearest store for more. My surgery is in less than 8 days... Yes... E-I-G-H-T Days!!! I've actually weaned myself down to only one 20 oz bottle a day. I actually thought this was such an accomplishment! But, the reality... I'm sweating with fear! I'm in panic! My gastric-by-pass new "tummy" will not tolerate this drug of choice. I will hurl over in severe pain with just a little tiny sip of fizz... I will have to go "Cold Turkey"! HOW!?? And, then comes the withdrawal. How will I survive?! How do I get through this? I need help! I need suggestions! I have to do this! Where is "DCA" (Diet Coke Anonomous) when you need it most? Help me!

Its been awhile since I have posted here.... Life for me is so very different then it has been for most my life... I wake up every morning HAPPY...wanting to get dressed...wanting to look in the mirror. Even wanting to go for a walk...thinking back its all things I always wanted to do...just wasn't going to happen with 130 extra lbs on me... The band is the best thing I have done for ME...Im thankful for my supportive Husband and my sister who is my bestest friend also.... Oh it has been work...in the beginning I was hungry like I read many of you are..but I knew what I had to do to get where I wanted to be...I hung tuff and its so paid off..I started with a BMI of 47...I was tired all the time...who wouldn't be ...Yesterday I weighed in at 130 with a BMI of 25 !!!! My Dr pointed out to me that I have lost more then what I weigh right now...omg I never thought id do it...well yes I did...what I really didn't know was how good it would feel in all aspects of my life and my family's life ..I have been studing to get my GED ...though I did have to take a break from that due to my husband had a heart attic a lil over a month ago and wow that wakes everyone up fast..he is doing very well now...eating right ...exercising a lil more then he did before..during that month my band got so tight I couldn't eat anything and enjoy it...not good...I did see Drs yesterday and got my band unfilled ( scary ) but a upper GI on Monday and if all looks good he will refill it...I was at 8.5 ccs....might go down to 8...what ever he says... SO life is wonderful 19 months since I was banded !!!

I look at my band like the frame work of a house and it is up to me to do the interior decorating. I make the final decision how much to eat, what to eat and if it is good or not good for me. You want your real home to look good and spend time and money to fix it up, paint and buy new things when needed so why would you not take the same amount of time, money and energy to make your band work for you. I am a sugar addict and can not control myself when I eat even a minute amount it causes me to binge like crazy, leaves me with guilt and unforgiveness of my self. Since I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia those old feelings of eating sweets have come back ten fold for self pity. Ice cream has always been my worst nightmare and seriously I could eat a half gallon in two days. I am serious. I found that Breyers makes many light flavors now and no added sugar that are really good and I had to have something. I guess its better then eating 10 pounds of chocolate which I used to do also. Choose your band decorations well. Once you start eating good healthy food you will feel 100 percent better. Some say its expensive to eat healthy but it really isn't. Take advantage of road side produce stands or produce markets for fresh vegetables and fruit. People do not believe when I tell them that you will lose more weight eating beef but it is true because beef out of all meat takes the longest to digest. Some of you have issues with certain meats but I can pretty much eat anything it depends on how I eat it if its going to get stuck or not. You always must put the fork down in between bites and make sure it goes down before attempting more food. Get your band house together and decorate it with love and good food.

These last couple of weeks have been a few of the most stressful that I have had since surgery in May. Stress never seems to ebb in my life as much as it flows. You would think that over time this girl would be used to it, but there is no such thing as getting used to stress. You can roll with it and that's what I do, so that I can deal with the issue at hand and so it doesn't drive me insane. However it does drive me to some things that hinder my journey and even have the potential to harm me. I liked to think of it as comfort, but I know my thinking is warped. I want, no rather I need to find comfort in things other than food when life gets tough and curve balls are thrown at my head. The hug of a loved one is good, the escape of a good book, TV show or movie is great, but nothing brings me the comfort of being in my bedroom with the door to the outside world closed, eating a box of skinny cow, or munching on a vat of peanut butter pretzels. I want to run away and hide where no one can find me, but instead I try to heal the wounds so I can keep on going, and the bandages I use to cover up those wounds are food. It's bad..yes BAD because I am hurting myself by doing that. There are times that I will even pull my husband into it with me. I don't let too many people into my sanctuary, he is a willing accomplice that is until we realize that I am hurting him by sharing this unhealthy habit, and that makes me feel twice as bad. Since I have had surgery and before the latest disaster struck, I was working on NOT eating in bed. NOT eating in my bedroom. Keeping meals and snacks in the kitchen and at the table where they belong. It becomes difficult and feels impossible when I feel the need to hide. I want some peace a moment of relaxation, so I run to my bedroom and barricade myself away from the un-relenting caterwauls that come from outside. If it's not one of the 5 kids, (all over the age of 18-actually 4 over the age of 20!) it's one of our parents, or siblings that claw and vie for attention. Usually something life threating, just so you know it's not just the usual hey what's for dinner or I can't find my key kind of stress, those things just compound daily and sometimes cause the force of the stress to be 10 times worse then it actually is. There are days when I feel as though I have PTSD and just the ring of the phone, the whisper in the hallway or the knock on the door is enough to get my heart palpitating, my head pounding and my brow sweaty with anxiety. I know I should lace up my sneakers and go for a walk, or hang a punching bag and beat the ever loving sh*t out of it. Tape the person of the day to it, and punch away. However, when I am emotionally spent and physically exhausted the only thing I fixate on is the drive to the store to buy that box or container of comfort food. When I get home all I want to do is close and lock my door, curl up under the covers and dig in. This week, as I feel myself calming down a bit from the last two weeks of high anxiety and stress I am re-committing to working on these goals. I am hopeful that enough practice even if it is in between crisis I will be able to overcome my need for comfort foods, if not my need for escape, and learn to soothe my stress in more productive ways. After 42 years, I am learning the power of NO and the definition of boundaries. I am practicing using the word NO more often, putting and keeping those boundaries firmly in place. I am also thinking of investing in that punching bag. It could be a fun way to blow off steam! I wonder if they have one I could put on my desk….

It has been 2 weeks and one day since I had my surgery. I started at 230lbs before my pre-op diet. Surgery date I was 216. As of yesterday the scale hit 199. I was soooo excited to break out of the 200lbs. I was sooo hard for me to lose even 10 lbs pre surgery. It took me 6 months to do so. As of today I lose a total of 31lbs in 1 month. My goal is to get off the 9 more pounds that I had on me from my first child, and then I will put the scale away for a bit as I have been weighing myself every morning counting down till onederalnd! So I started Purees yesterday. My first meal was 1 hard boiled egg, 1 teaspoon miracle whip, 1/2 teaspoon of hummus. I was so ecited to eat "real" food, I scarfed it down a little too quickly. Dont know what was wrong with me, I guess after a month of liquids I was like "GIVE ME FOOD!" So I was only able to eat 1/2 an egg until I was burping and felt full. Although I am not too sure what FULL feels like post op...I burp and my tummy feels like theres stuff in there but that happens very quickly. For lunch I pureed cottage cheese (YUM) and mixed a baby spoonful in with the egg and it was MUCH easier to get down. I have also heard people say its harder to eat in the morning. For dinner I pureed refried beans with some salsa, topped with a pinch of cheddar cheese melted and topped with babyspoon full of sour cream. OMG sooo freakin yummy and slightly spicy from salsa. Sooo sad Iwas only able to eat 1ozif that. I think Im too scared to eat too much and since Im not sure what the warning signs are of being full its only a matter of time before I overdo it and learn for myself. Since I am never hungry, How can I feel satisfied. I would have been "Head" satisfied if I could finish my 1oz of refried beans. I have been doing 2 protein shakes in between each meal. WIth all this eating, waiting and drinking shakes I have nooo time for my water. I try to drink as much as I can at night an hour after dinner. I mean do I have to wake up at 3am just to get in all my calories protein and water. Im only getting about 300 calories, maybe slightly more now that Im on purees. My protein intake is around 50 2 weeks post op (working on it.) and my water intake counting 2 protein shakesmaybe 42oz per day max. Yesterday I felt lightheaded and dizzy and I knew it was because I am not getting enough of anything. As soon as I drink my protein shake it is like rocket fuel and I'm speedy gonzalez again. As far as my recovery, I was driving 6 days post-op, had a party for 30ppl at my house for my daugters bday, been walking and running around with kids to parks, playgrounds, pools(even though I cant go in) This week was the first time I fely very LOW energy. So I am really trying to get in more protein water and calories. HW: 233, Pre-pre.op 230, day of surgery 216, came home from surgery 227 (lol) fluid. Current weight 198. My goal by 3 weeks post op (Next thursday) is 190lbs. My goal after that is my wedding day weight of 170 by Christmas, And 150 by my February 23rd Birthday! That would be amazing!!!