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OMG...they FIT, they FIT, they FIT!!!! The JEANS, that I have had in my closet forever...FIT!!! Skinny, yet curvy(curvy is GOOD people!!) SO...I was in the closet, I decided today was the day I was going to try them on AGAIN...thinking to myself, "oh these didn't fit 3 weeks ago, they will fit in about a month from now". WELL...I put them on, because I always love denim, and I buttoned them, smile began to surface...zipped them, BIG cheesy grin by this time, AND...I AM STILL BREATHING!!! So you better believe I did NOT take these suckers off!!!! I've been doing a little jig, with a little song that just makes the big cheesy grin, not so cheesy...they fit, uh-huh, they fit...oh yea!!!! It's the little successes that are HUGE!!! Just made my day!!! Have a blessed day!!! Keep up the good work everyone and remember to be FABULOUS today!!!

It is 18 months since I was sleeved and I absolutely love my sleeve.I am 8 pounds under my goal weight which is a little to low (my face looks very wrinkly at this weight) Have been in maintenance since about Jan Feb this year and it is so easy to maintain.I do have a strategy I live by though. 1.Weigh every morning.The scale is my friend and I allow myself at most 4 pounds up before I get backto basics.And as my weight never goes up gradually (it jumps up 4 pounds after a week or 2 of loss of fucused eating),it is always easy to get back to protiens for about 4 days and it is gone again. 2.Eat little bits of most food but protein as the primary food source. 2.No excuses when I gain. 3.Not denying myself but never OVER indulging either. Now in this year a lot of very heavy emotional stuff happened in my life and to some extent I have to rebuild my whole life.The blessing of the sleeve is I couldnt eat away my emotions anymore and am learning to deal with it.I am also in therapy now.In my house everyone now eats healthy,regularly and we are learning to really enjoy food.My youngest child developed an eating disorder (she's only 12 now)for which the blame can be laid at my feet.My obsession with food,no,food,weight related issues coupled with a few comments like gymnasts who is lighter finds it easier in higher levels (she's level 8) have made her decide to self restrict her food and at first I thought I was eating much more as my food portions was all of a sudden the same size than hers.After cutting my food to almost nothing I realized that HER PORTIONS WERE AS SMALL AS MINE. Anyway,it showed me my obsession have hurt my children and that they need me to eat with them,which I stopped doing after surgery.I also have to eat mostly what they eat.NORMAL is what I have to do even though my portions cannot be normal.She is doing somewhat better but I have to super vigilant and consistant in my food behaviour as she is not Completely out of the woods yet. Life is really good as we are all learning by the grace of God how to communicate,express,eat and live life as whole people. I still have vitamin issues and borderline low protein but we are working hard on fixing this (side effect of all this is I still lose way too much hair all the time) I am so greatful to have had this surgery.It gave me a life I never would have had.It has helped me change a lot of the issues that kept me in one place.My motto of life is to be managed not to be cured still stands but have a different meaning altogether now.Mindful, intentional living is great! The sleeve rocks

I look at my band like the frame work of a house and it is up to me to do the interior decorating. I make the final decision how much to eat, what to eat and if it is good or not good for me. You want your real home to look good and spend time and money to fix it up, paint and buy new things when needed so why would you not take the same amount of time, money and energy to make your band work for you. I am a sugar addict and can not control myself when I eat even a minute amount it causes me to binge like crazy, leaves me with guilt and unforgiveness of my self. Since I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia those old feelings of eating sweets have come back ten fold for self pity. Ice cream has always been my worst nightmare and seriously I could eat a half gallon in two days. I am serious. I found that Breyers makes many light flavors now and no added sugar that are really good and I had to have something. I guess its better then eating 10 pounds of chocolate which I used to do also. Choose your band decorations well. Once you start eating good healthy food you will feel 100 percent better. Some say its expensive to eat healthy but it really isn't. Take advantage of road side produce stands or produce markets for fresh vegetables and fruit. People do not believe when I tell them that you will lose more weight eating beef but it is true because beef out of all meat takes the longest to digest. Some of you have issues with certain meats but I can pretty much eat anything it depends on how I eat it if its going to get stuck or not. You always must put the fork down in between bites and make sure it goes down before attempting more food. Get your band house together and decorate it with love and good food.

It's a good day today, I didn't get on the scale, I am done with the PMS, and my hormones seem to be balancing out, at least for today!!! I have some new goals in store for me, goals to help me, to challenge me and to just make me feel better in general. I have decided that this time around I'm going to take that bull by the horns and face everything, one thing at a time, head on. I've been frustrated with the scale not moving, so I saw someone on here posted this shake to get through the "stall" and this quote that was confirmation to me, because I said it yesterday...You didn't have your patience removed during surgery so why are you in such a hurry to lose what took you years to gain? - UH...DUH...I thought that yesterday, read it today and thought OMG...get with it, you are making good choices, you have been given this tool to help on the journey, so chill out and keep truckin' ahead! I already belong to a gym with the Hubs, but I decided to challenge my mind and body with CrossFit. I have a lot of friends, at all different weight and fitness levels that go, and I really feel this will get my body in gear to keep making those right choices. I am excited for the challenge and excited to see the results. I am signing a 3 month contract and then more if I still like it at 3 months. I told the Hubs that I NEED to do this for me and I need his support to know that I have to do this. I don't know what it is but I just feel the need to finally challenge ME. I'm cleaning out my closet next, while the scale isn't moving, I have noticed that things that were tight before surgery are just way too big, not even somewhat cute to get me through til I lose more weight, so they are OUTTA there!!!! Not EVER going back to that size again! I'm finding that instead of using my hands to eat, I'm organizing more(which I am pretty damn organized already), getting my surroundings in order...the new me is coming out to play and I think I really like this woman!!! I've continued taking pics...sent one to mom yesterday...I said LOOK...my sides aren't touching the side of my office chair!!! What a great feeling!!! I'm super excited at what lies ahead for ALL of us...and I have to say I'm thankful for all on here, this is a great place to come for a "pick me up"!!! Be Blessed, and know that you have GREAT days ahead of you.

I probably shouldn't be typing today. Yesterday was just an all around horrible day. I had it out with a co-worker. I really do try to bite my tongue and keep peace...but oh lord she just hit the wrong button. So we've agreed to just not speak to each other. I was going to ask my director to move my cubicle elsewhere (so very tired of the drama in this dept). However, I don't want to add to the drama and stress him out. So I just keep my headphones on and play my music all day while I work. Today I feel the need for 'angry' music. So worked sucked. Get home last night. I'm chilling with my kids then my g/f gets home...and...well.. of course she starts. Yells at my daughter because she left her bedroom light on (YES i agree, let's not waist energy, i'm big on that too) She then tells her to stay in her room the remainder of the night and takes her phone away. I realize my kids have been told more than once not to leave lights, but really? Then my g/f looks at the living room table and asks me "you couldn't clean it off?". Now keep in mind, I'm a super cleaning freak now. I keep that table SPOTLESS. However SOMEONE (who was not me) was in a rampage Sunday looking for one of her bills and a gift cert. Of course she had to take every document we had put away out to look for these papers. So...was I going to clean up her tantrum mess? OH HELL NO.. Then she looks over at the kitchen table and notices HER waffle from Saturday morning still there. And of course she asks why it's still there and why I didn't clear up her plate after breakfast when I cleared mine. I kindly reminded her she is an adult and can clear her own plate. I reminded her how she got up after breakfast and sat her @ss down on the couch. The 'rule' is who ever cooks, the other cleans..yet when I do cook (which isn't often, I hate cooking, always have) she NEVER cleans up after. Matter of a fact, she usually has the kids do it. I started to eplain to her she needs to help out more around the house. She went on and on about how she pays the bills and cooks.. Of course this didn't go over well with me since i pay MORE THAN HALF the mortgage (since my kids take up the 2 spare bedrooms) and how I pay MORE THAN HALF Of the utilities...we won't even go into how I buy all the toiletries (which is MY fault since I will only use Tide). So we begin yelling at each other...and I finally screamed out "since this is YOUR house and YOU pay all the bills, I'll just move out and get my own place". Yeah, that didn't go over well. She accused me of being a child and wanting to run out rather than deal with the relationship like an adult. I told her i'm tired of the nitpicking and the fighting. We basically yelled another 30 minutes then we both shut up and aren't talking to each other. This is the part where I was proud of myself. Rather than run to the fridge to attempt to stuff my face, I went to my room and began cleaning. I even cleaned the bathroom (ok so the bathroom in our room is 'our' bathroom. however, she NEVER cleans the damn thing, so i've stopped getting ready in there, I've stopped cleaning it. Thinking that just MAYBE she would get off her @ss and clean.. NOPE. it's a hot mess. Gross really). So I grabbed clorox and wiped down the whole damn thing. Did a load of laundry. So this shows me my old habits of using food as my comfort, I now use cleaning as it HAHA!! Much less self destructive. I did look for houses to rent online today. Ugh there is nothing in my price range (how the hell do people think we will pay more than $1000 for rent..seriously?) I don't know if this fight will blow over.. I don't know that I want it to. I do love her. I do. When it's good, it's great. When it's bad...ugh watch out world. Explosive. I don't feel it's a healthy relationship for either one of us..love or not. Blah, I just want to go home........so over today.

Wednesday it all changes. I had a couple mini panic attacks over the weekend. I just burst into tears in the shower. I had to do deep breathing exercises a few times to settle down my nerves. I'm not second-guessing my decision. I stand firm behind it. I'm ready and excited. The unknown is what is grating at me...how much pain, how long will it last, what happens if I...all those crazy little thoughts that just won't quick knocking on my brain. Add to the crazy the fact that I've been off the NSAIDs I take for the arthritis in my feet and knees for almost a week now. I hurt everywhere. There is no relief. Tylenol is a joke. I tried to rest this weekend, but just moving up the stairs to my bedroom was a chore. I know this will get better, but wow...I didn't realize how much the meds helped until I couldn't take them anymore. Then, I decided this weekend to begin the process of kicking the caffeine out of my system. I didn't figure that would be so hard since I don't take in that much each day. I was wrong. My head hurts. At least I kicked the soda habit over a year ago. That helps. Tomorrow is a full day of clear liquids. I giggle when I think about the instructions to take a shower and use a q-tip to clean out my belly button. Then, at 5:45 am Wednesday, I report for Band duty! So, now I'm putting one foot in front of the other, taking deep breaths, and repeating to myself "I CAN."

Ok, so I had my endoscopy today, which means my file will be submitted to the insurance for approval tomorrow.... I hope that goes well. The Endoscopy was neat, I have never been under any type of sedation before. I feel good overall, except for this headache I've had all day but I think its because my body wants to go back to sleep and I haven't let it. I left the hospital at 12:30 and have been up ever since, everyone says I should be sleep, so I guess I'm going to turn in shortly as its 607 in the evening. Well I just wanted to say, I had the endoscopy yesterday and the 15 day count down begin tomorrow. Wish me luck everyone!!!!!

Well...GOOD morning!!!! I took the advice I was given and ran with it! I am trying...trying...trying to up my calorie intake, that is very difficult, but I am managing!!! SOOOOOOOOOOOOO...as the title states, IT MOVED!!! The scale, it moved, it moved, it moved!!! And I got so excited, I told my hubs...he likes to joke around and he said, "well the scale does move when you get on!!" I just said, "HONEY!!" He laughed and I said my stall is gone for now, now that makes me HAPPY!!! It was stuck, on 208 forever! NOW...it reads 203.8!!! Yippee!!! I have to say, we are all on this journey and I am super thankful, daily, that I have the support that I have, and I will help be a support to anyone who needs it! This is for the rest of our lives and that is the really exciting part!!! We get to have energy, function without losing our breath, exercise and not still be jiggling even when we are done, live longer, have a healthy relationship with food, give our families the BEST of us...the list goes on and on! I'm just so excited to see and hear about everyone's progress, it just makes me smile!!!

I just like to say AT&T will disconnect your internet if you owe them $25. Yeah I forgot to pay them last paycheck so they disconnect my service last Friday. Ooops! I had a very interesting weekend. Saturday I went to a Fundraiser at one of the bars I used to go to before I was banded. I am not trying to sound conceded but these dudes was on me like white on rice or my pheromones were really high. Anyway my hand got kissed on more times than I received in a lifetime. It felt weird over overwhelming. I am not use to that. I still see myself as the 267 girl but more healthy. I had to text my best friend Lesley because I was overwhelmed! She told me to get over it and enjoy the new me! I talk to my big sister about yesterday to and she told me to embrace all of this because more will be coming my way. My sister and Lesley are right because I look damn sexy! I am so happy the football season has officially started and next Sunday starts the preseason of Hockey! This is why I work out more on Sundays but so far I am going well. How about those Rams! Anyway tomorrow is my port replacement surgery and I have to be at the hospital at 530am! Ugh that is so early but I know I won’t be able to sleep a wink tonight. I think it’s going to be a candy crush of a night! I will do my best to keep everyone updated. I still love my band and I am 65 pounds lighter! God is good Thanks for reading

I have to say that reading blogs and viewing photos are so inspirational to me. When I made the decision to have this surgery it took me a year to say "I am going to do it". Now I am so excited to know that I am making the right choice for me and only me. I can't wait to have my surgery which is scheduled for Dec. 26th, 2013. Just want to thank everyone on here for the good and bad stories reguarding their experiences and I wish EVERYONE success on their healthy weight loss journey!