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The below quote is from here. Welp. That's depressing. And very accurate for me. My timeline (that I can remember) 2003 - 200 lbs, graduated high school tried Jenny Craig, Weight Watcher's, Herbal Magic, physician-supervised weight loss 2004 - 230 lbs, freshman "15" 2006 - 200 lbs with diet/exercise concurrent with first serious relationship 2006 - 230 lbs, 3 months after end of first serious relationship 2007 - 250 lbs 2008 - 220 lbs with diet and exercise, then started a grueling intensive 3 year program 2009 - 250 lbs 2011 - 275 lbs, graduated from said program, then couldn't find a job for 4 months, did food and retail therapy 2012 - 235 lbs, with personal trainer costing $4000 with diet/exercise 2013 - 285 lbs, highest weight ever at pre-op for vertical gastric sleeve surgery, found out 2 weeks before surgery I am hypothyroid. Time to put an end to this horrific yo-yo dieting. It reinforces in my mind that I'm doing the right thing by having this surgery. No turning back now.

It's official! I saw Dr. X on Monday for my monthly follow up. I have hit the the 50 pound loss mark. If you really think about it ... that's a whole big bucket of blubber. Fifty pounds is definitely life changing. Just about every aspect of my life has changed. My complete wardrobe (all three levels) are obsolete. My sleep habits have changed ... no more snoring. My exercise went from zero to above moderate. My eating habits have greatly changed for the better. My overall activity level has improved. My blood pressure went down and my resting heart rate is at the GOOD level. I'm only a couple of beats per minute over EXCELLENT and not far from ATHLETE. That's a hoot! So you can probably say that I had a complete makeover. Both in outside appearance and inside my head. It's the head part that's the hardest to change. I will have to struggle with this for the rest of my life. If I ever give in, it'll be back to the level 3 wardbrobe and I can't afford that. Well I think it's time to get a real grip on what 50 pounds of fat ass real is. We reviewed it at the 40 level and that was kinda fun. And very eye opening. So let's look at fifty. 1) $200 in quarters ( that would be 800 coins) weighs fifty pounds. This begs the question: What would you rather have? 200 bucks or my ass full of quarters? 2) An average 7 year old child weighs fifty pounds. My kid is growing up right before my eyes. Remember? He was only 3 at the 40 pound level 3) A bale of hay weighs 50 pounds. My ass weighed about 10 bushells full. 4) A baby pygmy hippo weighs 50 pounds. We can all think of something wittty to say here. Let's leave at this: A few months ago, hanging out with me would be like hanging out with 5 baby hippos. Less the cuteness. 5) 2 big sacks of potatos weigh fifty pounds. Formerly easily consumed by me either fried, baked, sauteed, mashed, boiled. It didn't matter. Also, A potato is the Father of the Chip. Forever whorshipped. 6) A medium pit bull terrier. 50 pounds of sheer muscle. Can't say that about 50 pounds of ass. 7) 5 bowling balls. Yep. Strap 'em on and go up and down the stairs a few times. It never gets old! If we had time, I would go around the house and weigh all the appliances. I know my ass was at least as heavy as your average microwave oven. Or maybe even your refrigerator. It was big and it was heavy. Now, not so much. Yes, I am still of large ass. But not of fat ass. Hopefully soon, I will be of normal ass. Fret not my friends, I will always be YOUR horse's ass. Hasta la vista, baby! Johnny! P.S. I'm in the game for real now. Dr. X gave me another full c.c. in the band. I'm at 35% restriction. I will report any changes soon

Every now and then I get a PM asking me how I have lost so much weight so fast and what do I do for exercise. Let me tell you honestly I have lost a significant amount of weight just by simply doing things that I couldn't do for a very long time. Things that most people do daily. When I was 488lbs I could hardly stay on my feet for 10 minutes at a time without sever muscle cramps in the back of my legs. I couldn't even walk the grocery store with my Wife. I used to sit in the car and wait for her to do it and then I would get out and help her load the car. We would get home and carry the groceries into the house and I would have to sit and catch my breath, rest my legs before helping her put stuff away. It was no way for a 45 year old man to live. So to say I lost a lot of weight with no exercise is not completely accurate but the exercise I was getting is stuff that some folks may take for granted and I never will again. At my heaviest everything but sitting and lying down was a task. I was a home body as much as possible and even going out to a movie was a task. I even reached a sad point where taking a shower was a real chore but I did it every day because not taking one is just unacceptable not mention gross. So as my journey has progressed so has my physical activity but yet I am still having a problem getting in actual exercise and sometimes just a simple walk is hard to get in. Last week I committed to 10 hours of cardio and came up way short not even reaching half. This week same thing I committed to 10 hours of cardio and I didn't get the walk in yesterday. Today I am going and this time no excuses. Exercise needs to become a daily task just like taking a shower is a daily task.... So far my weight loss has not really started to slow down but I am starting to see the signs that it might. I figure as I am inching closer to goal it will only get more difficult/slow. My initial goal that I was shooting for was to weigh 220lbs. That would still put me into the obese BMI but I can accept 220. I am on track to hitting my goal of 250 for Christmas which I set last Christmas. Starting to wonder if 199 is possible. Excess skin is really becoming noticeable but there is not much I can do about that. Insurance is not going to cover plastic surgery. So you choose to live with the excess skin or be fat. I'll take the loose skin just as long as I don't start having problems. Anyway if you read this far then thank you. I hope your day is going well and that your scale is being friendly to you!

I checked in to the hospital earlier than anticipated Monday, Aug. 26th (they called and said they had a cancellation and could I come in early!). After a few hours of prep and waiting and more waiting, I was finally wheeled away. Surgery went quickly, doc said about an hour and NO hiatal hernia to repair after all! Apparently sometimes the endoscopy will pick something up but then when they actually get in there, there's nothing to sew up. Recovery was long for me. I had a hard time waking up from the anesthesia. I was in a ton of pain and almost collapsed when they got me out of bed the first time to go to the bathroom (no catheter for me) but thank goodness for my husband and a strong nurse that held on tight. First night was rough - not going to lie. I wasn't prepared for the pain from the gas they fill your tummy up with. I have 6 2 inch incisions on my stomach and no bandages! I came home yesterday the 27th and took my pain pills religiously thru the night to allow me to sleep. Each hour gets easier and easier pain wise. I'm up and walking a bit and doing 2 oz. or protein shakes at the top of each hour and as much water as I can get in. My daughter just shared her chicken noodle soup broth with me and it was HEAVEN. It feels very strange at first to have anything going down to the stomach pouch but I'm getting used to it. I weighed 266 going in to surgery and gained a few pounds from the gas, fluids, etc. but my weight is going down quickly. I can't eat until 9/19 when I go back for my 3 week appointment but I'm prepared with all my shakes and supplements, etc. I'm so happy to have the actual surgery behind me and be moving on. And I can't say enough about the staff at Swedish Hospital in Seattle - they are AMAZING!

So August 3rd was the last time i posted on here and I figured I needed to update. The past couple weeks have been crazy. Work has started back, I got sick, went to Carowinds, got my first fill. But lets tackle one at a time. #1 - THE KIDS ARE BACK. School is back in session. So far I've only made one kid cry *YAY* lol (Yes Im a mean art teacher) but he saw me today and gave me a hug, so I guess all is forgiven. New principal, lots of new staff, and still adjusting to everything. I am PRAYING tomorrow goes well with my all boy classes and that no one want to fight. But it is week one there are LOTS of weeks let for them to get tired of each other. But thus far lots of hugs and "I missed yous " I even had one of my little trouble makers jump into my arms when he saw me yesterday lol - Silly youngins . Then there was the "Ms.O'Malley do you have a baby in your belly kid?" ALWAYS 1 each year. I have accepted by kids DO NOT understand I am not pregnant but I just look pregnant (you cant tell my kindergartens that, they wont believe you lol) #2 - Caught a cold the week before school. Well that sucked. All I wanted was carbs and cheese. I had cheesy mashed potatoes, cheesy grits, and mac and cheese galore. Chicken? Steak? Ugh wanted nothing to do with it. Lasted about 3 days and I glad it ended before school got back in. That would have been a crappy was to start the year. #3 - Carowinds - Had a blast! I had (at that time) lost about 35 pounds from where I was last summer. And when I went I couldn't fit into about 3 of the roller coasters. Embarrassed much? HIGHLY. But this year went - fit in everything I tried to ride, although I didn't try everything for fear of hurting my port. I am still not where I fit "comfortably" but at least I fit. Funny enough it was last year when I couldn't fit in the roller-coaster that I reached my "breaking point" and decided to get the lapband as soon as I got insurance. #4 Fill - Got my 1st fill FINALLY - 2 months+ later. Went weighing in at 227 (started at 265) which 4 pounds in 3 weeks before that 4 pounds in 2 weeks. So i'm averaging about 2 pounds loss per week. My doctor said we need to work on the AMOUNT of food I take in even if i'm losing 2 pounds steadily. Right now I'm eating 1 cup 4 or 5 times a day. She said we need to get me at 1 cup 3 times a day and 1 snack 1/2 cup. 1 cup of my food is the max I eat but I definitively am not satisfied on it so hopefully getting these fills will help. When she removed the fluid from surgery to measure I was SHOCKED. She removed 5.6cc!!! I was like WHOA now, thats alot. She told me that why I]m not starving and my reply was THATS why I was in so much PAIN after surgery. She said... more than likely :::eye roll:: anyway...... my port is at an angle but in the perfect angle for a fill. IN - OUT - DONE I had my fill with fluoro so I got to see the xray of my band and the barium going through - pretty cool. She added 1cc couldn't feel a difference then another... still no difference. She told me that's all shes going to add for now I go back in 4 weeks for a check-up. Put on liquids 2 days, pureed 2 days and then solids. So we will see. Hunger hasnt kicked in so far - 11oz of protein shake / Tea / 11oz Tomato soup We will see!

It has been a long time since I have written or read much on this site. Work is kicking my butt, working about 9-10 hours a day in the office, then coming home to do house work. It's become a work, work, work atmosphere and it's getting me down. This past Sunday I spent most of the day sleeping, I was exhausted. It's just Tuesday and I have already put in 22 hours. My body aches, I feel blah, and have zero motivation or desire to do anything more that what is necessary. Exercise just ain't happening and lately neither has healthy eating. I caught myself today eating like I use to and it scared me. I haven't had time to think lately or put much effort into meals. Breakfast is still the same yogurt, blueberries with a sprinkle of granola. Lunch is anything from cereal to take out. Today a friend went to Moes and got me a burrito bowl. I was busy working at my desk, she put it in front of me and said eat. I said thanks and started working. I was working and eating and caught myself mindlessly eating and shoveling it in. That is a habit I never want to see again. When I finally get home from work, I have no energy left to want to cook, so it easy stuff like bag meals or delivery pizza. Thankfully, this crazy time tends to only last about a month, before things get back to normal. I can't wait!! My stress level is higher than it's been in a very long time, people at work are ill, the new computer system at work plan out sucks and cause me to work twice as hard to do half the work. Honestly, I want to sit down and cry. My weight is still holding in the 186-189 range, which I guess I should be thankful that it hasn't gone up considering my horrific eating habits of late. With all the stress it causes me to look at myself like I use to- like a huge fat blob that will never loose weight so why try. I know 60 lbs are gone, but I still feel huge. I am guessing it's the working myself to the bone, exhaustion, time of the month, ect that are getting me down. I had so hoped that by this time or at least by Christmas this year I would be at my goal of 140, but I am starting to think I will never get there and why try. Any one with some words of wisdom or some encouragement out there? Totally feeling down and unworthy.

It wasn't that big of deal! http://tinkrisegrind.blogspot.com/2013/08/12-days-post-revision-and-feeling-good.html?showComment=1377658646290#c3004322866497770283 So happy to feel full again!

It is said that a journey of 1000 miles begins with the first step. I began my journey on April 9, 2013. That's the day it finally hit me. I was sitting on a plane. I was an Oreo away from the ultra-embarrassing plea for the belt extender. I could barely fit in the last of my emergency wardrobe. I was tired. Tired of trying to accommodate my fat life style. Because that's what you do. You accommodate your fatness. I just couldn't go on like this. I was ready for a change. I was already through all my hoops for the Lap Band surgery. I was in limbo waiting for my insurance company to green light me. But I couldn’t wait any longer. I decided .. that minute.. that tomorrow I would start my quest for Thindom. Thindom is a mystical place. It’s the fat ass version of Vallhalla, Atlantis and the Lost City of Gold all rolled up in to one. For a fat person, Thindom is a legend. It is a utopian place that the over -girthed can only dream about. No fat ass has ever been to Thindom and come back to talk about it. Many expanded explorers have tried, but all have failed. It is said that those that enter Thindom, are blessed with a new life filled with hope and joy. Everyone smiles and beams with optimism. It is a place where one size really does fit all. It’s heaven for the hefty. But beware you of fatness! The trail to Thindom is wrought with danger. There are obstacles at every turn. Unknown creatures and mythical beings lurk in the shadows; their only goal is your defeat. To get to Thindom, you must soldier through these adversities. You must plan your adventure carefully. And you can NEVER look back. You can NEVER give up. There is no yellow brick road. There is only nachos and cheese. I have made it half way to Thindom. I’m currently navigating my way through the evil forest of fat. I can see the magical mountains of Munchies in the distance. Once I cross their jagged peaks, I hope to spy the valley of Thindom. I know it is there. I can feel it. Alas, my journey has had its ups and downs. I have danced with the Devil. I have succumbed to the liquid offerings of Al C. Hall. I have fought the beautiful temptress and her sultry offers of cheeseburger and fries. I have dueled with the Duke of Doughnuts. Yes friends, there have been pitfalls. But every time I fell, I got up. The demons in my mind have not deterred me from goal. I have managed to shed 45 pounds of unsightly blubber. I have 41 to go to hit my goal. If my present pace continues, I will have a 1 in the front of my weight in a few weeks for the first time since Reagan was president. Yes, I know. The road to Thindom gets harder as you get closer to the gate. I hope it’s not just fat ass folklore. When I get there, I will try to contact you from the other side. I wonder if Thindom has wi-fi? Until we meet again…. Johnny T Please visit my blog: TheDeconstructionOfJohnny.blogspot.com

Today is day 4 and I am doing better than I thought. At the beginning of the diet I was having a hard time consuming broth(its gross) so I have tried the can soups with low sodium and strain them and just sip on the broth. This has worked so far. It feels wasteful but what I do is feed the meat and noodles to my kids at lunchtime. They love it (for now) Im struggling to make it to 800 cals. Im still trying to figure out how am I suppose to make it there just on liquids. As each day goes by it gets easier. The smell of food cooking during the day makes me miss the little food I did eat however I am managing. I keep in mind that this is for a good cause and if I slip up or mess up, it could cause my surgery to be canceled and I dont want that at all. This morning I made breakfast for my kids--pancakes and bacon--which is my favorite. But I made it through and I pray that I continue to do well. My mom has been on board as added support so shes doing the liquids with me but of course with other foods just in a soupy consistency. It feels good to have her support. In addition my husband is being very supportive and he's changing his eating habits as well. He has already lost weight and Im proud of him also. I have been drinking the Premier Protein Shakes from Sams Club. They are good. Since they are low carb and sugar I often wondering if I could drink three instead of two. Im not too sure so I just keep it at my two servings. Jell-o is my friend and sugar-free popsicles are becoming my very best friend. I find that if I stay ahead of my hunger, I do ok. I aim for every 2-3 hours to consume something rather its jell-o, popsicle, crystal light, propel or any sugar-free/low cal drink. Im excited to see how much weight I have lost over this period of time. My annual appointment is the day before surgery. Cant wait! Day 4 almost at an end. Thankful to have made it through Good luck to all my May Bandster Buddies. Until next time, remember, YOU are in control of your destiny. God Bless Lala

As the day approaches to recieve my surgery date, I am becoming more and more nervous. These feelings are a bit overwhelming but I am excited. It sounds crazy, I know. I have waited for this opportunity for quite some time. However, I was never fully ready until now. I am grateful for this chance and I just want to be successful. Having lost 15lbs since I began this process in December 2011 has shocked me enough. I just hope the weight goes away and stay away--with my efforts and hardwork of course My appointment with my surgeon is 3/28/12. I should know my date by then. Yippie!! I'll definitely post my date once I know it. ~Lala