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In case no one has figured it out...I am the husband LOL. I am happy Kelli has finally joined up on the site and she can hear things first hand from a woman's perspective/experiences. :-)

Can I say that I relate as well, but wanted to add that one thing I have learnt being 5 years post banding is that I never changed. On the outside? Yes. How people treated me? Definitely. But the fundamental part of me, who I was, who I am, remains the same. That doesn't change with the what you weigh. The difference though between me and someone who was always thin is that I recognise that someone's weight doesn't define them. And it doesn't define me. Nor should it define you. Fat, thin, you will still be you.

I enjoyed reading your story. When I met with my original surgeon, long story, I said I felt like a failure because I needed the Band! She said I was not a failure but I was helping myself with a tool. She was right. I love my tool. I love no more 'fat stores'. I can fit into booths in restaurants and no longer have to ask for table and chairs. I can keep up with my grandsons. Don't think that getting the band means you are a failure and need help. We all need help everyday. In other ways. By the way, did you ever model? good luck with your choice. Maybe go to the support meetings with your husband. I go every month and most of the time my husband comes with me for support.

I love talking with Jim!! He is super. Welcome to the club.

Our stories are very similar! Like you, I have been "the fat girl" my entire life. I can remember being as young as 5th grade and obsessed with how huge my thighs were. I remember being teased for being big all through junior high. I remember going shopping with my girlfriends in high school and being so ashamed because I couldn't wear anything at the "normal sized" shops they went to. I did date as a teen but my self esteem was always awful. When I hit college, like you I decided to own being a fat girl. I had more self confidence and I decided I didn't give a rip if someone did like me for me- fat and all. ...but then I had my first child at 21 years old...and got bigger and bigger. Over the years I ballooned up to over 400 pounds. Any self esteem I ever had was long gone and my health was seriously tanking fast. My best advice is to let go of that "fat girl" mentality. Too often we wear it like a suit of armor not a badge of courage. We're teased and tormented so severely we try to muster up all this false bravado to shield ourselves from being hurt yet again. It is simply wonderful you're doing this for your health- but you have to be ok with the fact there's nothing wrong with doing this to look good, too. You're not letting society or anyone else "win" by getting the Lap Band and losing weight. YOU are winning for taking control of your health so you can live a long, happy, healthy life with your husband. Best wishes to you

I have been the "fat friend" my whole life! I also decided to "own" myself, but it was in my thirties instead of my twenties. I've decided that who I am has nothing to do with the number on the scale. BUT...I need to be healthy. And if any of my "friends" end up feeling cheated because they lost their "fat friend" and find no place for the real me in their life...so be it. I've vowed to be true to myself. It's all about me, baby!!!! (LOL...I'm not really that selfish, but it's fun to say that!)

OK, here is a bit of a rant. Lately, it seems that everyone has the opinion that I have lost too much weight and need to stop. I currently weigh 186 lbs, just at the top of the 'normal' range for my height. I don't want to look sickly, and don't think that I do, but my image of myself is distorted, and I know that. My mind hasn't caught up with the rapid weight loss yet. It is starting to piss me off how everyone is insisting that I need to stop losing weight. I know that, and plan to, but don't even know how to at this point. I can't eat more than I do now. Yesterday, my family and I went to a 50th anniversary party. We saw my stepmother, who I haven't seen in about a month or so. She kept telling me I was done and needed to stop. I kind of snapped back at her, which is out of character for me, and I'm sure threw her off guard. I said that I wished people were this concerned for me when I weighed 274 (and growing) and had ACTUAL health issues because of it. Her reply was that I was more open to talking about it now, since I was so open to talking about the surgery. I guess that's a fair point, but still annoys me. When we got home, my wife told me that my stepmother told her that I looked like a little old man, and that the surgery made me look 15 years older. This REALLY hurt and upset me. I told my wife that I wished she hadn't told me that. She couldn't understand why it upset me. She said that my stepmom was just stating her opinion, and that she was concerned about me. I said that I was upset because I didn't go through all of this to look like a little old man. While I had the surgery for health reasons and not vanity reasons, I still wouldn't like to look older. I'm 42, and don't want to look like a little old man. My wife also said that it could have been what I was wearing. I had on a polo shirt that was kind of long and made me look taller and thinner than I really am. My wife agrees that I'm getting too thin, but doesn't agree with the little old man comment. My wife also had the surgery, and looks amazing. She is 40, and could pass for 25 now. She is not yet to goal, so who knows how she'll look if she also gets 'too skinny'. I told my wife I don't want to look like the old man dating the model. I'm not even rich! LOL I was really depressed by the whole thing last night. I'm a little better about it today. The whole process has been an emotional roller coaster. I really think they need to strengthen the psychological requirements for weight loss surgery, and have mandatory psych follow-ups AFTER surgery. This site is what has kept me sane, just knowing there are other people who have had similar thoughts/experiences as me. I've attached a before and after photo of myself to this blog post. I'd love opinions about whether I look 'too skinny' or 15 years older. Thanks.

Perhaps it is genuine concern she approached with when saying you are too skinny. Don't get me wrong, I personally think you look fabulous. (Not "too skinny" nor "an old man") But this woman has spent years accepting (and loving I assume) you as you were. Sometimes it is harder for those around us to accept we are obese and need help than it is for us to decide it for ourselves. You did what was right for you, for your life. Be proud every second of every day that you cared enough about YOU to do that. In time the family (and others) will come around and get to know and love the "new" you the same as they did the old you. BTW- I think it is awesome you and your wife did this together. That is an amazing support system built right into your marriage!

Good luck! And YES THE BATH TOWEL! Can't wait for that either! Prayers for a swift recovery!

WOW, A-mazing transformation! You look positively fantastic!! Lying, really? Why on earth would someone lie about that?? Geez.....