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You sound like the real deal, and from my experience you are an endangered species. Hold your head up, and continue to be true!

When I got married in May, 2009 I had to be at about my highest weight. I had stopped checking my weight long before so I imagine I was somewhere around 400 pounds. Hubby and I got married at Disney and were having our photos done in one of the hotel lobbies. A woman came up to us and apologized for the interuption but said she had to tell me something. She said her small daughter had asked her if they would get to see any Disney princesses and she told her that they wouldn't until they got to the parks. Her daughter had then pointed to me and said "but mom, there's a princess!". I know I had likely gushed my thanks at the time. I wish I could let her know what an incredibly sweet and touching gesture this was. Considering at 400 pounds, even in my wedding dress I truly looked nothing like Cinderella or any of the other princesses, but it really goes to show what beautiful souls children and even adults can have, This memory has remained with me and fluttered into my mind while sitting at work today. I've never blogged before but such a happy memory is certainly a good place for me to start. -K T

Sorry to hear about your friend's fire. As for your co-workers, they are co-workers, not friends. People are with their co-workers more than anyone else in their life yet they don't understand the bonding sometimes. Very sad for them. Meanwhile, raising money for the fire victim was great and must have made you feel wonderful. NSV!

These long dreary days are not doing much for my get up and go. I find myself bored to tears. Yawning my head off to the point that my eyes are watering. I'd love to be able to have the time to take off and just recuperate from the level of stress my life always seems to be under. The problem I encounter is when I have a down moment, and things are not moving at the speed of light and sound I don't know what to do with myself! I am so used to the high impact crash that usually happens when my battery stalls from all the overwhelming stress. The ones that take me down to the ground, and keep me there only until all the wounds scab over. I'm not used to pulling over and letting things pass me and avoiding those high speed crashes, but I am learning and I have been making different life choices these days and it's not just about food. Last year was a very rough year. It started at its usual break neck speed of things, and the intensity only increased throughout the year. I could write down all the grisly details, but sometimes sharing it all makes me tired and a bit sad. The events were extreme and it's a story that leaves most people staring at us with their mouths hanging open in disbelief. From January to April of last year our lives were zooming along on a roller coaster ride out of control. New Year's Eve this year we looked at each other, and vowed that this would be the year we worry about us. The year we focus on our health and wellbeing. A few weeks into the new year, my husband found out he would need a total hip replacement. The pain in his leg and his hip was getting worse by the second so we contacted the Hospital for Special surgery and met with the doctor, and the doctor didn't sugar coat it he told him flat out you need the surgery and that he would not touch him at his weight. He told him point blank go for some kind of weight loss surgery because you can't undergo this operation without it. He was devastated as I was to hear that. NO one wants to hear they are fat or that they are going to continue to suffer because of it if they don't do something about it, but I had a plan and I had the perfect place for us to go! I called the surgeon I had met 2 years prior that very same day and he accommodated us, so we drove there that very same day and started our Lapband journey! We jumped over the hurdles and through the testing hoops. We swam in the sea of the liquid diet, and we had our surgery, and in me…something was changing. I was learning so much more about myself. Not only about the foods I was eating, but why I was eating, and when and how and as I started to look at those things…I had to look at myself. I mean REALLY look at myself deep down inside in those dark and scary corners that no one wants to venture not even me! Yes my body had changed I had all these new little lines all around my tummy. I had lost some weight and I could see that in the mirror. My clothes were fitting better, but more importantly my attitude was changing. For me the stress never stops coming, not everything is as exceptional as the last year and Thank God for that! Something's are positive stressors like my youngest son's High School Graduation, College registrations 70th Birthday parties and 50 year anniversaries, but being part of the sandwich generation can really take its toll. My husband and I are caught between our sick and ailing parents who end up in the hospital every other week with life and death issues, from life support to blood clots to life saving surgeries decisions to be made on a dime, and our Peter Pan children who are pushing into their late 20's that seem to not want to grow up and take on the mantel of adulthood responsibility. We are always under one stress or another, working full time long hours far from home is sometimes a good thing, but most days it just adds to the level of stress. As I am learning what powers my body, and what it needs and doesn't need what it can and will tolerate or not, I am also learning about myself. The undue stress I endure when I run and jump and speed race for others, when I take on too many projects and take on other peoples responsibilities it adds to my already heavy burden. I have learned that just because I am capable, and can carry it doesn't mean that I have to. I am learning to pick and choose the things I engage in, as much as I pick and choose how, what and when I eat. I love to be able to help people it makes me feel good to share the knowledge and understanding I have, or to give physical aid where it's needed, but it can no longer be at the expense of my health. It hasn't been so easy for me to understand that I have to come first. I have to put my health and my wellbeing above the rest. I'm learning to take deep breaths and to try and keep the stress at bay. It's not always possible and it's never easy but I'm learning to cope to work with and around things that I should not be stressing over. In three almost four months the band has really helped me to make some major changes in my life and my lifestyle in positive ways. I don't think any weight loss would have been possible for me to keep off if I did not make some of these alterations, and I hope that I am able to continue to learn and implement new coping skills and see even more weight loss as I move forward toward my goals. Taking the time to think about and write all this today, as boring and dreary a day as it is here, has been an awesome non scale victory for me!

Haven't posted in awhile, things are going really well, I am a little over 2 weeks out and down 17 pounds, haven't moved from that in 4 days so I figure the dreaded 3 week stall is hitting. Oh well, I have learned its very common. Went to see my surgeon today and dietician. My surgeon was amazed at my recovery,(I must say he is a cutie too!) I have not had any issues, besides nausea with the celebrate vitamins. I am transitioning according to plan. He said "you are what we like to see with this surg" that made me feel good. I have been following rules, although I snuck a peanut butter cracker in the other day. Chewed it till it was mush. I must say it was delightful! But I was satisfied with that amount, unlike before where I would have eaten 15 of them. I asked the surgeon how he closed the stomach after he cut it, (I like gory details) He said he uses titanium staples which are permanent, also sutures a type of goretex material that dissolves along the incision, and he takes some of the omentum(tissue throughout the abdomen) and sutures it around the stomach to keep it in place.(this helps with nausea) These are techniques that are fairly new and that he and his partners created and are being used around the country. The dietician has given me the ok for soft foods and purees, what I don't get is they do not allow eggs, like egg salad or scrambled. But I can have tuna or chick salad. That was weird. I will stay on this for 4 more weeks before real food happens. I have tried mashed potatoes, refried beans and creme of wheat already no issues. I am slowly understanding the feeling of restriction now with this new food. I like to know its there. That is what keeps me on track. I do not have problems with sugar(kinda wish I did) I had a 70 calorie orange creme cicle, and no problems with it. What I am really struggling with is the no drinking during meals, I find myself with dry mouth post op so I always have a glass of water/crystal light around. It is so hard not to reach for the glass during the meal or right after. But I am working on it. I have noticed a change in appearance, nothing substantial, but heck I'm only out 17 days. I do tend to be a bit impatient........ This weekend could be a challenge, sat we may be going to a pig roast for a birthday, no one there knows and I don't feel like telling the story 80 times, but if I do not have a beer in my hand they will all think I am pregnant. Ugh so I may just have to pretend I am drinking. Then sunday we are going to see my husbands grandparents and take them out for their birthdays. Also, folks I don't feel like telling, number one because well people from that generation do not understand weight loss surg, and I don't feel like trying to explain myself 20 times because of hearing aids. But I also know his grandma will be pushing food on my like crazy so I may have to give in on that. Anywho, just though I would update things. I have found a routine, I am making my own protein shakes in the morning and saving the packaged ones for at work or on the go so I don't get too tired of them. I use half a banana, one scoop unflavored unjry, one container of 100cal greek yogurt(berry) and 1/3 cup skim milk and ice. Tastes great and good consistency. Plus its like 36grams of protien. Great start to the day. Till next time.....

I hit my first and only stall so far when I was about 6 days post op and I freaked out! I was on this site reading for months before I had surgery so I knew what to expect. It does not change how you react to a stall though. I think for the first couple months our bodies are going through so many things it is really hard not to get emotional about things especially weight. Fast forward 7 months, I have wrapped my mind around the numbers on the scale and why all the fluctuations. I weigh myself every morning and sometimes a couple times a day. The difference is that it is just a gauge for me. I don't take it to heart if I weigh one pound heavier one morning. I have seen myself gain a pound by exercising more intensely or eating something salty. Stalls suck for sure, but no one weighs herself as much as we do so any other person would never even notice the stall. Your intelligence will eventually win over the emotions.

Wow that is a lot of changes..wait until your looks and body start to change and you have trouble keeping up with it all. I know myself all the changes have been a surprise to me and rewarding as well..esp....the fact that no one recognizes me...love that one.....A whole new world for you outside the sleeve and a whole new world awaits you with the sleeve.. All the best!!!!!!!!!

Six months ago today marks the anniversary of a very important day. The day I put my foot in the Jordan River (metaphorically speaking, of course) and took a leap of faith. I decided to quit my extremely stressful, horrible, high-paying corporate job at a large wireless company, put my house on the market, had my last panic attack and jumped head first, heart open into my new life. Little did I know the changes that were in store for me, including the miracle of stumbling on to this surgery I'm about to undergo. I couldn't imagine then what I know now - happiness, serenity & peace. I don't know what the future holds but I do know this: I'm where I'm supposed to be and being guided by something greater and bigger than I could ever imagine. Don't get me wrong - it's not all roses, sunshine and butterflies, but I'm choosing to make the most of every day, despite the fact I'm selling my home, a business, a rental cabin, no full-time job (yet), a daughter that will be leaving the nest (most likely permanently) in a few weeks, a son who is starting his senior year of high school and no idea where I will land in a few months. What I DO have is faith - faith in me (after a very long time, tons of therapy, etc.), faith in my husband of 23+ years, faith in my weight loss (down 10 lbs. from high protein/low carbs in just a week!) and faith that a year from now I will be a completely different person. Just five more "sleeps" (as my kids used to say) until I check in the hospital. My husband asked me this morning if I was scared. I can honestly say I'm not. Just super excited to get rolling.

I just wish I had some restriction! This totally feels like a diet right now ... Have I failed? Why am I so hungry? Why don't I take smaller bites? Why don't I eat slower? Why can I still eat everything? My biggest question .... why do I keep reading other people's awesomely amazing experiences on here and think the same thing will happen to me... even when my surgeon is telling me that is not always how it works?!?!?! Here is an example: People on here who lose 40 pounds or more their first 6 weeks. My surgeon tells me: expect to lose less than 5 pounds in the first three months, then expect to lose 1 - 2 pounds a week after the three month mark (when proper restriction is reached). Here is another example: People on here who have restriction at 4 cc in their 10 cc band and they have "stuck" episodes, and they can barely eat five bites before they are satisfied. Here is my reality: I can eat anything and everything I want, no exceptions. Here is one more: People have restriction after one fill and live happily ever after. Here is what my surgeon tells me: I will need about three fills before I can feel restriction. I know ... it's individual, other people's experiences won't be mine. I know. But ... in every area in my life I'm a huge pessimist ... but with my lapband, I'm an optimist and I keep getting let down. I also know ... calm down, it's been 6 weeks and I've lost 14 pounds. That is better than 2 pounds a week. I need to keep repeating that to myself. Over and over and over and over and ....