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Haven’t blogged in a month, so this will be long. Today marks 12 weeks since surgery and 14 weeks since the beginning of the pre-op. I’ve lost 43 lbs since surgery and 53 lbs in total. I’m damn happy with that! How funny….at the end of that last sentence, I made a typo, and instead of an exclamation point, I typed a question mark. If that’s not my subconscious peeking through, I don’t know what is! No really, I’m happy. No way would I be at this point if I hadn’t had the surgery. I am impatient. I am dismayed that the weight loss is slowing a bit. But, I do find hope in knowing that if I apply myself, the losses will continue and time will pass and every little bit adds up to a lot. So much of weight loss is a mental game. This is the true test. To make sure that I stay the course, not just because eating healthfully is actually good for me, but because I cannot – will not – comfort myself with the wrong kinds of food. I will lose weight at exactly the rate that I am supposed to. Now, I take this time to analyze what I am responsible for. I believe that I am eating the proper way and that I am getting a balanced diet. I am tracking my food, another plus for me. I will be downloading my sparkpeople logs and submitting them to my NUT so that she can review and give feedback. I am taking my vitamins. I am definitely reaching my protein goals. I do not feel that I am under eating nor do I feel that I am overeating. What could I be doing better? I probably am not getting my fluids in. I am not tracking that, and how would I know for sure if I don’t track it? I am hiking 6 evenings a week, up the hills behind my house, for at least 30 minutes & sometimes longer. That is waaaaaay more than I used to do, so while I applaud myself for that, it is time to step it up again. And I have not been doing the strength training I should be doing. I do sometimes have the fear that I will be someone for whom this surgery only gets me half way to goal. Or that the weight loss will stop altogether. I remind myself frequently that there are still things that I am responsible for, and I have no choice but to take responsibility. I have this sleeve as a tool, I have been lucky that my body has taken so well to this surgery, and I also have a tremendous source of support in the resources my surgeon’s team provides. I can contact my NUT and exercise specialist any time I want. For the rest of my life I have these tools. What has changed for me since surgery that seems to be a Forever change for me now? Well, like I said, I am much more active. I am much more mobile and my balance is better. I love that because I can see evidence of things to come! As far as intake, I am still following a pretty pure, unprocessed, paleo type diet. I have had bread on about 2 occasions, in the form of ½ of those whole wheat skinny buns. Other than that, no bread, no rice, no pasta. No sugar! I am having fruit once a day and more vegetables than I was eating at the beginning of my diet progression. The sleeve has certainly relaxed, so I am being careful to do the protein first thing. That definitely does the trick for filling me up, and it gives me peace of mind that I have the ability (for the rest of my life!) to be in control of my appetite. I got the sleeve because there have been times in my life that I felt insanely hungry. Now I know that I just need to eat some good dense protein and I will not feel that way! No doubt if I ate slider foods (and I could now if I wanted) I could eat and eat and feel that out of control hunger and keep eating. So I love that I have that control measure. I ALWAYS eat the protein first. And often I find that one last bite, the one bite that would be the One Bite Too Many, I discretely spit into my napkin. I will not push myself and make myself sick. I’ve gotten over the whole clean-my-plate thing. I’ve had alcohol on a couple of occasions and have been fascinated to discover that I have become a one-drink-nurse-it-all-night kind of gal. I was never like that before. I always felt driven to be gluttonous with food and drink in my previous life, and I no longer feel that way. I am so happy about that! This is an amazing journey indeed. I am so very grateful to have been given this opportunity. Onward!

Anyone have any comments, ideas, thoughts or concerns about when to start exercising and what type of exercises to do post op in-order-to combat the post WLS sag? Please join the conversation and post your comments, ideas, thoughts or concerns here.

First of all, thank you for your comments and support. You have no idea how much that means to me. It makes me feel that I'm not alone and that people are rooting for me! SO! I got my first fill today. I had to sneak out of work to get it. I was very nervous and sweaty when I was called in the fill room. The first thing they did was weigh me. I gained 2 pounds in 2 weeks. SIGH. I thought I was going to get my fill from my surgeon, but it ended up being the PA. She is probably better at them anyways, so I was fine with that. But I think she was a bit annoyed with some of my questions. I asked if there was any chance this fill could be too much and i wouldn't be able to swallow anything. She said there was no chance of that because I was going to drink water before I left to make sure liquids at least go down. Then I asked if it was possible that I'd reach the perfect restriction level with just this one fill and she said there was no chance of that! She poked me with a needle to numb the area, which really hurt. And then she took the fill needle and started doing weird things to me. It felt sooo incredibly disgusting. It totally reminded me of getting a pap done! How weird is that?!?! It was not painful ... but there was tons of pressure where I didn't want pressure. My eyes were squeezed shut and I kept thinking "is it over, is it over". I could feel the liquid moving through my body (or at least I imagined I could). The whole process lasted less than 7 minutes. I had 4 cc put in my 10 cc band. It was weird and uncomfortable. But if it makes me skinny, then I'll make the sacrifice! I'm on liquids for 2 days, then mushies for 2 days, then back to normal after that. Meh .. what's normal ... I don't even know anymore!

Yesterday I signed consent papers and was instructed on the diet that will in effect "detox" my liver. Limited carbs, no sugar, avoid alcohol (gulp) and tons of protein. I can do this (I keep telling myself) but have some events coming up in the next 1 1/2 weeks that will be challenging. If I can get past those hurdles, I should be ok. Last night I spent time with a friend that had the sleeve 4 years ago. It was encouraging to have the support and she joined me in one last round of cocktails and chips and salsa to celebrate. The one thing she said that stuck out was how she wished she had journaled her experience so she could look back on it. I'm committing to doing that on this forum so I can remember the big and small things. I also came home with 3 huge containers of protein shakes, vitamins, etc. from the Center and filled my prescription for some surgery day meds I will be taking. Now counting the days until I check in - 10 days to go.

I am Finally On The Other Side..I am now Post-Op. August 8th I awoke, cool as a cucumber. Today was the day that my life would forever change. Today was the day that I would be getting my vertical sleeve gastrectomy. When I arrived at the hospital at 530AM I was quickly greeted and prepped for surgery and asked a gazillion questions. My husband waited with me until 7AM when I was swept off to the OR. As I sat on the operating table I saw my refection through the mirrored light. Goodbye old friend I said to myself. I prayed silently the prayer that my daughter and I say every night together "Now I lay me down to sleep" and before I knew it I was in LaLa land. Next thing I knew I awoke. Ughhh the GAS. More pain killers Please. I stayed in ICU over night where I was bothered every hour or so to get up and walk to the bathroom. 5 more minutes I pleaded like a teenager. I was so incredibly naseaus but scared to death to vomit that I didnt want to move much. The few times I did get up I had to stop myself from getting sick. Finally the next morning I did my Barium swallow to check for leaks. As yucky as that stuff was it felt soooo nice going down my dry sore throat! Everything looked great and I finally got to meet my new stomach on the utrasound machine. Like a new momma seeing her unborn baby during an ultrasound..It looked like a little jelly bean..awe so cute lololol. When the moved me to a new room I was Incredibly nauseous from the wheel chair ride. The room smelled like food or I was just HYPER sensitive. I quickly realized 1 day Post-op that it was the pain killers making me so sick. So I decided to forgo the meds! I felt much better after that. I took a few sips of chicken broth but as I stared at my bottles of water piling up from meal trays I really wanted nothing at all I began walking the halls but really just wanted to go home to my kids ang husband. The gas was still horrible. So bad that it felt like it was all the way up to my throat. On day 3 I put on my makeup brushed my hair and I was out the door. As I emerged from the hospital in my wheel chair I felt like a new person, it was my rebirth. My husband greeted me at the door and helped me to the car. On the way home every bump in the road hurt since I was no longer on pain meds. When I got home I was welcomed by my two girls who were sooo excited to see me they were pulling on my dress.. Mommy I missed you..up up. It was heart breaking that after being away from them for 3 days I couldnt scoop them up and smoothing them with kisses. I layed on the couch and tried to rest as they climbed all over me, kissing me : ) I ate nothing and vowed to start the following day with my Isopures. First day home I started my Isopures at 9am sipping slowly. I went to my parents so the kids could go in the pool and my parents were cooking dinner for everyone. I showered, put on makeup, slipped into a sundress, dryed my hair and we were off. It felt great to look like a normal person again. My parents said I looked great, like I never had surgery. I spent the day hanging out and sipping on my isopure. By 10Pm that Isopure was only 3/4's of the way finished. Never mind chicken broth or anything else. I couldnt even finish that with a full days effort. When I weight myself I had gained 11 pounds since my pre-op surgery day weigh in. I knew it was from all the gas and fluids in the hospital but called the nurse to check. A few days later i was down for a total of 17 lbs since i started my pre-op diet. People were already saying how I look like I lost weight. 6 Days post-op was my daughters 3rd birthday party. I got in my car and we drove to the mall/movie theather. We walked around the malI and she picked out 1 special gift! We saw a movie and headed home. I wasnt up to having a full 4 hour dinner party so we just did cake and coffee. 30 people arrived at my house. I felt great! I was running around like I was back to my old self. Cutting cake, serving coffee, helping my little one blow out her candles and open presents! I was a little sore after the night was over but that was understandable. So here I am 7 days post -op. I was 230 lbs the day before my pre-op diet started. As of last night I weighed 213lbs. Later on today I have my 1 week post-op appointment wih Dr. Barkan. I pray he puts me on full liquids. Missing my Protein shakes and yogurts!!!

I had my first fill today and it wasn't fun. I have two bruises and two bandages over my port. I had to get them standing up. I am going to try to work with the fill i received so that I can stay away from being prodded with that big darn needle. I was livid when I saw that I only lost 3.2 pounds but now that I think about it. I dont feel bad about it. I look great in my old clothes and I can go down stairs without sweating. I was told to stop with the bread, rice and pasta.. I had my hand slapped for that one. I was also told to exercise five days a week for at least an hour. so starting next week that is my new goal.

II am very happy with True Results to fix my port at their costs. My procedure will be on Thursday this week and 11am. I have to be their for the procedure at 10am....http://tinkrisegrind.blogspot.com/2013/08/revision-happy-with-true-results.html