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SO Here is my motivation list. Things I will do when I get to my goal weight. Skiing with no boot extenders Ride a rollercoaster comfortably Tan out by the pool Learn to salsa dance Go to an actual zumba class Experiement with different sex positions Go hiking and not feel like dying Not be the biggest person in the room Fit back into my little black dress Looking awesome on the back of a bike Go to the gym and not feel self consious Buy clothes that arent in the plus size Get lingerie See my ex when I'm 100pds lighter Walk up my steps without getting winded

An amazing thing is happening. For the first time in my life, I can honestly say, "I don't give a s h i t what other people think." Perhaps it's because I'm another year older today, and on birthdays one is wont to take stock. Perhaps it's because I am feeling the empowerment than accompanies true change. Perhaps it's because I'm finally realizing I have people in my life who love me unconditionally, or that I now know I am deserving of that love. Perhaps it is all of these. What I do know is I've said that phrase many times before, at times very convincingly, but I never meant it. I wanted to mean it, others even believed that I meant it because I come across as irreverent and impossible to embarrass, but there was always a motivational undercurrent of wanting to be liked. The following is a list of notions I've recently come to accept as valid. Some are mere reminders to myself, some are rants, some are missives directed at specific people on this site. All are liberating: I am not required to tell anyone about my decision to have weight loss surgery. Should I choose to do so, I have no obligation to explain or defend my decision. I am justified in flipping off another driver when the egotistical delusions acquired from watching "The Fast and the Furious" momentarily override his cognizance of the fact that he is operating a deadly weapon. I may express my offense when someone implies I should be ashamed of the way I look, or used to look. I am permitted to be impolite, even rude, to a man whose words or actions are causing me to feel uncomfortable or unsafe. I am allowed to inflict physical harm if his clear intention is to harm me. I am free to voice my belief that it is not all right for people posting in the general forum to attribute their weight loss to a higher power. If I attributed mine to Obama or the recent supreme court ruling on gay marriage, and put that post in a general discussion forum, I would be criticized. And rightfully so. I have a right to discuss the increase in my libido on an internet forum, as well as the conundrum I'm faced with as a single teacher in a small town, without being accused of advertising for sex. And should someone attempt to shame me out of talking about sex, I have a right to stand firm in my refusal to be shamed. I am allowed to call people out for misusing this and other support sites; for not following the rules, which have been clearly laid out; and I am allowed to do so without being subjected to ridicule and insult. I am not required to dumb myself down because others are intimidated by my intelligence. I also am allowed to state that others are intimidated by my intelligence without apologizing or prefacing such a remark with a qualifier or self-deprecating damper such as "This is probably going to sound egotistical, but...." when I have a higher than average IQ. It is also true that I am endlessly disheartened by the dissolution of the English language, have won awards for performance and writing, and am, on the whole, infinitely more impressed with the emotional intelligence of animals over that of people. None of these statements require compensation. I do not have to remain passive when others make remarks that are sexist, racist, ageist, homophobic, heterosexist, xenophobic, misogynistic, violently aggressive, indicative of body fascism, or convey intolerance of mental illness, mental retardation, or other disability. I deserve to be treated with dignity. And if you don't agree with me, I really don't care. Honestly. And it feels so f u c k i n g good to say that.

We make soup today! Shrimp Bisque and Chicken & Mushroom, both pureed. I don't know how to shop or cook for small meals. I barely have pots in the house small enough for our new meals. I take out the cauliflower I bought. I picked the smallest one at the market. The WLS Surgery recipe calls for 1 cup for four people. That's about a fourth of the entire dang cauliflower. What am I supposed to do with the rest? The chicken soup recipe calls for 1/2 lb of chicken. I have no idea what size pot I need to cook that little chicken. I've been cooking for a family since I was 14, and here I am at 47, I can't guesstimate the right pot size for so little food. I've been telling R he will have to stop going to Costco but I don't think he quite believed me until he saw the proportions of food we're cooking. Forget Costco, I think I may need to start buy veggies at the Salad bar instead of at the grocery! And after all that? I eat 2 oz and R can get in 4 oz of the soup before we're too full for more! Friends want to come visit to check on us. We start to clean the house and to cook something for them. After several hours of whirl winding around, we are SO tired that my tummy hurts. R is cranky and over-sensitive and has to go lie down after he loses it with the kids and me over nothing. The hormone thing is doing a whammy on him for sure. We give him hugs and reassure him we still love him, and then sit down to eat as a family. I decide we will have to let our friends know we are not up for company yet. We're really, really not. At all. We may not hurt, but we tire easily and then we get cranky. Need to tread slowly still. R and I go to lie down in our bed at 1 pm. The kids follow as does the dog. We spend the rest of the day hanging about together, all of us on our computers, chatting occasionally, resting, reading, and playing with the dog. From time to time, I get up to make food/snacks for the kids, and R gets up to make our soups. THIS is how you recover on a Saturday after surgery my friends. Soul-food time, with no food, just love to feed your soul. And a little soup maybe.

This is how it happened with me and and my husband. I told him I was doing it, and asked for his help in encouraging me to stay on plan. What resonated with him was I said I had no idea how long I would live, but I intended to spend that time as a thin person, able to do things I wanted to before I died. He realized he wanted the same thing. I can NOT tell you how beneficial it has been to have a buddy go through it at the same time. We did our pre-op together, we had surgery the same day, and now we're recovering together. We can support each other, we can share experiences, and we can take care of each other. I don't know if your sister lives close by, but it would be so good for both of you to be able to help each other through this, even if she lives far away.

TOSS THE BOX!!! I had the same problem. It is still hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that I have gotten rid of clothes that were too big that used to be my 'I'll get into those someday" clothes. I am almost through all of those and am fixing to be in uncharted waters, or at least I haven't been in them in years. You won't need them again. Ever. Get rid of them and make some room for the new stuff that will be finding it's way in!

I was truly surprised to see the calorie difference between 4oz. of 93% hamburger and 85% hamburger. Almost 110 calories per 4oz.! Even though the 93% costs about $1 per lb more, I've noticed that, after cooking, the amount of cooked hamburger is almost the same between the two. There's so much shrinkage, that they are pretty much the same in cost in the end. So I think I'll spend the extra dollar per pound and save 110 calories. I thought it might be enlightening to grab some common calorie counts for ground beef, chicken and turkey and compare them side-by-side. Click on the pics to enlarge them. Standard Disclaimer: This is by no means the definitive numbers for these products. The numbers vary depending on the manufacturer. These numbers are presented to make you aware of the differences in calorie counts and fat content. You can find much more specific details by manufacturer or by food group by searching this database: http://caloriecount....oods&searchpro= George Carlin's Advertising Disclaimer: No cash? No problem! No kidding! No fuss, no muss, No risk, no obligation, no red tape, no down payment, No entry fee, no hidden charges, no purchase necessary, No one will call on you, no payments or interest till September. Limited time only, though, so act now, order today, send no money, Offer good while supplies last, two to a customer, each item sold separately, Batteries not included, mileage may vary, all sales are final, Allow six weeks for delivery, some items not available, Some assembly required, some restrictions may apply. So come on in for a free demonstration and a free consultation with our friendly, professional staff. Our experienced and knowledgeable sales representatives will help you make a selection that's just right for you and just right for your budget. And say, don't forget to pick up your free gift: a classic deluxe custom designer luxury prestige high-quality premium select gourmet pocket pencil sharpener. Yours for the asking, no purchase necessary. It's our way of saying thank you. And if you act now, we'll include an extra added free complimentary bonus gift at no cost to you: a classic deluxe custom designer luxury prestige high-quality premium select gourmet combination key ring, magnifying glass, and garden hose, in a genuine imitation leather-style carrying case with authentic vinyl trim. Yours for the asking, no purchase necessary. It's our way of saying thank you.

Congratulations on getting the band and starting a new journey. Are you getting enough protein in at every meal? Protein makes you full longer. I am far from perfect and never thought of eating anything not on my post op list because I was afraid I would do damage. Today is a new day, forget yesterday. Maybe Monday call your dietitian and ask for help.