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The night before surgery....I kept myself busy and finally at 11 dropped from exhaustion.....and slept like a baby until the alarm went off at 4 a.m. I was in the OR, getting prepped for surgery, asked for something for nausea in my IV, we had a few laughs, and the next thing I know, I'm happily waking up in recovery... My eye sight was blurry for hours after the surgery....and as soon as they let me, I walked...blurry eye sight or not.....the fear of gas pain was my motivator, I walked as often and as far as they'd let me....and continued walking every hour starting the 1st day after surgery. When I was finally in a room (long delay), I felt utterly helpless and useless....like a beetle on its back. I'm not a fan of pain killers......don't experience pain like most people....I only took something late at night (not sure I needed it, but thought it couldn't hurt and sleep was important.) Morning came early, and the first thing I did was pee and walk...I don't think people knew what to make of me walking at 5:30 in the morning, so I just smiled and said good morning.....had the dreaded leak test this morning (wasn't so bad)....found it.hard to sip my liquids today, but wasn't too worried because I'm hooked to an IV......they are giving me prilosec in my IV, and I've never had nausea. I am sore, but not in any real pain. The only pain is when I breath in deep. The biggest problem I'm facing is high blood pressure.....it's all over the map.....so they are giving me something for that.....6 hours later we finally see a break. Day 2.....time to go home! Yeeha! so sick of being hooked up to an IV and having my pee measured and BP taken LOL The first thing I do is get up for my early morning walk.........and surprised how much easier it is to get up and out of that bed....wow! They give me another dose for my blood pressure.....will have my blood pressure checked on Monday with my PCP...may have to go on blood pressure medicine until some of this weight is gone (I've never been on BP meds before) I was dreading the self injections.....did that this morning, and it wasn't so bad. UPDATE: I did have a drain, and that for a brief second or two hat was some intense pain when it was take out---but again, very brief. I haven't experienced the gas pains yet....hoping all that walking worked it out....but I'm still walking..... I've experienced my restriction...took one little sip too many and felt it.....luckily it was a tiny sip and went away quickly. UPDATED: this pain I'm experiencing is a spasm, not a restriction....will try warm liquids and see how it goes. Now that I'm home, my arms are killing me.....I figure one is from the IV....no idea about the other....my IV was in my hand, and my hand is a little swollen and sore. I was told the priority and goal in the next few days is to get down the isopure (1/2 bottle mixed with water).....finding it difficult, but I sip as much as I can (I found in the hospital juice and broth went down much easier LOL) I haven't gained weight from the hospital (yet anyway) but I am swollen around the mid section. Right now I'm feeling rather fortunate....have not had a WTH did I do moment. I'm so thankful to have a wonderful man by my side for support. The things I packed that I used....a pillow (only for the ride home)....a maxidress w/o anything at the waist was great for going home with a cami underneath...a note pad/pen for notes/questions for when the doctor came in...my own tooth brush/paste, hiar brush, eye glass case, and my cell phone to check in with VST and for my email. I know this is just the first step in a life long journey, but rather than anxious as I have been, I'm looking forward to the ride.....

Okay, here are a few things I want to do once I reach my weight goal. wear a bikini. walk in high heels comfortably. do a marathon run/walk for a charity. to be able to run around and play with my little sister without being out of breath or lack of energy. be more confident. to stop hiding behind my laptop and enjoy life. to look and the mirror and be happy with what I see. to go to my high school reunion as the new me. to go back to school and be able to fit in those awful desk. to do a cycling class to be healthy I've got a long way to go before I reach any of those goals but for right now I have smaller goals that are achievable for right now. Refer to my blog before this blog. I think a list of goals can be helpful especially if you are serious about reaching them.

Dealing With Stalls Just be patient. I know it's frustrating when the scale doesn't move. I'm on week 11 and I've had at least 3 different weeks where the scale doesn't move for 7 days, then I'll mysteriously be down 2 - 3 pounds overnight. Your body is just acclimating to the lower calorie intake and sometimes it is holding onto every calorie, trying to replace the glycogen stores in the muscles. I don't have a formula for getting the scale moving again, but I do try to mix things up to keep my body from getting used to a set pattern. I walk a little extra, up my vegetable intake, or eat low carb for a day or two to see how my body will react. I was eating pistachio nuts and sunflower seeds last week and EEEEEKKKKKK! I gained 2 lbs that week. Monday I went back to basics of eating my refried beans and chicken (eating 4oz every 2 hours), this morning I've lost the extra 2 lbs plus another 1lb. For the 1st time in 4 years I'm under 310lbs.

When pre-sleeved, I wondered what it was going to feel like right after the surgery. i read everything I could, but I still wanted more, more, more. I'm writing about my experiences to give back to the community that helped me prepare for this surgery. It's a very long post but hopefully it answers some questions about what we might go through, physically, mentally and emotionally. I'm 5'6, HW 230, SW 222, CW 215.4 and I'm 47 years old. Day of Surgery (Friday) I find myself calm, not nervous and ready and prepared thanks to hours spent on this site. I move to a gurney where they inject me, and the next thing i know I'm waking up and there's an oxygen mask on my nose.I keep trying to take it off, and they tell me not to, that I need the oxygen. I fight it a little. Finally, I say I know I'm not supposed to take it off, but I need to breathe, I'll put it back. The doctor checks on me and sees me fighting it, and says it's okay to take it off. I tell them I'm nauseated and they give me something. I feel so little pain that in my dream state, I keep waking up from a half-sleep thinking, Oh I have to go to surgery today. And then my brain reminds me it's already over. I can't believe it. My husband comes out of his surgery and once he is awake, I make him walk with me. We push our IVs along, marveling at how okay we feel. I'm okay, he's not so great. He's nauseated his chest feels tight, but there's not too much pain. We walk all day in little bits. My mouth is dry but I rinse it several times, and use my chapstick. We're fine. Night-time is not fun. Nurses in and out every two hours, injecting one or the other of us. R has really bad heartburn so I'm trying to take care of him. We get through the night. First Day Post-Op (Saturday) Cannot WAIT for the ice chips! such a gourmet treat! They arrive and we find we can't really eat them as we should. Two little ice chips and it feels like you have an elephant on your chest. R is worrying about shoulder and chest pain, and I assure him it's not a heart-attack, just gas pains, and keep walking. I nap a lot. He sneaks out and overdoes the walking and increases his pain. But the doc says his gut sounds better than mine, and to keep in mind that pain & symptoms don't mean a poor recovery. I wonder how the heck we'll ever consume 64 oz of fluid. Second Day Post Op (Sunday) Time to go home. We get a bottle of grape juice. Yum! but again, can't imagine how I will finish that little 8 oz bottle. We drive for 12 hours today. Well, I drive. R sleeps the whole time, which is how his body recovers from anything he ever has. I'm happy to be able to do this for him. We stop in Austin to see my son, try to drink some Unjury chicken. The warm soup feels good. We sleep for an hour and I'm refreshed enough to drive home. Keep trying to drink, probably didn't even get in 16 oz this day. That night, I force the fluids and I'm miserable. Walking up and down the hallways after a long day. I realize this is a lesson. If I ever overdo the food, this is what it's going to feel like. No bueno. This is my "WTF did I just do?" day. Thanks to this forum, I know that's common and I let the emotions come. Third Day Post Op (Monday) Lots of sleeping going on but guess what? We can drink easier now! At least 38-40 oz today including a Nectar Fuzzy Navel! I'm amazed at the progress in just three days. I stop the pain pills. R is cranky and depressed today.We're arguing about stupid sh*t. I tell him it's the hormones, the trauma, the lack of calories and carbs and that it will all be okay. I do 20 mins on a stationary cycle, R walks the dog a mile. Now my brain shifts to the big changes. Such as, if I'm not always thinking of food, what am I going to do with that spare time? I kid you not. My existential crisis? What the hell am I going to pin on Pinterest now if not recipes?? I realize front and center food has been in my life and am so grateful we were able to get this surgery. Fourth Day Post Op (Tuesday) Feeling like a pro today! I forget I've had surgery and gulp. Ouch. But a shake, an unjury chicken soup, egg drop soup, 2 G-2s, and 2 popsicles! Yay me! So of course, now that is good, I'm the weepy one today. There's nothing wrong, I just want to cry. But I don't cry easily so even though I try, I can't cry . No pain, all good. R gets energy back. I'm not there yet and want to sleep. We go out to get something, I'm exhausted. But I do 2 ten minute sessions on the stationary bike. We try Chike with caffeine. Mistake. Feel sick. Today I make an important decision. In the past, I've always focused on the outcome. Was I losing weight? No? Then let me change my diet AGAIN. How about now? No? So what if it's only been 4 days I better change again. This time, I will not do that. There's a plan here. 800 calories, 80 gms of protein, less than 50 of carbs, 64 oz of water, and walking/cycling. That's it. Until I hit goal, that's the plan. Focus on the plan and the results will follow. I know this from reading others' experiences. I decide to focus on my actions and let go of the outcome. Big move for a control freak I tell R that now that I am not constantly searching for the best diet, the superfoods, the one ultimate way to lose weight, It has freed up so much psychic energy, that I'm shocked at how much of my time I had devoted to obsessing about my weight. I chose the best way for me. The time to stop looking is over. Time to start DOING. Fifth Day Post Op (Wednesday) Liquids not a problem. Protein not a problem. Can you believe that? It's only day 5 but we're getting all liquids in. What a change. I can NOT stay awake and sleep from 9:30 am - 12:30 pm though. Work intrudes and I take 3 meetings over the phone. Couldn't have done that without the nap. I feel energized. We go out to run and errand and go to the grocery store to buy ingredients for soup which we will start on Saturday while the kids are home. The grocery is full of sample ladies and although I rarely ate samples, it's a different feeling when you can't. I feel different to everyone around me. I realize that I'm different from the others around me in one more new way, but it's a way that doesn't show, unlike my skin, my weight, my ethnicity. It makes me feel like I'm harboring a secret. Weird feeling. I am happy I'll be able to cook again. I make my son an omelet with cheese, and I find I'm a little tempted but not bad. But I've had food dreams all day today. I want a grilled cheese sandwich with the crisp outer crust and the gooey cheese, I want tomato soup, I want chicken kebabs, I want, I want. I drink my shake. I will do nothing to compromise my recovery. Sixth Day Post Op (Thursday) The day has just started who knows what awaits, but R has lost 20 lbs in 3 weeks, and I've lost 15 lbs. Last time I lost 15 lbs it took 6 months of clean eating and walking 4 miles a day. I'll take this! I now believe that I will lose the weight. I was sure I was going to be that freak of nature that couldn't lose it because I only lost 6 lbs on 2 weeks of pre-op, but now I believe. Today we will do our liquids, our protein, our walk/cycle and tomorrow will be a better day. My next goal? Visualize myself thin, and be able to see myself wearing cute clothes and start pinning those on Pinterest. Not there yet. What a difference six days can make!

I have 5 days until my surgery!!!!! Im so anxious to have it done already...it feels as though this process has been sooo long!! I have finally realized something...I am on my liquid diet btw..yesterday I was talking to my fiancé and I asked him if I could cheat just a little on the diet...and he told me something that I now hear in my head every time I want to cheat.."You have cheated your whole life, its time to buckle down cause things are changing!!" Im blessed to have such a wonderful man in my life who supports my every move. I heard him and I thought to myself...he's so right, I have ate pizza at late hours with extra cheese, extra pepperoni, I have eaten out for days eating junk and greasy food, I drank pop whenever I wanted to and never thought about the consciences...but now is my chance to move forward to grow out of that to help myself in becoming the better ME I can be for my Fiancé and most of all for my DAUGHTER!! I don't want her to have to see me as a diabetic or with high blood pressure and have to worry about me taking pills or having to be on insulin..i want her to know me as active and healthy I want to chase her around and take her for walks and not feel out of breath because I jogged a little..These next 5 days cant come any faster!! I am so ready to start my Journey with the lapband

Talked with the surgeon yesterday. I am good to go. I had some extra blood work and talked to the anesthesiologist about being under for a set of shots i can't remember the name of. (He was attractive, but married...doh!) My unflavored Unjury powder came in. It's a little odd but my other protein is worse. I'm kinda nervous, kinda scared.

A little over 6 months post op and I can feel some unusual things happening. I am starting to think like a thin person. It was a slow, gradual change for me. What I mean when I am starting to think like a thin person is that I no longer dwell on things that I ate that wasn't in my perfect vision of my "diet". Pre-surgery (actually a few months even after surgery), if I ate something that wasn't on my envisioned list of allowed foods, then I would just get all emotional about it. I would dwell on it. I would have it in my head that I messed up and I was a failure. I would allow one "naughty" food to dictate my entire days' worth of eating. It was a form of sabotage, and it would set me into a cycle. I would eat, get depressed, and feel like a failure and then eat again. Slowly, but surely I began to allow myself to eat things that weren't on my perfect diet list. I found that even on those days when I had something like crackers or something else that I didn't think would help my weight loss I still lost weight. Some times I even found that it helped my weight loss when I was in a stall. Other times it helped my work outs progress. I guess what I am trying to say is that I ate something naughty and found out that my world didn't end. I didn't gain weight over night, I didn't look in the mirror and see an extra roll of fat, and other people didn't look at me and see that I "cheated". Slowly over time, my mind started to grasp this concept and started transforming. I feel a lot better about food. I don't rely on it as much. I am not afraid of it as much. All these emotions are not tied up to it as much. If one day I have a craving that I just can't shake, like m&ms...I have a few. The difference is I have a FEW and not the whole bag. I savor the taste and then move on. One little craving doesn't end up costing me days and eventually months of over eating and unhealthy eating. As a fat person, I was so hung up on food. Every thought of my day was tied to food. Am I over eating? Was that too much weight? Is this too much carbs? As a fat losing person, I eat normally. If I feel I might have eaten a little too much I just try to balance it out by moving more throughout the day. I think I am finally finding some balance. My anxiety has come down a whole lot now that I am not constantly obsessing over every aspect of food or eating.

Well, I made it through my first day! It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I guess I just feel kind of tired but nothing too bad. I'm so ready for these 2 weeks to be over so I can have my surgery and be on my way. This morning on my way to work I felt the first little bit of anxiety over my surgery but I know that's normal and it passed as soon as I started of thinking of all the positives. I'm so excited to have my surgery. Aug. 5....can't wait!