hi roo and rita! wow, alot of similarities; i am so proud of all you've come through roo! it's astonishing what truly resilient creatures we are, is it not? i too am 43, have PCOS with all the joys that can usher into one's existence, and am near your starting weight. i have fairly recently reached this same epiphanic moment you describe and am also seriously contemplating the sleeve procedure. it took me the better part of a decade to have my miracle baby - now a leaping 2.5 er - and that journey was fraught with more loss and pain than i imagined possible. so i think i can probably contend with the challenges ahead, but the very thought of an irreversible procedure to a major organ does fill me with all kinds of terror and misgiving! i am having the surgery consult this coming tuesday; to be honest i had no idea i would even gain access to a surgeon this rapidly, and i haven't discussed this yet with anyone beyond my husband (briefly). i am in canada and would have to wait many years for an insured procedure as the waiting list is long and is prioritized from the heaviest patient down, so this will most likely be self-pay, thereby adding a whole new level of stress (and i guess investment)! pleasure to meet you, and i look forward to our journey - xo shimmer