Leaderboard

This lapband journey has had its ups and downs already and I'm still waiting to be banded. Finishing with the nutritionist tomorrow and then a surgery date and insurance approval and then I'm home free....so they tell me. It's been some journey so far. An experience in every aspect. First, the decision to do this...years in the making...and what a decision it is...lots of research, lots of reading, and lots of questions. Then, came the testing...the poking, the prodding, the multitude of appts and doctors and hoops to jump through. What came of it all...luckily, I'm "healthier" than I thought for being morbidly obese....or maybe I should say that my luck hasn't run out yet! And happily, I've begun to make some new friends on this journey of mine! Just when I'm on a roll and feeling positive a flood of negativity and fear comes flooding in from just one thread on this site. It was disheartening and more than anything else...SCARY!!!! So, I've decided the following..... ...I'm moving forward with positive thoughts ...I have a 2nd appt with my surgeon to ask every question that has come up since my 1st appt...and there are many!! ...I will continue to follow the positive, successful, and supportive members here who really want to help....YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!...AND I THANK YOU ALL AGAIN! ...I will continue to educate myself and ask as many questions as I want! From all this I've learned I have the right to question and question and question some more....and not to feel bad about it. I've learned that unfortunately there are naysayers who dont want to share "opinions" and tell there story--they want to breed fear. :ph34r: I've learned I will not be a part of that again. I've learned to stop doubting myself to the point of panic setting in. I'VE LEARNED TO BELIEVE IN ME...SOMETHING I HAVEN'T DONE FOR WAAAY TOO LONG! :wub:

I was reading the forum today and read a reply to a post about snacking that said “It’s okay to be hungry.” This got me thinking (I know scary, huh?!) Do I really know what true physical hunger feels like? Hunger where you don’t know if or when you will eat again….. Pain and discomfort from malnutrition and dehydration. I have never experienced true physical hunger. But, I’m the first to say I am sooooo hungry. Why? Was it the way I was raised? Society? Or what? Before my band food was everything. I would plan every meal to the tee and as soon as the meal was over I was talking/planning the next meal. Breakfast at 8am, lunch at noon, afternoon snacks/cocktails at 5pm and dinner at 7pm. My belly alarm would go off at each time and I would say I’m hungry. I was obsessed with my meals and eating. Food had all the control. Fast forward 18 months and I have the control back (for the most part). Yes I still eat on the same schedule. This is a personality flaw for me, very organized and schedule oriented. It drives some people crazy. The difference is that I know this is a trigger for my head hunger and I don’t let that “I’m hungry” feeling take over. I know when I’m going to eat, I know how much I’m going to eat and I know what types of foods I’m going to eat. So, yes it’s okay to be hungry. But, my head hunger will not control me, I will control it!

(sing to the tune from "Love Boat") The Love Poop soon will be making another run The Love Poop promises something for everyone Set a course for adventure, Your mind on a new roll of toilet paper! OMG! You are truly my kind of gassy crab. :-)

OK so here's what I went with (FA = Future of America, M = Me): FA: Ms. Diamond, how was your surgery? M: I'm feeling fine, thank you! FA: What did you have surgery on? M: Oh, I had some things removed. It's kinda gross and you don't want to know about it. FA: OK. (pause) What did you have removed? Your eyeballs? Can you see us? Are those fake eyeballs? Yeah, I think one's falling out! M: No. FA: But really, what did you have removed? M: My testicles That shut 'em up.

Omg! I really needed to read this...I'm having melt down after melt down. I meeting with my dr. Aug 1st for Pre- surgery appt. (surgery date Aug. 19) and have gained 10 lbs. since last month. So afraid he's gonna kick me out. I' m yelling at my daughter, she's 23 so she knows her mother is a blithering idiot when under duress. I'm griping at the dogs and cats and my husband just shakes his head. All of a sudden this life change stuff has really hit home and all my excitement has turned into a big mess - ME! On a more serious note... Since my psych EVAL, I decided to keep weekly appts. With my psychologist for support up to the big day. Also, I have severe fibromyalgia and she's working with me with my pain with biofeedback,etc. We discussed mood stabilizers like LAMECTIL - so is anyone on depression meds now? Does the new tummy accept them? Please, anyone?

Tell them you had a hernia repair or your gallbladder out. Or whatever you are comfy with..

Post-op life has been incredible so far. Even when I was in the hospital right after surgery, I was so positive. I was so thankful to the nurses, doctors and hospital staff - and I told them so endlessly - that many of them told me that I was the sweetest patient they'd had in a long time. Why? Because I was so thankful to be alive, to be doing okay (in pain, but no complications), to have them helping me, to know that IT WAS DONE... I just couldn't help but want to thank each of them so much for being there to help me through the hardest part (first few days post op). It was wonderful. Through all the pain and discomfort, I was guided by the idea that this is exactly what I wanted. I was exactly where I wanted to be. It was only gonna get BETTER from there. And it has. SO MUCH!!!! So, last Thursday was my 12 weeks post op. My stats: High weight: 459 Surgery date: 417 Today: 370. In 11 more lbs, I'll be at 100lbs down. And my high weight is from November 2012, so in LESS THAN A YEAR (cuz I know 11lbs will be coming off soon) I will have lost 100lbs. This surgery is my miracle. And I am an agnostic cynic who doesn't really believe in miracles. At my highest weight, it was impossible for me to have any sense of fashion or feeling cute in clothes. All my pants had to be ordered online and were usually somewhat ill-fitting. Almost all my clothes were bought from catalogs because plus size store tops were just too snug, even in the highest size. About 6 yrs ago was the last time I was able to buy pants at a store. Tops were okay, but jeans/pants were too small. Well, now just about everything I have is way too big. So, I started pulling clothes out of "the archives" a few weeks ago. I had held on to some of my nicer work clothes from Lane Bryant from about 5-6 yrs ago when I could still fit in them. Now, even those are all getting too big. The smallest size I remember being in my adult life is 26/28 and 12 weeks post op IT'S TOO BIG. I still find it so hard to believe! Well, I went clothes shopping this weekend. I waltzed into the Lane Bryant outlet and grabbed a pair of 28 jeans thinking "I'm sure all my old clothes are stretched out/worn in. So we'll see just how much more I have to lose before these brand new ones will fit", guessing that I'd get them pulled up but would have trouble buttoning them. Wrong. More like "Um, Miss, can you get me a 26?" A 26!!!!! And yes, I realize this is still big. I have a long way to go still, but just the idea of buying something in a store - something smaller than I would have bought even 5 years ago - it blows my mind!!! I got a bunch of cute tops in size 22/24 - and by the end of summer THOSE will be too big because they are already just a tiny bit big in the shoulder area. Anyway, aside from the clothes shopping (which I always LOVED back when I could actually shop in stores, so it kinda made me giddy to be able to do it again!) - I also have some NSVs. I've started parking on the 3rd floor in the parking garage at work. I was on the 2nd and would take the stairs every day. There are 5 floors, so I want to work my way up. Not sure how long it will take, but I just want to be able to do it! I can cross my legs at the knee. My thighs are still so huge (UGH), but small enough that I can cross my legs, and I was NEVER really able to do that comfortably in my LIFE. I moved my seat up in my car about 2 inches. Never thought that would be something I'd have to do because I'm almost 6 ft tall, but without my gut (well, with LESS of a gut) I felt a mile away from the steering wheel! I no longer fear any chair. Sometimes arms with chairs were just too tight and I couldn't sit in them. Now, I don't have that problem. Next challenge - sitting in a booth at a restaurant! this last one may sound snarky - but I have an overweight friend who's been acting a lil jealous of me lately because my weight loss is getting noticeable. I'm REALLLY close (if not already there, really), to being smaller than her. I've ALWAYS been the biggest friend. Always. I know that may sound petty - but I am just so sick of being the fattest person in my family, at work, in the store, of my friends - I have always been the fattest person... and now - I'm not! however that comes across, there is something about that fact that makes me proud of what I've accomplished! And last but not least - I met a guy. He's a really good one, too - so far. I haven't shared all my secrets with him or anything, it's still really new. But I do thoroughly enjoy him and want to see where this could go. It's got some potential! I haven't had the confidence to date in YEARS, and I go on this one blind date and am lucky enough to meet a really great guy. Another miracle? I dunno. Maybe I've been overdue for some miracles in my life! lol Anyway, that's about all I got to share at this point. Hope everyone else is doing well out there, too! <3 <3