Leaderboard

My wife was going to Walmart yesterday, and texted me at work to ask if I needed anything. I said 'new clothes and sneakers'. I wasn't expecting her to actually buy me anything, but she asked what size pants I was wearing now. I had to close my office door so that I could check the size of the jeans I'm currently wearing. I told her they are a 36 and would fall down without a belt. I never even realized that I was wearing a 36 until I checked yesterday. These are old jeans I still had in my drawer from years ago, and are the only ones that aren't ridiculously big on me now. She asked me what size I was wearing when I was at my biggest. I said that I never really knew my 'true' size. I was wearing 42 or 44, but was wearing them under the belly, not at the belly like you're supposed to, so was probably bigger. She picked me up 4 pairs of shorts, in 34. I thought 'no way are these going to fit'. Well, guess what - they did! I haven't been a 34 in probably 17 years, I'm guessing. Can't believe I've come this far in only 4 months! This is the best thing I've ever done for myself (besides marrying my wife).

This summer has been so crazy that time has flown by! Now I am only a few days out. This all hit me this week and I began to panic. So I had a little pep talk with my friend who had the sleeve over 3 years ago. She made me feel so much better! I have been freaking out all week! I have strict orders to call her when I freak out the next few days. She has done great with it and lost tons of weight and says she feels better now than when she was in her 20s. She did mention that after about 18 months she started to slip with diet. She could eat whatever she wanted and more than ever before. She said she is still battling with sweets and sodas. She never had a craving after surgery until she had a moment of weakness 18 months out and let herself indulge. Since then candy and soda are her vice and she has to watch it. She is still skinny (5'6" 135) but said she put on a few pounds by backsliding. She said this is a TOOL, to me like 1000sX... she was starting to sound like my DR! I just love her! Anyway things are all a go and I have all my vitamins and protein ordered. Still gotta get a few things but I am ready! Still hanging on with the pre-op diet. (I am lucky though only liquids day before)This pre-op diet has had its moments still (mostly my husband taunting me with all the bad foods) but I am doing it and weighed today and I have lost 9 pounds in not even 2 weeks! I have been following it but I am not tracking my calories or carbs. I have just been eating lean protein (nothing fried or battered) and approved veggies. Lots of cheeses no butter. I have not had ANY bread, pasta, or potatoes! That's a victory in it's self! I am allowed 30 grams of carbs so I use that with sugar free chocolates(my treats). I get 3 bite size pieces a day for a total of 21 carbs. I am sure I have a few extra carbs in my foods to equal 30. I also try to add in a protein drink most days to up the protein. Hope that what I am doing is good enough. I hate calculating everything I eat. I did that with WW and I am over it! I was worried I was not doing it correctly but after my weigh in I think I am right on track. So now I just keep truckin on until surgery 5 DAYS FROM NOW!

Can you hear your band? My band I think is bipolar. One day he yells at me, the next quite as a mouse, then the next firm but forgiving. Ok- what does this mean. One day I get stuck no matter how well I chew, the next day I can eat anything I want with no issue whatsoever, then the next after two meatball George's stop, now that is enough. What is up with that, why can't he be consistant??? For many of you, as it is for me over eating was the biggest cause of my weight- rather than just what I ate. I mean I love veggies, but even to much of a good thing can be bad. My portions is what I must watch and control. I know everyone says because you can eat more doesn't mean you should- this is exactly right, but when it taste so heavenly you want just one more bite. Some day George D. Band allows one more bite, some days he slaps me up side the head and says nope, I am going to make you pay for that. Then on occassion is clamly say, slow it down girlfriend it's time to stop. I enjoy the calm days, we get along really well those days. For instance today- breakfast: Light & Fit Greek Yogurt 2X protien with two tablespoons of granola on top- snack 5 snowpeas with ranch dip (greek yogurt dip)- lunch 2 meat balls a little larger than a quarter. Each meal George said stop and I did. Days like today, he makes it easy, but there are others where I wonder what sector of hell he came from. At 13 months out I have only lost 60 lbs . There are so many out there doing so much better than me, and I lament. I have 45 lbs more I want to lose. I know, I eat what I want, I don't feel I sacrifice, should I sacrifice. What more do I need to do? Gotta do something?

I swore to myself I wouldn't be one of those posters who whines about ONLY losing ______ pounds. "I lost 52 pounds the first two months, but only 12 this month. I was really hoping to weigh less than my cat by now. " Well, I'm whining. It's a week after surgery and I've lost 2 pounds. While I'm sure this is not uncommon, I can't seem to find any supporting evidence to that end. Stalls seem to make their first appearance, for the most part, in the second and third weeks after surgery. Also, I'm full of gas. More gas than I had two days after surgery. I can't seem to take a sip of anything without swallowing three times as much air. And it won't come out. If I tied a basket to my feet, I could probably give balloon rides over the breathtaking Oregon coast (note to self: possible future career?). I'm just crabby. Nothing's working the way it should and everyone else is to blame. I keep having these practice confrontations with make-believe opponents in which I am angrily defending myself in imaginary scenarios. These things that haven't happened are making me very upset. And my mom moved my $h!t around while I was in Mexico. And did my laundry (which was a very nice thing to do, but also implies my incompetence, right?). And bought the wrong kind of yogurt. And I don't want to take Anatomy and Physiology from that @$$ho!e who won't let me change lab times, even though my schedule only permits me to take the online class but not the online class's lab. Oh, it's my responsibility to free my schedule up so you don't have to deal with the grading "nightmare", as you put it, of dealing with students in labs they aren't registered for? I suppose I should apologize for being the ONE student at Southwestern Oregon Community College who's ever gone for her second Master's? (statistic not confirmed) Really, Mr. "I don't even have a Master's! Just a Bachelor's in Biology and a f**king chiropractic certificate"!!! SERIOUSLY???? Maybe I just won't become a nurse practitioner. That'll show him. And this website won't even let me curse. I have to use fµck¡n8 §Ymb@[$!!! First Amendment, anyone? And my dog is stinky.

I ate breakfast fine today. I had 1/2 a cup of oatmeal with whey. I made lunch and dinner and guess what I did?? I left it at home. I get to work and I have nothing healthy to eat so I go the whole day with just sipping water and chewing sf gum. I get off work and order a steak sope (its like a small round taco but not really a taco). I didnt eat the shelling because I am scared of stretching my band. SO I am taking small bites and chewing well. I was so hungry that I kept eating until I started getting a little pain my stomach. literally right below my boobs. I was amazed at the small amount of food that I consumed sent me over the edge. now I feel like i have a food baby. my band only has 1cc in it so idk what I did wrong. I wonder if that was a sign that i was close to being full or if it was a sign that i was full. it was my bad day at work that led to my stress and the fact thAT I DID NOT TAKE A BREAK TODAY. in other news i find it amazing that everyone is noticing my weight loss. My friend said it looked like i had lost 100 lbs when i really only lost about 66. that makes me happy and gives me the strenght to continue. I know i can do this. since I am still new to this and learning how to work with my band I take this day as a lesson. double check my purse for my lunch. lol or always keep a protein shake in my purse.

I want to look fabulous when I hit the operating table in 4 days. It's a little vain, but is so rare that I am. I figured I would get a hair cut tomorrow, then once home dye my hair. I want to shave the legs and pits (doc said no shave two days before surgery), and have my feets loved on some. Mind you, I will look like a freight train hit me or at least may feel like it once out of recovery, but when I do feel better these will be things done to the 3 weeks I am off I will be ok. The blood thinners should be finished by then as well and on my last day of recovery do it all again in order to return to work . I want to find a nice dress my new body show-off. LOL My excitement is just starting to build. My niece surprised me and is doing better and has opted to take a week off of work to stay with me. I could just cry I am so happy. I plan to do something really nice for her. Well I'm off to a SF drink. This hot weather has me sucking up fluids.

Monday, July 15, 2013 Welcome back! Are you ready for your weekly beefy brief from your pudgy pundit? Ready or not, here comes another rant for the rotund. Let's start with a recap of the just past 4th of July holiday weekend. I will say it was a definite challenge! The old Johnny would have gained at least 5 pounds by feasting on ribs, burgers, fatty salads and sugary desserts during this fat-a-topia. I would have also had my Jimmy Buffet margarita maker working overtime rendering the frozen concoction that helps me hang on. Sunny summer holidays are the perfect excuse for gluttony of both food and drink. The good news is the New and Improved Johnny made it safely through this fat fest and actually lost 1-1/2 pounds. Whew! Let's get on with the NSV's. While a weekly weight loss is the ultimate goal, there are also other rotund rewards along the journey that are a by product of the weight loss. We call 'em Non Scale Victories. Hence the NSV. This comes from the fat ass secret code book. (Don't tell anyone I let you in on it.) I have had a few NSV's since I started my juggily journey. Mostly of the clothes variety. If we flashback to the day I got off the plane from Florida in early April, we will recall I was about 1 biscuit away from invoking my Level 3 emergency clothes protocol. That would have meant wearing only sweat pants and a moo moo. In other words, I was out of any wardrobe that I could wear out in public. Mercifully, I started my own pre-op - pre-op diet. My doctor wanted me to wait, but I didn't have an option. It worked. I was safely in my Level 2 fat wardrobe in a couple of weeks. I could work with this limited collection, so emergency averted. NSV number 1. In a couple more weeks, I found that my normal wardrobe (Level 1) was beginning to fit again. I was no longer gasping for air while wearing a tie and the threat of a sudden injury caused by a flying button from my pants had receded. I also found my golf shorts and casual shirts were no longer making me look like a stuffed sausage. I could feel the difference. NSV number 2. Then around the end of May, people started noticing that my fleshy face was starting to look smaller. I had a couple flabby friends ask me what me secret was. This made me take a good look at myself in the mirror. Wow! I could see the difference. I guess I was in a kind of fat fog and didn't pay attention. My body was changing. The good way this time. Another NSV. But I now I'm dealing with a couple unexpected consequences. Firstly, my golf swing has gone to hell. After 30 years of playing this stupid game, it's like I never swung a club before. My new, smaller body has really messed up my timing. Secondly, after 3 months of dieting and a loss of 38.5 pounds, my spiffy Level 1 wardrobe is starting to look huge on me. Seriously, I'm dressing up in my best stuff and it looks like I shop at Hobo Junction. People that don't know me are probably thinking my clothes are donated and I'm homeless. But I'm not complaining! These are GOOD problems. I knew the time for an intermediate wardrobe was coming. It kinda snuck up on me. I think I have another couple weeks at most with Level 1. Then it's on to the Marshall's and Steinmarts. I just need some cheap clothes to get me through to my final landing weight. Then I'll start the real restocking. So if you see a svelter looking guy in over sized clothing walking around, don't feel bad for him. It's either me or dieting hobo. Talk soon! Johnny reprinted from my blog: TheDeconstructionOfJohnny.blogspot.com Come and visit!

Just a couple of statements I wanted to make. One, I really enjoy blogging. It makes me feel less alone in my journey. I am honored and humbled whenever I receive a response stating that I have made someone laugh, or smile, or feel less embarrassed about something they have done or thought. Two, I would love to have more interaction with other members. There are so many options on this site to connect with others. I'm not sure which option to choose from one moment to the next. In so many words, HELP! I am still a newbie and I would really like some friends. I want to follow the blogs of others: I follow you, you follow me and so forth. I just learned how to make a ticker the other day and I'm still working on my signature. So feel free to friend me, leave comments, show me the ropes. MOST OF ALL: If there is one thing that I wish ALL OF YOU to know it is this: No matter how you started this journey. No matter where you are on your journey. You are SUCCESSFUL because you are STRIVING to LIVE a BETTER, HEALTHIER, and hopefully HAPPIER LIFE. You are MOVING FORWARD because you are reaching out to others and utilizing the tools necessary to keep you on track and motivated. You are an INSPIRATION, because every time you post whether to ask or answer a question, to motivate or encourage, or you are simply a kind hearted hot mess such as myself (smile)...you are REINFORCING another person's resolve to keep reaching for their goals and UPLIFTING another's spirit. So please, DON'T LET A BAD DAY, A FOOD SLIP UP, THE SCALE, OR CRITICAL PEOPLE RUIN YOUR MOMENT. Whenever you feel discouraged or down, REMEMBER that YOU made the choice to LIVE. I wish you all the best and MANY DAYS OF LAUGHTER!

Fast loser, slow loser, I am a half-fast loser! On average, I lose about 3 lbs each week. But on the other hand, I'm eating good and haven't really had to exercise hard. I walk 5 days a week and am working my way up to 5 miles per day. I've managed to get to 5 miles only 2 times since I've started. Knee and hip pain sometimes interfere with my walking. How I wanted to be one of those posters who could say they lost 100 lbs in 6 months, but it doesn't look like it's in the cards for me. But I try to be satisfied with a steady down tick of the scale. If I can maintain this downward pace, I'll be down 150 lbs in 10 months. That would be freakin awesome! That would put me at my lowest weight since high school - 27 years ago! And at 190 - my ideal body weight. Jeeze, until I wrote that last sentence, I hadn't taken time to do the math! 190 seems like a weight someone else is, not me. I don't know if I can handle being normal. It seems like one of those daydreams that only comes true in the movies. Ok, back on topic - the one thing most fast losers don't mention in their posts is, what they had to do to have such fast results. Did they workout 7 days a week on the treadmill for hours, living on Unjury and water? Or do they have a naturally fast metabolism? Or are they just attention whores, looking for approval and praise? ***Disclaimer, I know of no one that has lied about their weight loss! And no animals were harmed in the writing of this post. But my cat thinks I'm starving him!*** Anyway, the whole point of this post was supposed to be, be satisfied that you are losing weight - whatever the speed! If you want to lose faster: move a little more, eat a little better, and stick with the guidelines from your NUT. Oh, and don't forget to have a support group like the good folks here on verticlesleevetalk. You don't have to post anything, it helps me just seeing that others have the same questions and concerns keeps me from feeling alone.

Seven Days Post Surgery: Burping: Such a simple body function or so it used to be. Now I find that it is one of the hardest things I have to do. Hiccups are even worse. Laughing now brings me a combination of joy and pain. It is amazing how many actions involve using your stomach muscles. Even putting lotion on my feet makes my side sore. This is all part of the process I am told. Well, I say to that: BOOOOOOOOO!!!!. However, my healing body seems not to care what I think about it. I remember watching videos of hernia repairs and lap band placements. Whenever I wonder why my stomach is sore, I am reminded of how the herniated part of my stomach was not only pulled back through that opening in my diaphragm but a band was wrapped around it as well. How the overstretched opening in my diaphragm was stitched to close the gap around my esophagus. How more stitches were placed in my abdominal wall to secure the port of the band. Yes, My poor belly has been through much and I expect it to heal over night. How dare I? LOL. So I endure the burps when they come, try to avoid hiccups as much as possible (the hiccups don't happen often), and as far as laughing goes...well some things can't be help. I have laughed and smiled my whole life. When others are asked to describe me: one of the first things mentioned is that I smile ALL THE TIME. The surgeon even mentioned this to my family after surgery: she was smiling in her sleep (happens often with pain meds). Now, that is probably something worth investigating!