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I must admit, I'm a "closet" sleever. No family or friends know what I'm about to do because I choose not to share. i feel ashamed that i cannot lose the weight on my own. I've been trying for years only to regain the loss weight & then some. My mother has been petite & tiny all of her life, so shes never understood my plight. If she knew, oh would I hear it... Yup, even at the age of 49, she still tries to be controlling. Our phone discussions are never about life events initially, the 2nd-4th question from her is, "HOW IS YOUR WEIGHT?". {I cringe at this question} My friends are all shapes & sizes. My smaller friends call WLS a cop out. My overweight and obese friends say they're ok with their weight, but they're always on a "diet". Instead of acceptance & encouragement, I'm sure I would receive critcism & hateration...{Hateration= a form of jealously and negative emotion about your situation or circumstance, b/c individual isn't able to obtain/acheive the same success} The "excuse" I plan to use with all (including coworkers) is, I had my gallbladder removed & I'm now watching what I eat with a high protien & low carb diet with excercise incorporated within. Yes....... this is my story & my truth. MY truth shall set me free. Thanks for stopping by...I now feel a little lighter, less burdened.

Going to a party today where I will see people that I haven't since Christmas. My surgery was in January and I have lost 96 pounds. At Christmas my skirt/pant size was a 24. Tops were 24 to 28 or XXXL. My sister bought me an adorable skirt and a sexy slamming blouse. Skirt size ---> 6 !!!!!!!!!!! The blouse is a plain MEDIUM. I cried and so did she. I kept looking at the tag on the skirt like it had to be wrong. What a moment. I feel liberated and I feel like I have finally won the battle. I have no regrets going through with this operation. I am very glad I didn't have the bypass or the band. I feel very healthy. Happy girl!! Have a good day everybody.

It's 2 weeks until I have my surgery, and feeling excited and nervous all in one...I know this will be life changing, and am ready to take the challenge on, but don't fool myself...this is gonna be a challenge!! I've been very selective to whom I tell what im doing, although, I know they will see the difference soon....guess the stigmatisn of gastric surgery to some people is the easy way out...but we all know better...learning my diet, and the road I have ahead of me is by far the most challenging diet I will ever face...a life time challenge if I want success...and failure for me is not an option...my health is counting on it. So, if anyone has any tips, good websites, or food preferences that they like I would appreciate any help. Julz

So it’s 8pm and I just realized that the only thing I have eaten today was a bag of turkey bites and a protein bar. These past 2 weeks or so I have just been eating for no apparent reason. I am not sure how to stop the boredom eating. I’m pretty sure that is how I ended up this big. My boyfriend out of all people brought it to my realization because we got into an argument and he said it seems like all you want to do is eat and lay around. Reality sat in and it actually made me cry. I am responsible for 50% of my surgery bill and I feel like I am throwing money out the window. I am not mad at him he just put it out there. Well I got on the scale and yes I have been just eating since I am up 10 lbs. I pretty much just went back to my old ways and ate carbs and felt sick every day because of it. I have also eaten for no reason and when I am not hungry. I can’t just eat when I am not hungry because it turns into over eating or making bad choices. I also notice I feel pretty weak so I ordered some protein off line and been drinking more hopefully this kicks my ass back into gear…

So when did everyone have their 1st drink? Be honest ppl

I see life as a Changes a bunch of wall you must climb over to get to your goal. I had the goal to lose weight and when i Failed and Failed again I turned to my band and I love it. I had a dream of Being a Zumba Instructor I took the course and now have class that are packed. I am opening my Own studio in September . I wanted to be a personal Trainer I have a list of people who want to work with me. So when I was told about Tough Mudder I knew I have to train for it. This is a 10-12 mile run with an obstical course build in. I am in the process of training for this. Training includes 5 mile runs 3 times a week 8 mile runs 3 times a week once a week i only have to run 2-3 miles. Boot Camp 3 times a week. A madders boot camp is 5 min warm up 2 min of cardo 1 opticcal 2 min Cardo again 1. Obstical one min rest times 5 2 personal training session a week with 1 being high intencedy cardio the other work out the other streath training . I will be doing this in October

I am sitting here drinking my clear liquids and a million things are running through my head. What will the pain be like? Will this surgery work for me? Will people think I am taking the easy route out? No matter what the answers to these questions I will still be getting my sleeve surgery tomorrow at 7 am. I am nervous, but very excited. My journey started almost a year ago. I sat in the kitchen with a friend in my bathing suit, and we complained to each other that we needed to do something. We both signed up for the informational class and I went, and she did not. From there I found out the doctor I wanted performed the surgery at a hospital that my insurance did not take. I cried. (I cried a lot through this process!). I switched doctors and began the process again. I was super set. I started my nutrition appointments; however, I was very unsuccessful with losing. The day before my third nutrition appointment Hurricane Sandy set me back an entire month! Then after I finally finished the process (which I never thought could happen) I was denied by my insurance. They asked for a two year weight history, and based my denial on my previous year's weight not being high enough. I appealed, and this was also a very long process. I finally won! I was so happy and realized that this moment was going to change my life. I am still struggling with the pre-surgery diet, and am still feeling like when I get there tomorrow they are going to say no! I am so anxious that I am never going to be able to sleep tonight. When I go to bed tonight I am going to think of my family, and how happy they will be to see me happy.