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Very little riding this week, but in my travels I ran across a Perl Izumi Outlet store (High end biking clothes) and look what I found on the clearance racks. Now, I like bright but this was a bit much even for me. Two things convinced me: 1. 200.00 off list price. 2. Wolf whistles from my wife and and the fact that I had to promise I wouldn't just wear it for biking. :wub:

I started my pre-op diet (Atkins - no more than 20 grams of carbs a day) last Tuesday. It's been relatively easy. I've only had a few times that it was truly difficult. The first time was the s'mores on vacation, the other was cutting the Bluebonnet Cafe pancakes for my son, and the third was the banana bread from yesterday. I overcame all of these events because I didn't want to jeopardize my surgery. Today I weighed myself on my fancy new Weight Watchers scale and I have lost 8 pounds since starting the pre-op diet! While this is good news...it's made me question whether I should go through with surgery. Maybe I should just stick it out and keep working on it...But I know myself. Honestly and thoroughly...I know myself. I can sustain a program for a while, but as soon as I get off of it...I GO WAY OFF. The band will help me monitor myself. I go in to meet my surgeon tomorrow. I really hope they weigh me and are excited about my loss so far. If this loss continues, at the end of next week I should be back to where I was before I jumped off of Weight Watchers in May. I am looking at everyone's before and after surgery pictures. It is very inspiring, but I have a hard time imagining myself under 200 lbs again. A REALLY hard time. It's seemed so out of reach for so long, it feels like a fantasy to let myself think about it. Like I should be laughing at myself for thinking that far ahead. In OTHER good news, a friend of mine that blogs a lot is going to work with me to fancy up my page and help me make it look more appealing. I had blog envy yesterday when I looked around at a lot of other blogs. I thought this blog was going to be helping me so that I didn't talk about weight loss, weight loss surgery, or the things I'm going to do after surgery during every waking hour. To the unspoken dismay of my friends and family...it has started working yet. I'm still blabbing away! I can't wait to post about tomorrow!

I was asked recently, if I ever would be satisfied with myself. I'm having lipo in a week, where I'm getting a little bit of contouring on the lovehandles and backfat left over from the body lift, and some fat taken from my inner thighs. It won't be drastic by any means, it's just a little bit of shaping, really, but despite telling very few people (non-banders) about it, the resounding feedback seems to be that there's something wrong with me, because I don't seem to be happy with myself. And yet, I think that's never been further from the truth. I am actually happier with myself than I have ever been in my life. It's because I like myself that I'm not thinking twice about doing this for ME. The difference is, that where I used to think that if I didn't like something, I had to suck it up and suffer, because how I felt wasn't important in the scheme of things, now I don't. I don't like something, I change it. I think I approach things with moderation and I'm not going to end up being nipped and tucked until I look like an alien, so it's not like I have some addiction to plastic surgery, I just want to look as good as I possibly can. My whole life, I looked after everyone else: my man, my kids, my parents, my friends. I always came last. I was brought up to feel selfish for thinking of myself. The lapband changed all that. I learned one important lesson in the last 5 years of being banded: If you love yourself, you will look after yourself, you will make time for yourself, you will make your needs AT LEAST equal to the needs of the people you love. And if you look after yourself, you're being the best person you can be for the people you love too, and more importantly, a good role model for what good self esteem looks like. And if you're not happy with something, change it, because no one will change it for you, and YOU are the only one who can take control of your life. I'm amazed at how we are constantly told that considering our own needs is a selfish thing to do, and then people wonder why we suffer from low self esteem. Break the cycle. I am not asking you to be a heartless, mean-spirited person to others, I'm asking you to learn to love yourself. It's because I AM satisfied with myself and love myself that I can choose what I want to do to make me happy.

I am committed to me being my best. This means I will not: - Reward myself with food. I love food, and I love beautiful tasting food, but it's not a reward, I am not a dog. I have to maintain a healthy relationship with food, which means I can enjoy it without it being the centre of my life. - Forgot that that for most people, achieving 'fullness' at every meal is not their goal. This is something I realised just recently. My partner is not a big guy, and he stops eating when he's no longer hungry. I have spent my whole life stopping only when I'm full. This is a FUNDAMENTAL difference between us, and the reason I have struggled with my weight all my life. But not any more. - Tell myself I don't have time. If I can find time to be there for others, I can find time to be there for me. Whether it's exercising, sitting on the couch reading a book, or just doing what I want to do instead of what someone else wants to do. In this way, I nourish myself and allow myself to be a better person for everyone around me. - Focus on being skinny instead of being healthy. This is important - I got to a BMI of 21 at one stage, and my ribs were showing and my hip bones stuck out. I had no muscle tone to speak of. That's not healthy. My BMI is 24 now and I get sick less, I feel strong, and I feel womanly. My body fat percentage is lower now than when my BMI was 21. I was so focussed on losing, I was losing sight of why I did this, which was to be healthy. - Hate my body. It has borne 4 beautiful kids, and my eldest is now 23 and watching how women hate their bodies and themselves in the process. That's not a lesson I want my daughter to learn. I have parts of me that I don't like, that's just human nature and it's silly to pretend I could stop doing that, and that's actually ok in small doses, but I will not hate my whole self. I am beautiful, whether I was big or small, and I am the same person on the inside. And I will value that, even if society may not (yet). - Compare myself to others. This is part of the above point too. Envy is a nasty, self-destructive thing. "I wish I was younger, prettier, smarter, thinner, richer". I now say "I want to be happy" and to do that, I need to stop hurting myself by wishing my life away and not seeing the things I should be thankful for. - Sit by and do nothing. Counting my blessings doesn't mean I just sit by crying into my soup about the things in my life that make me unhappy either. I change what I can if it's important to me, don't change what isn't important and accept what I can't change. And know that no one is responsible for my happiness but me. I'm writing this because in the last few years these ideas have formed in my head but I've never said them out loud in one place. Yet I think it's important for me now to see it in black and white. And while it's not just about me being a lapbander, but a person, I thought that this was a good place to put it.

Well, hello all. I suppose this will be where I will share the journey of my future sleeve. I'll start off all formal. My name is Eric. I am a 28 year old oil field mechanic working for one of the largest well services companies in the world. I love my job, always have. I have been in south Texas for roughly 3 years now, last 2 I have spent in a supervisor role managing equipment repairs in our maintenance department. The first 4 years of my career I spent as a field mechanic living out of an F-550 service truck. Spending that much time on the road, in hotels and sleeping in a truck really kills any good intentions of eating well. in the last few years, I put on about 70-80 lbs. But enough about work. I currently weigh in at 376 lbs with a BMI of 52 I believe, seeing this number hurt. I don’t "feel" 376 lbs. I stay very active at work, walking close to 5 miles a day just around the facility, so I suppose staying up and on my feet doesn’t allow the weight to take its toll on me the way a sedentary person would, i guess. You could say that I am on the healthier side of morbid obesity (lol) as in, I take no medications, my BP is spot on, blood work has always been good. I have no bad number but my weight. So maybe that’s why I don’t "feel" 376. Maybe someone with a similar feeling can give me their take on that. I am lucky to be married to an awesome girl, who herself had the lap band put in about 4 years ago or so and dropped close to 100 lbs. Watching her struggle was tough, but we got through it together and I think I put on all the weight she lost. She is behind me 100% and I know for a fact this will be very important in the months to come. About 6 months ago, I had my first consultation with a clinic in San Antonio only to find out a month later that the hospital they use for the surgery wasn’t "approved" by my insurance as a facility to perform the procedure; obviously, this was a progress killer. I became kind of bummed about it and let it go. Here we are in June, (bite me, I'm a few days late ) and decided that I wanted to try another stab at it. So I found an approved hospital, and then tracked down a doctor that used it; backwards i Know, but had to be done. So last Thursday I had another consultation, awesome doc, nice staff and has totally re-lit the fire that I had 6 months ago. I the six months that passed between consultations, I had only gained 3 lbs, not bad i guess considering my bad habits. So thats me in a nutshell. I'm here, ready to do this. Started my 3 months of supervised weight loss per insurance regs, and I am going to take it seriously. I'm tired of being the big guy. I put a few before pics on here from my wife and I's diving vacation in the caribbean from last August, I think I will use these as my before pics, because the Caribbean has been our best dive trip so far, so good memory with a fat picture, haha. Later, Eric

Hello all, I know I haven't been on in a while but I'm happy to report that I'm under 200 pounds. I weighted myself today and I weighted in at 198 I'm so freakin happy. Hard word and determination really do pay off. I'm living proof. :wub:

Its the next to the last day in June. Come Monday it will be July! The count down begins. Wednesday is pre-op testing. The 22nd is Sleeve day! Ready: Since 2004 I've been ready to do something about my weight and have been trying hard to get it together. This decision is the best on for me. So I'm ready! Set: the surgery date is set, pre-op testing date is set, mindset is right, life style is going to settle into one that will allow me to set loose the wild child I am. I can go and fit into places, do things I've been to embarrassed to do because of my size, I get it live! Go! Moving forward to a healthier life, long life God willing. I'm so happy I could cry at times. Its the strength I have found in making the changes. I stopped eating bread, I stopped drinking coffee and tea, I do have decafe around but have not touched it. I've never smoked. I've cleaned out my cabinets of foods I know I must avoid, it's nice being able to give the food stuffs to people that can use it. I've donated clothes that I know I can't wear, won't wear and shouldn't wear lol. I'll spend today packing, I'm moving next weekend into a new apartment. So July is truly a new me month. I admit, I'm getting nervous. But my sister that is supporting me in my decision is coming to visit, it will be nice to have family going in and coming out of this procedure. Thank you to everyone that posts and comments on this site, pro or con. The experiences shared have helped a lot. Continued success to everyone on their journeys. Karen

Woke up from surgery June 26th and felt horrible. Walked the hospital halls and felt ill was given medication. This is day 6 and still have pain on my left side . The doctor said it was normal and it has gotten better each day. Looking forward to starting the next weeks thick liquid foods. I personally don't care for sweet stuff ,shakes and frozen pops . Looking forward to creamy soup !!! The first few days thought this wasn't worth it but now i'm down over 17 pounds !!!!

June 25th 2013 Surgery Date: Not Set Surgery Type: VSG Ok, I have decided to do this to keep track or to keep a time line of what is going on in my mind. I dont know if anyone will read this or not but if you do hopefully it will help you along the way. Today has been a littlebit of a different one, im not in the same boat as a lot of people on here are, or at least i dont think i am. I have picked my surgeon, there were only two to choose from in my approved hospital, I have completed my Psch Eval 6/19 and completed my seminar 6/20. I have a telelphone appointment with the surgeons office on 7/3 at 1pm, that i am kind of nervous about becuase i dont know what to expect. they said it can take anywhere between an 45 minutes and a hour. I am the kind of person who wants to get this done now, I kinda wish they would tell me ahead of time what kinda test i need to get done so i can be setting them up and knocking them down rather than sitting here waiting. But i guess i just have to wait. I just read another blog and all the person talked about is how they could wait until the no solid food period was over because they just wanted a taco, or they just want this or that. I couldnt help but think to myself, here is someone that most likely will fail. Now, dont get me wrong im not wishing failure on anyone, but once you make up your mind and follow through with something as serious as weight loss surgery i think a taco should be the farthest thing from your mind. Anyway that is the kind of thing that scares me, am i going to be that kind of person, that only thinks about the stuff that i can't or shouldn't eat versus, taking this oppertunity, taking this chance to make a whole new life for myself and run with it. I'm already making palns, for example, i want to get involved in adult sports, ie the coed basketball team, at glory days sports, volleyball doesnt sound to bad either. there is just so much that i want to do that i cant because of how i allowed myself to get. Another thing that is on my mind, i heard a doctor say when giving a seminar that it was not the patients fault that they were overweight, that bothers me, it bothers me because it is taking the response ability of someone actions off of them. Now dont get me wrong i know that there are true medically nessary reasons where a person cant lose weight, however (and i'm including myself in this catagory) some of us where just making bad choices with our life, and that choice got us where we are, now we need help to get back where we want and need to be to live healthy. I dont know what is all going on with me mentally right now but i do know that i am ready to get this show moving. i am ready to be thinner, smaller, healthier, and all in all ready to be around a lot longer. If you found this to be the slightest bit interesting, feel free to follow my blog, there will be more to come. Have a great day and God Bless!