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I'm into week 3 and I'm 21 lbs down since surgery 40 since my heaviest. Eating less than 1/4 of a cup of food at meals, which doesn't amount to many calories, so still struggling with fatigue. BUT - I am walking a mile now in my 30 minutes of required daily walking. (PITIFUL, I know, since I used to jog 3 miles in 45 minutes.) So I called the nurse to ask when I can swallow pills again and found out I have 3 more weeks of the nasty liquid/chewable crap. She shared with me that I really HAVE to get the 60 grams of protein in a day OR ELSE my hair will start falling out. So now I'm serious. Back to the gross protein drinks. Thinking about going to Goodwill to find some shorts since mine are about to fall off. HOORAY! My belly STILL looks like a train wreck, but oh well, I'll not be wearing a bikini anytime soon. And I think I might have found a shoulder under all my vanishing fat! Looking forward to finding a WAIST eventually.

I feel great physically. Emotionally, still struggling. I am definitely a food addict. I had no idea. In my mind, I catch myself thinking about food....like all the time. I miss cheese crackers, popcorn at the movies, toast and bacon. I miss sharing a cookie with the grand baby. I miss trips with the kids to Braums ice cream. I long for a Dairy Queen chocolate malt. Furthermore, i crave McDonald's french fries and homemade brownies. I cannot wait to eat a ribeye and baked potato (just a bite). You get the picture. I am in detox with a full, unlocked liquor cabinet in front of me. (Actually the food pantry...) I took the kids to see Monster's University and knew it would be hard, but had no idea how hard. The smell of hot buttered popcorn assaulted me before I even entered the door. It threw me to the floor like a rag doll. I fought it, yelling and screaming. We drew quite a large crowd, that deadly aroma and me. The mouth watering scent drug me across the floor to the concession stand. I fought so hard I left claw marks in the tile. I gathered myself, stood up, smiled at the young woman with her mouth gaping and ordered a LARGE popcorn and 2 large cokes. As she placed the humongous container of butter dripping popcorn on the counter, I grabbed it and slung it at my children before I changed me mind. Whew! My stomach growled the entire movie like I hadn't eaten in weeks. Oh, maybe because I HAVEN'T! I quietly drank my water and watched the movie. I survived! I did it! Last night, I found myself in the emergency room with a friend. I brought my water and some baby food but didn't plan on camping out for hours. I knew I had to have something. I sniffed out the vending machines hoping to find something edible for me. I dreaded the sight of Reese's peanut butter cups, snickers, cinnamon rolls and chips. My mind kept screaming that peanut butter is high in protein and soft, hence the peanut butter cups would be the best choice. It sounded reasonable to me. Once I located the vending machines, I stood frozen in shock. EVERYTHING in the machine was healthy or relatively healthy. Not even a hint of chocolate was to be found. I opted for a 100 calorie breakfast thin thing. I chewed it like it was leather so not to disturb my stomach. I survived. I am still refusing to allow bacon to be cooked in my house. I think I would go into convulsions. There is a no baking anything sweet ban till further notice as well. My 12 year old asked me today, "How much longer are you on this diet?" I just smiled and hugged him. Signing off till next time! Judy

Ok, memorize this phrase for the next time you experience this rude behavior: I can lose the weight, but your stupidity is forever! I love that your friend had such a great comeback. Take care and don't let the jerks get you down!

Oh dear Judy <<<HUGS>>> This was one of the most challenging times for me also fighting the battle with head hunger rearing its ugly HEAD! This WILL get better, but it WILL take time. Avoiding these triggers is a great option for now. :-) Today I had a conversation with my NUT and asked how long I would have to battle the 'head hunger' and/or food fight...and she said FOREVER, imagine my mouth drop... I keep telling myself that they only did surgery on my STOMACH not my brain/thoughts.... Keep your chin up! Here on VST we are rooting for you! Best of Luck! -Cassie

Hey T! Sounds like your doing good and HAPPY!....AWESOME. Its really ok in the long run to do just as you are describing.....You've got a life to live! If you enjoy your glass/bottle of wine OCCASIONALLY, good for you. I know I do! A bottle is somewhere around 650 calories...so if your counting cal's.....more workout will make them disappear easily. I'm working nights this thursday, so I won't make the support meeting, but just wanted to say I am happy to see you doing so well! You got this figured out already......CONGRATS!

Hi Judy, I'm new to VST and not yet sleeved. I've been reading up, trying to prepare myself and my family for what's to come. I just read this out loud to my husband because it painted such an incredibly vivid picture of what early post op will be like. Thank you for sharing, and I'm going to adopt the "no baking anything sweet ban" as well! Gentle {{{hugs}}}

You look great - be proud!!

I'm exactly a month out in a few days! My snacks include cheese (baby bell, string, muenster cheese) or a cold cut. My go to are the baby bells because you can throw then in your pocket (purse in my case) and forget about it until you remember you need to snack. And they're 6g protein!

Wow, congratulations. It's great to know you can go out again and be social. I'll be sleeved on 05/06 and I have a party at the end of May so I hope I can be/act normal there.