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After 2 bites, I decided it just wasn't going to work. I started dinner prep way too hungry, testing this, tasting that, drinking something else. By the time the steak came off of the grill I had already eaten my cup, and Mistress Band told me there wasn't a steak on the planet worth what she would put me through if I ate any more. Sigh...6 months is not enough time to undo 50 years of bad eating habits.

With today being the first day of summer my thoughts have been on light and flowing dresses and tops. I went into a store and hit the clearance rack. I found a cute sassy dress that I know I can alter as the weight melts away. I was tickled pink when it slid over the body and did not cling to me. I instantly thought of push up bras and sexy undies, 7/22/13 can't come fast enough. All of that to say I want the foundation garments that will have me walking with that extra spring in my step. Lol So the planning begins, I want to reward myself with a visit to Victoria Secrets (VS) and purchase underwear that scream SEXY! And they have to be HOT RED. In the past I've darkened the doors of a VS store because I was with my friend that can fit their products. It's going to be a total scream the first time I can make a purchase. There is not a plan to buy then work to get into the undies. The goal is to reward each milestone I hit in order them without the psychological stress. So I figure at 30, 60, and 90 pound milestones I'll reward myself. Once I hit the ultimate goal of 100 pounds lost its the full hot res sexy ensemble. Push-up bra, high cut sexy undies, garter and stocking to seal the deal. LOL. To round this all out,how has the VGS community been rewarding themselves for reaching their goals?

Wanted to share a rundown of my surgery day and 1st week Postop. I was sleeved on June 11, 2013. Here goes: Surgery day!: the surgery itself went smoothly. No complaints or complications. When I woke up, I did experience some nausea. I also felt a little too sedated. My mind was like, "ok, Misty, you need to get up and walk." But my body was like, "F*** that." My mom and husband brought me to my very comfy hotel room and I was instructed to start sipping on water at 10pm. So, I did. And I vomited. I did have some mild pain, but I couldn't tolerate the pain medication (I couldn't tolerate the water). Recap of the day: pain- very mild. Nausea- holy hell. Day 1: I continued with nausea until I hit the 24 hour mark. Then I was able to drink. Magic! The day's intake totaled 5oz, and I was super proud of that. On this day I met my new best friend = Gas X. I attribute the Gas X with me feeling so much better. Oh! And I was allowed to take a shower!! (A shower cures everything). That evening Dr. Borland came visit me, and gave me terrible news = no bowel sounds! Ahhh! Some people might be like, "so what?" But in my mind (my nurse mind) I pictured myself with an NG tube, large midline abdominal incision, and a colostomy. Ah! I took Phenergan that night, not for nausea, but for sleep. Day 2: I was able to leave the hotel. Home sweet home! After the car ride, I did have some mild soreness and a little trickle of blood at the bellybutton site. No biggie. And on this day I learned the value of burping myself, yes, like a baby. Day 3: ok, we talked about no bowel sounds- Since the doc told me that, my ridiculously obsessed self kept listening for my bowel sounds. And I had been hearing increased grumbling. Yay. And today??? A BM!! Yes, thank you, I was happy for myself too. Today I felt no pain or soreness. I walked to the mailbox a few times- I was afraid to leave my driveway. I had a total intake of 17.5 oz! Day 4: Feeling good! Walked outside a little. No pain. Total intake of 19 oz (I felt like I pushed it too much). I was feeling much stronger until I had to wash my hair-- OMG! Day 5: Felt great!!! I discovered today that my engagement ring no longer fits. but and I got 21oz in with no problem. And today, I ventured past the mailbox into the street!!! Day 6: I woke up feeling weak. After thinking about it, I believe I was a little dehydrated. I actually slept late this day. So my observation= sleeping too much= not drinking= dehydration= weakness. I did some light housework, walked outside, had an all around good day once I caught up on my fluids. And I went on my first outing: Walmart to shop for thickened liquids: dear god that was exhausting. Lol Day 7: I started my protein shakes! And vitamins!! After all that clear liquid, I was kinda excited for protein. Feeling strong! Feeling good! I went to my first Postop appointment. Lost 22lbs! Yay! I will see my doc again in 2 weeks. Oh, and I learned I love V8. So that was the first seven days. Honestly, I thought I'd be worse. And with no pain medications, I felt like I did well.

hi, im 3 weeks out and have been on pureed for just over a week and so far, not being sick and able to eat everything ive tried so far. Yesterday hubby did me a lasagne, half of a one person ready made one, it didnt blitz as smooth as i would have liked, but i gave it a go, i was only able to eat half of it and was really full. Today i get weighed and have put 2 lb on, up to today i have been loosing half to one pound per day, i have not been going for no 2 every day, and do feel a bit bloated. Not sure if its a stall, or just lack of no 2s, not worrying but was a bit dissapointing to put on at this early stage. I am finding that i need to eat every 2 hours after lunch to stop the light headed wooziness happening, my dietician said to have 3 normal meals and not to snack in between, but i feel the need, i have had a bag of skips for 76 cals, but tried a banana yesterday, had half and chewed it well, and felt better for it, so am going to try fruit in between as we are not supposed to have crisps etc as they go down easy but are high in fat and cals compared to fruit, need to get good habits now for the rest of my life. God has really blessed me with a good result and am believing that this will be for my good to have a smaller healthier body, and be able to keep it that way. Im not hungry, but do feel the need to eat, its a kinda empty feeling, and needing to top up energy more than anything, its 11 am and so far ive just had water since 9/20 am when i got up, im not hungry but have that empty feeling. One concern i have is that once i begin to eat, the 2 to 3 hour of needing to eat cycle begins and am watching how many calories i consume by using my fitness pal. I am not wanting sweet things at all, but am craving beef jerky, only 50 gram packet and 141 cals, and im not swallowinng it, this may sound gross, but i chew and chew and savour the taste, but then, take the little ball of mush out and give to my waiting dogs. It is very expensive, but it is my treat, i usually have it in the evening and can take an hour or more, breaking the little squares in half and chew chew chewing, lol. I started to take my meds in pill form yesterday, i am supposed to wait another week but just couldnt do a day longer with the horrible liquid meds. I have been in so much pain without my normal amount of pain meds for the fibromyalgia pains. Have a pain in my left calf going up under my knee, but no swelling or hotness, am thinking it is a pulled muscle, but will keep an eye on it. Really happy i have my sleeve, i know my weight loss could be slower because of my lack of mobility, but was 27 pound down and i can feel and see the difference already. My size 30 clothes are all really loose and i started at size 34 3 years ago, so am happy im heading downwards, i can get into size 24 26 pjs comfortably, and am thinking im about 26 28 in day clothes. Ive orderedc size 16 18 pjs in the sale for my christmas presents from hubby, and am really hoping that i will be in them for christmas or just after. My goal size is a small 16, and whatever weight i am for that size will be fine with me, i dont want to go below small 16 as hubby didnt like that last time i was size 14, he said i was too bony, lol, cant say ive been too boney fr many years. Well, thats me for today, praising God for this new life, getting on with what i need to do and trusting God to do what He needs to do in me and through me, to God be the Glory, great thinks He has done, and is doing and will do, byeeeee, xxxx

So four weeks ago today, I got the lap band done. I can't believe how time has flown! And guess what? I'm okay! I'm doing this! Pre-op diet I lost 25 pounds. Post op, I've lost 22 pounds so far. I'm trying to be gracious about it to everyone but inside I'm insanely happy with myself. Even when the hunger came back, I stuck to the diet the doctor had me on (he's very strict) and I was able to lose. Today I had my first fill. Everyone was very positive and I even got a 3/4 cup measure for my meals. My doctor had put in 3.4 cc's and today they added 1 cc to my band. I'm kinda bummed about being back on liquids for a couple of days but that's the way the ball rolls, I suppose! So I'm going on vacation next month and before I leave I'll be going back to see how I've progressed. I'm kinda thinking about getting some fluid taken out before flying but we'll see. Let's see how this month goes!

I had surgery Thursday June 20th,2013, and it's day 2 and I feel like a train ran me over! I have major gas and gas bubbles along with loose stool. I basically feel like I have no control over any bowel movement or my body and this sucks! I can hardly breathe, laugh, cough or cry! The hardest thing is not being able to care for my children and hubby! I'm like a little baby and I can't wait till I can feel normal again!

4 more days! I'm going to share 4 things I have done in the past week.... 4. Had my pre-op appointment with the anesthesiologist. She said I would do fine and that I have a big mouth for easy intubation haha 3. I went to two spin classes, walked 3 miles every day I wasn't at the gym and even started running a bit 2. Took my dog to the vet because he has e.coli. If you know what that is then you will know that my week also consisted of cleaning up gross dog poop accidents in the house. 1. Practiced living the lap band lifestyle since my surgery is 4 days away!!

Hi I'm Nikki, I am on my way to a new begining. I so look foward to seeing, being and living forever. I am 234 pounds now I started @ about 256 or so maybe a tad less. I have worked hard @ loosing those pounds, trust me it has not been easy. I have tried many weight managemnt techniques, vitamins, drops, drinks exercisejust to name a few. If any it has ONLY been temperary. This is why mind mind is made up to go foward with the Lap Band. I am ready to live again, I am ready to be healthy, and keep up with the rest. I am tired of carring all of this extra excess weight. My husband is very supportive, with the weight on or without. He want's me to be healthy and happy all @ the same time. He is affraid I may looset his big rump, that I have. I want it to be paportioned, shaped, tight, firm and nice size. Butt is in and is the thing. It runs in my family, I have been having a large bottom from day one. My ultimate goal is to weight@ least 150 pounds no less than 130. I have completed my Pre-Operative work. I will be going for surgery next week and I am so excited , it has been a long journey, seemed like I have been dreaming & waiting forever, now it's finally a reality. I will keep you updated with some details, pics and life style changing. Please feel free to comment, no negativity... God Bless and many Blessing!

I lost my uncle today. He had been battling cancer and though we knew he was terminal you can never fully prepare yourself. It started me thinking about my own mortality. I am about to willingly endure a major operation with risks - no matter how slim they are there are still risks. A friend, who is part of my group of people that I have told about this operation, called me yesterday. It had been a while since we last talked and she asked me if I was still going through with "it" (giving the surgery a similar intonation we usually only reserve for the word cancer). Today after hearing about my uncle I thought of the question again. I also wondered if my uncle had any major regrets. I mean I am sure we all have regrets when this situation happens but I mean a big regret...one maybe influenced by others comments. I wanted to call my girlfriend back and reaffirm my YES bigger and louder than before. I wasn't really close to my uncle but his passing today allowed me to put to rest in my mind the one last doubt about the surgery. Rest in peace Uncle P and thank you for the assistance to eliminate regrets! No regrets!

I think I have split personalities, I'm not quite two weeks out, but one part of me expects that I should be 50 pounds lighter or something. While the other side knows better. On one hand I am already rethinking my decision, while on the other hand I am happy it has finally came. I am fighting with myself that I have only just begun this journey, and it has not even been 2 weeks. So, I am going back and forth with this junk in my head. I know I need time to heal and then time to get the right fill possibly,but the other side of me is like I'm not eating so I should be dropping weight right?. My husband says my face looks thinner even though the scales not moved. I think a part of me unconsciously expected to much, I think i secretly thought I'd wake up from surgery and be thinner and drop weight as I walked., a pound a day type thing. Consciously and reasonably I know that is not realistic by any means, but i still struggle with that other "personality" in me. I'm still fighting with that part of me that has helped keep me big all this time and has helped me fail in every aspect of losing this extra person I carry around. Maybe that's it, It is like a second person I carry around one that does not want to be pushed away or put aside. But I'm so done with that relationship. I want the thin me to be the only one I carry around. So, to do that I'm going to have to win this fight between my two egos and literally beat the fat out of the fat person in me. So with the help of this group, my Doc's team of professionals, and the thin person in me I will prevail. I have to do this, I have to be successful this time it's the bottom of the ninth with 2 outs, and I up to bat with 2 strikes and 3 balls and this girls not walking or striking out it is a hit I'm going for so I'm going to swing and with help of my new bat (band) I will hit a home run. ~~~Stephanie