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HI all, it has been forever since I have been on this site. Got lots of reasons/and or excuses, but I am back regardless. First of all I have had my 2nd fill since I checked in last. I now have 4 cc's in my band. For the most part I am doing terrific with it. I am down to 272 pounds. That is a 54 pound weight loss since mid January. I am so happy, so very, very, very happy!! I have lost 42 pounds since my surgery March 18th. In losing all that weight I have gain oh so very much. I have super confidence, I have more energy, and I have such a different outlook on life. I was in a size 26...sometimes a 28 jean. Now, I am PROUDLY ROCKING a size 20!!! Flipping size 20!!!! OMG!!!! The difference is amazing. Both to me and my family and friends. I went shopping this last weekend and bought something I never thought I ever would. See, I have been with the same man for 17 years...well..17 in July. We are not married, have thought about it, just never have done it. Well, he PROPOSED to me a month ago. I AM GETTING MARRIED!!! YES ITS EXCITING!! HAHA. So, I went and tried on wedding dresses, just to see if I could even bear the thought of wearing one...I love dresses, just not on me, they do nothing to hide fat!!! lol. So there I was trying on wedding dresses and I was so surprised to be LOVING IT!! I was going to get one with sleeves, because as with all of us, my arms are a big issue. But I fell in love with this strapless-halter type dress. AND I BOUGHT IT!!!. I figured that it doesnt matter about those arms, see, I fell in love with ME again. I felt beautiful in all of those dresses. That was something I had never expected. NEVER. I cannot wait to ROCK that wedding dress come September!!! So yes my weight loss is fantastic, wonderful, exciting, and all of those other adjectives. But, what is even better, is that I have found me again. I have found the confident, out-going, smiling former image of myself. I still have a ways to go and I am not quiting until I am there. Everyday I have something to look forward to. Everyday I am happy when I wake up and feel so excited with my new life. Well thats it. This is my life. Go me!!!

My surgery is scheduled for June 26th 2013 at 10:15am. I have contemplated lap band for over 2 years and just within the past year decided to do it. Sometimes I still think to myself "do I really need this? am I being crazy? I'm not THAT fat", but then I look in the mirror, look at the numbers on the scale or see someone in public looking at me funny and I realize that I am THAT fat and I need help. I had my first appointment with the surgeon on April 18th, 2013. Since then I have been eating like my life depends on it! Trying to get in everything I won't be eating after surgery. I know, I know, I'll be able to eat all the same things, just smaller portions (eventually), but I'm a food addict. Like an alcoholic can't have just one drink, I can't have just one bite. So for the last 2 months I've been eating like a glutton. I'm happy to say though, that over the last week I've come to terms with the fact that I won't be able to eat certain foods anymore. I've stopped the binge eating and am getting excited for my surgery. I've cut back my calories, started changing my eating habits by taking in more protein and not drinking when eating. I said goodbye to binge eating, my social and emotional crutch, the most damaging relationship I've ever been in, and we broke up. Like many break ups I know it will be hard, and there will be slip ups, but I'm ready to start a new life with a new love, me.

​Congratulations!!!!!!! on everything. Being a bride is wonderful. You will have to share pictures, please, of the thinner you and your great dress.

Yesterday morning Mandy met me at my house and she brought me over my shirt. I thought she ordered a XL but she got me a large. At first I was like I can’t wear large but she encouraged me to try it on. To my surprise the large was a perfect fit and I was shocked! One thing about me and Mandy we are always late. So how late were we? One hour but better late than never right? Anyway yesterday it finally hit me that I have the lap band. I know you would have thought the weight loss and my change of eating habits would turn on the light upstairs but it didn’t. So what happened to me that finally clicked? I had my first frothing but I know what happened. Me and Mandy were rushing and while we were getting ready. I was drinking on my protein shake and when I was done with the shake I started drinking on my coffee. While waiting on the metro link (the train) I started to get nauseous and on my way to the race I started frothing. Mandy asked me if I was okay I told her if she ever seen me drinking a protein shake and coffee back to back stop me. I believe that was the cause of my frothing. I was afraid that I couldn’t do the race but the frothing came and went. Me and Mandy walked 3.34 miles and had fun. I was dancing and didn’t feel like stopping. We finished the race and gave each other a big hug and it was amazing. Afterwards we went to subway I ordered a chopped turkey salad and Mandy was teasing me because it took me 45 mins to finish. Yesterday was a great day. My plan for the rest of today is to go spent time with my daddy. He work overtime this morning so I am want him to rest up before I go see him. My daddy is amazing and I love him so much. Happy Father’s Day to all my readers and thank you for reading

I agree, Premier are my favorite too. Costco sells them in an 18 pack for 24 dollars. I have not tried the bars yet, but may pick some up today!

You are right. I was only trying to be sarcastic. I don't want anyone to kill themselves. Sometimes it's difficult to convey humor through writing. But I hope that most of the readers are familiar with there rest of my blog and can see that everything I write has a numerous twist to it. And realize, that making people smile is what I'm shooting for in every post.

I am coming upon my 1 month anniversary. It has gone by fast, but at the same time slow. I would say the first two weeks with the healing and pain were rough at times but, then nothing is easy re: losing weight. I am pleased and shocked at my progress. I am presently on stage 4 (diet) and by the end of this month I will go onto stage 5. I like that I can sit down and eat a meal, salmon and a sweet potatoes or some chicken and butternut squash, I can eat with my family and feel normal. I am glad to have more options re: soups other than those cream O' this & cream O' that. Egg drop soup is my favorite. Turkey burgers are fantastic for bbq's and tasty, my son likes them too, and ate my whole turkey burger, so I had to make another one. I am losing in places like I have never lost before and it is freakin' me out!! Usually I lose it in my tummy first, but I am losing it in my arms, legs, face and stomach, and not pudge area first like before (moms know, that pouch area, below your belly button) I am losing it in my upper stomach!! I have more options now, like almonds for snacks or some string cheese. Hopefully the Dr. will give me the green light to start some work out dvd's on Monday and I can find out the info re: my fills etc... I am nervous, but excited, I want the fill asap, b/c the hunger monster is back. I watch my portions, and am mindful of what I am eating but seriously it is hard. I got the Mindful eating book again(eat drink and be mindful), and I am giving myself mani's and pedi's, reading alot more, minor indulgences I never took the time for before. I am trying not to be hard on myself too, but the stress level is still there trying to be the main cook in the house and my family can eat things I don't. Honestly it doesn't bother me a whole lot, I am kind of amazed by this, the only thing that bothered me lately is meatballs, yes meatballs, they were what was for dinner one night and the smell, well it made a river run in my mouth. I did not touch them, b/c red meat is not allowed. I left the kitchen, and drank a iced tea. Point is, I got over it! I got over it, and I lived and life went on. Ok gotta go, I am missing DishNation.

"You cant be afraid of what people will feel at the expense of what you feel." - Steve Harvey I was half asleep with the TV on when I heard Steve Harvey say this. The topic on his show today is being able to tell other people no. It got me thinking, "Do I say NO enough?" Kids wanna borrow money, if I have it I give it to them. When my friends want to borrow something, I usually say yes. When it comes to compromise it seems that I was always the one bending over backwards to accommodate everyone but myself. Then I decided 6 months ago that I was going to do something for me. I might revisit this topic above at another time.. but for right now I think I will just talk about how I am feeling. Today makes day 6. How do I feel? gurgly hahahaha My stomach is gurgling and talking bubbles. Which is a good thing, my incision sites are not sore anymore and I slept partly on my side last night. (I did cheat though and took some of my lovely liquid codeine to help me sleep) Before I completely woke up this morning I got Bret (who was already up, thanks DD2) to bring me my medication so I could take it the correct way, no chewing up the pills and before I got up and started moving around. I have discovered I am going to take the blood pressure meds a little later in the day, and the thyroid soon as I get up with an empty stomach..haha but as it is now its an empty stomach all darn day!! I got me 2 popsicles, some chicken broth, a lime jello and a small cup of Gatorade....and that was breakfast. This liquid diet is murder, but I can say I do not have any diarrhea. So if that's what it takes then ok. But right now I would fight a wild pack of dogs for just one scrambled egg and a slice of toast. I guess I can tie in the whole no thing after all. For my health, for my healing I have to say NO. To myself, to my kids, to people who want something from me right now. It's not gonna happen. I have to put myself first right now and heal, then I can go back to being the pushover that I once was..lol

Your diet is exactly like mine. I started my preop diet on Monday. Day 6 I've had 3 protein shakes a day, some propel zero, and in 6 days I've treated myself to two sugar-free popsicles. Go me, go team! I feel a little stressed because I see how people advance so much quicker on their diets than we are going to be allowed to. Then I start reading this forum and I see how people try eating after 3 weeks and are in horrible pain, I see how people that advance too quickly don't lose as quickly or how people are upset that they can't eat like they used to at a month out. I see some people have complications that probably would not have been so bad if their diet after surgery went a little slower to give the belly time to heal. I think in the long run raindrop, the way our doctors are doing it is going to be better for us. I'm sure there are people that had no problems after the first week, but we chose our surgeons for a reason, and I think the way we are doing it is for the best. There is a list located in June 2012 sleevers called June Sleevers Compilation - Good Luck & Well Wishes and I added you to the June 5th list. That's a busy busy day Best of luck to you! Good luck to you. http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/topic/39508-june-sleevers-compilation-good-luck-well-wishes/