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Ok, the good news. I graduated from walking indoors to walking outdoors. Now the bad news. Monarch butterflies are bullies! I've finally gotten enough endurance and stamina to start walking outdoors. I still don't like exercising, but I do like the effects. And I just can't make myself use either my recumbent bike or treadmill - they're just too boring. And besides, the computer is just 10 feet away the whole time, pouting from lack of attention. Did I mention that my Dell is an attention wh*re? So I have to get outside to walk. I have a state park just a few miles away and there are some nice nature trails that are about 1 mile in length. I've only been out there with my best friend. That way, if we run into a bear or wolf, I don't have to outrun the critter, I only have to outrun my friend! But this week, my friend is out of state, visiting his sister in Ohio. So it was questionable if I was going to motivate myself to get out and walk today at the park. But I mustered up the energy and drove out to the park. So here we go. I got my bright yellow shirt, the $5 forest green cap that I picked up in Alaska (is says, "If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes!") and shades. Oh goodie, I look like a guy cruising the park looking for other guys - that has been known to happen at this park. Luckily for me the park was almost deserted and even better, no one was on the trails. So I started my normal route. Around the lake, skirt the canal and head back to the car through the flat areas. There are some ups and down areas that I think help strengthen my legs and ankles, but not so steep as to cause me pain, or worse, hurtle down hill out of control! Going uphill is no problem. I just don't do down's very well. I'm not good at getting down, boogieing down or going down hill. Anyway, back to my story. I was minding my own business, walking the trail, hugging the shade, and lost in my own thoughts when suddenly a black shape swoops out of the woods. Mere inches from my left arm. And I did what any manly man would do. I flinched and started windmilling my arms (oops, I meant to say, "used my master karate skills"), to swat away whatever that deadly critter was - to keep it's venomous fangs away from my throat! A lifetime later (or about 3 seconds in real time), I realized it was just a huge Monarch butterfly fluttering by. He casually fluttered across the trail and back into the woods. But I swear, this was no ordinary butterfly. I think it was a Pimp butterfly, cause he fluttered with a limp and was very colorful, like a pimp, and had an attitude. I swear I heard him say, "Punk ass bit*h!" as he fluttered back into the woods. I'm sure he told all his butterfly friends about how he - a 1 ounce butterfly - scared a 280 pound man and made him flinch. I guess I'm lucky he didn't give me two punches for flinching or have a smart phone to capture a video of whole thing. Otherwise, I might be on Youtube ring now, going viral. P.S. The good news is: I managed to walk just over 2 miles AND, as a bonus, got in a killer arm workout. But I fear the psychological scars may never heal. Keep Pimpin that Sleeve!

I got the call that I have been waiting on. My insurance has given their blessings for me to have sleeve surgery!!! I'm so excited! I just can't hide it! On June 11, 2013, I will begin a new and exciting chapter in my life. Good bye Big Mama. Hello healthy mama.

To the weight loss surgery patient slider foods are the bane of good intentions and ignorance often causing dumping syndrome, weight loss plateaus, and eventually weight gain. Slider foods, to weight loss surgery patients, are soft simple processed carbohydrates of little or no nutritional value that slide right through the surgical stomach pouch without providing nutrition or satiation. The most innocent of slider foods are saltine crackers, often eaten with warm tea or other beverages, to soothe the stomach in illness or while recovering from surgery. Understanding Slider Foods The most commonly consumed slider foods include pretzels, crackers (saltines, graham, Ritz, etc.) filled cracker snacks such as Ritz Bits, popcorn, cheese snacks (Cheetos) or cheese crackers, tortilla chips with salsa, potato chips, sugar-free cookies, cakes, and candy. You will notice these slider foods are often salty and cause dry mouth so they must be ingested with liquid to be palatable. This is how they become slider foods. They are also, most often, void of nutritional value. For weight loss surgery patients the process of digestion is different than those who have not undergone gastric surgery. When slider foods are consumed they go into the stomach pouch and exit directly into the jejunum where the simple carbohydrate slurry is quickly absorbed and stored by the body. There is little thermic effect in the digestion of simple carbohydrates like there is in the digestion of protein so little metabolic energy is expended. In most cases patients in the phase of weight loss who eat slider foods will experience a weight loss plateau and possibly the setback of weight gain. And sadly, they will begin to believe their surgical stomach pouch is not functioning properly because they never feel fullness or restriction like they experience when eating protein. The very nature of the surgical gastric pouch is to cause feelings of tightness or restriction when one has eaten enough food. However, when soft simple carbohydrates are eaten this tightness or restriction does not result and one can continue to eat, unmeasured, copious amounts of non-nutritional food without ever feeling uncomfortable. Many patients turn to slider foods for this very reason. They do not like the discomfort that results when the pouch is full from eating a measured portion of lean animal or dairy protein without liquids. Yet it is this very restriction that is the desired result of the surgery. The discomfort is intended to signal the cessation of eating. Remembering the "Protein First" rule is crucial to weight management with bariatric surgery. Gastric bypass, gastric banding (lap-band) and gastric sleeve patients are instructed to follow a high protein diet to facilitate healing and promote weight loss. Bariatric centers advise what is commonly known among weight loss surgery patients as the "Four Rules" the most important of which is "Protein First." That means of all nutrients (protein, veggies, complex carbohydrates, then fat and alcohol) the patient is required to eat protein first. Protein is not always the most comfortable food choice for weight loss surgery patients who feel restriction after eating a very small amount of food. However, for the surgical tool to work correctly a diet rich in protein and low in simple carbohydrate slider foods must be observed. The high protein diet must be followed even after healthy body weight has been achieved in order to maintain a healthy weight and avoid weight regain.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME!!!! ( Picking up mic) I want to take moment and thank God.... LOL!!! No seriously THANK YOU GOD ALMIGHTY!!! I was so worried about complications, infections, leaks and most of all FAILING!! To be at this point right now in my journey, I can safely say I DID IT!!!! I have been the same weight for the past six weeks or so. Going up and down two pounds. But strangely enough I don't care. The scale doesn't bother me. I am content with the way I feel, the way I look and life and general. I WAS OFFERED A NEW POSITION AT WORK AND I AM LOOKING INTO GOING BACK TO SCHOOL!!! Life is great and amazing and I am living again.... next goal: A BABY PS. 1st Pic: on the left was taken Dec 2011. Picture on the right was taken 5/24/13 2nd Pic: Left was taken hours post surgery. Right was taken 5/25/13

As my surgery approaches, I am thinking more about the future without fat restrictions. I look forward to...... Sitting in church and being able to cross my legs Getting into the floor and getting back up without crawling to the couch Leaving the steering wheel down when I get out of the car Leaning over and picking something up without cutting off my oxygen supply shopping in a regular store Getting on the scale at the doctor and not turning my head Walking more than a block without panting Having more energy Less medication Getting up in a crowded room and not worrying about being able to squeeze between chairs or people Cutting my toenails while breathing How about you, my friends?

Spent a week here http://www.nps.gov/meve/index.htm. Truly an amazing place and one that I would recommend to anyone visiting this part of our nation. I gave up logging after the first day, tried to make good choices and stay active, but found this little Mexican restaurant and the food was amazing, including something new to me that the owner called "Mexican Coleslaw", I am going to have to work on re-creating his version of it. Got on the scale for the first time in a week and the verdict is, up 5 pounds. Not a big deal, since I know I didn't eat 21K extra calories, I know that the weight is water and will soon go away now that I am back on my regular eating schedule. A couple of NSV's: 1. Despite the altitude (7-8K), I never ran out of breath on our hikes. 2. One tour through a cliff dwelling required that we crawl out a tunnel with an 18" opening and I doubt that I would have fit 6 months ago.

Wow I can’t believe yesterday has been one month since I got banded. I am happy to say that I have lost 27 pounds and I feel amazing. I really didn’t have any plans yesterday I just made me some coffee and use Atkins French Vanilla protein shake as creamer and worked out for 15 minutes until I received a phone call from my Bestie Mandy. She stated that she had a surprise for me. Mandy had tickets to the St. Louis Cardinal game! I was a little bit excited until my fears kicked in. So what were my fears? Yesterday I was able it start drinking alcohol but will I be tempted to have a beer or mix drink. What if I get hungry and Busch Stadium didn’t have 5 week post op friendly food. Unfortunately I did not have time to research their menus and I need a better cell phone. My least favorite fear was am I ready to do this? I decided to not shelter myself because I am banded I need to live and learn. Mandy brought her cooler and added 4 bottles of water. At the stadium we found an Asian stir fry place and they had shrimp. I ask the hostess if I can just order a side a shrimp because I am lap band patient but they charge me $10.50 anyway. Mandy didn’t care about the price and paid for it. The cool part about it was they gave me a Large Chinese to go box full of shrimp! We got more than $10.50 worth of shrimp. Mandy stated laughing at me because I got full of 12 pieces of shrimp. She ended up taking the leftover home. It was a great game because the Cardinals won! After the game me and Mandy met up with our friend Jessica. I haven’t seen Jessica since she came over and made me homemade soup for day one of my 2 post op diet. Jessica complimented me on my lap band success and told me that I look amazing. I have to admit I felt pretty good. We went to our first bar and I had a glass of water with lemon. I wanted to have a drink at the second bar we were at. I was thinking shot of grey goose with water and I was going to add a crystal light packet in it or maybe a beer and let it fizz out for a bit before drinking. I had all these scenarios going through my head and I decided to drink at home first to see how it feels before I drink in public. So water was my drink of choice last night and I was okay with that. If felt good going out last night and just having fun. I am so bless to have great friends in my life. Thanks for reading.

I'm down 8.2 lbs on my 11th day of the liquid diet. I'm actually feeling the loss in my clothes, which just makes me more excited and pumped up to have the surgery and get even MORE off. I had my pre-op app. with my gp and she's 'signed off' so there's no stopping me now. I'm understanding that need to chew issue that I read about. But the V8 satiates my need for salt pretty well (I would HOPE 920 mg of sodium would do the trick!) Right now I'm feeling absurdly narcissistic and completely wrapped up in ME ME ME. I feel a bit badly about this, but I think I'm feeling weirdly about it because I never have thought about ME in the past; it's always been about my husband or kids or parents or students or anybody EXCEPT me. I've neglected myself and it shows in my excessive weight. I feel differently already and wonder if people can SEE the change in me.

I am celebrating 2 things today. First, I weighed in this morning and am now down 60 lbs! I weighed 214, down from 274. In not even 3 months! I can't believe it. Second, my doctor took me off of my blood pressure medication yesterday! This is huge! He had cut my dose in half a few weeks ago, and this visit was a follow-up to see how I was doing on the half dose. They took my blood pressure when I first got in, and it was 120/70. He was happy with that and was willing to keep me going on the half dose for now, until I mentioned that I've been getting light-headed when playing the trumpet while standing up. He had me stand up to take my blood pressure, and it was 108/70. So he told me to go ahead and stop taking it. He wants to see me again in another 3 weeks to see how I'm doing off of it.