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I like to think that If someone is in pain I feel Empathy for that person and will do all I can to help. Since being Banded in 09 I've researched allot online and gone to numerous sites that promote forums for the Band. But the Thing that occurs consistently is the Lack of compassion for others If your going through a tough time, or went through it, SHARE your experience, research, or humor ( it goes along way to heal) about that experience. The people needing help don't always know the right thing to do, or questions to ask. Maybe their Doctor wasn't "the Best", and who's to judge? Do any of us really know all their is about our Health care professionals, or about the band? No, I think Not. NO ONE PERSON has ALL the answers to LIFE or surgery Negativity only breeds MORE Negativity. If someone said, you may only post FACTS, your experience is then irrelevant, and Thus, there is No need for forums like this, because we would only be able to view "The Facts" as presented by the manufactures, doctors, scientists, and researchers and then must take that as Fact. I personally believe Life experiences are more fact based at times than anything else but that is just my opinion ( and Yes I know we all have one ) Unfortunately, it's not only online that compassion has been lost, society as a whole seems lacking as well.. I guess I'll continue to listen to the little voice inside that keeps saying "If you can't say anything nice Don't say anything at all" Because I don't know everything, ( I've yet to meet someone that does) and I surely don't know what the Other person is going through right now..so I wish them, and You Well......

I hope this will be the last part...lol Me: Really, u cant know who this is. Him: Yes, I do I dont giving my # 2 all kinds of women Me: Y me? Him: I dont kno, I was just lead 2. Me: um hum, game Him: no, seriously..I was walking by & I saw u, I thought she's beautiful but u looked so sad & I said 2 myself I would really like 2 make her day, so I did. Me: yea ok. So we talked for what seemed like hrs. Time flew by & it was time 2 go get my son, so I packed up my baby, got in the truck, picked up my son all while on the phone with HIM. I couldnt believe that I was talking 2 another man but his accent intrigued me & I just wanted 2 know more & more. Well, once I got home Josh was sitting on the couch in his usual spot, he asked me where I had been all day..I told him at my mom's & he said so u just dont give a damn if I dont have a way 2 get around or nothing 2 eat? I said no its not like that but in my head I was think hell no I dont care, I had reached my boiling point with him. We started a routine, as soon as I got in the house with the kids he would grab the keys from me & be gone until 2-3 in the morning, in my heart I knew we were done. While he was doing his dirt as he had been for 7yrs, I was developing a friendship with the "kroger's dude"...lol It wasnt about anything but convo, we would talk about my marriage, our kids, his baby moma & just life period. He was awesome, he was actually concerned about me & who I was, he would tell me if I ever needed 2 tlk I could call him, he would tell me how unhealthy my situation was..he never judged me for sticking around so long...he was my friend. One night, Josh called me & said that he wasnt coming home until the next day because of whatever reason he was giving, I was like ok um hum thats fine..I didnt put up a fight & ask 1000 ?'s like I normally would. My focus was changing. He said, whats wrong with u & I said nothing just used 2 ur lies & drama. He said, whatever bye. So after we hung up, I called HIM & he asked how I was doing, the usual stuff & this time I told him exactly how I felt, my marriage was over & I deserve better for me & my boys ect. He said, yea u do but u have 2 make sure that this is wht u want & ur not acting off of anger, I said, Im done. Josh came home the next morning, i grabbed the keys & left with the boys, dropped me oldest at school & this time I went 2 visit HIM. When I got there, I sat in the car for what seemed like hrs before I called 2 tell him I was outside, because I went back & forth in my head about, Im doing the same thing Josh done 2 me & so what he gets what he deserves. Finally, I called HIM & told him I was there, he came outside..we tlked for hrs, I had the baby with me & he asked could he hold him, I said yes & my baby was content in his arms. It was weird but he was. On the way 2 my son's school, I felt bad like I was taking it 2 far, Josh is my husband, what about my kids, everything was going thru my head. Once, I got home as usual Josh was out the door but he said, " I know u tlking 2 another man but u not bold enough 2 do nothing else." I looked at him & all that doubt/fear in my head went away & I was sure about my next move. The next morning Josh came home, I left & once again I went 2 see HIM...that also became apart of the routine before I knew it, we had spent a whole 30 days 2gether & it was wonderful. One saturday I came home, I handed the keys 2 Josh & he said, "im not going anywhere 2day, so lets tlk." I said, about wht? He said," the man u tlking 2" I said, I dont know what ur tlking about" He said, I see how rushed u are 2 leave every morning, how u give me the keys at night with no hesitation, how u hide ur phone now, how u smiling when u get a txt message, u in love with him?" I said, I dont know wht ur tlking about", he got up & he punched me in my stomach, he slapped me, he cursed me out, he pushed me on the floor all while the kids were right there watching, he told me 2 call him & tell him it was over or he would kill me & the boys. So because I feared what he might do, I called HIM & told him it was over & I was going 2 work it out with my husband..HE said,"Wow ok if thats what u got 2 do" then he hung up. I was crying but it was because, I felt like I was going 2 loose my best friend forever. Josh took my phone, he deleted HIS #, messages anything that came from HIM. That night I told Josh EVRYTHING, I told him that I didnt need him & he was I was worth more than what he thought, I even said, "u aint the only man that wants me"...I told him how I loved HIM..how he cared about me & didnt judge me, how he made me feel needed & wanted at the same time, how he held my hand for hrs & just listened 2 me...I know yall thinkin that was crazy because Josh was abusive but I didnt care, all those yrs that he made me feel unloved, unworthy, guilty, ugly, fat, like nobody wanted me but him, like I wasnt good enough for real love..I had 2 tell him why & I was ready for the fight that came with it...I didnt care. The rest of that night was queit, after I put the boys 2 bed & got in the bed..he came in the room & sat in a chair by the foot of the bed. I tired 2 stay awake becuase I didnt know what he was going 2 do but I couldnt & I actually slept the best I ever had in yrs...its crazy because he sat there watching me ALL night crying. Can u believe that he was crying, as if he had never done anything 2 push me 2 this, as if I hurt him, as if he was faithful all those yrs while I cheated, as if all those feeliings I felt he now feels...2 be honest with yall I hoped he felt the way I did for the past 7yrs. 3 days later, we had an eviction letter on the door..he left that morning then he called me around 11 saying he got a place...I said,"ok when can we move in"..he said, "I guess u didnt hear me, I got a place". I said, "what about the boys?" he said, "oh yall will find something soon." I know that we having problems but how could he turn his back on his son's & not care if they had a place 2 live? Although, I found out over the yrs who this man was, it still amazed me that he was done with his son's too. I called HIM as soon as Josh hung up & I explained 2 him what happened & y I called him 2 tell him it was over. He said, " u hurt me, I have feelings for u that I never felt for anybody else, I didnt kno if he hurt yall or what, I called ur phone, u didnt answer, I txted & no response, I cant believe that u hurt me"...I started 2 cry & tell him how sorry I was & that I had all of those same feelings for him, he told me 2 come see him but I couldnt go with the bruises on my arms & neck, so I said no..he told me that he needed 2 see me. So all that night I put ice on me, creams anything that would lighten up those marks..I didnt own any make up, so I couldnt use that. The next morning, I got up took my son 2 school & I went 2 see HIM. As soon as he seen me he started 2 cry which was so odd 2 me but he said, "I thought that I would never see u again, & then 2 see u with these bruises from him hurting u, & I was not there 2 protect u" then he grabbed me & hugged me, he wouldnt let go..he went 2 the back seat where the baby was & he got him out & held him so tight. This man must really love us, but I had no idea about what real love was so I didnt say anything, I didnt kno what 2 say. On March 26, 2009 I was moving out of that old apt 2 my sisters house until I could get things in order. While I was in the house, Josh came over...I didnt know he was coming, I didnt even know how he got there. He said he was coming 2 get the rest of his things, so I let him & I didnt say a word 2 him. When I was in the bathroom, getting things from under te cabinet..he came in & locked the door, he started choking me..he punched me & then he rapped me! All I could hear was my kids scratching & crying at the door..the worst part was I was on my cycle. He didnt care, when he was done he told me that I was still his wife & whenever he wanted me he could have me no matter where I'm at, then he left. I was disgusted & I didnt know what 2 do...I was confused & lost, he was crazy but I didnt know how crazy until then. I got 2 my sisters house, I moved all of my stuff in, within a few days I found a job, me & HIM were getting much closer..finally things were starting 2 look up in my life. Me & the boys were happy & safe. Josh called me one day & asked me could I help him get his lights back on because he was in the dark with no food. Keep in mind he didnt want me 2 know where he was staying, that same place he got & wouldnt let my boys come 2, I told him dont ever call me again, I know who u are & it took me a long time 2 get here but I'm here & I aint turning around. Over the next 7 months he called me EVERYDAY, asking can we fix our marriage & saying how he will never hurt me again ect. I told him no & I kept living my life. I am now in my own place, & have been for the last 4yrs...I havent broken NO lease, I am at a full time GOOD job, my lights have never been off, my kids are in a Private Christian Academy,me & HIM are 2gether, Im getting sleeved June 3rd., we are planning 2 buy a house next year...life is GOOD. Josh, has 5 kids with 4 different mothers, has a girlfriend that has miscarried 2 times, 2 babies 5 days apart by the same girl mentioned in part 3 Keisha & Keturah, he is currently cheating on his girlfriend with those same girls. He has had his clothes burned, been put in jail for assault of 1 of them, no car, no job & no contact with his kids, he doesnt call, help out NOTHING. I tlked 2 his girlfriend the other day & she stood out there while he was in jail, tlking 2 me about why he was in there BUT what stood out the most is that she defended him & said how she loved him so much & at that moment I saw what I looked like after all those yrs. & I told her I feel sorry for u...oh yea, I know u didnt read anything about a divorce but thats because for the last 4 yrs he wouldnt sign the papers because he said when he's done doing all this he is coming back 2 his family. Anyway, we will be in court getting divorced June 26th rather he shows up or not! It tookn alot 2 get 2 this point but I lived thru all of that for whatever reason & it was sad, it was hard, it hurt ect but WE MADE IT & thats all that matters. I needed 2 get this out before I started my NEW life, I didnt want 2 take this with me in the O.R. when I started this process I still carried this burden but 2day, I leave it all behind! (HIM :wub: ) (my babies )

I'm sorry but going to a couple of parties and carrying things to help out shouldn't cause your incisions to break open and "leak" at almost 4 weeks out. This sounds like a low grade infection that's been there all along. Taking it easy wouldn't make a difference. There shouldn't be any leaking of anything, normally. Keep an eye on your temp, if it goes up, get medical attention, ok? Best of luck to you!

Now that I have your attention… so what did I do? See what had happened was….. I over did it this past weekend. Not with eating but with my movements. It’s was graduation weekend was I got invited to so many parties and I wanted to show everyone my support. One thing about me I am always willing to help anyone out and I am stubborn! So I Saturday I was going a lot of lifting, carrying, and cleaning. Sunday I woke up and my main incision was swollen and it was hurting bad. It felt like the first 3 days after my surgery. So I toughen up and went to my last graduation party for the weekend. I really didn’t an appetite on Saturday and Sunday because I barely ate but I had plenty of water. Monday I just stayed home a relaxed. I talked to my dad and thank him for his service and we talk about the Detroit Red Wings and Chicago Blackhawks game. (Not only I am a St. Louis Blues fan but I am a Red Wings fan too) I did a 5 min workout and spent the rest of the day on my couch. Yesterday I called my surgeon office and told them about how I over did it this past weekend and about the swelling on my main incision. They told me it was from me lifting and carrying things and I need to take it easy for the next 3 days. I told them I would and thank them. But around 5pm I noticed that had a stain on my shirt so I lift up my shirt and noticed that my main incision was leaking! I start freaking out because all my incision was healed! So I called my surgeon office again explain what was going on. The asked me a series of questions to make sure that I didn’t have an infection. Thankfully I didn’t my incision stop leaking about 7pm. I hear some of you guys saying “didn’t I tell you to take it easy!” This is time I hear ya this scared the mess out of me. I don’t want to do the pre op diet ever again unless this band is getting removed! On the plus side I heard from my Bestie Lesley this morning we talk for 15 minutes and it was worth it! Thanks for reading.

I wonder when the mind games end, boy I hope they do end. I know that we all have a problem when figuring out portion sizes, which is why measuring and weighing is so helpful. But, what about our body. My weight has bounced for months now. Up 2 lbs, down three, up 2, down 1, up 2, down 4- you get the picture. I slowly dropped from 199 in Dec. to the lowest I have seen 188 in May. I am currently doing the bounce thing still. I haven't had a fill since Feb and have an appointment for one next week. My meals are no longer holding me 4 hours. Any way with all the up down of the scale, what does that say for how I look? I look in the mirror and I see that my face is smaller, as is my body, but I still feel HUGE! I slide on one pair of 14 shorts and they fit perfect, then slide on another pair and they are loose. Last night I went out for a Walk/Run with the hubs and 2 dogs. As I slipped on my 12/14 gym shorts that fit perfectly (last year they were like a 2nd skin), my sports bra and my old outer banks t-shirt. I realized that my boobs stick out further than my tummy now. I clearly see my feet. All this is great, but I still feel like a walking Shamoo Show. I am just getting so frustrated with all of it. It is like this process has become all consuming. Everything is about my band and my weight loss. The doc said last time I have been successful, but I am still so big. I mean 188 is a lot less than 244, but still it's a long ways from the 125 the charts say I should be. I by no means believe I will ever hit 125, but I would like to see the upper 130's- and low 140's. But, that is still 40+ pounds away. I begin to wonder will I ever make it. I am still very fatigued, which my OB/GYN attributes to my extremely low Vit D level, my mildly down B levels and my mildly low iron levels. I am currently work toward getting these up with insane regiment of pills. Maybe, once my level get back in the homeostatic range with weight loss will continue. Any one else feel like this sometimes?

As some may know, I have been trying for WLS since August of 2005. Finally my time came and I was sleeved. I was a very active member on ObesityHelp until I found this site. Enjoy the info and videos... The word bougie means "candle" in French. "F or FR/Fr" following a bougie size=French Its just a guide that the surgeon uses to butt the stapler up against, when forming your VSG. The closer s/he gets to the guide the 'tighter' /truer to guide the sleeve is. During surgery the bougie is inserted into your mouth down your throat, towards the end of yer stomach where it meets the pylorus via an esophageal dilator. After the new stomach is formed, the bougie/guide is removed out of your mouth, possibly why some VSGrs complain of a sore throat post op. Some surgeons will use an endoscope or other "guide" to size ones new stomach. I read an OH post of a VSGr who's surgeon explained an endoscope is the same size as a 32F bougie...Im not sure. Bougie size determination is between YOU and YOUR surgeon. Discuss size, rationale for size chosen, type bougie and technique used when sizing your new stomach........ PRE-OP!! Some surgeons may "oversew" the staple line giving one a 'tighter' than bougie sized sleeve. In order for an "oversewn" staple line to affect stomach size it MUST be running or continuous oversewn suture line across majority of staple line not intermittent oversewn nor merely at intersected "junctures" where the surgeon has reloaded the staple gun as majority of "oversewn" techniques (to prevent leaks) are done today. Make sure your surgeon explains what his/her "oversewn" technique is. Do not assume because a surgeon "oversews" you have a tighter than bougie sized sleeve. A bougie is 1/3 mm PER french. i.e to calculate ~ inches 40F bougie 1/3 x 40 = 13.33mm convert to inches = ~.52 inches or ~1/2 inch in diameter. Below are diameters of bougie/ "guides" in inches 32F = .40" 34F = .425" 36F = .45" 38F = .476" 40F = .5" 46F = .576" 60F = .75" Video 1 This VSG surgery video shows a 'red' 34F bougie, one technique in sizing stomach, exised stomach, testing for leaks etc .http://www.orlive.co...eight-loss-surg ery-gastric-sleeve Red bougies are older mercury filled ones. FDA is tryin to ban em because of disposal issues (mercury). More surgeons will use SINGLE USE disposable sized bougies Video 2 In this surgical video Dr. Alvarez shows a disposable 32F bougie and use/technique ~9-2012 In another Forum, this member's bougie pix is from hospital she works at 1st: 36F, 2nd: 38F on left, 32F on right General/ crude comparison chart created by another Forum member Standard sized bougies in the US and Mexico are 32F. 32F is the smallest guide a bariatric surgeon in the US may safely use in forming your sleeve. Your surgeon may prefer any size bougie from 32-50F, based on YOU, your height, weight, or perhaps the need for a malabsorptive procedure in the future, inc. 1st step of 2 part DS. Discuss what to expect, rationale for size chosen with your surgeon if this is a concern. LapSF/Dr. Criangle on their routine use of 32F bougies in VSG "Optimal weight loss may require the smallest possible pouch, which may yield the highest leak rate" . Some surgeons will welcome discussion and your input on bougie sizes. After reading a published journal on the higher incidence of VSG surgically induced GERD (acid reflux/heartburn) in use of 28-32F bougies, it may be wise to request a higher bougie size. However, like all surgeries, we will need years of data to support whether or not this claim is actually true. The History of using Bougies In 2000 the use of 50-60F bougies were standard for VSG when it became a stand alone WLS, as they were the standard sizes of DS bougies, which VSG was modeled after. As the years went by, bariatric surgeons thought..smaller bougie, better restriction, less regain. So in ~2005 an adopted 32F bougie became the VSG standard. Rarely, if ever are 28-30F or 50F and over bougies used in the US for VSG as stand alone anymore. Many many VSGrs do EXTREMELY well with 40F-48F bougies as the guide to sizing their new stomach, losing all the weight they need to. In 2008 study (small poll 135 pts) on Bougie Sizes in VSG seems to indicate at 6 mos and 12 mos post VSG .... 40F and 60F bougies with no significant difference in EWL (eventual weight loss) 2008 Bougie Size Comparison In 2009 study (a large poll) on Bougie Sizes in VSG seems to indicate at 5 years post VSG ... 32F and 44F bougies show exactly the same EWL (eventual weight loss) 2009 Bougie Size Comparison In 2012/13 study (a very large poll) on Bougie Sizes in VSG seems to indicate at 3 years post VSG, a LESS than 40F bougie and GREATER than 40F bougie show no difference whatsoever in EWL (excess weight loss) 2012/13 Bougie Size Comparisons VOLUME/GASTRIC CAPACITY in VSG: PRE VSG: Average stomach holds 32-48 oz or 4 to 6 cups per meal POST VSG (~6-8 months out FOR LIFE) ..new stomach holds 8-12 ozs or 1 to 1.5 cups per meal (depending on weight/density of foods you eat! can be much less or much more) The length of an adult stomach is 10-12 inches. DNA affects the length of our stomachs, as well as variations in shape. Tall people, for instance are known to have longer stomachs..so makes sense they have a bit more capacity, short people have shorter stomachs therefore less capacity.... so volume/capacity can be influenced by the length and physical anatomical variations of an individual's stomach. Dr. Alvarez explains in this You Tube video about length of an individual's VSG stomach and how it relates to volume. This limited 2009 study is interesting in looking at gastric capacity in VSG, just 3 days post op (120 ml=~1/2 cup) compared to 2 years post VSG (250 ml=~1 cup) http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19533260 At the end (8:28 mark) of this LapSF VSG surgical video shows 1 DAY old (pod) sleeve Xray and a sleeve Xray at 4 years out. It is not clear to me if same pt. or solely to impress the new "normal" sleeve size. Note the "new normal" 32F tightly formed sleeve has dilated/stretched naturally to perhaps triple in size...The video also shows one technique of sizing the sleeve, as well as reinforcement of the staple line (to prevent leaks) This VSG video shows the speed with which LIQUIDS/FLUIDS empty from the sleeve. In normal stomachs fluid empty rate is 5 minutes or less due to space creating a reservoir for large volumes of fluids. In VSG stomachs: fluid empty rate looks MUCH faster than that... youdecide! The COTTAGE CHEESE TEST /CCT (link following) may be helpful to VSGrs that are curious about their new stomachs capacity. It was developed for RNY but an effective tool in VSG as well! I'd suggest waiting until you are on a regular diet before checking. When doing this test PLEASE eat to sensation of satiety - no longer hungry, and absolutely not full. A simpler method, following the basic guidelines and time frame in the link provided... is to place 1 level cup (8oz) of small curd cottage cheese in a bowl and eat from that. Using a measured tablespoon to eat any remaining cottage cheese from the original container. Add or subtract any cottage cheese eaten or not finished using the measured tablespoon. 2 TBS=1oz. Total...the amount consumed = your sleeve's capacity. http://www.bsciresourcecenter.com/proddetail.php?prod=A4 STRETCHING in VSG: YOU CANNOT STRETCH/DILATE out your sleeve to anything remotely close to its original size. From LapSF/Dr. Criangle: The removed section of the stomach is actually the portion that stretches the most. The long vertical tube shaped stomach that remains is the portion least likely to expand over time and it creates significant resistance to volumes of food. The fundus (inc. majority of stomachs 'body' up to pyloric canal) of the stomach is ALL but removed with VSG. The fundus is the upper most part of the stomach's greater curvature. The fundus is: 1) the stomach's stretchy/expandable tissue, capable of expanding 2-3xs its resting 'unfilled' size 2) the pre-op 'mass quantities' of food, waiting to be digested, storage section 3) where 70% of the body's grehlin a "hunger hormone" is produced. Stretching, due to overeating is most common in RNY because more of the stretchy fundus part of the stomach is retained to make the 'pouch', and is usually NOT covered by insurance to correct. Re-sleeving or a need for a malabsorptive surgery post VSG may or may NOT be covered by your insurance plan. Anecdotally, Ive read from select OH VSG members, or according to a/their particular surgeon..overeating will cause your sleeve to stretch out. Ive read/found no scientific data, published or otherwise, to date that says this is a TRUE statement. Since food stays in our stomach less than ~ 3 hours after a meal..common sense tells me food doesn't stay in our stomachs long enough to create 'stretching'. Food once ingested, immediately begins to be churned into a liquidy sludge called chyme through peristalsis in the stomach. This liquidy sludge must be small enough to pass through our very small pyloric valve and into the small intestine for further digestion /breakdown and absorption of 'micronutritents' ...so there cannot be enough pressure for long sustained periods of time in our stomachs to cause it to stretch. Post op VSG ... depending upon the amount of swelling/inflammation you have..even a little 'thick/er' dense liquids or pureed foods/mushies may or may not feel restrictive, as you pass through the progression of texture dietary phases ( to promote healing) and onto your regular diet ~2mos post op. ... swelling/inflammation has naturally reduced. Density of meals becomes a key player in restriction. By 1 year out you'll find you can eat more than you could at 2 days post op, at 2 weeks post op, 2 months post op, and 6 months post op. Your sleeve has naturally and fully matured. Depending on the food..you can eat more or less than the 8-12 oz capacity of a fully matured sleeve.......at any particular meal. Toleration of a food, does NOT make it a good choice! "just because I CAN...doesn't mean I DO" --------------------------------------------------------------------------- The bougie size controversy/wars are ridiculous imo.. 'get a smaller one, you can stretch it out, you're not going to have any restriction, that bigger one is all wrong, you'll re-gain easily years out, my surgeon made mine smaller and I got to goal in 6 months' ...all nonsense DO NOT PAY EM NO MIND!! This is YOUR story! YOUR journey! ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS TRUTH: YOUR WEIGHT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE SIZE OF YOUR STOMACH, altered or not! Most important is the quantity and quality of the food choices you ingest post-op

I'm happy to say I reached my 100lb mark (second mile stone) in 5 months! I'm comfortable wearing shorts around family which i haven't done it years! I've started couch25K as well. I would have never thought I'd be running! My goal is to run in the color me rad 5k next summer. I'm extremely happy with my success and I hope everyone else is enjoying this tool we've been given!

I love your spirit!!! Best of luck to you! You are going to LOVE the new you:)