Leaderboard

Ahh, progress. We have a new supermarket in my neighborhood. It is beautiful, brightly lit, with almost anything you could want, from artisan bread to flat screen TVs. And as with all businesses, they are doing everything they can to make the shopping experience as awesome as possible. But they may have jumped the shark on this one: There is automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh and pretty. Just before it goes on, you hear distant thunder and smell fresh rain. When you pass the fruits, you smell fresh cut apples and peaches. When you pass the vegetables, you smell hot buttered corn on the cob. When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay. In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks and sausages. When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying. The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cookies. I don't buy toilet paper there any more.

I am so sick of playing by the band rules; I just want to break one or two of them. Eat a big huge meal, take big bites, or wolf food down in ten minutes flat. Wish I could have a break and not think about my food choices, my portion size, how I eat, my water intake, and exercise, ugh…. Calgon take me away! Do you feel that way some days? I’m sure we all do. So how do we get past this? There are some who have reached their goal and have been maintaining for years. They say they think like a thin person. They never think of food. Will I ever be like that? I reached my goal in December and have been maintaining since then. Has it been easy? NO. It has been the most difficult part of my journey so far. But, I won’t give up because I look in the mirror and I really like the person that looks back at me. So, I will continue to play the game. I will make health food choices, take small bites (hubby calls them band-bites), drink water and exercise. I will do this for the rest of my life because I am worth it!

I'm happy to say I reached my 100lb mark (second mile stone) in 5 months! I'm comfortable wearing shorts around family which i haven't done it years! I've started couch25K as well. I would have never thought I'd be running! My goal is to run in the color me rad 5k next summer. I'm extremely happy with my success and I hope everyone else is enjoying this tool we've been given!

Well, here I sit, nervous, anxious, and excited. I have all kinds of things running around in my head. I trust my surgeon but people do make mistakes, I'm so ready for this but at the same time worried something might go wrong. I've been trying to keep my self occupied but it has not seemed to help. I've got 2 days till my surgery, I'm on the liquid diet. Which means I can't use any food at all to cope, and I guess that will be true for the future as well. I've learned so many great things here,and also learned about the bad things. But I wanted to be well informed, and I think that was accomplished. I'm just trying to pass time till I move over to the other side, (I don't know if I like the way that sounds,being that I'm going into surgery and all ). So I'll say til I wake up from surgery with my band and no complications(please,please). I'm glad to have this place to come back to after surgery to help me with the rest of my journey. Plus it's helping keep me busy so the days go by faster. I do have a book I read that helps I switch back and forth between the two. I wounder if other people were like this before their surgery. The closer it gets the slower it goes. I have been watching movies too. I think I need to watch another one. I know I am just rambling but I don't have anyone else to talk to right now. So that's when I blog. I think I'm done for now. I'm going to go eat some "soup" and watch a movie. ~~~Stephanie

"Have you ever thought of yourself as small?" The psychiatrist's nose wrinkled and he appeared puzzled - but, not half as puzzled as I was....I'm sitting here before you - getting clearance for bariatric surgery, the sides of your chair are pushing into my thighs, and you have the nerve to ask me "have I ever thought of myself as small!!" Really? Small is definitely a foreign word to me....and going through with Gastric Sleeve Surgery is like traveling to a far off land - Africa, Vietnam....I'm learning the language, the culture...and I'm trying to learn about myself in that land. Thank God for forums like this, that people like me can become more comfortable and at ease with everything about this surgery. Until now, I've known friends that have gone through it - some successful, some not. And, I had the horrible experience of a coworker that actually died a week after the gastric bypass in 2001. So, you can imagine the feedback I've been receiving from the coworkers, that I still work with, when I tell them what I'm going to do! Not the most positive, to say the least! But, after tons of research, and more research, and being told by two doctors that the need for me to do something is greater than the need to not - I am going to do it! So, here I am - 12 weeks out - my surgery is tentatively scheduled for August 19th. But, I'm anxious - I can't wait - and keep eating and eating - until that date. I need to start it now! Each week, I'm going to do something to modify my diet or change my eating patterns, so - the day after surgery, I won't be in some incredible shock. I want to ease into the surgery.... Here's the format: May 27, 2013 12 weeks post op - Current weight: 320.2 Goal weight: 172 Height: 5'10" My weekly diet modifications: Change from regular coffee to half reg/half decaf Change from regular bread to light bread Change from potatoes and rice to cottage cheese My weekly behavioral modifications: Eat dinner minus the television - this means, the TV cannot be turned on and I will focus more on the food that I am eating. Pre surgery tasks - No appointments this week, but I do need to complete the exercises for the psychologist's second visit Ok - so there it is - next week, I'll be hopefully reporting a weight loss - maybe one or two pounds...and I'll tell you what's next........

This is going to be a long one! I would like to start by saying today is Tuesday, May 14th I am 4 days post op and am feeling absolutely WONDERFUL!! Currently as I sit here, I am sipping happily on my Isopure Alpine punch protein drink, have taken all of medicine, vitamins and had a nice cup of decaf orange pekoe tea without incident. If I have any complaint I would say it would be the constant “hunger” I am having… now I say that tongue in cheek because the stomach is a muscle… and the only time we really feel that muscle is when we are a: hungry or b: sick. My feeling is that I am not hungry I am simply feeling my stomach heal itself… so I am totally good with this simple easy side effect. So let’s talk about my journey. I live in Kitchener Waterloo in Ontario Canada, which is located about 2 hours from the border at Niagara Falls. I flew from the Buffalo airport, into El Paso (with a stopover in Atlanta) and arrived at my final destination early afternoon on Thursday May 09, 2013. It was a long day of travel but our driver found us (my sister Melodie came along with me) almost immediately. The drive across the border was uneventful and super-fast. When we arrived at the Star Medica hospital, the driver (with our suitcases in tow) brought us inside and into the lobby. He asked for my passport and went to the admissions desk to advise who I was and have the nurse start the paperwork for my admission. We sat on the comfy furniture in the lobby and chatted for about 10 minutes before I was called to the desk. I was greeted by the hospital’s psychologist/physiatrist - Dr Calderon. He spoke English very well and guided me through all of the admission paperwork. This took about 5 minutes. The nurse then led my sister to my room and I was off for my blood work and chest x-ray – both of which took approximately 5 minutes. I was then led to my room – a modest size with a hospital bed, nightstand, tv and tv stand, closet with two combination safes, a really comfortable couch that can double as a bed for a guest, and a reclining leather chair… and the bathroom was AWESOME! The shower was so big I could have had a party in there if I was so inclined!! After debriefing me on a few things that were to happen that evening (EKG, vitals, etc) and the activities to start the next morning the doctor told me I was allowed to go out and have a final meal of my choosing!! I was super excited having decided to pre-op diet since April 8th!! My sister had opted to stay at the Holiday Inn next door so we decided to go drop her luggage, check out the mall and grab something to eat. There is a Mexican restaurant between the Star Medica and the Holiday Inn that we decided to try out. They serve you warm chips with fresh made picante, and some other wonderful hot sort of dip before you even decide what to order. We had an appetizer that was some sort of cheese fried and covered in a green sauce, and an order of guacamole. By the time our actual entrees arrived we had to send them back because we were so full!! Even with the waste of the entrées our dinner was so cheap we just waved it off. My sister ate at that same restaurant for the remainder of our stay – it is just that good! After a little bit of shopping at the upscale mall across the street, we returned to my room and awaited my EKG. That took about 5 minutes as well, and I was free for the rest of the night. Eating is permitted until 12am, however after a drink of the unsweetened apple juice I hit the sack around 9pm. I woke the next morning just before 6 am (8am my time) and the timing proved perfect as the nurse with the IV came in shortly after. There was some trouble with my IV, but I don’t blame the poor nurse one bit – because there always is with my stupid little veins… but she did manage to get it in after some persistence. Before they wheeled me out of the room on my gurney at around 9:30, Dr. Rodriguez, along with Dr. Calderon and a beautiful woman who was the anesthesiologist, Dr. Solis; all came to speak with me. Dr. Rod asked me if I had any questions, apprehension or doubt… I of course said no… let’s do this thing!! I was brought first into recovery and given a pre-medication to relax before I was moved into the OR. I really don’t know how long that took because the pre-meds made me fall asleep… not a bad way to lead into surgery. I do remember however that Friday was Mother’s Day in Mexico and everyone who encountered me asked me if I was a mother, and gave me a hug and wished me Happy Mother’s Day. These people are so very genuine! I woke me briefly just to scoot from one table to the next in the OR and it was lights out. The next thing I knew I was back in recovery and the nurses were putting a powdered medication under my tongue. In and out for a while until; when someone asked if I felt I was ready to go back to my room – I agreed. I believe I made it back to my own room at approximately 1:30 pm. It took me a bit of time to get out of the anesthetic comfortably, as it felt a little heavier than I was used to; and that made my day a bit difficult. The day was actually a bit harder than I had originally anticipated. I was extremely groggy from the anesthetic and badly wanted to sleep… when I did nod off however, I was too uncomfortable to remain relaxed. I felt extreme pressure and pain in my abdomen – which I do believe was the gas (pumped into my abdomen during surgery)… and of course they want you to walk!! I remember Dr. Rod coming in with an assistant Doctor; Dr. Rafael (Rafa) Vizcarra at some point asking how I was feeling and I told him I felt like CRAP! He laughed and said ok, just walk walk walk and blow on the cornet (this weird little horn thing they ask you to blow into in order to move the gas into your diaphragm) – Ya right!! I tried about three times then told it to get lost and threw it on the window ledge hoping it would jump!! I was also given bottles of water and instructed to rinse my mouth and spit as I needed to keep myself comfortable. Very nice! I started walking at 4pm, managing one round around the hall. I went again at 5, 6:30 and 7:30… by that time I did three rounds. I then asked one of the nurses that came in to see me if I may go to bed, and thankfully she said I could!! I should note during that day, I saw the cleaners come into my room at minimum three times to mop, change garbage and tidy, and that the nurses were in and out with IV meds, and to check my vitals. Communication was never an issue and all treated me with kid gloves and kindness. My sister left around 8pm and I was OUT!! I woke at 12:00am thinking it must be almost morning and shuffled to the bathroom with my IV, and suddenly noticed that I felt MUCH better. The anesthetic was all but worn off and the pain in my abdomen was replaced by a hunger feeling (as noted above). I hoped back into bed and slept quite comfortably until 5:00am. Saturday was, well… boring. Dr. Rod and Dr. Rafi came in again 2x to check on me, tell me what was going to happen that day (barium swallow, and drain removal) and ask if I had any questions. I took a picture with Dr. Rod which is posted in my gallery… and I look absolutely horrible!! I am pale and puffy but whatever, its still worthy of posting. I wish I had taken a picture with Dr. Wonderful because not only was he sweet to me but he was damn cute!! I asked Dr. Rod if I could go shopping – he laughed and said no. My homework for the day was to continue walking, blowing my horn, and eating ice chips to learn about and train my new tummy. I was nervous to start swallowing but I pushed forward and started to learn my limitations for amounts to swallow, how slowly, etc…. slow and careful is key! Dr. Calderon came in again and explained my post op diet and discussed life changes with me. At one point my IV had to come out because, again due to my stupid veins, the one that was being used collapsed. Not at all a painful issue but the nurses had no interest in prodding me with a needle again so the switched me to oral pain meds and an antibiotic shot. I’m good with that! I was really nervous about the barium swallow but in reality it was not all that bad. Distasteful; and because you have to drink it quick you kind of get this “swallowed a brick” feeling for a minute but it didn’t make me want to throw up or anything, which is always a bonus! Once that was done, Dr. Rafi brought me back to my room; left for a short while and returned in about an hour to remove the drain and drop off all of my x-rays. The drain was removed so gently I didn’t even know he had done anything yet! I cannot say enough about this man!! He is so sweet and kind and gentle. He told me I am beautiful inside and out and that he would like me to keep in touch with them during my journey. He gave me a hug and a kiss and wished me luck; and then again even gave my arm a little affectionate squeeze when he finally left. I already miss him!! The rest of the day was spent strolling, looking at the cute babies who were near my room, and relaxing with my novel. The nurses were in and out checking my vitals, making sure I was comfortable, delivering new experimental foods for me to try (Broth, Tea, Apple Juice, and Jello cubes) and at 9pm one delivered a sleeping pill to help me have a good restful sleep before my day of journeying home. At one point another Dr. whose name escapes me as well, brought me in all of my medications with a folder containing instructions for administration as well as a full disclosure for my doctor at home on all procedures completed during surgery; to go with my x-rays. Here’s where it gets kind of silly. I took the sleeping pill, and started to doze, then a nurse came in to check my vitals again – so I just sort of dozed through that. Then, another came in to give me a pain med… I took it, still dozy… and THEN one came in to check the dressings on my drain site. After she told me what she was doing I looked at her and said, “Kipper!” LMAO! WHAT?? She laughed, I laughed… and I slept until 5am. The next morning our driver arrived at 8:30 am, having arranged being early so he could take us shopping; and we were on our way. Crossing the border took about an hour this time – there were huge lines and once the US border guard heard that I had drugs on me they pulled us over and “released the hounds!” Literally! We were made to wait outside the vehicle and two dogs ran around wildly sniffing at everything! That was exciting! We stopped at an El Paso flea market with lots of lovely Mexican folk art for about an hour and the driver stayed by our side the whole time. When we got to the airport he asked for $20 US for his extra time – we gave him $50.00. And that was that. Long day of travel home… feeling pretty good all the way. No issues on the flight with gas pain or discomfort of any kind, and here I am working from home, for the second day – having taken care of laundry, dishes, tidying, walking on my treadmill (‘cause its freezing here – what the hell!) etc etc., no issues. Seriously, no issues. I can hardly believe it. I will return to my office tomorrow morning! If I can summarize my experience I can honestly say that the cleanliness, attention and care I received at Star Medica has made the hospitals in my city look like the 3rd world. Not once did I feel frightened or uninformed. I saw my surgeon and his team every day, often more than once. I was made to feel like the most important person in that hospital. I would recommend this Doctor, and this facility without hesitation and will return to personally thank them when I reach my goal. If I can pursuade them, I will take them for dinner!

Wow. Talk about a life changing experience on Wednesday! I think I had a full blown panic attack during my discharge. Everything hit me all at once about the finality of this decision and that there is no turning back. I think the pain and nonstop nausea depleted my ability to stay positive and forward-thinking. I am so going to start attending a support group in my area (1st Wed of every month) and seek counseling if necessary to keep this from happening again. I have never felt so terrified in my life! Thank God I had the benefit of a nurse (bariatric program director for my program ) who came by to give me her card during my 1st post op day while,I was still in the throes of yay- I did it! And under the last vestiges of anesthesia. Boy oh boy was she right about the first four days being hell, although it started on day two for me. I was able to connect with her yesterday several times as well as stayed in communication with my sister and mom for extra moral support at that critical time, emotionally for me. My husband was a life saver and had a front row seat for my little melt down. I don't know how I would have coped without this support network the past three days. I am physically doing as well as can be expected and concentrating on following the clear liquid diet up until tomorrow when I start adding the protein shakes. The nurse said I would definitely feel better after that. I trust her opinion since she just had the sleeve done herself about three weeks ago. I can hardly believe she is already back at work! As much as I hanker for positive posts, I also believe it is good to be as honest as possible about the bumps in the road, too. Now I understand why everyone calls this a journey and I feel in my bones that it is not anywhere near being an easy way out. So, from now on, I look forward and keep survival and optimum health as my holy grails. RIP recreational/emotional eating; hello food as fuel to nourish my body. Looking forward to exploring new hobbies. Baby steps, baby steps.

So I started having increasing right side pains that would come and go. Didn't really pay much attention to it until getting ready for bed a few nights ago I was struck with such intense pain I was crying like a baby. It went from my right side to my chest to between my shoulder blades. I'm not a fan of my local ER the best one and the one my wls surgeon is at is 25 miles away (30mins if traffic is good) but I was willing to go local. My first thought was "omg ill feel better if I throw up!" We'll that didn't take long for that to happen but since I hadn't eaten in about 2 hrs I just dry heaved (ouch!) as soon as I convenced my husband lets go I'm dying it disappeared! So he then thought I was crazy. Called my doctor in the morning and a few test later my gallbladder is the culprit. Now yes it was an option to remove with wls surgery but my stupid ins wouldn't cover it because there wasn't a problem with it so now I have to have it out their paying. So Monday it is and I'm so ready because these sporadic attacks hurt!