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WLS is not Cover Girl. Easy Breezy is not a definition that can be used when talking about WLS. In reading the comments posted on Fox News regaurding Gov. Christie's lapband surgery, I was disturbed to see that people still see WLS as the easy way out. What I would like to know is what part of major surgery is easy? While lapband surgery is not a horrible ordeal to face, it isn't all sugar plums and roses. I was sick after surgery, felt like crap. Then I had trouble taking in enough. Then I was starving hungry. Then when I started eating again I was terrified. As the first 50 lbs melted away I was thrilled with my decision to have lapband, once I got past the 199 mark, the next 10 lbs took 4 months! I am still very glad I choose this change and committed to it. Just because you have WLS doesn't mean your cravings, desires, wants disappear. We have to learn to manage these things. WLS success requires a huge committment to change your lifestyle. This pathway to health is worth it, but it is far from easy. May 22nd I will be 11 months post op and I have gone from 244 to 188. I have gone from wearing a tight 18W to a very comfy 14. I know longer wear the 1-2X shirts, I know easily wear a large. These things are awesome and make then changes I committed to well worth the struggle. Every day brings with it a new set of challenges, opticles, highs and lows, but it is worth it to finally feel "normal". I no longer walk into places and feel like people are looking at me due to my weight. I am no longer paranoid over it (well almost there). I love walking into stores and being able to find cute clothes. I walked past the Women's sizes the other day in Belk and saw a cute top- guess what all they had were to big for me . My husband hugs me and comments frequently how small I feel and how proud he is of me. So no matter how people view the surgery, no matter if it is hard or easy, I don't give a rats bootie- this is my life and I choose health. I choose to change. I am on this journey. I still have 45 lbs left to loose. I won't make it to goal in a year. But by golly I will make it. One day, I will see the blessed 140's. I am not sure how much more changing and rearranging I will have to do to my life style, but I am committed and I will do what I must to finally acheive my dreams!

This seems to be a topic that comes up often so I will try to explain all of them and how they happen. Over eating causes your 2-4 ounce pouch to stretch and force food up into your esophagus causing it to dilate. Just because people think that food does not stay in the pouch long that is not true as you get tighter. The food takes longer to go down and eating fast or over eating causes pouch stretching. Band erosion is also caused from over eating. Imagine your band around your stomach and every time you over eat you are forcing your band into the stomach wall. Over a period of time your stomach tissue will wear away and your band will erode into your stomach causing your stomach contents to go into your abdominal cavity which is poison to your system. If you feel like food is backing up into your throat then you are over eating. I know some people eat a cup of food but if you look at most pictures of the band and ask your doctor how much food will my pouch hold not how big is my band, I am sure they will tell you 4 ounces which is a half cup of food. Now the cup to half cup can be debated all day long but the fact is if you over eat which ever that means for you, you are risking your pouch to stretch, dilate your esophagus (which will cause problems pushing the food down) and band erosion. Take your time to eat, don't over eat and take care of your band and yourself so that it can last a long time. Also being too tight can add to much pressure to the band and cause it to erode also. So make wise choices when eating and getting fills.

9 weeks post op and I didn't lose any weight this week. But it's all good! I have been hitting the gym pretty hard so I'm good with no loss. My pants are loser and I definitely feel better! I'm trying to get to the gym at least 5 days a week. I'm doing 3 days of swimming laps and 2 days of cardio (as in eliptical or treadmill) and weights. Then in addition to the planned days I'm also taking the kids over to the gym on the weekends to swim so I'm getting additional activity that way. AND my stepdaughter is doing the P90X ab workout, so she's got me doing what I can on that. (It's pretty ugly, but I'm trying) My husband decided he needed to keep up with me. So he started going to the gym with me a couple days a week and cut out his sugary treats...and in one week HE lost 7#!!! Isn't that the way it always works?? I'm working my butt off and he just cuts back and loses! LOL... Heaviest Weight: 281 3/6/13 Surgery: 257 (-24) 3/13/13: 251 (-6) 3/20/13: 245 (-6) 3/28/13: 238 (-7) 4/3/13: 238 (-0) FIRST MONTH -19# 4/10/13: 237 (-1) 4/17/13: 235 (-2) 4/24/13: 233 (-2) 5/2/13: 229 (-4) SECOND MONTH -9# 5/8/13: 229 (-0)

The last week I have been BUSY!!! I spent most of last week in classes to learn about the new software system we are switching over to this summer. This was a very technical class, that left my brain in mush mode by night. In an effort not to back track on my success I opted to take a page from Carolina Girls book. I made my little cups of chicken salad (chicken, apples, grapes and pecan) were fixed in my fridge. I also had more apples and grapes in there, along with the staple of weight watchers cheese sticks. Each morning I would pack my little bag and take it with me to class. Taking my lunch allowed me to stay in during lunch and play with the training database more and talk to the teacher to get more info. The great thing I found by doing this is it works!! I stuck to my portion size and found that I didn't get hungry, I never felt bloted or bad. So this week rather than chicken salad I make homemade fresh tuna salad for my lunches. Again this is great and keeps me from just grabing anything for lunch. So I have to say thanks to Carolina Girl for putting out there what works for her. Unlike, CG, I can't do carbless. As she said that is her choice, but I have always been a carb aholic so I know long term carbless wouldn't work for me. So in an effort to do better, I have opted to go carbless for one meal a day. On my fidge is a list, each day with what I will do for breakfast and what I will cook for dinner. This way I can plan, get fresh groceries, and make sure one carbless meal gets in a day. My fresh veggies and fruit also don't spoil this way. In my fridge I have the shelf that is at my eye level full of my fruits and veggies and healthy options- this helps me make good choices. Now if I can manage to kick it to the next level and get back into a regular work out routine rather than the sporatic one I have been one of late. A bit of advice for newbies and oldies.... read what works for others, pull some of it and try it, see what works for you. We are all different, but by putting what works for us out there we might help others so talk, read, learn!!

Wow one week has passed since I got banded. So how do I feel? I feel……. The same. Weird huh? My incisions are a constant reminder that I have something inside me that is waiting to work. Why did I say that? Because my support system (i.e. my family and friends) are asking me food related questions that I can’t answer. For example my 30th birthday is less than 2 months away and I know they want to throw me a lap band friendly party. I just love that their hearts are in the right place but it’s hard to explain to them that I do not know what me and the band can tolerate. Based on my research I found some people can eat everything they want including breads and pastas. Then I found people who cannot eat breads, pastas, and certain fruits. I would like to be one of those people that can eat whatever I want just in moderations. But time would tell. I am no longer starving like Marvin. I called my surgeon office and they told me to try to add more fluids in and I did. But I had the weirdest dream last night and I would like to share with you. I have a confession to make. I have a crush on Bobby Deen I don’t care he is engaged I still have crush on him. Anyway I had a dream that I was did a cooking show with him and his mama Paula Deen. I guess me dreaming about food comes in different ways… LOL Oh I almost forgot to mention my total weight loss. Last year in August I weigh 267 with me preparing and doing the 2 week liquid diet as of today I weigh 235! That 32 pounds…. Gone! I am feeling amazing right now! For those who are concerned about me watching the Blues Games tonight…. I will have my pillow close at hand. Thanks for reading

I had my 3rd nutrition appointment yesterday and I am scared! I KNOW that the benefits outweigh the stuff I’m going to have to give up, I just need to get these thoughts on to paper…maybe that will help. I’m feeling guilty that I’m even having these thoughts because I want this surgery so badly. I worry that if I’m having these thoughts am I going to fail, or is this what everyone else thinks prior to surgery and this is normal??? Here is what worries me. One of the things she said was after surgery, don’t drink water (or any other beverage) 30 minutes before, don’t drink during and don’t drink an hour after a meal. When I asked why she said that water speeds up the digestion process and will cause your teeny stomach to digest even faster, which will make you hungry earlier. Makes sense, but I don’t like it! I ALWAYS drink water with my meals, always. I know that in the grand-scheme of things not drinking water at a meal isn’t a big deal…for a few meals, but for the rest of my life??? next is eating meat. She said that after surgery a lot of people can’t really digest meat any longer. She also said that meat isn’t really all that great for you (I’ve heard this before) so that it’s really not a big deal. Well I know health-wise it’s not a big deal, but after having such a love-affair with food for so long, I worry that I will be sad when I can’t order a nice, juicy steak. It’s easy to say something isn’t a ‘big deal’ when you’re not an addict. I’m a food addict. Everything when it comes to food is a ‘big deal’. Portion sizes. She said that your portion size goes down to like the size of the palm of your hand. Holy cow. I don’t eat to be “full” I eat, and eat and eat because I like the flavor of food…to only be able to eat that small of a portion….will I regret having this surgery and will that in turn make me miserable? I WANT to give up needing the comfort of food. I WANT to not overeat any time I sit down to a meal. I want to have something stronger than ME controlling what I put in to my mouth because I just can’t control what I eat at times. I’ve tried so hard and after a few weeks of great will power I succumb and let weeks of good choices go down the drain in a few meals. I know that on the outside looking in these are all really stupid reasons to be concerned. I know that when I read them tomorrow I will look at them and wonder what I was thinking. But right now, today, right in this moment I wonder if the fact that I’m having these thoughts means that I am not in the right place, mentally to have the surgery. Ugh, this sucks! I guess yesterday in talking about everything it just hit me hard that once I have this there’s no going back. Don’t get me wrong - - once I leave this fat, unhealthy body I don’t WANT to go back to where I am right now…it’s just so final and official. I HATE FOOD AND THE CONTROL IT HAS OVER ME!!! I hate the fact that I am doing things to my body that I know if it continues will kill me, yet I am questioning letting it go...I hate this. I think for the first time in my life I am feeling what a drug-user feels! The 'knowing' that you need to give something up, yet the longing for the relationship and comfort that it gives. Not cool, not wanted and not welcome in my brain!

Yesterday was my first Options class at Kaiser Permanente. We had to weigh in prior to the actual session and it looks like I barley skimmed the 40 BMI >.< I'm just happy that I'm finally here and I'm on my way to getting sleeved if everything goes as planned. They want me to loose 10% of my body weight, so probably about 15 pounds. I don't think that should be too hard if I eliminate all fast foods since lately that's what I've been having for breakfast & dinner. I'm also going to start my green teas and smoothies as well as eating lots of healthy foods again. Maybe I could walk the park while the kids have baseball practice too. This weekend is Mothers Day weekend and I'm going to Las Vegas! SO.... I'm just going to make sure to choose healthy when eating.... but I'm not going to skip the alcohol =) So happy! I can already see future healthier & skinny self! -R

My oh my, it has been a long minutes since I have posted anything. It's hard for me to come to this site now as much as I did before I was banded. I think I used this site as a distraction from the waiting for surgery. Now that I'm banded I am distracted by the fact that this is a lifetime commitment to change and dedication. Figuring out what works for me, what doesn't work. How to find a substitute for the things that I can't stand and for things to feel somewhat normal to me. After my first fill I was a bit upset that my band is now half full and I'm not even two months into my journey. And while explaining my feelings to Ty he calmly looked at me and said, "You're going to have to make it work. It's not like they are going to go in and remove your band to replace it with a bigger one. It's a shitty mistake but you didn't like surgery, so now make it work." And he's right. Surgery was pretty much the most traumatic thing I have ever done in my life and I would be plenty happy never doing it again. But for the good things; -My old clothes are starting to fit -I'm getting stronger at the gym -I was invited to join a masters swim team * not sure if I'm ready, they are swimming about double the amount of yards that I swim currently :/ * -Running my first 5k of the year this Sunday... maybe... it might rain and it's the color run. That doesn't really mix well. To follow me better find me on instagram, I post pictures daily! Screen name: Shell_lb