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I am so sorry....my heart hurts for you. You did the right thing and count this as a blessing. It may not feel like a blessing but God just did you a huge favor. Now it's time to focus on the amazing future ahead....with you leading the charge. Remember that courage is found when times are tough. You have courage.

hi jillian, i'm sorry to hear what a bad time youve had personally, but there is light at the end of the tunnel, you are going for this amazing surgery and it will give you much more self confidence. I am only 3 weeks out, but already feeling more attractive and better about myself. I am also a woman who has delt with infidelity and I know how bad that is on your self esteem. But remember they become x's for a reason!! I am now happily married and have been for 5 years (he was also cheated on) life gets better and with the new you around the corner there will be no stopping you healing that heart!! best of luck rachel.

I had a few things too... but I put them on a list, and I ate them one day after another (one day was a pizza burger, the next day sausage gravy and biscuits, chocloate in the afternoon... etc). Packing it all in was a sure fire way of making me feel like crap and getting me ready to start gearing down for the pre op diet. I chose to phase my foods out. The first week was junk food and coffee (TOUGH WEEK), the next week was complex carbs, this week I am dropping fat and eating even less, and starting friday my actual pre-op two shakes and a low carb dinner....(fish or chicken and either green beans, mushrooms or cauliflower). Just remember, food is NOT going to leave the planet. We just have to learn like babies how to eat all over again, and once you hit goal, of course you can have a taste or a nibble of your favorites now and again... its what its all about right? Everything in moderation... with our new skinny stomachs and matching lean bodies!!

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I feel surprisingly better today. I still have a little anxious tugging feeling in my heart now and again, but after a good nights sleep (he still didnt show up or call or even text) I feel like I am seeing things more clearly. I am too old for this crap and I have a wonderful baby to think about. I wouldnt take this nonscense from my ex husband, I wont take it from Justin. You guys are right... 15 more days until my flight - pre-op diet starts tomorrow (just have to tweak what I am doing now)... so lots to focus on.

Oh, my heart breaks for you. I also have been exactly where you are and it's such a horrible time. Just try to focus on positive things... You are heading down a new path now and life will only get better and better. You deserve to be happy and to be treated like a princess.. It's funny how life turns out though always when a door closes, a window will open and just around the corner is your Prince Charming. Take care and know that us on line friends are only a click away.... Out here in cyber space I will be thinking of you and your little boy. I hope that you find true happiness. Take care, chin up and soldier on xx

Great post AJ! I chose not to give up my 1 glass of morning iced coffee...my surgeon knows, and does not approve. If I changed everything in my life I would have been feeling resentful. Coffee helps me stay dedicated and focused with the rest of my meals. I allow for it in my plan. End of story! Enjoy your wine!

Awwwh AJ... I feel your pain. Today is a new day and I respect you for blogging about it. Look hard for a trigger, tired, bored, lonely. You logged it so now move forward. One slipo does not a future make! Love you! <Hugs>

It's over with and tomorrow is a new day. You are not a failure, you slipped, we all do some times. Thank you for sharing this. It helps me and I am sure others, that no one is ever perfect. I eat more than 1 cup at dinner. Have a better tomorrow. Hugs, Arlene

My prayers are with you during this very stressful time for you. you could start caling your insurance co every few days. Some one on this site had recommended that to me when I had a crunch time date due to my work. It did help. Always talk to them with the utmost respect. Use a lot of please and thank yous....even explain the situation. Use their names while you talk. and.....follow up with another call. When you do get the approval, ask them to fax it to your surgeons office instead of mailing it. Good luck!

"Right now, I want to succeed, but the fear is that the greater the success the more terrible will be the tragedy of my eventual failure. Yes, I know this is not a productive thought process, but as we all know the band only works on your stomach, not your head." Every diet I have ever been on, I was extremely successful, some of them for 6 months or more!!! Only to fail, have everything revert back to as it was before....if not worse. not to mention what it did for my self esteem and self confidence. Now, with the band, as good as my progress was, I was scared as all heck tha eventually the bubble was going to burst, as before so many times, and I would be as depressed as can be...surgery being my last resort. But slowly and surley my confidence rose, realizing that this is different. That this is real! I put it to the test...we were on a cruise, 9 nights, surrounded by all the food and drink one can ever want any time of day....I decided to let it hang out there and see what the band would do...not even think about it, just be as natural as can be.... I did exercise every morning, had a case of water deliverd to our stateroom, and brought protein shots with me to have one per day first thing in the morning...other than that I was just a guy on vacation out to enjoy himself.....and get his moneys worth. Bottom line...I did not gain a single pound....my little experiment showed the band is the same no matter where I am or what may be put before me.... I now now know this is for real! This is different indeed......I told my Dr. this once and he said "You Had Surgery..what did you expect?" (DUH) Asisde from some medical issue that may arise, (which aslo scares me and I analyze every post) this is not going to change.....(knock on wood)