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Moments away from getting on the shuttle to Mexico. No turning back now. Everyone here has given me the courage to move onward. It's my turn.

One of the scariest or infuriating things I encounter is when I've made a new low on the scale and then gain back 3 or 5 pounds in the next few days. And then it takes a week to get back where I was. I know it's just my body getting adjusted to my new lifestyle, but it is infuriating to see it happen. After reading so many success stories about losing 20 plus pounds per month in the 1st 6 months, I WANT IT TOO! Not 10, not 15, I want my 20+ pound loss, just like clockwork - gimme, gimme, gimme! But that isn't the way my body wants to do it. So I'll just have to get used to the way it works. In fact, the gains are my fault. I allow myself a "cheat" meal on Saturday nights and one more on Sundays when I visit my parents (twice a month). It's not that I eat more food, it's just less healthy. For example: Friday morning weight in: 296.8 Saturday night was Golden Corral buffet night. Over the hour I was there, I had about 4oz of meatloaf, 1 fried chicken strip, 1 big cauliflower floret w/cheese, about 2 tablespoons of Shepard's pie and about 1/2 of some kind of pecan gooey thing. I didn't stuff myself, just ate until I was full, waited while my friend hit the buffet again, and I ate a little here and there as my stomach emptied. The following Sunday happened to be one of the 2 days a month I visit my parents. At lunch we had Churches fried chicken. I had 1 fried breast, 1 single serving of mashed potatoes, and 1 biscuit. This is not the normal fare, usually mom cooks meat and vegetables. I wasn't able to eat the whole thing in one sitting. I broke it into 2 meals, one at 11am, the 2nd at 2pm. The rest of my meals for the weekend were my normal fare: turkey hamburger w/cheese and spaghetti sauce or turkey hamburger w/gravy and chopped cauliflower. In a 4oz bowl. Monday morning weigh in: 302.4 - almost a 6 pound gain! I can only assume that all the salt and sodium caused quite a bit of water retention. I don't believe I really over did it too much on the calories. Now it's Thursday - 4 days later - and I'm back down to 298.4 - 4 pounds. Not surprising really, it's happened more than once. That doesn't mean I have to like it! I think it might be a good thing to switch up foods this way, my body won't get accustomed to a certain calorie count/protein/carb/fat intake. I just won't go overboard on the bad stuff and eat it more than 6 meals a month. Now if only I can get over my fear of seeing the scale move up instead of down! And I'll watch and see how my body reacts long term. If turns out that it's causing stalls or long term weight gain, I'll have to go back to the basic diet and cut out the bad stuff. NSV! Now, where's my light saber? I have to punch a new hole in my belt.

Even though we all know we should, many of us fail to listen to what our docs and NUTs have to say; some in major ways, some in small. Now in the major ways I always listen to my doctor, I am to afraid not to. I do not want complications. But, in small ways, I fail at times. For instance, in March I went to see my doc for my 9 month check up. We discussed how I was doing- good, felt good, not getting hungry, eating 3 meals a day. I track calories in and I track by my fitbit how many calories I use- I showed the doc. During all this I was complaining that my weight loss seems to have slowed almost to a stop. After reviewing my intake and calorie burn (1200-1300 calories - 2100 to 2200 calories out), the PA said I wasn't eating enough. Now I have been over weight since I was 5 years old. Never have I been told I wasn't eating enough. I was terrified that this would cause me to regain some of what I'd lost, but I tried for a few days, a couple more pounds came off. Then I was headed out on vacation. The hubs and I went to Florida for a week and took in Disney and Sea World. During this time I was also on my monthly cycle. My band was really tight and I had a really hard time eating, even yogurt was a struggle in the morning. I was burning close to 3000 calories a day due to all the walking. When I return my weight was up 4 lbs - WTH, I hardly ate? I figured some was salt intake and apparently that was true. In a week of being back on schedule I was back down to pretrip weight. This week since being really back to normal I have increase my protein intake and started eating snacks as my doctor recommended. All week I have stayed at the 190 weight. Each day I have eaten a snack of 1 weight watchers cheese stick and about 12 grapes (if I didn't want grapes I ate half of an apple). I found this was a tasty snack and I never got hungry, always kept a satisfied feeling. This morning my weight dropped to 189.8!! Ok, this is big to me. Okay TMI I know, but I haven't gone number 2 in 3 days. So being that I haven't really pottied well and my weight went down make me feel really good. Maybe I should listen and heed instead of just hearing every little tid bit the doc says!!

It's been a while since I've been on this site. It's always good to come back. I simply have been very busy and when I have extra time these days, I am usually choosing to workout rather than get on the internet. Yes, that is a lifestyle change in my new awesome sleeved body!! :-) So..., I'm at the salad bar at my work and see a colleague coming towards me that I haven't seen for a bit. She says..."I saw you, recognized your hair, took a second look, and thought no that is not her, but then..., YES it is You! YOU look fantastic! You are so thin, healthy, fit and glowing! I have to contribute it to my sleeve, incorporating a plant-based diet, daily hardcore exercise, and loving life! Those kinds of comments sure do give a boost and affirmation for all the hard work. YEAH! I can not tell you how fabulous I feel. VSG = the best decision, for me, EVER!

Well, it's official. My surgery is on the 27th. The good news is that my pre-op diet is only for 5 days and it won't be too much of an alteration of my current eating habits. From my research, I already had a good idea of what the pre-op diet was going to be like, just didn't know how long I would be expected to be on it. I had prepared myself mentally for a 2 week liquid diet. So it was really a surprise to hear that it is only 5 days and I can drink as much of the high protein/low carb shakes as I want and eat soups (like chicken noodle) as long as they don't contain high carb vegies like potatoes. I've already figured out a combination of dutch chocolate EAS carb control shakes with 1 scoop of Total Soy (chocolate) that tastes great and has a combined 30 grams of protein and 11 grams of carbs per 20 oz shake. I highly recommend getting a shaker bottle with the little ball spring inside. It really breaks up the Total Soy powder making a smooth creamy shake. I bought a 2 pack at Sam's club for $12, and I saw them at Wal-Mart for $7 each. But with the 2 pack I can keep one at work and one at home. I figure I'm having the same thoughts and feelings as others in the pre-op stage. So I wanted to share a moment I had last week that makes me laugh at myself now. I had a small panic attack until I realized how stupid it was. I actually got worried that post op, I wouldn't be able to eat as much I as I could in the past. Stupid, right? But I guess it plays on my basic fear of change. How am I going to handle being thinner and how people will react and treat me at work and socially. As it is, I have 40 years of knowing how people treat the fat me. Now, I have to worry about how people will treat me as a thin person.

I'm a couple days late, so I'm down a few more pounds than I would have been, but I'm ok with that! As of today, I'm at 273. That's 42 pounds down, and down ten since my last weigh in! Feeling awesome! This is only 3 pounds away from my first goal weight, and 33 pounds away from my second goal weight (240, my pre-college weight). A lot of the credit goes to getting my first fill. Going back on liquids will definitely do that for ya haha. On the day of surgery, I was given 2 ccs of saline, and my doctor added another two on Tuesday, bringing me to a total of 4 ccs. I haven't experienced any vomiting or feeling 'stuck'. I do have to take MUCH smaller sips. I had gotten to a point where I could drink like normal right before the fill, and now I have to be really careful to not swallow to much at once (even water). I can start adding chewable foods back in today but I'm scared! I had cottage cheese yesterday and it went alright, but other than that I stuck to protein shakes. In a few more days I can actually start eating 'real' food again, like vegetable and such. I miss salad! But at the same time, I feel a lot more in control with such a restricted diet. Its hard to cheat when you know eating the wrong thing can make you really sick!

Has anyone chosen to buy a sleeve or ace wrap to bind your tummy after surgery? I am 3 days post op and I am finding my incisions painful and my belly jiggles a bit.

I think most of us have had a love hate relationship with something- our cell phone, our job, heck even our spouse. It is also easy to have a love hate relationship with the band. I do love mine, don't get me wrong, but some times that little plastic makes my life hell. For instand on my vacay, I ended up being stuck most of the trip, I couldn't eat much of anything. Sometimes eating slow is a problem especially when you are busy or in meeting- a quick bite gets you stuck quick. However, because of my band I have learned so much. I am eating better foods. Yesterday when I hit WallyWorld for grocery day I noticed as I was placing my groceries on the checkout how my buying has changed. I buy very little from the interior of the store- the highly processed, sodium rich, high cal foods. Most of what is in my cart is water, water packs, yogurt, milk fresh meats, frozen and fresh veggies. I like this change. Due to the change of what I am eating I feel better, I breath better, I move better, basically I am better. So my relationship with my band is way more love than hate. It is so easy to get frustrated on this journey and blame our band and say we hate it, or it's not working, but before we say that we need to ask ourself are we working it. You car can't get you any where unless you drive it, you band won't get you to goal unless you work it. Yes, you can have bump ups and your car might even break down - but you must fix it and keep on truckin. Everything including our band journey is a process. The band plays it's role, we must play ours, our doctor has theirs, and our nutrtionist has theirs. All the players must do their part or the journey gets off course. Are you doing your part?

i often get asked how do you stay so focused and positive. The answer easy, I look in the mirror every morning and I love what I see, I stand on the scales and I love what I see, I get to go shopping and wear pretty much anything I want! So I ask Why would I not stay focused and positive when this process has worked so well for me? Has it been easy NO!!! but what is worth achieving with out hard work and dedication? I will tell you something that has helped me and that is my positive outlook and commitment to this process. I have learned from both my positive experiences and my negative experiences. I have learned that I am far from perfect and can learn from everyone, even the ones who are struggling. I am just Polly Anna enough to believe that anything worth achieving is worth working hard for and I also believe that most people are good. Now I have been burnt a couple of times in my life but this does not prevent me from still believing in people. So I share with you this morning some positive affirmations for a healthy happy weight loss journey. I write them on my mirror, I post them in my office and on my refrigerator and share them with my friends. This is my trick for staying focused and realizing my dream of a thinner, healthier me. A list of positive Affirmations for Weight Loss I achieve my weight loss goals Losing weight comes naturally to me I choose nourishing, healthy foods I think before eating I drink lots of water Losing weight is fun Healthy foods taste better I am motivated by both successes and failures I accept and love my body as it is, and work to make it better I love challenges and embrace them I lose weight systematically and I keep it off permanently I am losing weight I exercise because it makes me feel good I respect my body and treat it with respect I do everything I need to do to achieve my healthy weight I am encouraged by every success I am motivated by every shortfall Losing weight and I are one I dissolve all blocks to reaching a healthy weight I forgive myself I learn from my mistakes I fill all physical appetites in physically healthy ways I am aware of my eating habits and how they affect my weight I am willing to change my eating habits and I do so easily I build lean muscle and I lose fat I enjoy the process of reaching a healthy weight I see myself at my healthy weight and I achieve it I have non-stop daily determination to reach my healthy weight I like long walks It is easy for me to stay on my plan to obtain my healthy weight I picture myself at my perfect weight I have a positive attitude about what I eat, how I eat, and when I eat My body burns fat like a furnace Developing healthy eating habits becomes easier each day I stay on a healthy eating plan and maintain my healthy weight easily Each day, I automatically and successfully get healthier and healthier Happy Sunday all and wishing you continued success to achieving your goals!

Well I just thought I would blog a little tonight. We have all made it through Thanksgiving but we still have Christmas and New Years to survive and oh let's not forget all the wonderful goodies that will be floating around the office and at families and friends houses all holiday season... So that is what brings me to my topic today: Fad diets and Lap Band, "This is not a Diet" First I have a couple of questions: 1. How many of you have stopped losing and felt frustrated with the band? 2. How many of you have been so frustrated that you were tempted to fall right back into the dieting yo-yo behaviors of the past? 3. How many of you have been tempted to just leave your band a little tight so you would lose weight faster? 4. How many of you have been tempted to go back to phase one of eating, you know shakes,liquidsiguids, etc? 5. How many of you have been so desperate to see that scale move that you would just about try anything? Well if this is YOU, than STOP! Living with Lapband is not about fad diets and continuing some of the same behaviors that got us to this point in the first place. This is a life style change and none of us got obese over night, so why do we expect to become thin over night. Simple: It is just human nature and we live in an instant gratification superficial society. I posted a book in a blog several months ago and I am reposting tonight for those of you who want to continue to use your lap band as the tool it was intended. This was a book written by a lap band surgeon after studying patients who were committed to losing 90-100% of their excess body weight. I was one of those people who was stalled, no matter what I did the scale sat there and taunted me with the same numbers day after day. I was one of those who looked over and over my diary sheets trying to find out what I was doing wrong. So why didn't the scale move? To lose weight you have to eat 3500 calories less than your body needs to drop "1" pound. Now does everyone really understand what that means, I didn't. Well that's not true, I had read that before and I did know it but I didn't really get "it". Basically you have to eat less and do more but there is a perfect balance of how many calories you need to take in so your body does not think you are starving. Everyone needs to know what their BMR is and understand what that means. This is the amount of calories your body needs just to maintain a normal day of sleeping, eating, working and playing. Everyone;s is different and based on how active you are. I have a sedentary life style, I work in an office and I am basically inactive 10-12 hours a day, moderately active about 2 hours a day and maybe very active about 1 hour a day (if I go to the gym) I really began to understand this once I started wearing my Fit Bit and it took me weeks even wearing this before I really understood why my scales were not moving. I was eating band friendly foods, eating within my allotted calories and portions but the scale would move small increments or not at all. When I started to really analyze my intake and activity I finally started to realize i was losing what was expected due to my intake and my activity. Well I knew i was not going to eat less so I made a decision to be more active. I increased my protein intake, did cardio 5 days a week and strength training 3 days a week. Basically I became recommitted to my band and to living healthy. I had the eating part down but the activity part I still struggled with, I was inconsistant with my exercise and the level and intensity of the exercise. This is not an easy journey by far but it is achievable with dedication, accountability and true grit! No one told us this would be easy! No one told us this would happen over night! And they did tell us we would have to follow the rules and learn to make the band work for us. Key words, "Make the Band Work for Us!" So for all you Newbies out there please realize that success with Lap Band can be a reality, it does take hard work and it is worth every new lesson you learn along the way. When reading the forums learn from both the postive and the negative, there is something that can be learned from everyones successes and failures. So as promised, attached is the book by Dr. Simpson, "The Last 30 Pounds" . Wishing everyone a Very Happy Holiday Season, and remember this is not a "DIEt" The Last 30 Pounds.pdf