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First off, I don't believe in being coddled. I understand people post on forums because they are looking for moral support or advice, but sometimes they expect too much. What I mean to say is if someone posts on a forum, then they need to expect to be supported even if it means being challenged! I can understand if the person posting is doing everything right to a tee and still not losing weight or hitting stalls, then yes they do need complete moral support because they are not in control. It might be metabolic, hormonal, genetic etc. The people I am talking about are those that don't get enough protein in, eat too many carbs, don't exercise enough and then complain on the forums. I see it quite a bit actually and usually just refrain from answering. In general, the same people posting and whining, are the same ones that get offended when others offer constructive criticism on why his or her weight loss has stalled or is slow. Being coddled will get you know where. If you really are in this to lose weight, then you should be willing to listen to the things you "might" not be doing right. We all know everyone is different, but when it comes to weight loss there is a general trend that works BETTER than other ways. Of course, there is a respectful way of disagreeing. I don't agree with the name calling, or yelling, or the "i did it this way and I lost this much weight". In a recent forum, I witnessed someone trying to tell the original poster that they didn't think what they were doing was working for them and offered advice. He wasn't disrespectful in any way. It just sounded like he disagreed. Well, the original poster got upset and then it all went downhill. It kind of got out of hand and everyone started chiming in. It was like the original poster just wanted to hear things that supported her, and nothing else. I think people just need to understand that sometimes being challenged and having someone disagree with you is in support. Would you want to go to the doctor and have them tell you there is nothing wrong with you just to make you feel better? Wouldn't you want the doctor to help figure out what is wrong with you and what you can do to get better? Granted, most of us are not doctors, but you get what I am saying? Having a vertical sleeve is a very personal experience. Some people get it and lose weight effortlessly. Others have to work harder and try everything possible to lose weight at a faster rate. If you have a question or a concern and post it on a forum, then you must be willing to get responses both agreeing and disagreeing, but all supportive. If you are looking for people who will simply shake his or her head "yes" to everything you say, then make a friend and send private messages. You can live happily in your bubble of only hearing what you want. *Note: I am not a "yes" woman. I am going to tell you what I did and what I helped and give you suggestions in a nice way. If I think you are doing something that isn't healthy or could stall your weight loss, then I am going to let you know because I would rather truly help you than watch you struggle and whine and complain. This is the type of friend I am and those are the type of friends I want.

Where do I start.....I want to be...no I AM going to be a great success story. My story...I was banded March 18, 2013. Starting weight...gasp...326...weight right now...291....YES!!! 35 flipping pounds. Havent lost that much on a diet since FEN-Phen..in 1995. And I am still going. My family is very supportive. The husband couldnt be happier. I am making this work. ME!!! I think this is the best thing I have ever done! I cannot lie and say part of me didnt take my relationship into account. I did not do this solely for myself. I did it also for a healthier, happier, sexier, and deeper relationship. But, in the end, it was ME that did it, I did it for ME to be happier. And oh baby am I ever...ALREADY!! Its only been 2 months into this process, I cannot fathom a year from now. So, I have a long-term goal. I want to be 190 pounds. More will be fine...even though the other half doesnt want me "too skinny"...whatever that is...lol. I just want under 200. Not seen that number since high school. I would say I want to be a size 12...but Im not sure what poundage goes with sizes...so I just go with pounds. I have set a mini-goal for my self. My youngest step-daughter graduates high school June 7. I want to loose a total of 50 pounds by then...which means I only have 15 left to go...in 2 months. Which is sooo totally do-able. I will have to increase that weight loss shortly!!! HAHA!! So this is me. The beginning of my story. Watch and see where I go....

10 days ago,while on holiday no less,I stopped smoking.It has been a challenge but I am not going to smoke again.I decided not to stress too much about my eating as I have visitors that eats nothing but junk and carbs.They do not eat any of the food we usually eat.For some reason this made me super self concious and I started cooking rubbish and eating it too. Yesterday I weighed and was up 5 pounds already.This made me realize a couple of things.This is out life and my house.If they dont like the food we usually eat,let them either cook for themselves or go get takeouts.My kids have alos gained weight already and my little 12 year old is a gymnast and competition time is coming up.She cannot afford to gain weight now. So I started cooking healthy foods again and I am down 2 pounds already.Avoiding the carbs just a little and sugar completely.Sugar is not my friend..lol. The health issues are still there but as soon as the visitors are gone I will see the phycisian again.My hands and feet are a little better but I still have a lot of pain.The bruising comes and goes and the back and neck ache seems to be under control. Life is good.I have decided to tackle issues as they come up and not regret anything about having the sleeve.I LIKE BEING THINNER THAN EVERYONE ELSE.it makes me feel great and I will keep it this way.No matter what. We stayed at a stunning resort last week.There were these "toys" (a trampoline a bananna slide ect ect) in the sea.Usually I couldnt get on these things and would never even attempt to.But with a little ecouragement from the kids I got onto each and everyone of those things and we had a ball of a time.This again made me realize how different life is now. Of course the fact that I fit into a size 10 (UK) freaked me out completely..lol.The size 36B bra is totally crazy as well. So,this is me for now.Enjoying life,trying to find the balance with the food and just getting use to the new normal I now live.

So today marks one month since surgery! My recovery from surgery itself has been remarkably easy and this month has been all about re-learning how to eat. So far I made it though my 2 weeks of liquids, and 2 weeks of soft foods. And I've got to add back in foods as tolerated. Well good news is so far I have been able to tolerate almost everything just fine. My portions are very small (obviously) but I haven't had a problem eating anything or having anything upset my stomach. Well except for too much sugar...that makes me trot to the bathroom super fast! But that's ok too...I'm not supposed to eat sugar anyway! The other thing this month has been about is all in my head. I put 3 oz of imitation crab on my plate and can finish 2…but my head says “it’s 2 bites you can finish it”. So far I have been able to NOT overfill my sleeve. I am a little afraid of vomiting. So far, I haven’t had a problem with this but after 2 years with the band and vomiting almost everyday it’s not something that I care to revisit. I am also in the middle of my first official stall. I only let myself weigh once a week or I can get a little obsessed with the number. But I have weighed the same since my 3 week weigh in….so that’s about 10 days. I know (in that logical part of my head) that I am re-adjusting after losing so much so fast. But, in that not so logical part of my head I really would like the scale to start moving. On the plus side, I am down a total of 43 since I started my pre-op diet, 19 since surgery, and a total of 10-3/4”…not too shabby!! Other people can see it more than me, my co-workers all tell me how “skinny” I look, and my husband says I’m melting. I know I’m wearing smaller jeans and I feel much better but even when I look at pictures I don’t see much yet. Heaviest Weight: 281 3/6/13 Surgery: 257 (-24) 3/13/13: 251 (-6) 3/20/13: 245 (-6) 3/28/13: 238 (-7) 4/3/13: 238 (-0) FIRST MONTH -19#

It will be two weeks tomorrow since I had my surgery. I am amazed at the changes that have taken place. In fact, I want to do the Snoopy dance because I am so grateful. As if this am, I weigh 204lbs unofficially. So, when I began four weeks ago I weighed 227lbs. I had two weeks of the Pre-Op diet and weighed 217. One week after surgery, while on the full liquid diet I weighed 211 pounds. Hopefully, at my two week visit on Tuesday(4 days away) I will be at 200 or (AHHH! Angels singing) One hundred and ninety-nine. Heavy sigh, it's been a few years since I was under 200 lbs. I believe it was 2005ish. I feel like I am getting my body back and I can move without being out of breath, slow and heavy or in pain. It's amazing!

Today was my 3 week post op appointment. I am doing incredibily well, all incisions are healing nicely, no side effects, no problems. I can drink all the liquid I need to, and am getting all my protein. I have been cleared to slowly and carefully start adding in other foods. And best of all I have lost 19 lbs since surgery and 43 total since I started the pre-op diet. 43!!! That is only 7 lbs less than I lost the entire 2 years I had the lap band. For anyone who is trying to decide between the lap band and the sleeve, or anyone considering converting from the lap band to the sleeve. I cannot say strongly enough...Go For The Sleeve!!! The difference is night and day. With the band I could eat very little, but I was always hungry (still had my whole stomach) with the sleeve, I can eat very little and I can honestly say I am full. For example at lunch today I had 4 oz of cottage cheese and 2 oz of imitation crab, and I couldn't finish it. Not only oould I physically not finish it, but I was honestly full! Whoot Whoot!!! Before the sleeve, I told my husband I never felt full until I was stuffed (which might explain my obesity I am so glad I did this!!! My husband says I'm melting before his eyes! Heaviest Weight: 281 3/6/13 Surgery: 257 (-24) 3/13/13: 251 (-6) 3/20/13: 245 (-6) 3/28/13: 238 (-7)

Still smarting from the verbal slap from my surgeon and PA. "Why didn't you come in sooner if it was that bad?" has been an earworm in my brain and I've been beating myself up...maybe I've not tried hard enough...maybe it's all in my head... Like a lot of women I put myself last before all my other "gotta do" responsibilities. Since even with the daily hurl, my weight pretty much stayed the same from July '12 until December '12 and other than annoyance of being sick, not being able to eat in public etc., I was otherwise healthy I dragged my heels on going to the doctor. Face it - after 2011's trip down breast cancer lane, I'd had enough doctors appointments. Going to my WLS cattle market with it's deli counter vibe - "Number 86", "Number 87"...was not something to look forward to. So I had to laugh when I got home yesterday to find a message on my voice mail advising me that my WLS,"Wasn't going to be in on X date and we've rescheduled your appointment to X...". Three weeks from now. So I guess it's okay for the Doctor to have other commitments arise but not for thePatient. In hindsight, yeah - it is "that bad". My weight is creeping up which only half surprises me. The list of what I can't eat gets longer and longer, but we all know the slider foods work especially when you're starving, on a short deadline... Yesterday was what I like to call "classic"... Even my thyroid medicine which I take first thing in the morning gives me the 'stop & drop' feeling. End up throwing up six times during the course of the day on food previously "safe". Often have a delay of 30 minutes or more following eating before getting sick which can be triggered by sitting down, or bending over. Often feels like it's not only food in the pouch, but food in my stomach coming back up. I so love having to not only make sure I'm still in my pj's to eat(bra and anything fitted on my waist and nothing's going down) but also having to wait to jump in the shower. Gee - if it's a day when I need to shave my legs, gotta make sure breakfast stays down as just bending over to shave could be lethal. Ah yes, totally normal and likely all my fault - she said, sarcastically!

This afternoon I had my one month check up with Dr. Fowler, although technically it is almost 5 weeks. According to his scale, I weighed in at 278. I weighed myself this morning and was 276 on my scale at home (which is a 1 lb difference from his...I already figured that out). So within a few hours I gained a couple pounds, but I'm not worried about it. I had done a lot of cardio and drank a lot before my afternoon appointment. I think I will stick to morning appointments from now on though because I don't like to see the number go up in a few hours ...no matter what the reason is. I was able to ask him some questions that I have been wondering. First, I had a 38 bougie used on my tummy. He said he always uses this size. He used to use anywhere between a 28 and 60, but over the years they have found that a 38 has had the least amount of complications. I was worried this was big and did some research on the net as to what the difference is between a 32 and a 38. Well, it is miniscule. Anyone who is worried that a 38 is too big has nothing to worry about. It is literally the diameter of a pen and a 32? Well just a smaller pen. Compared to the size of the stomach before it is a huge difference! I'm not worried anymore now that I understand how miniscule the differences are. I was also able to ask him about my calorie intake. It has been bothering me for some time that I am rarely hungry and get in about 300 to 600 calories daily. There are others who can eat twice as much as that and had surgery the same week. I was worried that I wasn't getting enough nutrition and that it might stall my weight loss. He basically told me not to worry about my calories. He said I wasn't losing weight super fast so it isn't even an issue. He just told me as long as I am getting my protein, water, and vitamins in that it basically doesn't matter. As to why I am rarely hungry, he said that was a sign that my body is still in ketosis. Yay! I feel so much better. I will not be forcing myself to get in more calories than my body wants anymore. I am just going to listen to my body. One more thing I have to work on is not eating until I am full. I want to learn how to eat until I am satisfied which requires me eating super slow. I still haven't mastered that one yet! But that is my goal as far as eating goes. I joined the gym today! Yep, I finally got down to it. I have had a gym membership pretty much my whole entire life except for the past two years. I canceled it because I just wasn't using it. Well, I joined. I actually sat in the car for a good half an hour just staring at the gym. I had a little anxiety about walking in there. Is everyone going to look at me? Are they going to be rude to me? Well I got over it. I just said in my mind I need to do this for me. I got signed up and did my 60 minutes of cardio. For me, it is so much easier working out in a gym setting. I hate working out at home. I love being able to focus on no one, but myself. I love blasting my music and tuning the whole world out. It is my peace and quiet time. I think that is why I used to love going to the gym before. It is almost like meditation for me. It was exciting and I am not even tired. So all in all, today was a good day. No, it was a great day! I am so looking forward to my weight loss with my tool and my newly added gym membership.