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Since I work about 12+ hours a day, I am always grateful for assistance with the housework. I was quite thrilled the other day to come home to find out that my mother completed two loads of wash for me. However, it quickly turned to dread when I discovered that my black dress pants that I wear to work were put into the dryer. Now, let me fill you in a little bit about my dress pants. We usually have a battle in the morning with zipping them up. I lay on the bed, wiggle around, and feel the pain throb on my finger as I try to get that zipper up. I would NEVER put them in the dryer as the heat from the dryer is not my friend! So I had to break down and wiggle my butt into Spanx and thought I had won the battle with my pants. Well...sort of... It was still a challenge. This is what I usually deal with and what I have been dealing with for quite some time. I was banded on March 4, took 2 weeks off from work, and during the first week back at work, I avoided my black pants since I was still sore in my stomach area. So here it is...Friday, March 30, and I have run out of options for clothing. There in my closet, looking ever so quiet (and a bit afraid of the battle that may ensue) are my black pants. Ugh! I am going to hate this beginning to a Friday morning I thought to myself. Well, here it goes. I decided not to go with the Spanx as sometimes it is not all that comfortable for sitting too long and I knew I had a meeting to attend that day. Obviously, I had been weighing myself since March 4 and thought, hmmmm... let's see if 20 pounds has made a difference in my world. (I have 130 more to lose...not real sure if 20 really made difference yet.) I put both legs in those pants, pulled them up, and got ready for the wrestling match on the bed. Much to my surprise, they zipped. I don't mean just zipped up....I mean they zipped without a 10 minute worm dance on my bed! I was thrilled! Beyond thrilled! These pants haven't seen a dryer for quite sometime so I just know it was thrilled too! No one at work has noticed the weight loss and I really don't expect anyone to notice until I buy new clothes and lose around 40 lbs. But my pants and I knew better that particular day. We were winning together! As I shut off the light in my bedroom, I thought I heard a small voice say, "I'm next" from the pair of pants (Size 16) that I wore several years ago when I lost 70 lbs. Yes...my friend...you are next! Just stay in that drawer a little bit longer. I am working on getting you out and about as soon as I can...and I promise we won't have a battle!

Looked back over my blogs and I realized I blogged about the day we went to the Third Day Concert (almost a year ago) and the shirt I wanted to wear didn't fit. Fast forward to today and I am wearing that shirt..the one that didn't fit!!! Hopefully the picture will attach. The pic on the left was last year and it's a picture of the Concert picture...but you get the idea. The one on the right is today. Not a before and after, but definitely a before and during!!

Today was my 3 week post op appointment. I am doing incredibily well, all incisions are healing nicely, no side effects, no problems. I can drink all the liquid I need to, and am getting all my protein. I have been cleared to slowly and carefully start adding in other foods. And best of all I have lost 19 lbs since surgery and 43 total since I started the pre-op diet. 43!!! That is only 7 lbs less than I lost the entire 2 years I had the lap band. For anyone who is trying to decide between the lap band and the sleeve, or anyone considering converting from the lap band to the sleeve. I cannot say strongly enough...Go For The Sleeve!!! The difference is night and day. With the band I could eat very little, but I was always hungry (still had my whole stomach) with the sleeve, I can eat very little and I can honestly say I am full. For example at lunch today I had 4 oz of cottage cheese and 2 oz of imitation crab, and I couldn't finish it. Not only oould I physically not finish it, but I was honestly full! Whoot Whoot!!! Before the sleeve, I told my husband I never felt full until I was stuffed (which might explain my obesity I am so glad I did this!!! My husband says I'm melting before his eyes! Heaviest Weight: 281 3/6/13 Surgery: 257 (-24) 3/13/13: 251 (-6) 3/20/13: 245 (-6) 3/28/13: 238 (-7)

It has been a while since I have written on my blog. Life is happening and I just haven't been able to sit down and put thoughts on the computer lately. So currently I am 2 1/2 months since surgery. Since my surgery date on January 11th 2013 I have lost 34 lbs. I had my second fill a week ago. So here is the tricky part. I do not feel I am doing enough or losing enough. However, I KNOW I am doing good. I have this inner conflict going on second guessing myself and longing for the day when I can look at my weight loss ticker and it does not say 121 lbs left to go! Now I am going to the gym, eating less and better than I ever have in my life and doing all the things my doctor is telling me to do. We even bought a grill so we could make sure we grill almost every single night. My husband has also started to lose weight. This is great! Why then is the girl in my head still telling me I am fat and gross? I drive my husband nuts. I ask him do you think i just ate too much? He looks at me like I grew a second head. For the first month he was convinced I was going to starve to death. When I saw my physician last week they were super excited I had lost 10lbs since my post op visit. All I could think was I could have lost more if I hadn't busted my ankle up. So I am wondering when this odd head game I am playing with myself will end and if anyone else has gone through this. When do you start seeing the healthier you? I know she is already here but I do not see her when I look in the mirror. I am extremely blessed. Aside from some annoying hair loss, I have not had any bad side effects at all. Except from a bit of a pull around my port area if I overdue the exercising I have no discomfort or pain. I breezed through bandster hell. I think it only lasted about 4 days for me before it was time for my first fill. I do get slightly hungry but i can manage this by scheduling my small meals. So the doctor and my nutritionist say to stop worrying about it. Slow and steady. There is a reason I picked this surgery and not one where I would drop 40lbs a month. I wanted it to be slower. I understood this and I need to stop obsessing about it. So when does what I know catch up to how I feel? I still extremely happy I have the band. I would not change it at all. I just wonder how do I change the way we are taught as heavy people to think about ourselves? I think I will make this my goal for the next month and the weight loss can be a side bonus.

OK, So this is my very first " public" blog. Let me start off by saying I am a 36 year old single mom of 4, live in Florida and currently I am waiting for my surgeon to turn in all my info into the insurance company to see if they will approve me for RNY gastric bypass. I was told everything would be sent off on Thursday 3/28/13 so it's safe to say that anytime after then I will be a mess of nerves and jumping up every time the phone rings! I have researched just about every aspect of this surgery I could think of to try and prepare myself and my family. At this point even my kids know what I will most likely be able to eat at any given week after surgery. I have gotten myself into the habit of taking my vitamins every morning so that it is easier to remember for me. I have even done what a year ago I thought would be impossible, I STOPPED SMOKING!!!!!!!!!!. I am truly trying as hard as I can to start making better decisions when it comes to the food that my family and I eat. I am determined to be approved for this life saving tool! I want to be here for my children, as well as for their children (which better be quite a ways off still), I want to be able to take the kids and their friends to the beach, or to the springs without thinking that I'm an embarrassment to them. I want to walk along the beach without getting out of breath within the first 5 min, or to go to an amusement park and not rent a scooter. I WANT TO BE HEALTHY!!! I know this journey is not going to be simple, I understand this fully, I'm not wanting this simply to fit into a bikini, or into any size in particular, I just want to be healthy. I know I am one of the lucky ones as I have an amazing support group including family and friends that will support, help, listen to, push me, and make sure I don't get too big in the head. WOW, kinda long winded for a first blog...lol..ohh well. I hope to be able to follow other peoples journeys to ask questions or to help if I am able to. I would appreciate any help or suggestions from any of you reading this blog also as my journey continues.

So, today I went to the gym, and because I keep reading how so many people are walking 3 and 5 miles a day, I decided to do the elliptical rather than the treadmill. For some reason, I can't seem to do more than 30 minutes on the treadmill. I can't decide if I just get bored or I'm actually too tired to do more. Either way, I switched it up. Before surgery, I wouldn't be able to do more than 10 to 15 minutes on the elliptical. Today, I did 33 minutes! I did have to push myself to keep going though. Last time I did the elliptical, my calf started hurting after 10 minutes, so I had to stop. I'm so happy that I did this today and hope it continues to be this easy. =)