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How To explain away my scars? OK, this is awful so don't read if you are easily offended and do not appreciate a sick sense of humor. Warning! Don't read if you are easily offended! Last Warning! Sick Humor below!!!!! Shanked in prison... Shuts them up every time! - VSGKirk Some idiot: What happened? You: I had abdominal surgery. Idiot: What kind? You: The kind that involves the abdominal area. - newat52 Tijuana knife fight. - Kristina J. I had some "woman issues " - chell1978 Texas mosquito bites I was knifed by an exotic dancer in TJ. Full contact scrapbooking injury... When you get the weird look, you can fill in that scrapbooking is getting really intense now that scrappers are trying to make the hobby "athletic enough" for the Olympics. Bears. But never mind my scar, you should check out my awesome new rug! My wife said somtimes I don't know my place. Tell them you are trying to avenge your father and ask if they have six fingers on their right hand. Two words, "Satin sheets" I don't want to go into details, but suffice to say, I won't be allowed in that Benihana for a while. The first rule of Fight Club is 'don't talk about Fight Club' They say you can't get blood from a stone - well, the IRS tried! Remember when your mom told you not to run with scissors? I was watching the DIY network and they did a show on bodylifts... A zombie tried to eat my brains and missed. Tell them as much as you'd love to talk about it you just can't because your defense attorney and parole officer advised you to keep your mouth shut until after the trial. I got this in a bar fight when I used to ride with Hells Angels. That's where the aliens probed me Don't worry about it. Because of me, they now have a to put on warning labels! Well, let me just tell you this: You should NEVER EVER, under ANY circumstances, go out with a guy/girl that you met on the internet. "I was oyster hunting." They give me a blank stare. Then I say, with a wink, "You've obviously never been oyster hunting before." I was at this party with Marilyn Manson and everyone was giving out hugs. I lost a fight with a can of tuna fish. I slipped while making a salad. I fell asleep, and the clown got me. I'll just put it this way: when they tell you not to feed the bears, it's for a damned good reason. I'm a blade sharpness tester "I had an accident with a scalpel." [person asks why] "Well, you know that guy who woke up in an ice bath and his kidney was gone? Er... this had nothing to do with it. Honest." You know how dogs chase their tails? Well it has nothing to do with that. Nor does it have anything to do with cat scratches. Or the faeries that visit me nightly *ramble on*... What was I talking about? I thought those security tags on pants just sprayed ink, but apparently they spray shards of broken glass, too. "Oh, these?" *embarrassed face* "I know they look horrible, but the sex was INCREDIBLE!" "...Are you consipring aginast me? What's with all the questions? Who wants to know the answers?" *and upon interrupting "I'm doing the talking here" and then continue to ramble until they back away. "...They'll come and get you too. Run while you still can" Knifed by an exotic dancer. Terrible. Yes, they're nasty that way. I had unprotected sex with a porcupine. I took my lizards for a walk and they held on for dear life. The neighborhood cat and I had a disagreement about the paw prints on my truck. The police didn't comply with the terrorists' demands fast enough, so they took it out on us hostages. I keep falling off of cliffs trying to catch that damned roadrunner. The voices told me to do it. I did this as a sacramental offering to my dark lord, you prick. ::Smile:: In my past life I was a ninja. It sucks having parents who are sadists. My boyfriend and I accidentally went overboard during our last S & M session. I moon light as a stunt-woman who dives through glass windows. Look at your scars and frown You mean you don’t have any? Well, last time it was an alien baby. I’m actually kind of relieved. I had a narrow escape from a firing squad. Now that is an interesting question; it all ties in with the eternal enigma: why are we here, for what purpose does life on earth exist? go on about the meaning of life until everyone gets bored and goes away Carving a turkey is harder than it looks You want me to show you? smile evily Don’t EVER give blood abroad! Well, I tend to get a little violent with the computer when it doesn’t cooperate. Oh those? Bad juggling accident. I don’t like to talk about it. I’m much better now Oh these? Hmm, I dunno, they’ve just always been there. Well, I mean, ever since I took over this body, anyway. Strange, don’t you think? Ozzy Osborne is my uncle and we have some kick butt family reunions! Those psychology experiments are soooo not worth the extra credit… Oh my god! Never, EVER try taking candy from a baby! A reminder of my Pirating days.... My trained attack dragon did before I got him trained... I had a duel. Did you know chickens aren't all soft and fluffy? Playing Slug Bug with a cat is a reaaally bad idea. Oh this? *point at scar* That's where my twin used to be attached. Lightsaber battle I kicked Chuck Norris' ass all I got was this lousy scar! Tell them you had to help Jack Bauer escape from the Russians and that's the last time you'll cover his pansy ass. Narrowly escaped a zombie attack Fell on the runway-it's Fashion Week Rachel Ray's dog attacked me. I just tell people it's a "sex wound." My husband is ... just ... a WILD MAN, what can I say? That's all folks! Really, that's all there is. No hablo the english? There isn't anymore. Stop scrolling! Ok, okay, one last one. It's where the alien burst out. What, you think they only come out of chests? Satisfied!??????????

This week I'll have my first consultation with my weight loss surgeon, Dr. Wes Turton. Like most of us, I've struggled with weight for most of my life. The older I get it seems the faster the weight comes on, probably due to the fact that I'm exercising less and less. When I hit menopause, the gains seemed to go into overdrive. I don't recognize myself. I haven't always been morbidly obese. In fact, I was in the Army and most of the time I was within body fat limits. I was never able to meet the limits just by weight only, but always had to do the "Pinch Test" with calipers. In my minds eye, I still weigh around 150, and although I'm around 235 now at 5'4" tall, I still see myself as not that fat. I feel guilty about the fact that I can't lose this weight on my own. I've tried Nutrasystem, Weight Watchers, Adkins, and even used medically supervised prescriptions such as pentermine and Ionamine. All the results were short lived, and I quickly put back on the weight plus more. Still, I feel that weight loss surgery must be for people much heavier than me. Of course, that doesn't make sense at all. At this point, I look forward to getting this "tool" to help me with my weight loss. Even though I feel embarrassed at having to resort to this, I need to do it for my health. I'm pre-diabetic, have high cholesterol, low thyroid, and my knees are giving out. Diabetes runs heavily in my family and it is only a matter of time before I develop this devastating disease. Wish me luck...I'm just getting started!

http://youtu.be/Io2YpiQ8zcM

Best of luck to you and all of us on this journey. I remember losing a lot of weight a decade ago and not seeing the skinny girl in the mirror. Now I don't see how fat I actually am unless I accidentally let my son snap a picture and glance at myself quickly while frantically hitting the delete button. I'm tired of deleting myself! I too have not told anyone but my husband (because I need a ride) and 2 friends because I'm embarrassed like you. Is it because we are secretly afraid to fail even with the sleeve? Perhaps. Is it because we are afraid they will talk us out of it? Probably. Is it because we are hiding our unhappiness with our weight and, therefore, other parts of our life? Definitely! I was told to do the 2 week preop diet of shakes or very little food like you. I can drink the shakes but I am soooo hungry! If I could live on 800-1000 calories, I wouldn't need the sleeve! I've read here that our tastes change after the surgery. Hope you are able to tolerate the shakes post-surgery! Good luck.

How are the headaches preventing weight loss?? I go into surgery tomorrow and I'm perplexed to know that it IS IN FACT possible not to lose anything regardless of 80% of your stomach being removed... please tell me why yu haven't lost anything...or is it you've not lost a huge amount?

Lori Jo, I think you may have a platter not a plate! Your postive attitude will take you far in your journey. My wish for you is strength and success as you move forward. Please let me know how I can support you during your journey, best wishes and good luck.

Blog Post 2: The bariatric psychological visit for my Gastric Sleeve. Or what I remember of it. http://youtu.be/-vm3fe9R3gk