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Let the countdown begin. Weighed in at 305 or less 2 days in a row - so it's official, 305 lbs. (I don't officially call it until I've been at a weight for at least 2 days!). Weighed in at 304.8 this morning, 305.8 at 5pm., let's see if it happens two days in a row again! Just a matter of days until I'm below 300 lbs - 1st time I'll be that low in almost 4 years. Hard to believe I'm losing weight. Been too many years hoping the dream would come true, and this actually happening to me are too difficult to accept as real. I keep thinking I might be in a dream or I'm being punked. I'll wake up and POOF, I'm still in my old body. The thoughts of it not being real and being disappointed again keep crowding in. Don't know when I'll let myself accept the reality of being at a lower weight. Oh well, I'll just keep drifting down the river Denial. Maybe I can deny myself right into 190 lbs. :-P

Today, my housemate very sheepishly asked me for a favor. She asked if it would freak me out or upset me if I made a batch of Mac n' cheese. I am famous across several states for my baked Mac n' cheese. No soupy sauces, just a cheese-laden bowl of goodness so dense that you could cut it into squares to serve it and each square would hold its shape until attacked with a fork. Oh, how I love the stuff. My first reaction was to think that I couldn't do it, because I couldn't face the temptation of having such a yummy, calorie laden treat around the house and me not be able to eat it. Then I stopped and thought. Yes, I have a band now, which means I have to make better choices with food, but I will be making those choices for the rest of my life if I want to be successful. Can I really contemplate an eternity without ever eating Mac n'cheese? Would I even want to? So I came up with a plan, and I have to say, I'm pretty brilliant. I made my housemate my old fashioned Mac n'cheese the way I always do. No weighing, no measuring, just put the stuff in til it looks right, then stick it in the over and let the magic happen. But at the same time, I made a second, much smaller batch just for me. For MY batch, I used whole wheat pasta to eliminate the white flour and raise the fiber content. Then I weighed and measured the exact amount of cheese that would go into the bowl. I measured each additional ingredient carefully and programmed the whole thing into My Fitness Pal so that it would calculate exactly how many calories are in each serving. And you know what? It's not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Not only did it taste just as good as the orginial version, but my 1/4 cup serving had a good amount of protein between the pasta, cheese, egg and milk in the recipe. It also had an amount of calories that easily fit into my daily meal plan alongside a serving of lean meat. I found that 1/4 c just as satisfying as the bowl I would have eaten previously and it felt like a huge NSV to reshape the recipe and eat a healthy amount of a "normal" food. Go me! Now, that isn't to say that the lingering traces of the old me didn't think briefly about eating the entire batch in one sitting, but with my latest fill, I know that I honestly couldn't do it without getting sick. My band would stop me. Finally. But even more than that, I know I'll enjoy each small serving more knowing that I'm still living as a compliant bandster and that I'm still on track to meet my goals. So, I'll say it again: Go me!!!

Well Good Morning to all of you LapBanders! Are you having a wonderful day, are you having a successful lap band journey? Well I am choosing to have a wonderful day and I have had a wonderful lap band journey. If you can't answer yes to both of those question, you need to ask yourself WHY the H E L L NOT! Hi, my name is Diane, Love to all my BFF's on lap band talk. I have been banded since October 2010, and yes I am a successful lapband participant. I set her dormant most of the time, surfing the site, occasional liking a post or making a comment. I don't really get caught up in all the Bull S H I T that goes on in the blogs or on the forums, because honestly people are going to do what they want and you can't fix stupid. My philosophy on life is to live to the fullest and you get out of life what your willing to put into it. There are times in life when we all ask the question,"Why is this happening to me?" God, why do you put so much burden on me? Seriously, how much more can I take or can I do? Seriously folks don't ask those questions because, life is just that LIFE and it will always throw you curve balls and it will always put obstacles in your path, it is how YOU chose to deal with the curve balls and the obstacles that defines your path. If you want to be successful or optimistic about anything it is your attitude that is your defining grace. Let me explain: What is a pessimist? a person who habitually sees or anticipates the worst or is disposed to gloomy. What is an optimist? the tendency to EXPECT the best and see the best in things, hopeful, confident. Now I want you to read both of those definitions and take a good internal look at your self, stand in front of the mirror and ask your self, Am I a pessimist or an optimist? If that person staring back at you from the mirror is a pessimist, I am here to tell you, YOU WILL FAIL at this WL Journey. You will never lose all your weight, you will struggle at every obstacle the band throws your way. You will whine about being hungry, you will whine about being stuck, you will whine about not losing weight, you will blame the band, the surgeon and everyone on this sit who has been successful or is really trying. Face it everyone, trying to lose weight sucks, and it is hard whether you have Lap Band or some other tool helping you. It is going to be hard work but if you believe in yourself, NOT the BAND, you can and WILL be successful I know because I was and am! So the next time life throws you Lemons, instead of crying over split milk, Make a nice cool, refreshing glass of Lemon Ade sugar free of course. Today, I dedicate my blog to my mother. My mother is 84 years old and is dealing with Dementia. Well maybe I should say we are dealing with mama having Dementia. Honestly I never thought we would be here, my mama was always such a vibrant lady, always a on the go, the life of the party. But now she is scared and lost and what is the saddest is she knows she is lost. She woke up yesterday morning at my house and walked out of her room like a frightened 2 year old waking from a bad dream. She was disheveled and crying. "Di, how did I get here? I went to bed in one place and woke up here? How did I get here?" She was sobbing, it broke my heart to watch. It took us the better part of the morning to reconstruct the night but with time and patience she was able to put her night back together and realize why she was with me instead of at her place. You see we are relocating my mama to be closer to me and my brothers, she had spent 4 days of hell, saying goodbye to all her old friends, her great grand children and grand daughter. She had packed her 84 years up in boxes and loaded them on a big truck. She spent the night in a hotel, had lost her suit case and drove for 8 hours, unpacked a truck into her new home, went to dinner in a strange town, went to bed in a strange bed and woke up scared. Now I ask you, What would you do or feel? Lost, scared, unsure of what is happen, Yes you would and so would I. I told my mama it was going to be OK! She said to me" Di, it may be OK but it will never be the same!." WOW what a powerful statement, and you know what she is right, it will never be the same. But it will be OK, and why will it be OK, because we are choosing to be optimistic. We all know the end result of Dementia, you slowing lose your present, live in your past and forget that there is a tomorrow! So why not make the most of what time you have left of today and continue to enjoy life. We could all give up on mama and just pretend this isn't happening or let others deal with it but is that really fair? So you see, life has now thrown me another curve ball or more lemons, I have whined, I have cried, I have asked those questions, Oh why me and my mama but today, today I am choosing to be hopeful and confident that my mama will slowly descend into the shadows of darkness known as Dementia, I am choosing to be hopeful that she can remain independent with minimal assistance from her family. I am choosing to make Lemon Ade. I know the odds, I know what the final outcome will be but it truly is about the journey and I am choosing to make this a wonderful, hopeful journey for me, mama and my family. So friends I ask you again are you a Pessimist or an Optimist and if you are a pessimist may I suggest you look really long and hard at that person staring back at you from the mirror and ask WHY?

I recieved my pb2 w choc in the mail... looking for recipe ideas!!! I start soft foods Monday. Is it too soon to use??? Any recipes/ feedback would be nice! I am down 26 lbs yay! Blessings TD41

I haven't blogged for awhile because well...I've been more active and living my life more than I have in the past couple of years. First off I will start with my nsv's. My clothes are way too big now. I had to buy some newer clothes because they were starting to fall off. I also haven't taken a nap in the middle of the day for weeks now. I used to take a nap daily because I was so tired and worn out from just daily life. My weight loss has given me more energy where I can actually make it the full day without taking a nap. I went to the zoo today with my daughter and hubby and I made it around the entire zoo without having to sit down or leave. Before I had surgery, I would make it most of the way through the zoo, but I would be dead tired and my feet would be aching and I would literally have to lie down and take a nap. I have some personal triumphs to share. I have finally succeeded in mastering the no drinking/eating rule half hour before and after. I started setting a timer after my last bite. Only when the timer goes off do I start to drink again. This is huge for me because I was struggling. I also noticed (I've mentioned this before) that I eat less when I am not eating and drinking together. For some reason, the past week I have been even less hungry than I ever was. To give you a rundown, I started eating around 300 calories a day and then when I started exercising it jumped to 800-1000 calories a day. I was more hungry and eating more during this time. Lately, I can barely finish my protein shakes in the morning and I don't feel my hunger at all. My calories have dropped back down to about 500 calories. Does anyone have any ideas about why this is happening? My portions have been unusually small lately, and the only reason my calories have jumped is because I had a few "naughty" things in the past couple of days. I am almost 8 weeks post op...this coming wednesday I will be 8 weeks post op. I have hit quite a few stalls as some will call it...well on the scale anyways. I have taken measurements and I have lost inches. I have also went from a size 28 to 24w. I started at 298 (day of surgery) and today I am 270lbs. I have been working out at least 4 days a week, getting my water, and protein in. I have only had things I'm not supposed to twice since surgery. I am hoping that I actually gained muscle during my workouts because I have been lifting a lot. So I am not complaining just yet...I will wait until I see my fitness trainer and get my fat % measured. On another note...about the naughty foods I had. I had maybe about a tablespoon of frosting off of my daughter's frosting today (I feel really gross and wish I didn't eat it...actually regretting it now and I had some a few weeks back and said I would never eat it again...I thought it would be okay because everything else I eat doesn't make me feel yucky) and I immediately felt sick. I had homemade frosting about 4 weeks ago and I also felt really yucky afterwards. Do you think it is the high sugar or high fat that is making me feel crappy afterwards??? I don't eat naughty things often. I think I have had sugar 3 times since surgery. When I say 3 times...it was literally a spoonful of something sweet. Besides those three days my carbs are usually below 50grams. I like them lower, but my NUT does not agree and wants me to get less than 100g a day and wants me to add more fiber etc. I haven't had any fried food yet. Does anyone have recommendations for recipes if I do get a sweet tooth? I get them every so often and usually have the motivation to stay away. I am literally surrounded by it because I have to take care of my 3 year old. Any suggestions would be great!

Hey everyone. My name is Kelly and I wans to share my journey with you. Please free to question, comment, and give advise.Step One: to have surgery or not to have surgery. I did a lot of research about the lap band before I had it done. I listed my pros and cons of why I would want it and why I wouldn't. The saddest part is that my biggest cons were no buffets or pigging out on junk food! I decided right then and there I loved my life before any buffets. Step Two the consultation. I went to have my consultation done and to my surprise I found out that I had a hiatal hernia which actually was in my favor for insurance wise. I had been complaining to my husband about how much heartburn/acid reflux I had been having and popping tums like no tomorrow. My decision was made I am having the surgery. Step three the surgery. I set up the surgery for 3/21/13 at 5:45 am. Right after the surgery I was uncomfortable obviously but I was able to get some pain medicine. I was able to go home. Day one I got to walk around a little bit and slept for most of the time took my meds as needed. Today Day two. I woke up this morning feeling great I could already tell the pressure in my abdomen was going down later on in the day my incision areas were getting a bit soar. I was able to go grocery shopping today. What would usually take me 30 min to do took me about 2 hours but I got my walking in. I am ready to start my journey to become ME again so I think the best way to get there is by blogging! Anyone else recently had surgery?

Wow! Just a few days away and feel very much unsure of what I am doing. I know I need this tool. I know I need to do this if I want to move forward but the idea of it all still is overwhelming. I am sure I preach to the choir but I feel like I am saying good bye to someone I have known my whole life. Food. My companion, my enemy, my comfort, my nemesis. So many feelings. I am glad I found this spot to talk about my feelings. Not sure anyone really understands how I feel but those who are making this choice too. Thanks for the listen.

Hi, Just curious how everyone eats their meals.... Are you using adult or children utensils... I find myself at times eating to fast or too much im not sure if I should use a smaller utensil so that I am eating less food and filling up faster.... Any advice would be appreciated. Thx TD41

Insurance approved on the first try...YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3rd day on 2-week liver shrinking diet. Not so bad, but only 3rd day. Surgery date March 28. I cannot wait...very excited. The butterflies have not shown up quite yet.

Good afternoon everyone. Surprisingly today i feel great. I got up and took a shower and got to take all of the bandages off! pretty exciting. I had my gall bladder out in May of 2012 which was laproscopic and the surgeon sealed my incisions with glue and they never healed right. I asked if Dr Nirmul could go in and fix it and he did. I am very happy he actually listened to what MY needs were. I am very pleased with him. I am 100% better than my last laproscopic surgery. I am impressed with how everything was handled. I also went through true results in Phoenix and they have been wonderful! My hubby and i decided once i'm healed we are going to join a rec center near by. I have always wanted to join just never had the motivation. Well all my excuses are out the door!. I know it says no strenuous exercise for 4 weeks do you really think 4 weeks is a good time. For me i think it would take longer. I assume it would just depend on how you are healing and what you yourself are able to achieve! Oh and i'm down another 3 LBS.. Weird i think it just may be the C02 leaving! anyways 3 lbs is 3 lbs you got to start somewhere!