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dont worry you're not alone. I have those feelings all the time. I'm like ok... i'm the lowest I've been in 10 plus years... surely this is going to stop working and i'll be stuck here any minute.

Today, my housemate very sheepishly asked me for a favor. She asked if it would freak me out or upset me if I made a batch of Mac n' cheese. I am famous across several states for my baked Mac n' cheese. No soupy sauces, just a cheese-laden bowl of goodness so dense that you could cut it into squares to serve it and each square would hold its shape until attacked with a fork. Oh, how I love the stuff. My first reaction was to think that I couldn't do it, because I couldn't face the temptation of having such a yummy, calorie laden treat around the house and me not be able to eat it. Then I stopped and thought. Yes, I have a band now, which means I have to make better choices with food, but I will be making those choices for the rest of my life if I want to be successful. Can I really contemplate an eternity without ever eating Mac n'cheese? Would I even want to? So I came up with a plan, and I have to say, I'm pretty brilliant. I made my housemate my old fashioned Mac n'cheese the way I always do. No weighing, no measuring, just put the stuff in til it looks right, then stick it in the over and let the magic happen. But at the same time, I made a second, much smaller batch just for me. For MY batch, I used whole wheat pasta to eliminate the white flour and raise the fiber content. Then I weighed and measured the exact amount of cheese that would go into the bowl. I measured each additional ingredient carefully and programmed the whole thing into My Fitness Pal so that it would calculate exactly how many calories are in each serving. And you know what? It's not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Not only did it taste just as good as the orginial version, but my 1/4 cup serving had a good amount of protein between the pasta, cheese, egg and milk in the recipe. It also had an amount of calories that easily fit into my daily meal plan alongside a serving of lean meat. I found that 1/4 c just as satisfying as the bowl I would have eaten previously and it felt like a huge NSV to reshape the recipe and eat a healthy amount of a "normal" food. Go me! Now, that isn't to say that the lingering traces of the old me didn't think briefly about eating the entire batch in one sitting, but with my latest fill, I know that I honestly couldn't do it without getting sick. My band would stop me. Finally. But even more than that, I know I'll enjoy each small serving more knowing that I'm still living as a compliant bandster and that I'm still on track to meet my goals. So, I'll say it again: Go me!!!

WOO HOOO!!!! Everyone seems to celebrate ONEderland, but seriously, where's the love for Twoderville? When I started at 360, Twoderville seemed almost impossible, let alone the elusive Onderland. BUT OMG, here I am at 280 and it's AWESOME!!! Accept the reality, it's REAL and YOU are making it happen!

Well Good Morning to all of you LapBanders! Are you having a wonderful day, are you having a successful lap band journey? Well I am choosing to have a wonderful day and I have had a wonderful lap band journey. If you can't answer yes to both of those question, you need to ask yourself WHY the H E L L NOT! Hi, my name is Diane, Love to all my BFF's on lap band talk. I have been banded since October 2010, and yes I am a successful lapband participant. I set her dormant most of the time, surfing the site, occasional liking a post or making a comment. I don't really get caught up in all the Bull S H I T that goes on in the blogs or on the forums, because honestly people are going to do what they want and you can't fix stupid. My philosophy on life is to live to the fullest and you get out of life what your willing to put into it. There are times in life when we all ask the question,"Why is this happening to me?" God, why do you put so much burden on me? Seriously, how much more can I take or can I do? Seriously folks don't ask those questions because, life is just that LIFE and it will always throw you curve balls and it will always put obstacles in your path, it is how YOU chose to deal with the curve balls and the obstacles that defines your path. If you want to be successful or optimistic about anything it is your attitude that is your defining grace. Let me explain: What is a pessimist? a person who habitually sees or anticipates the worst or is disposed to gloomy. What is an optimist? the tendency to EXPECT the best and see the best in things, hopeful, confident. Now I want you to read both of those definitions and take a good internal look at your self, stand in front of the mirror and ask your self, Am I a pessimist or an optimist? If that person staring back at you from the mirror is a pessimist, I am here to tell you, YOU WILL FAIL at this WL Journey. You will never lose all your weight, you will struggle at every obstacle the band throws your way. You will whine about being hungry, you will whine about being stuck, you will whine about not losing weight, you will blame the band, the surgeon and everyone on this sit who has been successful or is really trying. Face it everyone, trying to lose weight sucks, and it is hard whether you have Lap Band or some other tool helping you. It is going to be hard work but if you believe in yourself, NOT the BAND, you can and WILL be successful I know because I was and am! So the next time life throws you Lemons, instead of crying over split milk, Make a nice cool, refreshing glass of Lemon Ade sugar free of course. Today, I dedicate my blog to my mother. My mother is 84 years old and is dealing with Dementia. Well maybe I should say we are dealing with mama having Dementia. Honestly I never thought we would be here, my mama was always such a vibrant lady, always a on the go, the life of the party. But now she is scared and lost and what is the saddest is she knows she is lost. She woke up yesterday morning at my house and walked out of her room like a frightened 2 year old waking from a bad dream. She was disheveled and crying. "Di, how did I get here? I went to bed in one place and woke up here? How did I get here?" She was sobbing, it broke my heart to watch. It took us the better part of the morning to reconstruct the night but with time and patience she was able to put her night back together and realize why she was with me instead of at her place. You see we are relocating my mama to be closer to me and my brothers, she had spent 4 days of hell, saying goodbye to all her old friends, her great grand children and grand daughter. She had packed her 84 years up in boxes and loaded them on a big truck. She spent the night in a hotel, had lost her suit case and drove for 8 hours, unpacked a truck into her new home, went to dinner in a strange town, went to bed in a strange bed and woke up scared. Now I ask you, What would you do or feel? Lost, scared, unsure of what is happen, Yes you would and so would I. I told my mama it was going to be OK! She said to me" Di, it may be OK but it will never be the same!." WOW what a powerful statement, and you know what she is right, it will never be the same. But it will be OK, and why will it be OK, because we are choosing to be optimistic. We all know the end result of Dementia, you slowing lose your present, live in your past and forget that there is a tomorrow! So why not make the most of what time you have left of today and continue to enjoy life. We could all give up on mama and just pretend this isn't happening or let others deal with it but is that really fair? So you see, life has now thrown me another curve ball or more lemons, I have whined, I have cried, I have asked those questions, Oh why me and my mama but today, today I am choosing to be hopeful and confident that my mama will slowly descend into the shadows of darkness known as Dementia, I am choosing to be hopeful that she can remain independent with minimal assistance from her family. I am choosing to make Lemon Ade. I know the odds, I know what the final outcome will be but it truly is about the journey and I am choosing to make this a wonderful, hopeful journey for me, mama and my family. So friends I ask you again are you a Pessimist or an Optimist and if you are a pessimist may I suggest you look really long and hard at that person staring back at you from the mirror and ask WHY?

Insurance approved on the first try...YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3rd day on 2-week liver shrinking diet. Not so bad, but only 3rd day. Surgery date March 28. I cannot wait...very excited. The butterflies have not shown up quite yet.

I found little square ones at the Dollar Tree - 10 for a buck. They hold a bit over two ounces each! Score!

Obesity is at epidemic proportions in this country. Not that this is a disease any of us want to have, but at least we're in good company :-) Coming to terms with this issue has been a life long process for me. And at 57, I still haven't come to terms. I thought if I could only accept myself this way, then I could take the pressure off and move on with my life. But I can't; never have, never will. But after so many years with large swings in weight, I know this is a disease; one that MANY of us are predisposed to. There will always be the idiots that do not understand. I've found that the "can't you just eat less and exercise more" mentality, with harsh judgements seeing us as weak, come from people that I wouldn't want in my inner circle whether I'm fat OR thin. But anyone with a half of brain, who lives in this culture, should see and understand that it's just not that simple. As you say (morelgirl), if it were that simple, no one would be overweight. I think it's great that you're finding the self control to walk away from conversations without a good outcome. We can't change the way the world thinks, but we can take care of ourselves, and move away from the ignorant. I have enough work to do, without feeling the need to control/change the thoughts and opinions of others. Thanks for the post. It hit a nerve with many of us.

Love, You are an amazing woman, and the inner strengths you have tapped into will take you to the finish line of everything you set off to do... Thank you for this eloquent post...it serves to center one's thoughts on the choices we have every day. Our success in every journey will be determined by the choices we make every day. For success, we will all come to enjoy SF lemonade... Thank you for sharing this...and for being the positive inspiration you are every day! Big hugs to you...

Wow! Incredible blog! Thank you for sharing this very intimate time with us. Today I looked in the mirror after reading your post and asked the question. Today I am an optimist and if tomorrow it's the other......I will choose "the optimist". I lost my Mom to ovarian cancer 4 years ago, and like your Mom so eloquently stated. "We are ok...but we will never be the same." Good thoughts and intentions for you and your beautiful Mother.

I was just like you, always putting others first. My kids have grown into young men and they are hardly around me anymore. So when reality hit me that I need to do something for myself I did. I got to work on me, and put other things aside. This is my life and I am glad I decided to get banded. I was banded on yesterday, have some gas, nothing I can't handle. I think I will be happy with the end results.