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My wife and I have been quite open with our two daughters (9 and 12) about my lap band. Before surgery we walked them through what would happen, how it would affect my life and more than that why I was doing it. So as I have had to adjust to my new lifestyle, my daughters and wife have adjusted with me. But I didn't realize the extent of that adjustment until I heard these words come out of my 9 year old's mouth "Mom, you are chewing too fast, you need to slow down!" The look of shock on my wife's face was priceless

It is hard to imagine that 1 year ago this month, I had the VSG surgery procedure. I remember the agony of finally deciding to have the surgery after years of saying, "Never", then having to wait those several months to wait for surgery. Now looking back, I do see value in all those hurdles I had to jump! It has been a relatively easy time this year. My loss has been very slow compared to many others, but I have always been the slow loser! I have had 2 significant stalls during this year. The first one lasted almost a month and was 6 months after surgery. The second stall was almost 2 months and lasted from November to january. I started getting panicky, so I went on structured plan to make sure I am not overeating without realizing. I also cut out all carbs except fruit (2 per day). I am eating mostly lean meats and lots of low-carb veggies. Now my total loss is 87 pounds, 57 of which came after the surgery. One can see that i averaged about 1 pound a week this first year. I won't be winning any weight loss awards, but to have lost this much is a miracle and a true gift! For those of you who, like me, struggle with metabolic and endocrine issues such as thyroid, PCOS, diabetes, I do have some advice. It may or not apply and I hestitate to claim any knowledge, but here goes: 1) No matter what your weight, start working on fitness. I started 7 years ago, exercising 20 minutes twice weekly. At 282 pounds, it nearly killed me. I would literally climb into bed EVERY day after exercise and go back to sleep. I was so exhausted that I could not stay up on my feet. It took everything I had to get out of bed in the morning to exercise, but I did it for the fight of my life. I gradually increased my exercise over then next four years. I was still gaining weight, but I was plugging along. Now looking back, I can see the wisdom in the exercise. My core is strong, my muscles and spine are healthy and strong for my age. My coordination is good and my exercise recovery is so much better. Now, my exercise schedule is as follows: M, W, F - 6am walking partner for 50 minutes (about 3 miles) T, R - some cardio, but mostly resistance, core and balance training In between, I take a zumba or circuit class once or twice a week and I dance on the weekends with my hubby once in a while. 2) Start looking inside! I journal, and now looking back it is helpful to see how much healthier I am inside and out. Journaling for me is a conversation to God. It leads me to God and helps sort out my thoughts. I also listen and write down things I sense that maybe God wants for me. It is a very deep and sweet place some days, light and superficial others, and agonizing once in a while. I use scripture along with this for my meditation and I am blessed in a deep place as a result. 3) Face your fears- I am facing my fears, my insecurities and my failings. Facinig my fears was so important for my success. For me, that meant taking swim lessons. I actually dove head-first finally, and cried when I did it because it was such a barrier to me. I am also teaching some kids spanish, and this is forcing me to tackle a very insecure place in my life. I left south America at age 11 and was very sad about it. I stopped speaking spanish and began to feel insecure to talk to others in spanish. It started with lessons and now I am helping others. 4) Face your failings and forgive yourself and others - Facing my failings has also been important and this journey has taken me to some uncomfortable places. Sometimes it meant being honest with myself and my food. Sometimes it meant looking at a specific event where I made a poor choice in a relationship, or responded poorly to others. It has even meant dealing with unforgiveness of myself and others. In one situation, someone slandered me very painfully and unfairly. I held on to the unforgiveness because my reputation mattered to me. It was 2 years later that I finally went to this person to ask her what I did that led to this situation. She told me there were "Lots" of things,but could not think of anything specific right then (she said I should have given her time to thinkabout it). At that moment, I was given a release from the torment of the situation. I was able to forgive her, and ask her to forgive me for whatever it was that led her to slander me. It was like a ton of weight was lifted from me. 5. Be honest about your food. 6. Find a good practitioner. Find a practitioner who understands the complexities of dysmetabolic syndrome, HPA axis disorders (hypothalmus, pituitary, adrenal), and has holistic approach to healing. 7. Reward yourself!

Well, after 4 days of being the exact same weight, I woke up this morning 5 lbs less than yesterday. Makes no sense to me, but I'll take it. That puts me at 249 lbs, 25 less than my pre op high of 274. I've decided to start weighing myself only once a week. It won't be easy, but obsessing over the scale can be counterproductive. I just needed to see it move after being the same for 4 days. Since I weighed in this morning, I guess I'll make Sunday my day.

So yesterday I was telling yall how I had fallen off the wagon and how depressed I had been for the pass couple of days, due to death in the family. I also was telling yall that I was getting back on the wagon starting today. Well I am happy to say I hit the gym and my personal trainer running this morning. And it felt great. I am learning so much about myself it's unreal. Since starting this I'm more active than I have been in a long time. And for once I'm putting me first. Things happen in life that will knock you down. The object is deciding what you going to do when you get up. Enjoy the rest of your day.

So before I climb onto my soapbox let me start by saying this is in no way directed at anyone in particular. It seems lately there has been an onslaught of folks either pissed off or discouraged and some even wish they didn't have the surgery because of lack of scale movement. I cannot recall how many posts I've read over the course of the week from someone 5 days to 20 days post op who are just downright frazzled over the fact that the scale has not moved. Again, this is not directed at anyone in particular and as I think back when I was first banded I kind of had that moment of frustration where the scale didn't move and I questioned whether or not I chose the right surgery. I was in the same place a lot of you might be now. I did a lot of research on this surgery for about year before finally going through with it. Out of all things I wish I was more prepared for was the actual weight loss. See I had this assumption that because I had the surgery I was going to begin pulling big numbers immediately. Because I had surgery I was going to see large drop in weight very fast. It never happened...and 11 months post op I can tell you it never has happened...or maybe it has. You see I am obsessed with the scale and have been since my preop days. So I will step on the scale far to often to be able to see big numbers. I finally made peace that this is the way its going to be and I am OK with that now. Everyone loses weight differently and what may work for me may not work for you. Our bodies are so different. So comparing yourself to someone else is not very realistic. If you are due to have surgery or just had surgery I suggest you do yourself a favor and avoid the scale. You will only torture yourself with it. First month post op is all about healing. Even though this may have been the easiest surgery you ever had there was still a substantial amount of trauma to your stomach and digestive system and it needs time to heal and for the swelling to reduce. Swelling alone with play havoc with scale enough to drive someone bonkers. Just do yourself a favor and leave it be. As for the pre and post op "diets" your Doctor prescribed. I really don't believe he provided those guidelines as a sense of torture. Liquids and mushies is all about letting your stomach heal for a few weeks before trying to eat solids. Remember you have a new version of your stomach now and it has to be treated like a newborns. Milk, baby food and then on to solids. I wish you all well and much success. Try not to be hard on yourself and do keep your expectations in check. Remember Rome was not built in a day. Band one day and skinny the next is for dreams only. It takes hard work and determination. Like my friend Carolinagirl always says, You have "want power" and you just have to used it. Being 488lbs I had a tough time deciding if the band was the right me. I was so worried because I had so much weight to lose. I spoke with my Surgeon and said he thought I would do well with the band but he was more than willing to do gastric if that's what I wanted. He was right about the band. I am not at goal yet but it is very reachable now and all doubt is out the window. Work with your band and become one with it and possibly good things will come. Cheers!!

Someone asked for a recent picture - the first is 1-1-11 at my daughter's wedding, 8 months before surgery, a week before I went to the orientation. The second is from this past Saturday, my younger daughter's 18th birthday 3-16-13

It's been awhile since I've been here, and I thought I should check in and say hello! It's been awhile since I've updated "My Other Butt" blog as well, I'm thinking close to a year. I know, I know.. I ought to be ashamed of myself, but that year has been an over-sized portion of awesome, and I'm just not finding room for guilt and shame today! I have always been a lover of life, and I have always known that there is a difference between existing, and living, yet the past year has had many lessons to teach me about knowing my own value, and refusing to settle for less than my own happiness. In the process of painting my life with ALL of the colors rather than being too lazy to change the two or three I have always settled for, I learned that I had NO idea what it meant to step outside of my comfort zone, or to really think outside of "the box." It makes me chuckle to think that I thought I'd been doing both of those things for years! In about a month it will be two years since my lap band surgery. Most of the first year was spent in awe of how quickly my body changed, and the second year has mostly been spent in awe of how my mentality, attitude, metabolism, energy, health and perspective have changed. And after all of that, I can say that I'm still the same person that I always was, I just have new vision and appreciation for the things that I was blinded to for so long. When I first began this journey, I could only hope, dream, and wonder what changes would take place for me in two years time. It seems like in the blink of an eye my focus changed, my will became infinitely stronger, and I find myself making a valiant effort to learn how to be "selfish." It's not easy. It is my nature to be a pleaser and a giver, neither of which are bad things until giving to others and pleasing those I love become more important that what I need for myself. I speak up more. I say "NO" more. I no longer feel guilty for speaking my mind or saying "no",these days. Both of those in huge contrast to the way I dealt with them two years ago.... I'm learning to stop saying" I'm fine" when I'm not, and I'm learning to be honest when asked what I need, or what I want. (Gasp). Both of those are things I've been unable to do for far too long, and have often seemed nearly impossible to overcome. I'm successful, and still I fail sometimes too, but it's pretty amazing to be able to see a reason to keep trying, and for my motivation to be ME, rather than letting guilt and fear of hurting someone continue to drive me along. . Within the first 10 1/2 months I lost more than the normal weight of another person my size. And suddenly... I was too thin. Wait.. WHAT? Yep, you saw it right. I got too thin before my first year out from surgery. It took my boyfriend, my family, and my good friends to convince me that I needed to have some fluid removed from my band so that I could eat more. For the first time in my entire life, I needed to GAIN weight, and I can't begin to tell you how terrifying that was for me. I wasn't even remotely convinced that I could do that without ending up back where I started. I suddenly knew first hand why it was so important to pass a psychiatric evaluation in order to be approved for the surgery. The entire process has affected far more than my physical body.. in fact, I'm very sure that so far the physical changes are minimal compared to the emotional and psychological changes I've seen in myself. Right now I weigh 149 pounds. I am barely over 5'3". I wear size 7 jeans, sometimes size 9. I was down to size 4. I wear size large shirts, and had been down to a small and occasionally extra small. My body is curvy, and I look very average, and very healthy. My hair is starting to look shiny and thick again after getting very damaged, thin, and dead looking that first year. I am still my own harshest critic, and I will always be afraid of waking up one day and the past two years of my life will have been nothing more than a dream. It's still surreal, and I'm afraid I may never let my guard down and get comfortable enough to stop worrying about giving up and getting fat because I forgot to take care of myself first, or I forgot how lucky I am that my band worked exactly how it was supposed to without complication and without taking 2 or 3 years to reach my goal. For me, it was magical, and miraculous, and though I wish I could say easy, I absolutely can not. I worked hard. I learned to listen to my body and what it needed. I learned to stop denying my body, mind, and spirit. I made some sacrifices, and I overcame strong fears to do the right thing for myself. Don't believe for a moment that any of it was taking the easy way out. Don't believe that when I say it was "magical" that I mean without effort or pain. And if you're just starting out on your journey or perhaps just researching the lap band as an option for yourself the most important thing you should know is that everyone's story is different. You may do it faster, you may take three times as long to see results. You may breeze through every aspect of it without incident, or you may find obstacles at every turn making you question your choice or your ability to see it through. Standing here nearly 2 years later I don't have a single regret. Lap band was the perfect choice for me. And even though I accomplished what I set out to do, my current weight and body aren't the best part of the deal for me. The best part is at the end of the day I know who I am, I love who I am, I didn't poison my soul or compromise it by being afraid to stand up and speak out, and none of that can be purchased or forced on anyone. For me it was the positive result of taking care of myself nomatter how inconvenient, time consuming or difficult it got to do so. I wish the same realizations for all of you! Here's me: with nephews and grandbabies

A year ago this week I started my two week pre op diet....I was so scared that I couldnt do it! It was tough! But my mnd was right and I knew that I needed to get healthy. Now as I look back, I am proud of how far I have made it. It is a journey and it has been slow going the last 6 months but I have always moved forward and it is a process of lifestyle change. Almost 35 years of bad habits are hard to change and break. I had always thought that this was an impossible dream and I have never had success with something this hard. I have and advanced degree and THAT was hard work but school was not that hard for me and I had no doubts I could do this. When I started this weight loss journey I had so many doubts and had always failed before. This tool that was provided for me helped me, but I have never worked so hard at something like this. It is life changing in so many ways. I knew going into this that this is a lifetime battle. I will always have to fight this. It feels good to have some kind of victory though! Keep moving forward....slow but sure...I can do this!

I've been down the last month or so because my weight didn't seem to be moving. I was following the doctors orders, doing what I was suppose to, but the scales were not moving. Then last week all of a sudden I came to realize geez my pants are falling down, my shirt feels bigger. The scales weren't moving, but the inches were. I purchase some summer shorts and capri's in 14's and 12's - holy cow, WOW!! A XL in the ladies section is to big, I need a large. Yesterday the hubs and I went to the mall to finish getting what we needed to our Florida vacation in a few weeks. I tried on a new pair of flip flops and was standing in the mirror looking at them. It took a second for it to register I was looking at my leg- OMG- it's not huge. I look nice. I am sliming down all over. When heading to the store I was tell the hubs- last year at this time I was poured into my 20/22 capri's and wearing a 2XL shirt; yesterday I had on a pair of 14 shorts that are loose in the waist and a size large ladies t-shirt. Wow- this has worked, I did it. I have lost weight. I feel good. At the start of this journey I said I would be happy to get to a size 12/14, well I am here. But, now I am thinking a 8/10 would be nice. Me in an 8/10 WOW- what a thought. I never imagined that could happen and I could still eat good food. I don't feel like I am being deprived or eating rabbit food. I eat the same things I have always loved, just less of it. I don't feel like I am missing out on anything. The only thing I could totally go for that I really should avoid is a slice of Cheesecake Factory Red Velvet Cheesecake. Most likely I will get one for my anniversary (we got engaged there), but I will likely eat it over a few days vs at one time or share it with the hub. So for anyone reading this just starting out or hasn't been banded yet, good news, you can loose weight and still eat good food. It's possible to have it all!!! Today I am on top of the world!!

Hi my name is Eboni, I'm 30 years old married mother of two boys. I have battled with my weight for my entire life. I have never been thin. I've never had self esteem issues until the last 4 years. I have also been trying to have bariatric surgery, but due to Insurance coverage I was never succesful in the process. Now the time has come. I have insurance coverage now. I have started the process. I had my first Dr's appointment today (12/20/12) with my Primary and he mde me feel so good. He truly seemed as happy as I was that I chose to have the sugery. In conjuntion with having my first Dr's Appt, I also went to a WLS Seminar. The surgeon won't even see me until I have been to one. Mind you I have already been to 3 over the past 4 years. I turned in my info tonight now, so now I wait to hear from the Surgeon Office for an appt. I am super estatic. I have the surgery at my finger tips. I am ready!!! I have somethings in my life that I need to do for ME. This is one of them. A change in lifestyle is imperative in my life. I'm not gonna go on and on. Gotta save somethings for later. Until next time Hunni kisses.....