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So before I climb onto my soapbox let me start by saying this is in no way directed at anyone in particular. It seems lately there has been an onslaught of folks either pissed off or discouraged and some even wish they didn't have the surgery because of lack of scale movement. I cannot recall how many posts I've read over the course of the week from someone 5 days to 20 days post op who are just downright frazzled over the fact that the scale has not moved. Again, this is not directed at anyone in particular and as I think back when I was first banded I kind of had that moment of frustration where the scale didn't move and I questioned whether or not I chose the right surgery. I was in the same place a lot of you might be now. I did a lot of research on this surgery for about year before finally going through with it. Out of all things I wish I was more prepared for was the actual weight loss. See I had this assumption that because I had the surgery I was going to begin pulling big numbers immediately. Because I had surgery I was going to see large drop in weight very fast. It never happened...and 11 months post op I can tell you it never has happened...or maybe it has. You see I am obsessed with the scale and have been since my preop days. So I will step on the scale far to often to be able to see big numbers. I finally made peace that this is the way its going to be and I am OK with that now. Everyone loses weight differently and what may work for me may not work for you. Our bodies are so different. So comparing yourself to someone else is not very realistic. If you are due to have surgery or just had surgery I suggest you do yourself a favor and avoid the scale. You will only torture yourself with it. First month post op is all about healing. Even though this may have been the easiest surgery you ever had there was still a substantial amount of trauma to your stomach and digestive system and it needs time to heal and for the swelling to reduce. Swelling alone with play havoc with scale enough to drive someone bonkers. Just do yourself a favor and leave it be. As for the pre and post op "diets" your Doctor prescribed. I really don't believe he provided those guidelines as a sense of torture. Liquids and mushies is all about letting your stomach heal for a few weeks before trying to eat solids. Remember you have a new version of your stomach now and it has to be treated like a newborns. Milk, baby food and then on to solids. I wish you all well and much success. Try not to be hard on yourself and do keep your expectations in check. Remember Rome was not built in a day. Band one day and skinny the next is for dreams only. It takes hard work and determination. Like my friend Carolinagirl always says, You have "want power" and you just have to used it. Being 488lbs I had a tough time deciding if the band was the right me. I was so worried because I had so much weight to lose. I spoke with my Surgeon and said he thought I would do well with the band but he was more than willing to do gastric if that's what I wanted. He was right about the band. I am not at goal yet but it is very reachable now and all doubt is out the window. Work with your band and become one with it and possibly good things will come. Cheers!!

The surgery yesterday evening went well, they were able to get the kidney stone out, so that's good. I'm still uncomfortable, and running a fever on and off due to the infection it caused. My blood pressure is kind of all over the place, one reading high- the next might be low- the next normal...so between that and the fever, they're keeping me one more night to make sure they get all the antibiotcs on board that they wanted to. (P.S.- these liquid meds TASTE TERRIBLE! lol) As much of a bummer as it is to have kindey stones, I really took a lot of comfort in knowing, I have no remaining issues from surgery. The pain I thought I was having b/c of it turned out to be kidney stone, so I'm completely healed and doing well with my sleeve itself. I've also found now that the stone is out- and the pain is down, I'm much better at getting my fluids in- still working on the protein angle, but it's hard to fill that order at the hospital- I've been using muscle milk for now- just to get something in. Thanks all for the support and well wishes the other day! Best of luck to the rest of you sleevers!

When I first decided to have VSG, I didn’t initially come to this board. I did my research, talked to my Drs. and went through the process. Any questions that I had, I was able to research through the internet and typically I found answers. If I couldn’t I would discuss them with my Dr. or my nutritionist during my 6 month pre-op requirement. I found this board just days before my surgery. I came here looking for mutant people like myself. People whose life had spun out of control and sought solace and comfort in excessive food and drink. People who had decided that they have had enough of the churn. People that were taking the steps to improve their health and their lives. People that actually allowed themselves to be spread out on an operating table and let a group of strangers cut out a perfectly good stomach. You see, I don’t have a lot of support at home as my spouse had RNY a few years back and failed to maintain her weight and is fairly obese again. She’s been pretty passive aggressive about the whole thing and, well that’s a whole Jerry Springer episode all in itself. I don’t have any close family, and I didn’t share my surgery with anyone who was particularly close friend wise. For some unexplained reason, I needed to be in a tribe for this journey, so I found this board. I came here and I met a whole raft of nice people, people that I enjoyed conversing with on a daily basis, mutants like myself (you all know who you are, and I thank you for the friendship that you all have extended to me). I learned things on this board and I contributed and tried to support. As I did, I came to realize that this surgery is a whole lot tougher on some people than it had been for me both physically and mentally. I guess that I had focused so much on trying to lose the weight and get healthy, that I didn’t see WLS as that big of deal. I’ve done every diet, taken nutrition classes as part of my school work, was a pretty faithful follower of good gym habits; I just couldn’t put down the fork and the cup. I barreled through all this like I always had, by not taking any prisoners. It never occurred to me that others weren’t like that, so it was an eye opening experience to hear the struggles of others. As I tried to pass along my experiences and support, I started getting offline messages. Some were funny, some were more questions, but over the last couple of weeks, I got a couple that were just down right mean. I was being chided for responding in an honest and forthright manner, not being judgmental, but offering an opinion based on experience and facts. Then last week, I was perusing a thread over in one of the other sections that basically called out the so called “vets” on the board for hijacking threads and interjecting silliness and nonsense into too many threads. The poster felt like all this should be relegated to the chat room and policed off the boards. What really melted my butter was a reply by someone that I had truly respected, and someone that had been chastised openly on the board for some of their responses, actually agreeing with the poster about how some of the “vets” handled their posts. This was someone that I had actually defended and sent a message of encouragement to, now blazing away at others (and myself, in my opinion) on the board. It was a wake-up call that maybe there are mutants here that don’t come here for the same reasons that I do. Maybe they feel that this should be a very narrow, well patrolled repository of information and facts, and that there’s no room for a joke and a smile and a bit of irreverent behavior among the tribes people. So, last week I decided to take a few days away from VST and figure out what I wanted from it. Had I graduated from the tribe of mutants? Was this drama that seems to interweave itself into threads on a regular basis worth it? Had I really been that callus in my responses as I was accused of being? I even visited another gastric sleeve board just to get a perspective of how the other tribes live. Then, it dawned on me that we all come here to get something that we need. It might be information, it might absolution, it may be reassurance, and it might even be a joke when we need one, but we all come here seeking something. Because my reasons for being here are different from others, I shouldn’t be castigated for offering an opinion or a word of tough love or even warm and fuzzy encouragement. I shouldn't feel bad to have a joke with a fellow mutant about some nonsense. But, I have decided that for now, it is best that I don’t participate as regularly as I have in the past. I want to continue to learn, I want to see how others react to their quest for health, but mainly I want to be with my tribe. I can do that from the lurkers chair just as easy as I can by participating and I don’t have to sweep the drama from my mailbox. Thanks for listening – I appreciate each and every one of you for taking the courage to make the life altering changes necessary to live a long and happy life. Peace.... John

Visiting the psychiatrist was on of my pre-requs for getting Sleeve surgery. I was pretty nervous about the interview. Who wouldn't be? Knowing that the whole approval process could come to a screeching halt based on the opinion of one guy who only spends 15 - 20 minutes with me. From talking to a fellow sleever, I knew that there was going to be a 500 question multiple choice questionnaire. I could tell right off that it was a personality test. The questions covered the whole gambit - from how did you feel about childhood, how do you feel about being an adult, do you have depressed thoughts, have you ever stolen anything, how do you feel about being in crowded situations ... ect. The kicker is that each type of question is repeated 4 or more times throughout the questionnaire - only it's asked in a different way each time. I can only assume the point is to see if you answer the same way each time - to get your true feelings. It took over an hour to complete everything. The most annoying part was - THERE WERE NO TABLES! Maybe it is part of the test to see how you react, but have you ever tried to hold a clipboard and mark answers with one hand and hold a list of test questions in the other???????????? Now this wasn't their first rodeo. They do these tests for $400 a pop. You'd think they would be a little more considerate. I felt like I was Will Smith in the 1st "Men in Black." The part where all the candidates were sitting in the egg chairs trying to take a test. And Will is the only one smart or brave enough to pull the table over to his chair. So I pulled the same thing. I spun one of the other chairs sideways and used the arm to hold the clip board. The other 2 poor schmucks in the room doggedly mustered on, trying to finish their questions the hard way.

Okay ... 2 weeks in ... And it's been all me. The first week wasn't too bad ... But week two was a little harder. I really paid attention to my food ...and myfitnesspal is a good tool. I am trying to stay around 1500 calories, but noticed I'm not always getting in all my protein, so I need to pay a little more attention to that. On the upside, hula hooping is my quick workout while watching t.v. I do cheat and wear a neoprene waist band for extra sweating lol. I know some may think I should go lower than 1500 calories, but if I get my fitness on, I get to have more calories for the day. Also, I don't want to deprive myself, because if I do, I become a binge queen. Plus for the week... Got my letter to get a fill...and down another lbs !!! Log...fitness...and self love !!!! Who's with me ?

March 22nd it will be 9 months since I was banded. I have lost right at 52 lbs, which puts me half way to goal. I have learned so much in these 9 months. I use to say, gee I don't know why I am so fat, I don't eat that much. Well, I have learned better. In 9 months I have made meals at home, had the major holidays of Thanksgiving and Christmas, traveled for work, and eaten out. What did I learn- I WAS lazy. I DID eat a lot! So what has changed.... My MIL purchased me a fitbit for my birthday in November. This counts my steps, flights of stairs taken and calculated my calories burned based on my age and weight. When I started with the fitbit I was taking about 4500 steps a day, this shocked me, I really thought it was more. Now during the week I take between 7-8000 steps on weekends 10-12000. So I have increase my activity. I am busy like most of you out there who work full time and have a house and hubs and 4 creatures in my house. So how did I increase my steps: At work instead of calling a co-worker in the same building on the phone, I walk to their office. Instead of calling kids down to my office, I walk to their classroom and pull them out (we have a HUGE campus with 3 floors so I get stairs and steps). I park further from the door at the grocery store or mall (except when it rains, because I really don't like being wet). I play with my dogs- walk them, run around the house with them, play fetch. When I cook dinner I dance around the kitchen (my husband I come to this of this as entertainment). Of course my food intake has changed, because if I want to lose weight it has to! While I use to believe I ate healthy and didn't eat much, I found out differently. Now I read labels, look for less processed foods, lower sodium and lower calorie. I do choose to eat carbs, but I look for complex carbs (whole wheats, couscous, whole grain, sweet potato) that burns energy just to process. I choose lean meats (chicken, fish, lean hamburger, turkey). For snacks I choose healthy ones, rather than processed- apples and PB, nuts (almonds), banana, greek yogurt. Portion sizes have also changed (duh). Just the nature of having my band has forced the portions to be smaller because I just can't eat more. More than that the doctor said stick to a cup or less at a time. So what does this mean.... for instance when I use to eat a taco, it was taco's like 4, now one and maybe the inside of a second, but no more. When I would eat chicken it would be 2 chicken breast, now it's hard to eat one whole one, if it's large it will likely be half. I love talipia fillets and use to eat two, now it is about 3/4 of one. Eating out.... before surgery I would go out any where and order anything that sounded good, plus and appitizer and sometimes dessert. Boy, that has changed. I plan where I will go out, google their menu and see what the healthy options are. I choose healthy items, I don't get an appitizer, I don't get dessert. Many times I will not get all the items on the entree (like I will say no rice, I don't want 2 sides). I don't feel like I am missing out on anything by cutting back. I feel good. With the increase movement I have more energy and feel better and move better. Eating less makes my tummy feel better. I don't get that horrible stuffed turkey feeling after meals. I feel like my mind is clearer, I breath better, in general feel better. So all in all, honestly now I am suprised that I wasn't bigger than I was. I am thankful that I went ahead a took the step to get my band at 31 rather than waiting till I was older and my health had declined.

So I guess that part of this is an actual scale victory, but in some ways it isn't. My whole goal for WLS was to get off as many drugs as possible. I've been taking diabetes medicine along with hbp meds, and cholesterol meds for almost 10 years. In actuality I've never been diagnosed as a diabetic, only IGT and I've never had high cholesterol. The endocrinologist that I saw, felt that this was a preventative measure. My BP was high at the time, but I am not sure that I really needed the meds. By the time I saw the Dr. I has dropped about 60 pounds, and I think if he had waited a bit before testing me, we would have seen that my numbers were coming down. My A1C never got about 6.1 until right before surgery when it when to 7.0. I was taking Actos, (a proven carcinogen) 2000mg Metformin, Avapro and Vytorin. I took myself off the Actos right before surgery after reading that it will lead to bladder cancer. After surgery, I cut my meformin back to 1500mgs. On Wednesday, I went to my PCP who has been really very supportive and we talked in detail about my plan to get off the drugs entirely. He hedges a bit, but I think he feels we can get there. So....he cut my metformin to 1000mg, cut out my Vytorin entirely and to my surprise cut my Avapro to half the dosage!!! Wasn't even lobbying for that one. We did a blood test to baseline my numbers and will do another in 3 months. I'm down 50 lbs since November 20th and have 50 to go to hit my goal. It feels SOOO good to be off the drugs. Just by having the surgery has increased my quality of life 100%. By summer, I expect to be drug free! If you are reading this and you haven't had surgery yet. This is probably the best reason above all to do it. It won't be the easiest thing that you will do and at times you will hate it But gosh the benefits so out weigh the short term struggles. Peace... John

So I made a couple of forums posts that explained what happened to me, so I won't rehash it. Suffice it to say that frustration both psychological and financial made me give up on my band for the past 6 months, but on Wednesday, I got my first fill since August of last year. It brought me up to 9 cc in my 11cc band, which still scares me a bit, but this is what's happened so far... I spent Wednesday and Thursday on liquids, progressing to a thick puréed black bean soup last night for dinner. Today I'm going a stage further having the rest of the black bean soup for lunch without the purée-ing. It's still extremely soft and barely more textured than a purée, but I wanted the practice of chewing something slowly and thoroughly to get me back in practice. Plus, it's easier for me to remember to wait between bites when there's actually something to bite onto, even if it's a mushy black bean. Getting back into the habits necessary to live with the band is big for me, since I haven't used them in months. The weirdest thing happened during lunch, though. Eating slowly and chewing bites, I ate 1/2 a cup of soup with sour cream on top and stopped. I'm trying to listen HARD to the band, and after 1/2 a cup, it told me I was satisfied. How weird is that? I don't know if I'll be hungry again in an hour, but if I am, I still have the leftovers (every last calorie allowed and accounted for) to eat to make the hunger go away. I don't know if I've actually ached restriction and am trying to remember that I won't know for potentially a week or two after the fill. But I also know that I have a follow up appointment in 12 days and a new doctor who is more than willing to do whatever it takes to get my fill right and get me to the sweet spot I'm still searching for. So, you know what? It's all good. I'm good, and I'll only get better.

I haven't posted in awhile....life is getting in the way. I am finally on track again, I started tracking my calories and protien and making a point to drink all of my water and of course exercise. I am at 220 now and I am on my way.

My entire life I have been overweight. Even back when I was in Kindergarten I was the "big" kid in class. The one that was always MUCH larger than anyone else. This trend continued my entire life. I can remember being in the 3rd grade, weighing 120 pounds and having a group of my friends start taking about their weight and one of them made the comment that I was so much bigger than them and probably weighed 85 pounds i was so big! Oh if only I weighed 85 pounds! Right then is when I truly realized just how much bigger I was than everyone else my age. Even at a young age I was always on a diet and watching what I was eating, but it was more like, watching everything I was eating go right in to my mouth, not really controlling what I was eating. MY parents put me in soccer and softball, but the weight never stayed off. I was always an active child but nothing really would help. In college I actually lost weight. I got down to 200 pounds and felt great. I know - - 200 pounds was SKINNY for me - - that is sad But the weight came right back. I've gone back and forth with wanting to lose weight on my own versus needing help and I've finally come to the conclusion, I can't won't do this on my own. I need that little something that will assist me in restricting what goes in to my mouth. I overeat. I can't control myself at times. I eat when I'm happy, when I'm sad. I eat to celebrate and I eat when I'm pissed off. I have such a strong desire to become a runner. I want to compete in marathons, yet I can't walk from my house to my barn without gasping for air. I hope and pray that this is the answer to my prayers because I need to become a healthier person, both for myself and for my kids.