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Journey began- June 22, 2012 (band day) Weight- 244 (Highest 247) 3/3/14 weight- 192.8 Sizes- pants 14/16 shirts L So much as taken place since June 2012. Some days it really hits me how much I have changed both inside and outside. I have a lot of people to thank for this including myself. My hubs- For encouraging me to move it to lose it and for being my support. His encouragement has gotten me through the rough days. My parents- for supporting me in this journey and for telling me they are proud of me. Just this weekend my dad told my hubs to buy me a new coat because they one I had was wayyy to big- this really made me feel good because my dad does not compliment people. Lapband site folks: Carolina Girl- for her no nonsense, this is the way it way of responding and blogging. Often she reminds me what this is really about. Missy- for being the ever encouraging inspiration lapband rockstar. The way she responds to post and "likes" most encourages me to hang it and that I am not a crazy bandster. Jean McMillian- for her responses, her articles, ect. This last article she wrote slapped me upside the head and I needed that Gibbs slap. The great thing about this site is while you will on occasion encounter negative nellies and the general butt hole, you also encounter folk who know what they are doing, who have and are rocking the journey and can give great encouragement and support if you just listen with an open mind. Of course there are days when I feel like crap and that I am a total failure, I think we all experience this at some point during the journey. However, times like this weekend when I try on pants and find that size 16 shorts are to big and 14's are perfect and a large shirt fit just right let me know I am doing this no matter how I see myself in the mirror. There are time when I still feel like shammoo in drag, but I am doing this- I am getting smaller and healthier. So thanks to all who have encouraged, supported, listened, responded, posted their stories, blog - you have made an impact on this bandster!!

Who I am now isn't so important as how I came to be this person, wife, mother, grandmother, sister. The history is what formed me, challenged me to overcome, compelled me to do better than those who came before me. I was born near the mid-point of the last century, in a large western US city. My parents married because they had conceived me when my mom was 16. My birth father was 19. As it turned out, he was a violent paranoid schizophrenic and a pedophile. My mom was later Dx with Borderline Personality disorder. I won't go into detail, suffice it to say that my earliest memories are horrific. My two younger brothers and I suffered the abuse and neglect until I was 9 1/2 years old, when a neighbor girl was assaulted by my birth father, he was arrested and sent to a state psychiatric hospital for treatment. I was taken in to protective custody for four days, while my mother was investigated and cleared of complicity in my abuse. He was not allowed within 300 miles of me, upon his release, 4 years later. When I was 14, he committed suicide. My mom had remarried in 1960 to a wonderful man I refer to as Dad. He earned my trust, respect and love. They had two more little boys in the two years following their marriage. My Dad died of sleep apnea in 1978, we were all devastated and heartbroken...it was the undoing of my mom and my dearest brother. My mom turned to scotch for comfort, inviting my 17 year old brother to be her drinking partner. My mom died 8 miserable years later of pancreatic cancer. Those 8 years were awful, watching my mom decline, my brothers suffer. She raged constantly, told me often that I had no idea of her pain, her suffering. She made life a living hell for her family and circle of friends. She was diagnosed and died in 12 short weeks later. My brother died 14 years later, the victim of a predatory female who took advantage of his alcoholism, a recent injury, subbed his Rx pain Meds with extra strength Tylenol. Took him 3 weeks to die of liver failure, on our dad's birthday. My heart was broken. This brother was the first male I had in my life who loved me unconditionally. He was born when I was 11 and he was like a son to me. He was my husband's best buddy, my kids favorite uncle, everybody loved him. Yes, he was an alcoholic, very high functioning, but losing him was the saddest event of my life to date. My brother has been gone for 12 years...I think of him every day. I remember my little grandkids running up to the car when I'd arrive at their house, all four of them would climb in the car hugging me, asking me "...is you sad? Did your Brubbie die? Sorry *****, usses loves you! ". They did this for months, until I finally told them I felt better because they healed my broken heart. I have 8 grandkids 6 teens, 2 in their twenties. The youngest 4 are all the same age, 3 identical girls and a boy. I am blessed. Of my four siblings, two have passed. The oldest, died at age 51 as a transient. He inherited the mental illness genes and I never saw him after my mother's death. The next oldest lives in NM, his mind ravaged by years of alcohol and drug abuse. We have minimal contact thru FB. The youngest has never been able to form healthy relationships with anyone...I see him once per year when he comes to visit. He misses his big brother too. He tells me that his true home is wherever I am. I wish my mom had let me take him when he was 15 and she went on her 8 year binge. So...this is my emotional history, in a nutshell. The other stuff doesn't matter, except to say that my family is healthy, successful and happy. We celebrate often, mourn together when the time comes and love and support each other faithfully. My kids have all been married to their HS sweethearts for over 20 years each. We have done better than the generation before us...the bar was low on my side, but my husband and his family were great role models. I'm thankful every day for their love, support and example. I miss them painfully.

Well everyone, i know it has been over a year since my last post. i am down to 159.5 and feel great. i have 30 more lbs to go. tthing have been going good and the wight has been coming off in a slow steady pace. avg 4 lb a month. i have been having some issues with abdominal pain over the last few months, its more muscle pain right in the area where my port is. idk if this is normal or what. it comes and goes, isisnt a constant thing. but other than that nothing new and exciting has been happin.

OK so this is the same as what I posted in the My Story section of my profile...but I think its a good start for my first post! I have been overweight for a large portion of my life. I started getting heavy when I was about 11 years old. I always knew I was overweight and I tried to lose weight more times than I can count. I've done it all: Weight Watchers, NutriSystem, my own diets, exercise, weight-loss pills, fad diets...you name it. I've even been an athlete for a good part of my life. I played soccer for 11 years and softball for 7 years. No matter what I did, the weight didn't come off. Sure some of it did, 10..15..maybe 20 pounds when I stuck to a program...but once I started to see a drop in weight-loss, I dropped that program. And some of them just didn't work. Then, when I was 19, I just stopped trying. I decided I was happy and could live a happy life as an over-weight girl. I have plenty of friends who love me for who I am and don't ever judge me or make fun of me for my weight. I can't even remember the last time someone called me fat (probably because if you're over the age of 16 and use that insult, you are the one with no friends). So I started just doing what I wanted. Drinking on the weekends, eating fast food and unhealthy food...just not caring. But as the months went on and my friends and I started going out to bars and clubs more, I started feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. That was the low point. When you go out, and you're dressed up, hair and makeup done, but you still feel like you're not even half as attractive as the other people in the room is one of the worst feelings someone can experience. That's when I realized I had to do something. So I started looking into weight-loss surgery options. I was thinking about having the Lap Band or the Realize Band, I just thought they would be the best option for me. Dr. Ballem was the first and only doctor I met with. He asked if I had ever heard about the sleeve surgery. I hadn't. So I did my research, decided that it was the perfect fit for me, and that was the day I started this journey. My blog is going to be about my experiences on my journey to my goal weight along with my feelings, ideas, advice, food tips, and whatever else pops into my head. Enjoy!

I can relate to so much of what you wrote. I term myself as a survivor and see you are too. Thank you for sharing

Coming up on three years since I was banded. The eight months post surgery was understably the adjustment prior. The following year a wash due to cancer surgery and treatment. Things had actually started to move in the right direction until July '12 when the problems started. I'm 22 pounds lower than the day of surgery - given all the expenses involved, that's about $1,500 a pound. To whit, I am 50+ pounds lower than my highest weight, but as a size 18w ain't no one going to call me "slim" - and I'm still a Type II diabetic. The problems, which have been bothering me since July - please, if you're having any issues, go to your WLS ASAP - continue regardless of the medications. I have my follow up to the endoscopy this week. Yesterday was classic. Out late the night before, so I slept in 'til about 10am(for me a real treat). Got up and had coffee. Not hungry, so I was working around the house i.e., on my feet on on the go. Around 2:30pm I felt hungry, so I made myself a piece of toast with Smart Balance. According to my WLS, I should be able to eat this... Nibbled it down and then it came back up or the course of six trips to the bathroom. Waited a bit and settle my stomach with some tea. Around 7pm, I managed yogurt with no problems. Several hours later I was hungry again, so I scrambled 1/4 egg sub and cooked 1/4 oatmeal. The eggs I ate standing - no problem. Took my oatmeal downstairs to eat while watching TV. Got it down no problem. Watched an episode of a fav show on my DVR - fast forwarding through commercials, so sitting for about 45 minutes. Went back upstairs to go to bed. Felt blocked and stuffed, but thought it was all in my head. Took my bedtime meds and just made it to the bathroom for another three episodes of vomiting. I'd hoped that having this procedure would mean that I could finally stop thinking about food all the time. Instead I'm thinking about it even more. What I can and can't eat. How I can avoid eating in social situations. How I can pretend eat so I can fake my way through family dinners. Knowing what I should eat, should be able to eat but choosing the slider route to be safe. God how I envy those with no food issues!

My first month after surgery I lived on Unjury's chicken broth. I got really tired of sweet tasting stuff and I couldn't do cold... even water had to be more at room tempature or luke warm. Thankfully my Dr told me to work up to the 64 oz of water, he was happy if I got in 32 oz in a day for the first two weeks and for protein it was the same thing, what ever I could manage in the first two weeks and then afterwards to get in my 80 grams.