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Okay, this post is not to bash the newbies or newts (not a newbie/not a veteran), although I can see how it could look that way. My sense of humor is dry/sarcastic and it's hard to convey that in print. I thought I'd start compiling some of the most commonly asked questions I see posted on weekly basis, just to show that you are not alone with your thoughts and concerns. Will all my hair fall out after VSG? "Individuals don't begin to notice the increase in hair loss when showering or brushing the hair until about three months post-surgery. Although the resting hair is being pushed out of the scalp by new hair that is already growing, it can take anywhere from about six months to a year for the hair to return to its normal fullness. Individuals who have undergone gastric bypass or other operations of the digestive tract designed to reduce obesity are more prone to hair loss post-surgery. This is due to the reduced intake of food in the weeks and months immediately following these procedures. The body needs an adequate amount of proteins and vitamins to maintain hair production. Protein-enhanced shakes are often recommended for these patients as a substitute until solid food can be better tolerated. Hair loss related to surgery typically reverses itself without any medicinal intervention or the need for over-the-counter hair loss tonics or treatments. However, maintaining a diet rich in protein and iron is believed to help promote and speed up healthy hair growth. Suggested foods include salmon, beans, eggs, spinach, broccoli, nuts and whole-grain cereals. Avoid foods that can inhibit hair growth, such as those that contain high levels of caffeine and fat." Losing Hair After Surgery | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/...l#ixzz2Maz1GjQH Can I take my leftover stomach home in a jar? Man, what kind of sickie... um I mean, that's a very astute question. I didn't ask my doctor about it, but from what I've read, it's considered medical waste and a biohazard in the U.S. So you can't have it as a trophy or to tan and make a beanie out of it. If you're having surgery out of the country, then they may let you take it home, just be careful going through customs. If they ask about it, just tell them you found proof that the Chupacabra exists in Mexico. Can't I do this with out the surgery? You know, eat the crazy small amounts and still lose weight? Why isn't that ok? You can eat the small meals to lose weight, and it is okay. I just couldn't live that lifestyle for very long. It was a non-stop battle to keep myself from eating more. How did you choose your doctor, how much did it cost, and how did you pay for it? I don't want to recommend my doctor, since I wasn't happy with the aftercare, but I paid about $5k between the doctor and hospital. I put it on a credit card and will have it paid off before the end of the year. I found my doctor by calling my insurance company and getting a list of approved WLS doctors. I did a Google search for each doctor and read the reviews before choosing my surgeon. Do you regret having WLS surgery? I do not regret it for a minute. Even with all the discomfort of the 1st 10 days, I am very happy with the result. Food is no longer the focus of my life and I love sitting at a buffet restaurant knowing that I will only eat about 1/4 plate of food. What do I need to pack for the hospital? Here is a long list of suggestions on things you might want to consider taking with you. http://www.verticals...surgery-thread/ How soon after surgery can I start drinking alcohol? I'm sure every doctor has their own recommendations, but my doctor said wait 6 months post-surgery before drinking alcohol again. I'm not a big drinker to begin with, so I didn't miss alcohol. But I did drink about 2 oz. of Tequila at month 6 or 7 and was buzzing immediately, more so than I would have been pre-surgery. So, if you're going to start drinking again, just be aware that it may take less alcohol to impair your system. :-)

I just got back from Costco, and noticed something while I was there. I noticed that my entire outlook toward food has changed. And I haven't even had my surgery yet! Normally, I would stop at every free sample station to try them out. Not today. A guy walked by with a big slice of pizza, loaded with toppings. I looked at it in disgust! I feel a sort of disdain toward food, like it's the food's fault for letting me get to this point. I just got the same feeling when a Red Lobster commercial came on the tv. Normally, I would have been salivating, and wanting to gorge myself. But again, disgust. I'm not sure what it all means, just thought it was interesting. I suppose a psychologist could give me some insight into what it means.

Who I am now isn't so important as how I came to be this person, wife, mother, grandmother, sister. The history is what formed me, challenged me to overcome, compelled me to do better than those who came before me. I was born near the mid-point of the last century, in a large western US city. My parents married because they had conceived me when my mom was 16. My birth father was 19. As it turned out, he was a violent paranoid schizophrenic and a pedophile. My mom was later Dx with Borderline Personality disorder. I won't go into detail, suffice it to say that my earliest memories are horrific. My two younger brothers and I suffered the abuse and neglect until I was 9 1/2 years old, when a neighbor girl was assaulted by my birth father, he was arrested and sent to a state psychiatric hospital for treatment. I was taken in to protective custody for four days, while my mother was investigated and cleared of complicity in my abuse. He was not allowed within 300 miles of me, upon his release, 4 years later. When I was 14, he committed suicide. My mom had remarried in 1960 to a wonderful man I refer to as Dad. He earned my trust, respect and love. They had two more little boys in the two years following their marriage. My Dad died of sleep apnea in 1978, we were all devastated and heartbroken...it was the undoing of my mom and my dearest brother. My mom turned to scotch for comfort, inviting my 17 year old brother to be her drinking partner. My mom died 8 miserable years later of pancreatic cancer. Those 8 years were awful, watching my mom decline, my brothers suffer. She raged constantly, told me often that I had no idea of her pain, her suffering. She made life a living hell for her family and circle of friends. She was diagnosed and died in 12 short weeks later. My brother died 14 years later, the victim of a predatory female who took advantage of his alcoholism, a recent injury, subbed his Rx pain Meds with extra strength Tylenol. Took him 3 weeks to die of liver failure, on our dad's birthday. My heart was broken. This brother was the first male I had in my life who loved me unconditionally. He was born when I was 11 and he was like a son to me. He was my husband's best buddy, my kids favorite uncle, everybody loved him. Yes, he was an alcoholic, very high functioning, but losing him was the saddest event of my life to date. My brother has been gone for 12 years...I think of him every day. I remember my little grandkids running up to the car when I'd arrive at their house, all four of them would climb in the car hugging me, asking me "...is you sad? Did your Brubbie die? Sorry *****, usses loves you! ". They did this for months, until I finally told them I felt better because they healed my broken heart. I have 8 grandkids 6 teens, 2 in their twenties. The youngest 4 are all the same age, 3 identical girls and a boy. I am blessed. Of my four siblings, two have passed. The oldest, died at age 51 as a transient. He inherited the mental illness genes and I never saw him after my mother's death. The next oldest lives in NM, his mind ravaged by years of alcohol and drug abuse. We have minimal contact thru FB. The youngest has never been able to form healthy relationships with anyone...I see him once per year when he comes to visit. He misses his big brother too. He tells me that his true home is wherever I am. I wish my mom had let me take him when he was 15 and she went on her 8 year binge. So...this is my emotional history, in a nutshell. The other stuff doesn't matter, except to say that my family is healthy, successful and happy. We celebrate often, mourn together when the time comes and love and support each other faithfully. My kids have all been married to their HS sweethearts for over 20 years each. We have done better than the generation before us...the bar was low on my side, but my husband and his family were great role models. I'm thankful every day for their love, support and example. I miss them painfully.

I'm not going to give up. I'm not going to let stress get the best of me. I'm done, and I'm moving on... Monday is a new day, a new challenge...

I had my first experience with getting the slimes a few days ago. I had eaten a little too much in hopes of trying to get a little more calories and protein in for the day. I wasn't all that hungry. In fact, I'm never really all that hungry. I find I am less hungry at 4 weeks post op than I was at 2. It is probably because I am eating denser food which takes time to digest, but it is a weird feeling. I go basicaly the whole day without really feeling hungry. Yesterday, it took me 5 hours to nurse down my protein shake! Some days are better than others. Most mornings I can just drink the whole thing down in like half an hour. Well, I vowed that I would never eat too much again because the slimes is not an experience I wanted to have again. Fast forward a few days AND I GOT THEM AGAIN!!! This time it was because I think I ate too fast. I was eating some slivers of pecorino romano. Everything felt fine. I didn't feel anything stuck in my throat, my belly didn't feel full at all. I thought it was the easiest thing do go down I've tried so far. Maybe that was the problem...it was too easy going down. Sure enough, maybe 20 minutes later my mouth started salivating and I started "dry heaving" so I ran to the bathroom. I stayed there for awhile while I "almost" puked. Just to put it in perspective, I've always had a problem with puking...meaning my body doesn't like to give it up. Even in my college days, when I used to party all the time I could never puke. I would get sick and dry heave, but never puke! I want to puke because I know it will feel better after I do, but it just never works out that way. So I always get the dry heaves without the vomit...and it is extremely annoying. I think I've puked twice in the past 20 years. One of those times was when I had extreme food poisoning. After about 20 minutes of being in the bathroom, I felt a little better. I went back to my room and sat on the bed. And then burp! And after that burp I felt sooo much better. I vowed I would never slime again, but I realized I don't have this all figured out yet. I've been eating healthy, getting my protein and water in etc. The cheese I ate was pretty healthy, but maybe it was too dense for this belly. I haven't had any problems with any of the food that I have eaten thus far. My taste buds haven't changed. The same food that I ate before still looks delicious to me. I think the difference is I don't have that hunger to push me over the edge where I reach for it and put it in my mouth. I kind of just walk past it and say, "that looks yummy." I'm struggling to get in 600 calories a day and 80 grams of protein so I am not at all tempted to eat something that isn't going to fuel my weight loss. So what I've learned? 1. Even if a food goes down easily I should still eat slooooowwwwwwwww. 2. I don't have everything figured out yet. I'm probably going to make a few more mistakes 3. Don't force myself to eat more if I'm not hungry...even if my calories have to suffer for a day (I'd rather listen to my body) 4. I haven't tried every food yet...there might be something my tummy doesn't like despite the good luck I've had thus far 5. I HATE SLIMING. IT'S NASTY! 6. I have to find my own way. I can always seek advice and see other people's stats and what worked for them, but each person is different and I have to find what works for me. “No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man.” ― Heraclitus “Not I, nor anyone else can travel that road for you. You must travel it by yourself. It is not far. It is within reach. Perhaps you have been on it since you were born, and did not know. Perhaps it is everywhere - on water and land.” ― Walt Whitman

This is a long time coming. "They" say that journaling is a good way for people on a weight loss journey to deal with "things". I am a little over halfway to goal, so I'd say it's about time. I thought I would start with my story- what got me to this point. The point of absolute desperation. The point at which I was so desperate to lose weight that I ELECTIVELY allowed a surgeon to remove the majority of my stomach. When it is put that way (and honestly when I tell someone verbally what VSG is), it sounds so ridiculous. I mean, who does that? I wasn't ever a really fat kid. I was pretty active and grew up in the 80's, a time before video games, PC's, cable TV, and a lot of the technology that keeps kids of today sitting for hours instead of playing outside. I was just a little chubby until I became less active around puberty, then began the constant battle. I spent my high school years gaining weight, until I was a little under 200 lbs by the end of my junior year. I was also by this time a "secret eater". I worked in a bakery when I was 15, and would sneak in a big bag of bakery fresh cookies to my bedroom and eat them all when no one was looking. And so it went on, until the summer between junior and senior year, when I went on the Nutrisystem diet plan and lost 45 pounds before the start of my senior year. My senior year was pretty fab- I was a drama geek, and due to the weight loss, I landed the lead in the fall play and a significant part in the spring musical. In college, I gained it all back. Over the years, I have lost and gained probably hundreds of pounds. I got married in 2002 at 217 pounds, had a baby two years later. A week after my son was born and all the water weight was gone, I was at 245 lbs. In 2007, I was up to 285. By this time last year, I was at my all time high, 302 lbs. My mom called and asked if I would be interested in WLS. She said she would help me pay for it. (Backstory: my 32 year old brother died suddenly in Feb 2011, and she was/is really afraid to lose another child). I went to the information session in April 2012 and had my 1st appointment in May. Over the next several months, I completed all of my pre-op requirements, including losing 30 pounds. Due to my crazy work and school schedule, I had to have my surgery just before Christmas, on December 17, 2012. It has been kind of a crazy ride, and I am still learning how to "work my sleeve", but so far, it has been so amazing. I couldn't have done it by myself. After more than 30 years fighting this battle, this I know.

This morning I gingerly stepped on the dreaded scale, and much to my delight, it showed me I was down 20 pounds since pre-op! Of course I did a happy dance, and then turned around and checked myself out in the mirror. Something I haven't done for a while. To my amazement, I noticed I lost a roll in my back. I went from two to one! I'm starting to get a waist back again, and I feel lighter. Then, to add to my reverent state of mind, my husband comes up to me telling me his underware is like hanging off of him, and he needs to go buy new underware. We are both obese, and since I've started this journey, he's been by my side, and doing well for himself too. He's lost now 18 pounds I think? He said to me, "When you're doing good, I'm doing good too." Awe.