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Today I'm one month post up I down 15 pounds!! I'm continuing to learn more everyday and follow the rules!

So I started my journey on January 7 and has since lost a total of 26 pounds. Now I'm happy about my weight loss but I'm really happy about fitting into a pair of jeans I haven't worn in a whole year. It's the little steps that count. :wub:

This morning got up early and went to my son's house. Last week my grandson was 13 and we had to bring him his b. day gifts. My son went and bought fresh made bagels. I was polite and asked for 1/4 of a bagel and he put Smart Balance on it. Nothing. That is how I felt about eating a former breakfast food. Nothing. I can live without them. I loved that. Some foods I can not go without but bagels are on the good bye list. On my never live without list is pizza, bread in restaurants, almonds, pasta and Chinese food. I think that is it. If you can't have what you really love and enjoy yourself the Band will not work with you because you will go after all these forbidden foods. Or that is how I see it with me. Have a wonderful weekend and hopefully no storms where you live. "Eye Candy"

I remember during my undergrad studies in Psychology reading a paper that talked about people who were addicted to gambling and a peculiar memory trait that only allowed them to remember the times that they won. This caused them to constantly misjudge the odds when placing a bet, because the were overly optimistic about their chances. I think that we who are fat have a similar trait, but in reverse. We only remember the times that we have failed in our journey to be fit, and so when there is temptation, when there are rough spots we err by forgetting all the scale victories, all the nsvs, all the times that we beat temptation and made a right choice and we only remember the times when we failed. So we believe that failure is inevitable and give in. Today has been a hard day for me, I am experiencing a bit of bandster hell, combined with a generous portion of head hunger and emotional eating and the only thing I can think about is why bother, I am just going to fail anyhow. No, I haven't given in to those voices, but I have had one NSV after another this last week, I am within 4 pounds being at the lowest weight I have been at since I was a freshman in high school, and yet my failures are the memories parade before me today. One of the things that the people of the Old Testament did when God did something spectacular in their lives was they built a marker, a pile of stones to remind them of the victory that had happened in that place. I think I need to start building some markers in my life so that I can concentrate on the victories, and not the defeats.

I know I've been working out, and lifting a little bit of weights. So I was thinking I was putting on muscle mass, but I'm not losing inches. I have been meeting my protein requirements, but I'm thinking may I need to get in more. It's frustrating that the scale has gone up progressively as the days have passed. I just recently had my period, so I know it's not water weight. I don't really know what else to do I don't regret this surgery one bit, and even hitting a 40 pound weight loss, despite not being able to notice it too much. I guess I'm just impatient and dissatisfied that my body isn't losing the weight the way I want it to.

So I decided today that I would give in to my hubby's complaining. We went to Ihop for breakfast with my 2 year old daughter. I knew how much I could eat so I was trying real hard to think of a way of ordering that would save us money and not waste a lot of food. I am 3.5 weeks post op and on soft foods. I knew I wanted an omelette, but the price was $15.99 for an omelet AND it came with all this other stuff like pancakes and hash browns. So I asked the waitress if I could get it without all that stuff (meaning...like as a side order) and she said yes. Well...fast forward 30 minutes and the bill comes and I still was charged the $15.99!!! She said there was no other way to ring it up. Ugh...that was sort of what I was asking! I know I wasn't very clear on that, but I figured it was common sense that of course I could order something and tell them to hold them, but pay the same price. Anyways, lesson learned. I ate about an eighth of my omelet (which was yummy) and told the waitress (at the end of my meal) that since I had to pay for it, then I would just take it to go. I took them to my mom so she could enjoy the pancakes. So I don't really know if I will be eating out again anytime soon. It was a huge waste of money and food. I will be eating that omelet for the next few days. On a happier note, my daughter was ecstatic about her pancakes and her sausage which made this mama happy.

Day three of my liquid diet and it's been going pretty good. I don't trust my scale at all cause it's saying I'm 258 and yesterday at the doctor I was 263. I don't think it's possible to lose THAT much in less than a day? O_O I dk. But whatever. lol I'm not complaining. I've been obsessing with looking at people's before and after's. That's seriously all I've been doing since like 7am. I like finding younger people around my age and seeing how they've done. Especially those who've had the sleeve. 12 more days to go!

And no, I am not talking about the size of my butt! Just looking at my ticker and based on my surgeon's first goal for me, I am over have way there, but as many veterans have warned me weight loss has slowed, but is still on a downward trend. It would be nice to extrapolate based on what I have lost so far as to how long it will take me to meet that goal, but WLS doesn't work that way. My spin classes have been giving me great cardio, and building my leg muscles but they have also been playing havoc with the scale. As my body retains water to deal with the micro tears that encourage new muscle growth, the scale stays the same (or climbs) for days on end, then one morning I will get up and have dropped 3-4 pounds from one night to the next. But if I am logging my food, and exercise I can pretty much ignore this by knowing what is real. Next step is adding in strength training, since I don't want a lot of upper body mass, low weights and lots of repetition will tone my upper body without making me look like the Hulk.