Leaderboard

using my want power, i do not eat when i am stressing or dealing negative people in my life.......thankfully i am able to use other coping measures. at work, with rude people, i take a walk up and down the halls....at home, in MIL issues or TOM issues with hub, i take a short stroll or take a hot bath and lose myself in a book.....come to far to let (food) get in my way. great post

so i was hanging with friends yesterday and we dont see each other very often. once a month maybe. anyway they decided they wanted to drink. n i wasnt gunna. but they convinced me to have a sip. no big deal. it made my stomach kind of crampy so i didnt continue (wasnt planning on it anyway but yeah) i did have some "scale-less victories" yesterday though. we were at subway. i didnt eat anything there. but we have friends that work there and they sort of burnt some cookies like 2 dozen and she brought the tray over and asked hey free cookies u want some? i didnt take any! and i love those cookies. my one friend took about six my other two. so that was good. but then we went back to my friends house to drink (them not me) and we decided we were gunna see what all the fuss was about on that chatroulette site. it was a horrible demeaning experience.. so we maybe talked to idk 15-10 people and three of them asked if i was my other friends' mother... im 21 for christ sake... one person as soon as they could see us started pointing and yelling "fat lady fat lady fat lady!!" over and over. another person said they didnt want to talk to us because i was a heifer... another person once they could see us said "WHOA" we asked what.. they said man she's fat. my friends just dont get it.. they just ignored these people and what they were saying to me..didnt even try to stick up for me.. they know its all true and so do i.. i would have just left but i never get to see them.. so it ruined my night and i was depressed all night. being the "buzz kill" that i am. it certainly didnt help i have been having a tough time w my depression and stuff this week.. not sure why but it feels like im off all of them.. not good.. they just dont get it and they literally are avoiding talking about the ELEPHANT in the room.. they tell me what do u care what random people think of you.. well cuz its confirming how i feel others look at me everyday especially at classes.. i have a hard time making friends and i feel thats half the reason.. i have no confidence and am so insecure that when people hit my like that it really really hurts... this is the only place where people might understand.. i dont expect people to say im beautiful, but my god.. another reason im posting this is so maybe when im successful with my band that i can look back at this and not forget how horrible things are/were. also i have now decided if i ever date people again my test is going to be what they think of obese people.. if they have bad feedback. theyre out of here. people suck. thats all i can say..

About three or so months ago Jacksonville held the biggest adoption event ever for cats and dogs. Over 850 cats and dogs were adopted in a single weekend. As some of you know I am a big advocate for abused animals and rescue overly abused iguanas. Every year over 8 million dogs and cats are euthanized because people refuse to spay or neuter their pets. That is 8 million too many. I vowed this year I was going to put some kind of happenings in to action regarding euthanasia and abuse to animals and began writing my senators and congress men and women. Of course they nix things like this off because after all it is just an animal. An animal that has no voice. We can house rapist and murderers, feed them, clothe them, provide shelter but can't save a helpless animal from being put to death because an owner just didn't want them anymore, refused to feed them, or like with pit bulls chose to fight them until they died. The first congressional hearing is going to happen. I am taking my voice to be their voice to Washington D.C. in April to stand before our law makers and make them accountable to make harsher punishments for people who abuse animals, to provide aide to shelters so that these animals can live until they are adopted, to make owners who surrender pets just because they don't want them anymore to have to pay fines besides just a surrender fee. With the help of three attorneys here in Jacksonville, our Mayor, and several SPCA members from this area along with law enforcement, we are all going to make our voices heard. Every cities shelters need help. If you can donate some of your time please do, if you have old blankets, can donate some food please do. These animals do not deserve to die because people throw them away like garbage. I am also urging any of you to write your senators and congressmen and women to provide the funds needed so that shelters won't have to euthanize animals. I know I am only one person but by God I am doing something to try to help save these babies. When you adopt an animal it is part of your family. I don't think any good parent would surrender a child because they didn't want them anymore. A pet is for life. Also if you want to adopt an animal go to a shelter. Most of the time you pay only 20 bucks and the animals are already fixed and if you already have an animal please get them spayed or neutered. We owe it to animals and children to make sure they get the best care they deserve.

Awesome!! All 4 of my fur babies are rescues. Chloe the Greyhound was rescued from the track- she is such a sweetheart!! Molly our Bassett German Shepard was about to be put done in a shelter. Macy and Rocky the cats were also rescue from kill shelters. Whenever we want to adopt a new pet I just can't go get one from a breeder, I want to get a pet love who hasn't ever had it before. I love my precious babies!!

Great start, it isn't just about losing fat, it is about getting healthy and exercise it a really big part of that.

I, too, am very sorry you had to endure that. I hope one day you will also find the confidence to speak up for yourself with your friends and others to not allow anyone to speak to you that way either. It is very hard to find that voice and courage for many of us that have wanted to be "hidden" for so many years. You did great yesterday w/ not eating or drinking the junk and for that you should be very proud. Food doesn't have to control your life anymore, YOU do and you being strong like that is proving you can and ARE doing this!! Just try not to internalize the rudeness of others and insensitivity of others. Bottling those feelings of hurt are often what led us to such poor self images and turning to food for comfort. Have a great day!

Look at the healthy new you! The new tool you are being given can change these things to PAST and good reasons to go forward. The choices are in your hands and wishing you the best. Today is a new day. Needing an extension belt on a plane was a reality and not a happy one. It is PAST and will be for you. Follow your PRESENT and FUTURE, filled with hope and sunshine. TODAY is a new healthy day! GOD is so good!

I tell my kids the reason why some people pick on others or hurt their feelings is because they feel badly about themselves and this helps them cope......but we are adults here and I can turn my mommy filter off and just simply say......SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST A**HOLES!! Don't let ignorant people like that slow you down. The only person that can truly make you happy is you and you will do fine!! Good luck to you!! :-)

Amy your post was simply heartbreaking. I am so incredibly sorry that you encountered such mean, nasty people. No one deserves that abuse. Hang in there. ((hugs))

So I am currently on the mushy stage of my diet. Basically I can eat whatever I can mush up or thick liquids. If it can be pureed or mushied it can be eaten right now. I have a rather large combined family and one of my biggest fears is it would be really hard not to want to eat the things the kids can have but I cannot. So subtly, over the last few grocery trips I have been making small changes that add up. I bought spaghetti sauce with less sugar in it. I bought turkey meatballs and I changed their pasta to whole wheat. (I dont eat the pasta and probably never will again). So when I made dinner.. The kids never said a word about the new taste of the meal. They loved it! They never knew the difference in the meatballs because I never said anything like "Hey this is really different.. try it". I just cooked like normal but with better ingredients. The family had their pasta dinner and I had two mushed up tiny meatballs and a little bit of sauce. Family dinner was a success. Then last night's dinner was Mexican food night. Now.. I LOVE Mexican food. There is a little hole in the wall place here in the town I live in that I visited at least 4 times a week pre surgery. Yeah.. I admit it.. its my favorite and a weakness. I made the taco meat with ground turkey and just seasoned it like normal. The seasoning turned it the orange color and gave it the same flavor. The kids never knew the difference. Used lower fat cheese and for the fajitas we did grilled chicken. I had fat free refried beans with a little salsa on top. Lunch today was tomato soup with skim milk. They love tomato soup so that was never a fear. I was so scared I would want to eat junk food. In all reality I am improving the health of my kids and they don't even know the difference. I am not making a huge deal out of EVERYTHING HAS TO CHANGE!!! If I do that.. they will shut down and not want anything new. I bought this HUGE box of sugar free popsicles and the kids love them for treats. I wanted to write this blog to let other people know if you are worried about how the kids will react to the diet changes, just change it. Just make stuff and set it on the table. The rule in my house is if you are hungry enough you will eat. Try to make small little changes to favorites that make them healthier without changing everything they love. Another thing we have always done is there is never ever tv on during dinner. It is our time as a family to talk about the day. I think this kind of distracts them a little bit. It is so important for me to keep that time as a special family time. Where food was always the center of family get togethers, I think it in some ways still can be. We just have to make healthier decisions. So far even right down to the 6 year old, I have gotten great support from my kiddos. I am so happy my major change can also be a healthy change for them without negatively impacting them. The last thing I want is to find any of my daughters obsessing over a scale before school. I want this to be an easy transition for everyone. While I am still learning what I can eat, I am having fun experimenting and looking at new things to cook for everyone. I am sure I can come up with healthy treats and things kids love without gaining weight back. I am just going to have to make the effort and be excited and say things like Oh my gosh you guys.. this is so yummy. If I have something yummy, most of the time they want to try it. I still have my days where the smell of bacon wants me to know over my grandma for a plate of food.. but I think this journey is going to be a lot less hard than I thought as long as I just do it. My imagination is so much worse than reality. Don't pysche yourself out. You got this.