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I had a wonderful non scale victory this weekend! I was able to shop in a "normal" store! I went to Old Navy and bought some shirts and a blazer! It felt wonderful!!! No more shopping in the "big girls store" down 50 lbs!!!! whooo hooo!

Sometimes a good cry is needed! I hope everything goes well for you w/o gas pains.

At work on Wednesday they fed us lunch and I couldn't resist the free food. I had a single serving of pototo chips (160 calories) and 1/2 of a big cookie that came with the meal. If I hadn't already eaten earlier I wouldn't have felt so bad about it. So I tried to make up for it by walking an extra mile the same day. Sometimes the temptation is there, it's hard to make the best food choices, but I don't think I went too far overboard. I woke up 2 lbs lighter this morning. You have any tips to avoid temptation?

OK here goes. I have been using my cell to piddle around on here I figured it is time to get on a computer. I have had an extremely rough journey. So I figure it best to give you folks a timeline. January 16th Wednesday Surgery day, everything went well took a little less than an hour and about an hour in recovery to wake up. Once awake they transport you to your room. Its like a blur because you are still groggy. January 17th Thursday Released from hospital wishing they would keep me another day. But that is the way they do it get you in and get you out. That night I was in so much pain I attempted to lay in the bed but it caused so much pain I ended up sitting up on the couch to sleep. I could not get up or down on my own due to the pain in my abdomen. Mainly one incision. It turned out this is the incision they pull the stomach through. I didn't sleep this whole week. Regretting what I have done to myself. I had a few breakdowns this week due to lack of sleep. I would sleep about 2 hours at a time. I have no answer as to why but I would just wake up as if startled. Also I was having trouble getting down my pain meds. Hydrocodone, it was so gross I would at times throw it up. But eventually found they would flavor it. Grape bubblegum is a fav I find that because it is like 2 flavors its way better. Plus now I chase it with a drink lol. My diet is consisting of soup soup and soup with some yogurt and Popsicles.. January 19th Abdominal binder! YAY!!!. An abdominal binder basically keeps everything for moving and promotes circulation and healing. January 24th Thursday First follow up visit. I explain to my surgeon the extreme pain I am in. I can barely get up or down on my own and I am basically in tears in her office. She explained to be that my belly looked fine and all my incisions were healing well. I was told "Well Nicole you know your young you have never had major surgery or kids and this is a lot for you to adjust too." At this point im thinking well im never having kids lol. She then made me get up from the table on my own trying to teach me how to roll and then sit up. I felt as I had ripped my belly open. By later that evening I was throbbing. January 25th I noticed I am a bit more swollen and believe it is due to the drs appt. I start wearing my abdominal binder again. Also I rotated heating packs and ice packs in hopes of reducing swelling. January 27th I am now red and swollen. I was still using the ice packs in hopes of reducing the pain. I had emailed the RN in her office over the weekend because I was having low grade fevers constantly about 99.9 January 28th My surgeon calls trying to get me to come in and is quite disappointed with me when I tell her I have no one to bring me in when she is available due to her timing I would have to wait til my follow up January 31st That morning I go to get in the shower before my fiancee leaves for work. Keep in mind at this point I couldn't even put my own pants on due to pain. I get in the shower look down and puss and blood is shooting out of my incision. I then do what anyone in my position would naturally do...scream for my fiancee lol I go to the drs office and they let me know I have an infection and that they need to clean it out. ME not knowing whats going to happen next goes oh ok. She took a tool and ripped my incision open without numbing me. Then she squeezed everything out. I at this point am yelling. and being told to calm down. And just so everyone knows this is common for drs to do! They feel like by the time they numb it which it doesn't totally work they would be done. I have been told this by quit a few nurses. I am sent home to do my own packing when I went back to the dr my skin had started coming off and I had some necrotic bits. I was immediately sent to the hospital and there I stayed til February 6th. I was nauseous the whole time and didn't eat for almost the whole time I was there. January 31st-February 6th Hospital February 6th Home, they wanted to me to stay another day but I said nope. I was tired of being sick. February 8th Finally no longer nausea's and eating food. Tuna, Salmon, Real crab, Hard time with protein shakes, threw that up a lot in the hospital. Nurses now come to the house repacking every day twice a day. February 13th Changed to silver packing. Only needs to be changed every 3-5 days. Less nurses less money lol.

SOOOOOO, I will be going back to work 2-20. My Dr told me it is perfectly fine to go back to work with my wound as long as I cover it properly. Typical packing gauze and bandage. Also to wear my abdominal binder for extra coverage. Home depot has this dust that gets on everything. In other news I am 241 today and according to my nutritionist I am right on track. They expect at this point for me to have lost 25% of my excess weight. The weigh in they first counted was 266 (I started this at 270). And that is a gastric bypass guideline!! She said that with sleeves normally its a little less so that makes me happy. (Sleeved 1/16) I see a lot of people on here worry about how much they are loosing. I find that the larger you are you will loose a lot more the first few months then a smaller sleever. Patience is a virtue. Soooo cliche but true I have obsessed over my weight this month and with being in and out of the hospital. All to find out I am doing good. I have even been taking in more than I should solid wise due to my gag reaction to protein. The dietitian told me that she understood why and was glad I was trying to stay healthy but try to find one protein shake a day so I can cut back to the 3 ounces of solid. In 2 weeks I can add raw veggies/fruits back in my diet. I cant add exercise back in til this wound heals I am sure that would make a huge difference but I may still be 3 weeks out from that. If I can keep up 25 lbs a month I would be ecstatic!!! My goal weight is 165. Honestly I still cant believe I am sleeved. -Nicole-

It's a very hard struggle you are going through right now but look at it this way: If you don't stay healthy for them then who will take care of both of them. At some time through out the day eat. Whether you want to or not. Your health is important for them now and not all nursing homes are bad. Im not saying to put your mother in one when your dad passes but you have to look out for yourself now more then ever because they need you. You have to know that just because your mother said she never wanted to go in one of those places, she wont remember that. Dealing with elderly parents is all of our worst struggles at middle age and doing what is best for them while trying to do what is best for us. I hope you find some kind of peace in your life to do what you think is right. No matter what you still have to take care of you.

You should Love yourself today. You do actually. You love yourself enough to go through this life-risking surgery. But please don't allow yourself to "cheat" after surgery. Stick to the guidelines and only allow yourself to adhere to a healthy diet/lifestyle. Why go for junk food after putting your life on a tight rope. Dont let it be all for nothing. And you will need pain medication. Who cares if you are loopy. You need pain control so you can get out of bed and walk at least 4 hours after surgery to avoid blood clots. Good luck to you.

I understand your frustration i had recently went through the same thing. With you still being so fresh with the sleeve you need to up your protein and water intake. I no it sounds weird ok why do i need to UP my calories to lose weight. But after your body goes into shock and losses weight it says oh ok well i see what there doing nope not gunna happen today and it clings hard to whatever fat and calories it has stored up so that it does "starve" you really do want to up your calories/protein so it doesnt start effecting your organs and breaking down your tissue. I was in a stall for about 2-3 weeks but was working out everyday taking in 600-800 calories so i was like why the heck and i not lossing/ So i upd my calories to around 900 kept working out and bam lost 3 pounds in 3 days. So try that see if it helps it might be as simple as taking on one extra shake a day. Good luck keep us posted.