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Out of many thousands of members that are part of this community I do not believe that any one of you know me personally, have been my best friend, my family, my children, or my coworkers. I am sick and tired of those of you who think the things I say, are because I am mean. No one has the right to tell me to apologize to anyone. When I answer any post I am not saying it mean but that is the whole darn point. When two people read a book or even a stupid three word sentence neither one will interpret that book or sentence in the same manner. I have been in the medical field for 30 years. I have never had a patient, coworker, boss, best friend say that I am mean or complain about me and you know why???? Because I am not. I am not a coddler or tell you what you want to hear type of person. I tell the truth. I am not a class act but a very bright intelligent woman. I have two degrees in healthcare administration, have published 6 books, taught child birth education, parenting. I have worked as a case manager for pregnant women, taught nutrition classes for pregnant lap band patients. I have worked everywhere from surgery to med surg, oncology and telemetry. I dont think that if I was mean I would still have a job in the health care field. I think the problem does not lie within me but those of you who feel that I am mean or so you say. When I post something that you dont like and you ream me out, then are you any better. Then you get your few 3 friends you have on here to do the same thing. None of this is about me but about your own insecurities that you feel the need to jump all over me because you feel some kind of way about yourself. Like I said earlier look in your own mirror because the problem lies within you not me. I won't lose sleep tonight because you think I am mean. I won't have any less friends in my real life because of a handful of people who think they know what I am thinking at all times. I can imagine it would be sad that you are thinking I hate her when you don't even know me. That is why people end up having such a lonely life because they think too much about how other people are when in all reality what you are thinking is farther from the truth. If you are obese like we all are and I say the word obese then forgive me for using the proper medical terms instead of saying you are fat. I just do not get it how any of you can assume anything about me. You are reading words that are typed. You don't know what I was thinking or feeling when I typed it. You don't know anything about me. You just assume. So before you judge me and my character look at yourself and figure out what it is that makes you so upset with what I say. It's you not me. I don't take offense to anything anyone writes on here you know why? Because I do not know one single person that comes here. I don't live with them, don't sleep with them, or even know where most of you live. So before any of you tell me I am mean, please look at yourself and figure out what it is that is wrong with you. I don't have a mean bone in my body but truthfull yes I can be called that. So let me tell you who I am. I am a 50 year old happily married woman with two sons and two grand daughters. I am loved by my family, friends, coworkers and my patients oh and let me not forget my animals. I am well respected by a ton of people. On my days off I teach nutrition for lapband patients in different surgeons offices here where I live. Yes I teach nutrition classes. Imagine that I know what I am talking about. I think I have enough knowledge to give people advice and unless that person is complaining about me being mean then why should you. When you know me personally then you can say what you want but until then, don't judge me. If I was not answering to your post then why are you getting offended? Must have a guilty conscience.

This morning I did my norm morning routine. Got up pottied and got on the scale before dressing (TMI I know, but it is always best to weigh in you birthday suit). The hubs walks in and hugs me and says "geez I can reach my elbows when I wrap my arms around you". Then he said "I'm proud of you babe, but don't get so skinny I have to shake the sheets to find ya". For those who don't know my husband is visually impaired. His vision is 20/800 - legally blind since birth. Granted he is well educated graduated with honors with a degree in computer science and is a well respected software engineer. He just can't see very well. So it's always been the running joke that he feel for me because I was large print (he always replied to that with you said that not me). Now he is joking saying I am getting so small he won't be able to see me anymore. The joking is all in fun- he is very supportive of my weight loss journey and is helping me leaps and bounds. But I must say it would be nice for him to have to shake the sheets to find me

This is the first day of the rest of my life. Day one of the clear liquids pre-operative diet. I have dreaded this day for some time now. About two weeks ago, my 10-year-old daugher told me, with resignation in her voice, that I should, "Eat what you can, while you can." I wholeheartedly agreed. Every day after that, I thought about what I would love to eat and how much of it I would eat. After a couple of days I realized that I didn't really want anything! I was sick of food and my dysfunctional relationship with it! I couldn't wait for...today. Now it's here. I didn't sleep well last night. I had wicked weird dreams. I think that my stress level is probably through the roof. Thank goodness I am not prone to high blood pressure. I woke this morning with butterflies in my stomach. I'm excited and scared at the same time. I'm afraid that my brain will sabotoge the pre-op requirements. I know I can keep my stomach full. I am allowed only a few things. Protein drinks (3x per day) mixed with water, broth, clear juices, Gatorade, and water. Not the most palatable diet, but obviously I can live through it. My sort of sick thinking takes me to people who are not as fortunate as I. I think of those who have no running water and would give anything for broth. Third world countries. That's what I'll rely to get me through. Demented. The center that I am going through for this surgery is very helpful. They require each patient to take pre-surgery classes and a post-surgery class. It's been very interesting and enlightening. In each pre-surg class, I could pick out the people that will fail at this. They are the ones complaining about each step of the process and whining about requirements. I wanted to scream at them and tell them that they need to start taking responsibility for what they've become. I know that it's my fault that I'm fat. I know that it's my fault that I've put everyone's needs before mine for the last 15 years. I chose not to make the right decistions. I chose to live to eat rather than eat to live. I am responsible. Now I am going to be held accountable. During one of the pre-surg classes, three different people asked the nurse about caffeine and whether or not they should stop indulging in it. All three times, the nurse was very vague. She stated that, "The surgeon prefers you to be caffeine free right before and right after the surgery." Hmmm. That's not really an answer. I decided not to press for it because I like caffeine. It wards off the demons. I tried to wean myself off of my one can per day Diet Coke habit, but it seems that unless I want a dull, roaring headache on a daily basis, I cannot. So, I won't. I have decided that I will sip my Diet Coke and ration it to the smallest amount possible and still be pain free. I will refrain from any caffeine a few days before surgery. I'm thinking that I will be sick of living on liquids by then and a headache will be a welcome change of focus. I have learned, by reading this forum, that there are a million different pre-op diets and that each surgeon has a preference. I have researched why we are on this pre-op diet and why my surgeon has required it for such a lengthy period of time. I understand all of this, but that doesn't mean I'm happy about it! Because my insurance is paying for this, I have decided that I will just be thankful and comply with most all of the doctor's wishes. My surgeon's office have stated to me that the MANDATORY protein diet should include Bariatric Advantage protein powder and bars. Apparently, they used to sell it right from the office but when I asked the nurse how I would be held accountable for using this specific product, again, she was vague. So, I purchased the bars. They taste like cardboard now, but on day seven they will probably taste like heavan. The powder is icky. So, I'm supplementing with Premier and Muscle Milk. They just taste better. Protein is protein. As long as I'm not loading up on sugar, I will survive. My liver will shrink and my stomach will be removed. The photo is of my support team. My husband, son, and daughter. If I had a photo of all of my friends together, I would include it. I am very lucky to have such wonderful people in my life. My colleagues are rooting for me too. The key person in my success, besides myself, will be my very best girlfriend, Tammi. She has been my bff for over 15 years now. She was sleeved in August 2011. She reached her goal just over her year anniversary and has since had some plastic surgery to tighten up those loose areas. She was always beautiful inside and out to me, but now she actually feels it for herself. I'm so proud of her. She is my encyclopedia of vertical sleeve gastrectomy information. I feel very empowered and knowleadgeable and prepared because of her. Last February (2012) I embarked on my millionth time to start Weight Watchers. I weighed myself one morning and cried. I had never been as heavy...299 pounds. I couldn't let myself go over that 300 mark. My husband hugged me and told me that we could do it together. I thought of Tammi and said to myself that I didn't need WLS. That I could do this. I was seriously ready. I joined a gym and got a trainer. First time for losing weight and excerising at the same time. I loved working out! It was really fun. I was losing weight and, most importantly, losing inches! Seven weeks in, I stopped losing. I injured myself in the gym. This went on for 5 months. I didn't give up. I was stuck. I would lose a pound and gain a pound. Then I injured myself a second time. I gave up. I really don't think that the average trainer understands that a fat person cannot do what a more fit person can do. This isn't The Biggest Loser! In June, our insurance provider changed. I was browsing the list of changes to our policy and coverage when it caught my eye. The new policy actually covered some weight loss surgeries! With bated breath, I read it and reread it. I decided that I was going to swallow my pride, go to my primary care physician, and spill my guts. The day that I went to see my doctor was cathartic. I had never spoken about my weight out loud, in anything besides a self-deprecating manner, to anyone. Ever. I told him everything I've ever done, every pain I have, every fear I have, and cried. He hugged me and told me that he would help. And he did. I had already had a consultation with the bariatric surgeon. He told me I was making the right decision. Now I had to jump through the hoops. So we started jumping together. Now, here I am. My insurance company said YES! I'm so very excited about how my life is going to change. I know this is not going to be easy. The surgery is the tool. It's my brain I worry about. I have to let go of all of the thoughts and habits that I've adopted through the years. I have to start living for me and me first. I have to start eating to live rather than living to eat. The Southern in me is going to have difficulty, but I know that with the support at home and at the surgeon's office...I GOT THIS! Beginning weight on day one of pre-op diet is 289.6 lbs.

Actually, I think this is just an old wives tale! Your sleeve is constructed from the non-stretchiest part of the stomach, with the fundus (the stretchy part) being discarded. Read some of this researches I made about it and few things I found out. Yes, you can gain weight by over eating etc. but even if the pouch stretch it won't be a lot. http://www.provostbariatrics.com/can-you-really-stretch-your-pouch/ This one Is from another forum. And this person had three pregnancy after her surgery. http://m.obesityhelp.com/forums/amos/4145194/It-is-VERY-VERY-VERY-hard-to-stretch-out-your-pouch/ http://www.carolinasurgical.com/life-after-bariatric-surgery/i-am-afraid-of-my-pouch-stretching-after-bariatric-surgery/

Well, I'm open for business. "What business" you ask. “The business of shedding excessive pounds. Let’s see how I do. Over the past couple of years, I have learned about my strengths and weaknesses, and I found that it was hard for me to achieve the necessary balance. In my quest to achieve success, I listened and tuned in to too many self-made experts which had many contradicting opinions. The fact is that each person in their own skin achieves their goals. But I am not in their skin, so I need to find the balance for me. I’ve decided set aside all of their antidotes for now, and get back to the basic. I will just take things slow and pace myself according to my abilities. Which mean I won't get caught up in the hype to get thin; when it all said and done, I just want to feel good about myself. The journey is mine to make, the work is mine to do, and the victory can only be earned by me. I am getting older now, and I don't have the luxury of yo-yoing, stopping, quitting and restarting. This change must be permanent, for life. Not to get small, but to stay healthy and live better. I plan to keep this post up and running, I plan to stay motivated.

I have reached the 10 month mark post surgery at the end of January. I am finally down 60 lbs. My weekly weight loss has been a series of slow losses, never reaching the 1 lb + mark. This has led to a “will I” or “won’t I” get to a 60 lbs loss every time I have stepped on the scale this past month. Now that I have reached my short term goal of 60 lbs I am moving on to the next goal which is to get out of the 180’s (I am currently at 185.6). Since my surgery date I have averaged a loss of about .8 lbs a week (so sloooow). I am continuing to go to Crossfit three times a week. I have now been going for 6 months. I continue to have a love/hate relationship with working out but I am working on that. The routines have a lot of weight lifting so if you thought you couldn’t do any “weight lifting” after the surgery…not true. I joined the gym’s Paleo challenge for the month of February. It isn’t that much different then how I normally eat but I thought the challenge might help me through this slow weight loss period. I’m only on day one today but the biggest challenge has been to drink ½ my weight in water. My clothing sizes haven’t fluctuated much this past month. I am between a 14 and 16 in pants (mostly a 16 with some 14’s) and a L/XL top (again mostly XL). My hair is growing out nicely but I am losing more than I ever did pre-surgery. My hair went from “thick” to “medium” in weight. I am growing out a very short haircut and the fact that I can pull it back in a rather scraggly pony tail is cause for celebration. I eat pretty normally, except for smaller portions and not going back for seconds or thirds. I do try to limit carbs and sugar (the Paleo challenge should help with that). I still eat when I am bored and I have to watch that. I don’t regret my surgery and am glad I did it. I am getting lots of compliments and “how did you do it?” to which I reply “eating South Beach like diet for the most part” – which is true. I really don’t want to put “weight loss surgery” out there and have anyone undermine the effort I have put into loosing the weight. Wish me luck for the next month. Hopefully I will be in the 170’s if all goes well

I arrived at the hospital at around 6:30 Am. I was pretty nervous but the staff just shuffles you along as it is all very routine for them. the surgery itself only lasts about 35 minutes, but I was under for around an hour. - As soon as I woke up they had me get up and walk, I probably did 20 laps around the hospital. I'd read so many horror stories of trapped gas that there is no way I wanted that to happen. - I'm not sure if it was luck, or the walking but thank goodness I did not have to bad of pain from the gas. - (although I did look like I was 6 month pregnant... my stomach was soo swollen. Of course the incision points are sore and especially where the port is. I had HORRIBLE nausea when I woke up, I was terrified I was going to throw up. My pain was about a 3-4. but I could hear the guy next to me in recovery who had also had a band put in said his pain was a 10... so the pain no doubt varies dramatically. The doctor gave me script for some liquid pain killer but it makes me so sick to my stomach I think I'm going to tough it out.. I'd rather feel uncomfortable than throw up and rip my stitches. One odd thing, I keep getting the hiccups. I've read on here that is a sign that you are "full" but I haven't eaten anything so, it is probably my body just trying to adjust. I came home... walked a bit, and then took a nice long nap.... All in all, I really can't complain!

Previously I cut all ties with my publisher for personal reasons. So I decided to submit my manuscript to one of the hardest to get published, publishing companies in the United States. I did this about six weeks ago and figured well they said I would hear something in two weeks. So I gave up. I continue to write everyday because I love to do it and well..... I think I am pretty good at it. So today came the email and I didn't want to open it because I knew it was a rejection email. After all this time it had to be right? WRONG WRONG WRONG! Not only did they accept my manuscript but said this: Congratulations Cheryl! Tate Publishing has accepted your book,"The Prevalence of Love" for publication. This email is to inform you that we would love to move you to the next step in this process and get you a contract to look over. I have been reading through your submission and I am certainly impressed. This is a project that we are really interested in taking on. I just want you to know upfront that I really enjoyed your work and we are excited about this opportunity. Please take some time to read through the material and let me know if you have any questions. It is important that you know what it is about your book that caught our eye and you need to realize that a lot of time and effort goes in to each review of every submission that comes to us. Your book has been chosen on the basis of writing ability, concept and most importantly- marketability. It is with great pleasure that we welcome you as one of the 4% chosen out of tens of thousands each year to become a published author with us. Congratulations![/font] I was moved by your short stories and the encouragement that radiates in your writing. We are very honored to have you come our way and look forward to working with you on this project. [/font] Yes they read every single submission they get and my book was picked! Over the years my writing has improved drastically. I not only just produce books but I write for Yahoo Voices, The Examiner, Angies Diaries and many other websites. With perserverence I have been given an opportunity that most authors never have the chance to get. It is hard to get published and while I have been publshed for quite some time by another publishing company that is being sued by many authors for their lies and deciet, I have broken through to a publisher that is by far hard as hell to get published by. So today I do my happy dance and now you all know what I do instead of thinking of food. I write.[/font] TIME FOR A BIG HAPPY DANCE

I met my wonderful amazing husband 5 years ago and married him 3.5 years ago. He is my biggest fan and support. Once he went to the seminar on WLS he was fully supportive of me having the band. Over the next couple of months I hemed and hawed about would I be, could I be successful on this journey. He kept telling me that ofcourse I would, I just needed to commit to him as I did him. Soooo....... I am in a committed relationship with my band. My band is 100% behind me losing weight. While my band can't prevent me from eating more than I should or eating things that are unhealthy for me; it can help me stay satisfied longer on less, that is if I allow it to. When I think about my band from this perspective- I think about I would never cheat on my husband why would I want to cheat on my band. Ruining my marriage would be painful, but ruining my band and having to have another surgery wouldn't be a walk in the park either. Just like with a marriage you have to work at it, I have to work at my band life. Some days it will be easy and other days it won't, but I don't give up on my marriage just because of one road bump and I won't give up on my band either. Just like I want my marriage to last forever, I want my band life to last to. So with this being said.... ( I am calling my band George) I promise to love, honor, and cherish George forever!! Are you in a committed relationship with your band?

Ok. Before signing off I noticed that I had some comments to my previous posting. A) that's pretty cool, I didn't know you could comment and I'm not sure how to best respond except in another post? If there's something better, please advise. Anyway, many thanks to all of your well wishes - please consider them equally returned :confused3:. I found out more details about my pre-op diet today and while I am allowed non starchy vegetables, the main point is to keep the daily caloric intake between 500-700 per day. That's a big cut for me. Today I've had 4 regular slimfast cans and water. I thought maybe I could drink unlimited slimfast but not so. The diet is called LSD (Liver Shrinking Diet) and is to be low carb, low fat, and low sugar. To the person who asked about tea - unfortunately my answer is no. I'm traditionally a strong black tea drinker but I think the other part of that equation really for me was the sugar. I tried many different artificial sweetners in the tea but it wasn't the same w/o the copious amounts of sugar added. I have some decaf green tea in the cupboard that I'm planning on brewing tomorrow. If it's any good I'll post the brand. Thx for the responses and here's to all of our current and future success!