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I would really hate to think I was being paid a service and the person paying me did not take my knowledge that I went to medical school for 12 years enough that they would have to get help on a website for medical issues. I can not believe that people really refuse to call their doctors after surgery. They are getting paid to take care of you and a pretty penny I might add. Issues regarding pain, swelling, chest pain, can't eat or drink, throwing up, leg pain, what you should be eating are all questions that your surgeon should be answering. They are getting paid 24 hours a day 7 days a week. If you are having chest pain dont post it here, get your butt to the er. If you are vomiting and cant stop, feel dehydrated, cant keep food down, have leg pain or any kind of unnormal pain then call your doctors. I dont know why you all are scared of them. I have my doctors personal cell phone that I can call anytime I am having an issue and he will answer every single time. We are not medical professionals and posting here when you are having chest pain you could have been to the ER or dead by the time you"re done typing it. Stop playing with your lives and your bands. Call your surgeons if you are having these issues. What really are you afraid of? That you're bothering them? Well bother them they make 4 times the amount that most of us make a year for a service. A service they chose to have.

This morning I did my norm morning routine. Got up pottied and got on the scale before dressing (TMI I know, but it is always best to weigh in you birthday suit). The hubs walks in and hugs me and says "geez I can reach my elbows when I wrap my arms around you". Then he said "I'm proud of you babe, but don't get so skinny I have to shake the sheets to find ya". For those who don't know my husband is visually impaired. His vision is 20/800 - legally blind since birth. Granted he is well educated graduated with honors with a degree in computer science and is a well respected software engineer. He just can't see very well. So it's always been the running joke that he feel for me because I was large print (he always replied to that with you said that not me). Now he is joking saying I am getting so small he won't be able to see me anymore. The joking is all in fun- he is very supportive of my weight loss journey and is helping me leaps and bounds. But I must say it would be nice for him to have to shake the sheets to find me

I Corinthians 10:13 ESV 13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it I have seen a common theme in the posts of new banders, and it is "I don't know if I can do this, what if I fail?" This where the I draw solace from the stories of our veterans, successful or not. I know that I am not going into uncharted territory, that someone has been there before me, faced the same issues as I will and they were successful, and if they were successful, I can be as well. It is also one of the reasons that I answer the posts that I do, not because I have all the answers (or really, any of them), but it is just to let people know that they aren't alone, that yes it sucks right now, but there is an end to it and they need to focus on their goal, they too can reach the other side. Oh, and the verse also speaks to the care and control that God exercises in our lives, but that is a topic for a different blog

Well, I'm open for business. "What business" you ask. “The business of shedding excessive pounds. Let’s see how I do. Over the past couple of years, I have learned about my strengths and weaknesses, and I found that it was hard for me to achieve the necessary balance. In my quest to achieve success, I listened and tuned in to too many self-made experts which had many contradicting opinions. The fact is that each person in their own skin achieves their goals. But I am not in their skin, so I need to find the balance for me. I’ve decided set aside all of their antidotes for now, and get back to the basic. I will just take things slow and pace myself according to my abilities. Which mean I won't get caught up in the hype to get thin; when it all said and done, I just want to feel good about myself. The journey is mine to make, the work is mine to do, and the victory can only be earned by me. I am getting older now, and I don't have the luxury of yo-yoing, stopping, quitting and restarting. This change must be permanent, for life. Not to get small, but to stay healthy and live better. I plan to keep this post up and running, I plan to stay motivated.

This is the first day of the rest of my life. Day one of the clear liquids pre-operative diet. I have dreaded this day for some time now. About two weeks ago, my 10-year-old daugher told me, with resignation in her voice, that I should, "Eat what you can, while you can." I wholeheartedly agreed. Every day after that, I thought about what I would love to eat and how much of it I would eat. After a couple of days I realized that I didn't really want anything! I was sick of food and my dysfunctional relationship with it! I couldn't wait for...today. Now it's here. I didn't sleep well last night. I had wicked weird dreams. I think that my stress level is probably through the roof. Thank goodness I am not prone to high blood pressure. I woke this morning with butterflies in my stomach. I'm excited and scared at the same time. I'm afraid that my brain will sabotoge the pre-op requirements. I know I can keep my stomach full. I am allowed only a few things. Protein drinks (3x per day) mixed with water, broth, clear juices, Gatorade, and water. Not the most palatable diet, but obviously I can live through it. My sort of sick thinking takes me to people who are not as fortunate as I. I think of those who have no running water and would give anything for broth. Third world countries. That's what I'll rely to get me through. Demented. The center that I am going through for this surgery is very helpful. They require each patient to take pre-surgery classes and a post-surgery class. It's been very interesting and enlightening. In each pre-surg class, I could pick out the people that will fail at this. They are the ones complaining about each step of the process and whining about requirements. I wanted to scream at them and tell them that they need to start taking responsibility for what they've become. I know that it's my fault that I'm fat. I know that it's my fault that I've put everyone's needs before mine for the last 15 years. I chose not to make the right decistions. I chose to live to eat rather than eat to live. I am responsible. Now I am going to be held accountable. During one of the pre-surg classes, three different people asked the nurse about caffeine and whether or not they should stop indulging in it. All three times, the nurse was very vague. She stated that, "The surgeon prefers you to be caffeine free right before and right after the surgery." Hmmm. That's not really an answer. I decided not to press for it because I like caffeine. It wards off the demons. I tried to wean myself off of my one can per day Diet Coke habit, but it seems that unless I want a dull, roaring headache on a daily basis, I cannot. So, I won't. I have decided that I will sip my Diet Coke and ration it to the smallest amount possible and still be pain free. I will refrain from any caffeine a few days before surgery. I'm thinking that I will be sick of living on liquids by then and a headache will be a welcome change of focus. I have learned, by reading this forum, that there are a million different pre-op diets and that each surgeon has a preference. I have researched why we are on this pre-op diet and why my surgeon has required it for such a lengthy period of time. I understand all of this, but that doesn't mean I'm happy about it! Because my insurance is paying for this, I have decided that I will just be thankful and comply with most all of the doctor's wishes. My surgeon's office have stated to me that the MANDATORY protein diet should include Bariatric Advantage protein powder and bars. Apparently, they used to sell it right from the office but when I asked the nurse how I would be held accountable for using this specific product, again, she was vague. So, I purchased the bars. They taste like cardboard now, but on day seven they will probably taste like heavan. The powder is icky. So, I'm supplementing with Premier and Muscle Milk. They just taste better. Protein is protein. As long as I'm not loading up on sugar, I will survive. My liver will shrink and my stomach will be removed. The photo is of my support team. My husband, son, and daughter. If I had a photo of all of my friends together, I would include it. I am very lucky to have such wonderful people in my life. My colleagues are rooting for me too. The key person in my success, besides myself, will be my very best girlfriend, Tammi. She has been my bff for over 15 years now. She was sleeved in August 2011. She reached her goal just over her year anniversary and has since had some plastic surgery to tighten up those loose areas. She was always beautiful inside and out to me, but now she actually feels it for herself. I'm so proud of her. She is my encyclopedia of vertical sleeve gastrectomy information. I feel very empowered and knowleadgeable and prepared because of her. Last February (2012) I embarked on my millionth time to start Weight Watchers. I weighed myself one morning and cried. I had never been as heavy...299 pounds. I couldn't let myself go over that 300 mark. My husband hugged me and told me that we could do it together. I thought of Tammi and said to myself that I didn't need WLS. That I could do this. I was seriously ready. I joined a gym and got a trainer. First time for losing weight and excerising at the same time. I loved working out! It was really fun. I was losing weight and, most importantly, losing inches! Seven weeks in, I stopped losing. I injured myself in the gym. This went on for 5 months. I didn't give up. I was stuck. I would lose a pound and gain a pound. Then I injured myself a second time. I gave up. I really don't think that the average trainer understands that a fat person cannot do what a more fit person can do. This isn't The Biggest Loser! In June, our insurance provider changed. I was browsing the list of changes to our policy and coverage when it caught my eye. The new policy actually covered some weight loss surgeries! With bated breath, I read it and reread it. I decided that I was going to swallow my pride, go to my primary care physician, and spill my guts. The day that I went to see my doctor was cathartic. I had never spoken about my weight out loud, in anything besides a self-deprecating manner, to anyone. Ever. I told him everything I've ever done, every pain I have, every fear I have, and cried. He hugged me and told me that he would help. And he did. I had already had a consultation with the bariatric surgeon. He told me I was making the right decision. Now I had to jump through the hoops. So we started jumping together. Now, here I am. My insurance company said YES! I'm so very excited about how my life is going to change. I know this is not going to be easy. The surgery is the tool. It's my brain I worry about. I have to let go of all of the thoughts and habits that I've adopted through the years. I have to start living for me and me first. I have to start eating to live rather than living to eat. The Southern in me is going to have difficulty, but I know that with the support at home and at the surgeon's office...I GOT THIS! Beginning weight on day one of pre-op diet is 289.6 lbs.

I have reached the 10 month mark post surgery at the end of January. I am finally down 60 lbs. My weekly weight loss has been a series of slow losses, never reaching the 1 lb + mark. This has led to a “will I” or “won’t I” get to a 60 lbs loss every time I have stepped on the scale this past month. Now that I have reached my short term goal of 60 lbs I am moving on to the next goal which is to get out of the 180’s (I am currently at 185.6). Since my surgery date I have averaged a loss of about .8 lbs a week (so sloooow). I am continuing to go to Crossfit three times a week. I have now been going for 6 months. I continue to have a love/hate relationship with working out but I am working on that. The routines have a lot of weight lifting so if you thought you couldn’t do any “weight lifting” after the surgery…not true. I joined the gym’s Paleo challenge for the month of February. It isn’t that much different then how I normally eat but I thought the challenge might help me through this slow weight loss period. I’m only on day one today but the biggest challenge has been to drink ½ my weight in water. My clothing sizes haven’t fluctuated much this past month. I am between a 14 and 16 in pants (mostly a 16 with some 14’s) and a L/XL top (again mostly XL). My hair is growing out nicely but I am losing more than I ever did pre-surgery. My hair went from “thick” to “medium” in weight. I am growing out a very short haircut and the fact that I can pull it back in a rather scraggly pony tail is cause for celebration. I eat pretty normally, except for smaller portions and not going back for seconds or thirds. I do try to limit carbs and sugar (the Paleo challenge should help with that). I still eat when I am bored and I have to watch that. I don’t regret my surgery and am glad I did it. I am getting lots of compliments and “how did you do it?” to which I reply “eating South Beach like diet for the most part” – which is true. I really don’t want to put “weight loss surgery” out there and have anyone undermine the effort I have put into loosing the weight. Wish me luck for the next month. Hopefully I will be in the 170’s if all goes well

so i was banded December 19th i am now a month and some days post op and decided today i was going to look through pictures and this is the one i saw ( one on left ) i sat there and cried for a while, i couldn't believe i looked like that.. Ive only lost 30 pounds so far and still have a long way to go ( my goal is to loose 100) . i know as i loose more of the weight and continue to look back at pictures i will have a lot of these moments but i really couldn't believe it i was so upset but happy that i made the decision to get the lap band. i feel so good everyday now and after my crying stopped i new i will never ever go back to that and it just gives me even more of a push to work hard at my weight loss. just thought i had to share this . PICTURE LEFT : Summer- highest weight- 272 RIGHT : Now- weight- 246

SIX WEEKS ALREADY! HW: 273 SW: 250 LW- 233.6 CW: 232.6 About 40lbs down from my highest weight, about 18lbs down since day of surgery. Hoping I get somewhere near 230 by my 8 week update.... Not gonna talk about how annoyed I am by how slow this is going. Non Scale Victories- As you all know I hit my goal of 20 miles of walking in January. I am going to leave the goal the same for February and add a few days of Turbo Fire, the Fire 30 work out. It’s pretty fun and burns a lot of calories. I have also been getting LOTS of comments on my apparent weight loss, so that feels good. I was thinking about going to pick up a couple of pairs of pants this weekend but……….I think I have talked myself out of it. I don’t know, I just feel like if I went, I would be disappointed and I just can’t really take that right now. My mom suggested I go TO the store and try them on and I said, why so I can have a proper breakdown in public in the changing room? NAWL. So we’ll see. I might and I might not, depending on how small I feel when I get up and get going tomorrow.

Two months ago my doctor said as far as they were concerned I was at goal, 175 lbs. I was happy with that and started onto the maintenance stage of my journey. Last month I gained 2 lbs, first time I had a gain but hey holidays. Doctor’s office was still very pleased and said that my weight will vary like that on maintenance. Then a dear friend here on LBT put out a challenge “100 miles in January”. Walk or run 100 miles during the month of January. I was in! I needed something to get me moving more. I reached the 100 miles on Monday; my total should be around 120 miles for the month. (go me!) Today I went back to the doctor, weighed 171! (lost 6 pounds in 4 weeks) I haven’t seen that much loss since the beginning months of this journey. So, what did I do different? My eating was the same as it has always been 1200 calories a day, etc…. The only thing different is the increased walking for the challenge. I am so happy with myself. I couldn’t ask for anything more. Okay, maybe a tummy tuck and….. Well guess I could ask for more. I love & respect my band. Yellow rose you serve me well, thank you!

Well it's been an odd week for me. The hubs Big 40 was last week. We had a party for him last Sunday night. Instead of B-day cake he wanted his fave cheesecake and I made brownies to. Most of the left overs I sent home with friends. Kept a couple and we had those the first of the week. Mid-week my PMS mode hit, which means grumpy and craving. Since being banded I haven't really had any horrible cravings for sweets, I've wanted them, but not to the point I have this week. I am guessing this is a case of your mind gets a little and it wants more of that drug. On Friday of this week NC got hit with an ice storm - nothing horrible, but enough to send us home from work and keep us in until afternoon on Saturday. Friday my hubs wanted pizza. Well this hasn't been an issue for me before, but.... I ordered a large since I could get it for free, just figured we would eat on it for a couple of days (WRONG). For lunch I was starved and ate 2 slices of my veggie side and felt way to full (I know this wasn't good for my band and I shouldn't have, but I can't change what was only what is to come), at dinner I wasn't really hungry, but at another piece anyway and felt even worse. By bedtime I felt like crap. My tummy hurt and I felt bloated. Lesson learned.... I am feeling like I am reverting back to my old ways and that scares me worse than anything. My band is there to help me, but if I refuse to listen to it, it can't and won't help. I know that I must get back on track and get myself back on the plan and biggest thing listen to my band. As my mom said when I was little there is a big difference in hearing and listening. I hear my band tell me no I don't want that, but I ignored it this weekend. Today after returning home from my Dad's 65th b-day party I found myself standing in my kitchen looking around for something to eat, yet I wasn't hungry. My feeling down and out today doesn't help eating issues, but at least I am realizing what triggers I have and trying to change which I have not done in the past. While at Dad's party, sitting with my niece who is a cute perky 17 year old size 0, I watched what and how she ate. She ate really slow. She got up to toss her plate and still had half of her cake and some ice cream on it- she said she was full. I guess that is why she is a size 0. She opts to stop when she is full no matter how much is left on her plate. This is something I can learn from her. Like I have often said this journey isn't the easy every day, but it is a journey worth making. For those of you support and encourage me thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know I am going to fall from time to time on my journey and it helps having the awesome people on this site to help me stand back up and keep moving forward.