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To thinking about lap band. I wish I could occupy my mind with something else, but for the most part I'm hooked. When working, whn Ivey out of breath, I just think about being banded. Everything banded.... All the time. I need a distraction.

I was banded on 1/7/13 and one of the things that my instructions talked about was that during the "Healing Phase" of my eating, many patients stop losing or actually gain weight. With this in mind I have been very careful to log all my food and count calories Even thought my NUT said that calorie counting wasn't necessary, she told me to shoot for between 1300 - 1500. So, this morning I was able to go back to one of my pre-band rituals of Saturday morning breakfast with a friend, but I was scared because I was flying solo, no scale, no measuring cups, just me and "Mistress Band". So, the result? I ordered two eggs and hash browns, I pre-cut all my food to the proper size, and tried to focus on the conversation and my eating. Pretty soon I hit a soft stop (hiccup) and then each bite I started asking myself why I was taking that bite. When the answer because "Because it tastes so good" I put my fork down and moved the plate out of reach. At that point, I was satisfied, not full, but satisfied and it looking at my plate, I realized that I had eaten about the same as I would have if I had pre-measured it. Maybe one day, I will be able to move rely totally on listening to my body and my band, but until then, I will log and count.

So a banded friend tells me..."I can eat 3 cups of salad before I'm full". Ummmm, yea? My response "doesnt mean you should eat 3 cups". Her response was that we are supposed to eat until your full. No, that is such a false statement. You still need portion control. If I am still hungry after eating, I wait the 30 minutes after eating then I start drinking my liquids. If you are not getting your liquids in every day, your full spot will trick you into wanting more food. I'm sorry, but I just don't think there's a lot of truthfulness about why the band isn't working for some people. I can sit and eat chocolate pudding and candybars and a bunch of other crap, then post my menu and say I'm eating a well balanced diet....that doesn't do me any good. I GAINED 2 POUNDS IN 6 WEEKS BECAUSE I WAS NOT EXCERCISING OR EATING PROPERLY. I was sooo proud of my 31 lb loss that I got cocky and thought I needed to reward myself with foods and treats that didn't comply with my instructions. I screwed up, not the band. Well, since my fill last Friday I am down those 2 lbs plus 1. I contribute that to following instructions. The first and most important process to this journey is being honest with yourself, if you mess up, recognize it accept the consequences (possible weightgain), fix it and move forward. I have only been banded for 6 months, I don't want or expect to lose all my weight in the first year. I don't want to...I want it to come off slow and steady. Does the band work for everyone? No, some have true medical complications, some are just not using it correctly. Some are relying on the band to work for them instead of using the band as the tool it was meant to be. If you follow instructions to the letter, excercise 2-3 times per week, be patient with the weightloss process....the weight will eventually come off. Maybe not as fast as others, or in the first year. It wasn't meant to be a quick fix. Frustration is just an emotion, don't let it consume you or drive you. You have to take the wheel on this journey. So many say if I had the will power I wouldn't have had the surgery...it's not about will power. It's about following instructions. My will power sucked before the band, but I would have never of gotten the band if I wasn't ready to put those feelings aside and just do the work. Got a sweet tooth, then find a recipe for a desert you can have. Be prepared. Have the need for some comfort food, MAKE IT!! But use lower fat and carb options. Its all out there. Yes, some things are a little more expensive, but you won' be eating as much so it will last longer. This is solely my entitled opinon...and I am sure that some will agree, some will disagree and others will feel the need to "set the record straight". That's fine. Just make sure you are honest with yourself before commenting. Anyway...that's my rant. Breakfast: Mocha protein shake Lunch: LC/LF chicken enchilada Dinner: White bean chili Chai tea water with MIO Multivitamin 1 Cor. 15:33 My bible verse for today.

Wow, it's been a long time since I have been here. Post sleeve life has been good. Ups and downs and unforeseen events but the majority of it I would not trade if I could. Weight is still an important part of my life but it does not hold the control over me that it did while I was obese or even that it did for the first 18 months post op. I was fanatical about doing everything right in order to shed the weight as quickly as I could. It worked by following the recommendations of my surgical center professionals. I have since realized I can not live the rest of my life so regimented and constrained. That does not however mean that those things that were recommended and I proved worked will be abandoned. It is really about using those tools I learned, in addition to my surgical tool, to manage my weight for the rest of my life. My weight is under my control I am not under it's control. I started my journey on Nov 23, 2010 at 492lbs. One year post op (Jan. 10, 2012) I was 200. Today nearly 2 years post op. (Jan 7, 2013) I set here at 196. This is about 6 lbs heavier than I want to be. I had gotten to a low weight of 177 around September 2012. I was still 4lbs away from "ïdeal" weight but my body fat was under 9% and I felt like crap. For once in my life I made a conscientious decision to be heavier. That concept is still surreal to me even as I type this. I found that I felt the best and looked the best in a range between 185 and 195. I am using a target of 190 as my new life goal. Now is where I get to make myself feel better and preface that this is all weight before any removal of loose skin so in all reality my "real" body does weight less. My best guess based on others I have seen that have had removal is that I have at least 25lbs of skin that could go. Will I ever be able to get the skin removed so that I can actually see what my "real"body looks like? Who knows, I doubt it. And yes there is a bunch of extra skin. I like to make jokes about it, after-all who doesn't want a butt that looks like a Shar-Pei? The reality though is that it sucks. I have bags and folds that are a constant reminder of the size this container used to be. I can dress it well but in my birthday suit it is not a pleasant sight. Uhhhhggggg! Is the extra skin burdensome enough to regret the decision to have surgery, nope, never. The surgery is still the best decision I have ever made. One statement of advice to those looking to go through this that have significant others (in the pre-politically correct days I would have said spouses). Be very aware of what THEY are going through as you are on your journey. This affects them too and often in a blindsiding way. Even the most supportive and enthusiastic partner can get lost in the waves of attention that a successful WLS patient will be seeing. And trust me, when they get swept under and begin to feel like WLS has unexpectedly become their whole life too.....the results are not good. I hope you all are doing well and I will be back more often. I had forgotten how good it feels to simply put into text what is swimming around in my mind. Take care Ya'll!

I have been going through this process for a very long time. After being denied by my insurance company, I was finally banded Thursday and I'm actually feeling pretty good. I have been walking taking in my liquids and meds and the pain has been very manageable surprisingly!! I'm excited, now I have to continue to learn and work hard!!

So I am currently on the mushy stage of my diet. Basically I can eat whatever I can mush up or thick liquids. If it can be pureed or mushied it can be eaten right now. I have a rather large combined family and one of my biggest fears is it would be really hard not to want to eat the things the kids can have but I cannot. So subtly, over the last few grocery trips I have been making small changes that add up. I bought spaghetti sauce with less sugar in it. I bought turkey meatballs and I changed their pasta to whole wheat. (I dont eat the pasta and probably never will again). So when I made dinner.. The kids never said a word about the new taste of the meal. They loved it! They never knew the difference in the meatballs because I never said anything like "Hey this is really different.. try it". I just cooked like normal but with better ingredients. The family had their pasta dinner and I had two mushed up tiny meatballs and a little bit of sauce. Family dinner was a success. Then last night's dinner was Mexican food night. Now.. I LOVE Mexican food. There is a little hole in the wall place here in the town I live in that I visited at least 4 times a week pre surgery. Yeah.. I admit it.. its my favorite and a weakness. I made the taco meat with ground turkey and just seasoned it like normal. The seasoning turned it the orange color and gave it the same flavor. The kids never knew the difference. Used lower fat cheese and for the fajitas we did grilled chicken. I had fat free refried beans with a little salsa on top. Lunch today was tomato soup with skim milk. They love tomato soup so that was never a fear. I was so scared I would want to eat junk food. In all reality I am improving the health of my kids and they don't even know the difference. I am not making a huge deal out of EVERYTHING HAS TO CHANGE!!! If I do that.. they will shut down and not want anything new. I bought this HUGE box of sugar free popsicles and the kids love them for treats. I wanted to write this blog to let other people know if you are worried about how the kids will react to the diet changes, just change it. Just make stuff and set it on the table. The rule in my house is if you are hungry enough you will eat. Try to make small little changes to favorites that make them healthier without changing everything they love. Another thing we have always done is there is never ever tv on during dinner. It is our time as a family to talk about the day. I think this kind of distracts them a little bit. It is so important for me to keep that time as a special family time. Where food was always the center of family get togethers, I think it in some ways still can be. We just have to make healthier decisions. So far even right down to the 6 year old, I have gotten great support from my kiddos. I am so happy my major change can also be a healthy change for them without negatively impacting them. The last thing I want is to find any of my daughters obsessing over a scale before school. I want this to be an easy transition for everyone. While I am still learning what I can eat, I am having fun experimenting and looking at new things to cook for everyone. I am sure I can come up with healthy treats and things kids love without gaining weight back. I am just going to have to make the effort and be excited and say things like Oh my gosh you guys.. this is so yummy. If I have something yummy, most of the time they want to try it. I still have my days where the smell of bacon wants me to know over my grandma for a plate of food.. but I think this journey is going to be a lot less hard than I thought as long as I just do it. My imagination is so much worse than reality. Don't pysche yourself out. You got this.

I just put the 'MyFitnessPal' app in my phone and am looking for friends. I've tracked my weight since the beginning but never really used it. I want to give it a shot with friends, allowing me to praise others and receive motivation along the way. I'm learning the app so below is my info. Please add me!! Name: SpartanMello09 Greatly appreciate it- THANKS!!!! -Melissa

I thought it would be a good idea to have a record of my journey, and what better place than here? I was sleeved exactly 1 week ago today by Dr. Alvarez. He was great! I felt pretty good right after surgery and even the next day until about 1:00. The rest of that day and all of the following day I felt terrible. I have to admit, at that point I didn't care about my weight and wondered what I had done to myself. I didn't think I was the type to regret the surgery, but I was wrong. Beginning day 3 post op, I had turned a corner and really started feeling pretty good! Of course I couldn't resist the scale and thanks to this site, I laughed and wasn't disappointed when the scale showed no loss. The scale did finally start moving on 1/23 and today, 1 week out, I am down 8 lbs! So exciting! One thing that is different about my recovery compared to most is that I am having no problem with fluids. I can drink normally, and actually have to remind myself to slow down when I'm drinking. Today I have gotten about 50 oz. of fluids and 63g of protein. I have never blogged before, so hopefully I'll get the hang of this. Highest weight 205 Dos weight 179 Week 1: 171 (-8)

Practicing my positive attitude! Week 5 Update HW: 273 SW: 250 LW: 232.8 CW: 233.8 (+1) Up one this week due to f**k ass trick ass mark ass Moms Nature. She should be showing up sometime this next week, taking this pound and some others with her so yes. NSV’s— all my buttons button. HUZZAH! I am getting lots of compliments at work because the loss is obvious now. They say they see it in my face and my thinning profile. Yay, that’s nice to hear. I’ve walked 7 of the 10 mile goal I set on the 15th. I plan to overshoot that so I should be close to 20 miles in January. FUN! I think I am going to push myself to walk two miles a day… the ONE mile thing doesn't even get me breathing hard unless I kind of jog it.

On Wednesday I had my 1 year post op visit with the PA (Todd), Dietician (Kristen) and Behaviorist (Scott). I am still sitting here in shock that it has been a year already. I find myself lost in what I can only describe as a surreal state. My physical life is so different today than it was a year ago. I feel better in ways that I never could have imagined. I had a conversation with Todd today about needing to be aware of getting ill (extended flu as an example) because at my current body fat %, I could run a real risk, with such an extended illness, of my body fat get too LOW….TOO LOW….are you kidding me? Does Todd not realize he’s talking to a lifelong super morbidly obese person? How can I even conceive of my body fat getting too low? Surely he is talking about someone else; he cannot be talking about ME. Wow! I guess my life has changed. The meetings with both Scott and Kristen were nice reminders of what I need to focus on and continue to focus on as this journey continues. The first reality is that it will be continuing. I may be at a much lower weight than I was at the beginning, but this is nowhere near the end of the process. I will need to continue to be deliberate and diligent in order to be successful long term. This is a life journey and I can only strive more towards conquering those demons that are still there and need to be actively battled. Complacency and disregard for what I have been taught will only allow those demons to reappear. I feel so fortunate for the things I have learned and the people I have gotten to know over this year. Jan. 10, 2011 (Surgery Day) / Jan. 4, 2012 (1 Year post op checkup) Weight: 456 / 200 BMI: 65.4 / 28.7 Body Fat %: Approx. 44 / 12.9 Health Required Meds: 3 / 0 Neck Measurement: 24” / 15 ½” Chest Measurement: 70” / 44” Waist Measurement: 72” / 40” Hip Measurement: 51” / 40”