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Made a delicious smoothie tonight for a snack, and I didn't use any protein powder (GAG) It tastes like a buckeye! HAHA for those of you who dont know what that is, it's like a reeses cup only shaped like a buckeye nut. Makes two 2/3 cup servings: 1/2 cup plain greek yogurt (I use trader joe's brand b/c it has the lowest sugar content that ive seen) 1/2 cup skim milk 1/3 cup sugar free chocolate pudding (made ahead of time with skim milk) 1 TBSP of PB2 (PB2 is a peanut butter powder sold in the organic or health food aisle, it's awesome!!!) Each 2/3 cup serving has 10.5 g of protein!

This has been one hell of a ride. I've been both excited and depressed just the same. I am here to tell you weeks 2 and 3 are literally the hardest. At this point your tired of liquids, see a few stalls, and have all these thoughts that maybe, just maybe, this surgery isn't gonna work for you. And I'm telling you, I have felt all these things. On the plus side I did weigh in this morning and hit my one month post op goal 10days early!!! Yay for me!... Here are my stats: Starting weight: 256lbs Day of Surgery: 247lbs Day I left from Hospital: 258lbs 3 weeks post op: 230.2lbs I honestly didn't plan on seeing that weight until one month post op.. But 26 pounds down in the first 3 weeks with a stall in between.. I won't complain. Hope everyone is doing well as they recover, and for those considering the surgery: do your research! Know what to expect, and come to a point in your journey where you are ready for the rollercoaster because it is one hell of a ride!!!!! Tia

Thought I'd post it here for any preops ( or anyone who wants to reminisce about Eagle Pass TX or Piedras Negras Mexico. Here it is!

I can’t exercise at work. I can park in a parking structure that is a block from my building I can give the elevators the day off and climb the stairs (my office building has 11 floors, my office is on the 8th floor) I can go to the bathroom on the 11th floor instead of my floor (& take the stairs, of course) I can take a break & go for a walk (it’s amazing how refreshing it is to get away from my desk for 10 minutes) I can’t drink that much water in a day. I can add lemon/lime wedges or crystal light mixes to the water for variety. I can carry a bottle of water with me everywhere I go. I can take a drink of water every 5 minutes. I can’t stop snacking. I can stock my pantry with healthy snacks I can pre-portion my health snacks. I can drink 8 ozs of water before having the snack I think I want. I can go for a walk instead of having the snack I think I want. As long as “I can” I will maintain my weight and I know I CAN!

Tonight hubby and I attended the mandatory seminar. I'm finally going to go through with this. My meeting with the surgeon is January 23rd. Now to figure out what I can do about insurance. I have BC/BS Maryland and they want me BMI to be 50. I'm at 45 so I'm hoping to switch. Maybe pick up a second insurance or switch when we have open enrollment at work! We'll see

I went to my primary Dr today because I'd been feeling light headed lately. I hadn't seen him since before my surgery last August. I walked toward the private waiting room, and his nurse says to me, "Wow, you look great. I almost didn't even recognize you!" I thought to myself, are you talking to me? Yea, you ARE talking to ME!!! YIPEE YAHOOOO!!! She proceeded to weigh me & I'm down "49" pounds!!!! The Dr. walked in, smiled & said "you look great!" All I could do was nod & smile!! This Dr. has known me for about 8+ years, so he knows my crazy yo-yo weight history (up,down, up, down, up, up). And, aren't we all familiar with that concept? He also knows the depression I spiraled into as a result of my being over-weight. I didn't want to go out, or even be seen in public, not even by my own brother & his family! I digress. The point is that it felt good (damn good) to hear compliments about my progress so far. I swear I felt myself getting taller as we spoke about my lap band journey. Heck, I'm actually even starting to like the way I look now that I bought a few new outfits. My closets are much emptier now, but I'm OK with that. I know I'll be in this size for several months because I don't go down in size until I lose 20-25 pds. I still need to lose another 40 pds or so, but it's all good! I'm already feeling more confident about myself & that's whats important.

Hi, everyone I'm new to this but, would like to get everyone advice and stories about these kind of stuff. I got my first Doctors appointment tomorrow.

With less than 24 hours away from the big surgery, I find myself enthralled in all sorts of emotions. One moment I'm excited. The next I'm a little worried. The next I'm axious to get this over with.. And the next I'm flat out afraid. I've been up since 3am this morning. I just can't sleep.My mind is moving just too fast. I've been going back and forth to some major events in my life and trying to figure out what led me here.. Then 2 events pop in mind.. One when I was about 19 and was having an argument with one of my ex boyfriend's friends. He made a pass at me and I told my boyfriend at the time who addressed him about it. He was so upset with me he yelled "that's why your're a cheeseburger away from obese". I was soooo offended, like could he really have said that to me.. But then again, he was right. I had no come back. Then lastly I remember having an argument with an ex friend of mine at about 21 and boy was it a bad one. Not wanting to be defeated like I had in the previous argument, I was guns loaded. In a tit for tat I blurted out "that's why your ugly and you look like a gorilla". Not one of my proudest moments I'll admit. Very childish.. She responds "that's why your fat". Ouch! Another dagger to the heart about my weight. I replied "well I can fix my problem. But you sure can't fix ugly. All the surgery in the world won't help that face!"... Feeling like I had won that argument, my ego said otherwise and I was deeply saddened. What these two events made me realize is that the person I saw, was what the rest of the world was beginning to see. Someone who was moving fast towards a serious weight problem. My grandmother passed away on December 26, 2003 in her sleep for no apparent reason. She cooked Christmas dinner, played games with us all.. then never woke back up. The doctor's ruled it as congestive heart failure because it was the last pre-existing condition she had. But what I failed to mention was that she was just over 500 pounds and battled with sleep apnea. She use to snore really bad. When I would spend the night with her, the only way I knew she was breathing was when I heard that snoring.. But sometimes there would be long pauses in those snores and she'd begin gasping for breath. The morning of her death I arose to greet her good morning and while combing my hair in her vanity right next to her bed... I noticed, she hadn't been snoring. Then I looked at her arm and it was just hanging off the bed. I knew she had stopped breathing. I honestly believe she suffocated in her sleep and had she been 200-300 pounds lighter, I'd still have her to this very day. She died at only 52. Obesity is a genetic disadvantage in my family and I finally have an opportunity to overcome that. To live life the way it's supposed to be lived. This is something I can't pass on doing. I've prayed to God without ceasing about what I can do to get this weight off and in I stumble across a procedure I didn't even know existed. Literally walked in the clinic to inquire about a lap band and will be walking out tomorrow with a sleeve. God carved a perfectly laid path for me tomorrow. I had no hickups along the way, and have paid nothing out of pocket. Because I have really good health insurance, whatever they cover is all my surgeon says he will be receiving. It can't get any better than that. Aside for paying co pay on my perscriptions, I consider this a free procedure to help me get my life back. This is a gift from God! I am a living witness that if you remain in him and his words remain in you, you can ask for whatever you wish and it will be given unto you (John 15:7). I didn't know how he was gonna do it I just had faith and he did it! I cry as I write this moment because I will never see life through the same set of eyes again. My limits to a happy fulfilled life have just become endless. These are my tears... OF JOY!

Alright so I've been MIA for a while but decided its time to come back and see how everyone is doing. So quick update...I had surgery on 8/17/12 and as of today I am down 66lbs I am feeling awesome and still working on losing about 85-90 more lbs. I am able to eat more than what I was 1-2 months post op but its still a small portion. I am able to eat almost everything but again smaller portions. I have become concerned about this because I don't want to over do it although I do stop as soon as I feel full. Any of you able to eat normal foods(pizza, bread, pasta, etc) but just smaller portions. Also, I have not worked out whatsoever because I go to work AND school full time. Luckily, I am done with school the end of Feb so my main focus after that will be working out. I've attached a before and current picture of myself

Things are getting to crunch time and I have some major issues that have definitely been relived. First and foremost, I was afraid to have a drainage tube and catheter. I was able to ask my surgeon about this directly and he assured me I won't have either. He went on to explain that usually the tubes are for patients with much higher BMIs for safety reasons. Thank goodness. I am now at the home stretch. I know I am going to be kicking screaming on my way in there but dammit I'm going in there in less than 48 hours and I'm coming out a new woman. Pray for me everyone!