Leaderboard

Well, it's the end of another year and to be honest, I still have to remind myself to write 2012 on my checks (when I actually have to use one). Therefore, writing 2013 is going to be a huge pain in the rear for me. Now, I am not one to make resolutions. To be honest, i don't think I've ever kept one I've made so I finally realized that there was no reason to make any. If someone wants to change, they will...it won't just magically happen becasue it's January 1st. Trust me, I wish that was a case. If it was, we wouldn't all be constantly working to get/remain healthy and thin. Also, there would be a lot of surgeons out there who wouldn't be as wealthy as they are right now...thanks to us. You are welcome surgeons...from all of us. Sorry, i digress. Now, I thought I wold take the time to look back on my year and share my wisdom with you all....or at least what I think is wisdom. It could be a big ole pile of steaming crap, but I'm going to share it anyway. Lucky for you all, if it is crap, you don't have to smell it since you're reading it. So, here is what I've learned...or at least began to learn in 2012. 1. It's true, you do feel much better when you stop smoking. But, it's also true that even after a year, there are times you still want one....even if it's only for a second or two 2. Weight loss surgery is NOT an easy fix. It's hard work and I battle every day with changing my negative food thoughts and behaviors. But, it does get easier. 3. Getting frustrated becasue you can't eat what others are having is normal. Crying and yelling at your husband for eating pizza in front of you is PMS. 4. Fiber is CRITICAL after WLS 5. Stalls are normal...even if they last for a while 6. Getting down for being in a stall is just as normal....but remember number 5! 7. My weight loss is not like anyone else's. There are people who have lost more or not as much in the same amount of time. 8. Going from a tight size 26-28 to a good fitting 16 feels better than any food can taste 9. Taste buds change....which can be good and bad. 10. Pulling out my clothes from the dryer and having to double check to make sure they are mine due to how small they look is the coolest thing about doing laundry 11. Sex is better....and it was really good before hand 12. Raging hormones can make you a b***h to live with so make sure you live with someone who truly loves you.....I'm lucky because I would have divorced me if I were my husband 13. Make up sex while having raging hormones is even better than better 14. My boobs hang low....(cue my "hang low song"....for all those who have read my prior blogs) 15. I miss my boobs...and my butt. 16. Surgery can give me my boobs back and I'll still be thin....sounds better than having perky, big boobs right now. 17. Onions don't sit well with me anymore 18. I fart....a lot since surgery. 19. I really hope that stops soon....but not as much as my husband does 20. I have a rabbit living in my colon....and we've learned to live together 21. Pain after surgery isn't as bad as I thought it would be...and they didn't give me the right meds to deal with the pain 22. Walking is the best thing to do to get gas out 23. I am not perfect and sometimes I eat things that I shouldn't...but I don't eat much 24. Alcohol has a WHOLE different affect on me now.....that can be good or bad...good for me, bad for hubby who doesn't like me tipsy. LOL and last but not least 25. Laughing through all the ups and downs is the only thing that can keep you sane So, with all these little tid bits learned, I plan to go into the new year with an open mind and a willingness to continue to make positive changes, the knowledge to know I'm not perfect, and strength to say no to the bad food (most of the time). I hope you all are able to do the same. Happy New Year everyone.....here's to a safe, happy, and healthy year ahead. Now for some funny stuff.....LOL Have to remember to eat so that I don't look like this in the New Year!!! Have to remember not to eat too much so this doesn't happen....again....LOL Most importantly, I have to remember to be happy with who I am...on the inside and out.

Anyone thats ever had a traumatic event in their life can relate to what I'm about to say. I spent a lot of time in the counselors office talking about forgiveness. Forgiving your abuser and those who supported the abuse, either by denial or by complacency is more about healing you than giving that other person anything. I never once in this whole process ever thought about forgiving myself. I was watching a recent episode of Heavy and one of the counseling sessions was about forgiving yourself. There is so much guilt associated in childhood trauma, at least there was for me. I can honestly say that I have forgiven those involved, but I have never forgiven myself. Part of this journey for me is to work through the reasons I turn to food for comfort. Part of my realization is that I have not forgiven myself; I did not allow myself to break free from my abuse because of the guilt. I feel responsible for what happened, because I didn't speak up, I didn't tell anyone, I didn't make it stop. Why didn't I? Logic sets in and tells me it was because I was only 2,3,4,5,6,7 years old but my memories are processed through my mind, an adult's mind. I am mature enough to know it is wrong..now! But then? I remember saying " this is wrong" and him saying " why?" and I couldn't answer him because I didn't know. How could I not have known? These are the things I am working through...it's not a sob story, so don't feel bad for me. It's just my reality, one that I've lived with my whole life. I'm working through it now. I have no choice because I can't consume large amounts of food anymore to avoid working through them ( thank god!) I'm just telling myself every day that I have the right to what everyone else has and that.... It was not my fault! It was not my fault! It was not my fault!

I am only a little over a week past my surgery..however the incision on my ride side is very sore. I also feel a bump under it. Is this where the port is located?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

love dogs and love you 2

Here's a virtual high five! I cleaned out my closet and dropped off a lot at Goodwill recently too and it was fun . I loved trying all of the clothes on the closet floor (always throw them there when they did not fit) and they all fit and most were too large, woohoo!

Thanks for sharing this Cheryl...wow who cant relate to the monday morning diets.....~hugs~

No, you are not nuts. Don't discount your feelings and you are indeed breaking up with food, but trust me, you will learn that food is NOT your best friend. It is your crutch maybe, but certainly not your best friend. It's what got you to this point, it's what got all of us to this point.. friends don't do that. It's like the old friends don't let friends drive drunk.. LOL (well, I tried! ) Let your husband be supportive as he knows how, you will find if he's supportive now, he will probably be even more so afterwards. Mourn food, it's ok to do that and start a new kind of relationship with it... Accept his support the way he is offering it, it sounds like he's trying. He probably doesn't know exactly what you are going through, how could he? He's not in your shoes..My husband has always been thin too and never struggled with is weight... BUT he saw me struggle, he saw me cry, he saw me hate myself and go up and down for years.... he shared that pain with me and he was there to hold me and remind me that he loves me for me too during those times. That was support! I was sleved 11/15 and I was very scared, but I'm doing great and I am glad I did it. Hopefully you will too. Feel free to reach out anytime for support, there is a lot of support here that was given to me and I'm happy to give it to you as well! Hang in there!! You are not alone, we are all in this together and understand!

Try to mix miralax in your protein shakes to make you go, at least every other day until you are more regular. Also stay away from carbonated drinks! your cravings will go away give yourself about a month! Good luck!