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I have been having difficulties with my eating for about a week, I blogged about my lunch episode on Friday. When I say difficulties I mean, I’ve been getting acid reflex (first time since being banded) and I get a lump in my throat from time to time. I have been able to eat and drink, but it’s been more challenging. Over the weekend I decided I needed to see my doctor and find out what was going on. Either I am being paranoid or something isn’t right. So, I was on the phone to my doctor’s office first thing this morning and fortunately they could squeeze me in this morning. Upon arriving I was escorted to the x-ray room. Martha (the x-ray tech and support group leader, who is also banded) said, “What are you doing here girl?” “I’m either paranoid or something isn’t right”, she laughed and said let’s find out. We did a barium swallow and as my doctor said, “It looks perfect.” “So, I am paranoid?” “No, you are aware of your band and something changed.” “So what am I doing wrong? Why the acid reflex now?” “Could be you irritated your band in some way or it could be that you need a fresher on the basics. Size of your bit, how much you chew, time between bits. Maybe you need to get that egg timer back out that we gave you at your first post op visit.” “Funny, just last night at dinner my husband had to tell me to slow down on my bits.” We talked a little more and I was on my way feeling so much better. End result is something wasn’t right and that something was me. I was slipping back into old habits. It’s time to dust off that egg timer, cut my bits smaller and chew, chew, chew. Everything I tell newbies to do.

In 4 months I've learned a lot of things. About myself and my body. I'm now down -51.4 lbs, and past my first goal. I've had a lot of things go wrong over the past 4 months, and my sleeve has saved me from my emotional cycles of binge eating. I've worked hard, made mistakes, but I've recovered. I find confidence in places that I didn't even realize I had lost it. I've been cleaning out my closets and along with the large sizes I've also been shedding a lot of emotional baggage. I'm proud of myself. My impulsive, self destructive behavior was the most obvious with food- and since my sleeve I've become calmer, more clear headed, and grounded. I no longer lose control, and it's trickling into other parts of my life. I'm dating again and instead of accepting mediocre offers, I've set high standards, and remembered that I'm a valued person. Mr. Right will come when it's time. On God's time. I went out Friday night with a good friend, and we took pics together for the first time. Full body shots. And I was flipping out about how I looked in them. She was more shocked than I was at my reaction. When we went to our favorite place downtown, we danced and had fun- and I was scanning the room to see if I was the fattest chick in there. More than a couple of guys took notice of me. I wasn't interested in anything more than a good glance. It just felt good to go out, and not feel all I eyes were on me for the wrong reasons. I look back to so many evenings out with friends where I hid, and felt miserable, and disgusting in my clothes. When I first got this surgery, I was almost paniked at the financing-the amount of money I had to pay as a single mother was jaw dropping. I look back, only 4 months later, and ask myself "Why didn't I think I was worth this gift to myself?" I loved myself enough to get this surgery, and I'm truly a better person, mother, and friend for it. My outlook is bright. And I'm so thankful. Attached are two pictures from Friday night with my friends. I'm now a size 8/9, 164 lbs (and I'm the brunette in the pic!). I started at 216 and a size 16. Height: 5'9 Highest (Surgery) Weight: 216 1st Primary Goal Weight: 169 (Achieved 11/27) 2nd Optimal Goal Weight: 145 Sleeve Journey: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 8/17/12- PreOp/Surgery Day w/Pics Posted in Blog Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2) Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2) Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8) Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-22.5 lbs) Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9) Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5) Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1) Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-11.6 lbs) Week 9 (10/19): 181.4 (-.5) Week 10 (10/26): 177.9 (-3.5) Week 11 (11/02): 176.8 (-1.1) Week 12 (11/09): 174.7 (-2.1) Week 13 (11/16): 173.3 (-1.4) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 11/17/12- 3 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-8.6 lbs) Week 14 (11/23): 173.1 (-.2) Week 15 (11/30): 167.3 (-5.8) Week 16 (12/7): 168.1 (+.8) Week 17 (12/14): 164.6 (-3.5) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 12/17/12- 4 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-8.7 lbs)

It is 2 weeks post-op and all is well!! I feel good. My incisions are healing up nicely and the soreness is pretty much gone. (unless I bend over to far) I'm not drinking enough water yet. Getting about 32 ounces in most days. I know it should be more but I get so nauseated with it!! I find that in the morning I can get more down easier. I can drink without the squeezing feeling now. I can't wait till I can get more water down though 'cause it is causing some bathroom issues!! hard ones!! if you know what I mean. I'm still trying to keep a sensitive awareness for Minnie to tell me when she's full. I do good and sometimes when I let myself get to hungry, I don't listen as soon as I should. Bad habits take over and I have to re-organize my thoughts. I honestly wasn't prepared for the emotional struggle being so strong. I knew it would be here and head hunger is real! Food plays/ed such and important part of my life. I truly thought that learning new recipies and balancing a healthy diet that my family as well as myself can eat would be the bigger challenge. I felt that if I could just put enough energy into cooking recipes that were tasty and fitting for us all I would be fine. And for the most part I am. BUT there are times when the emotions get all fired up and what I used to sooth them in the past just doesn't work anymore. It's like someone changed the passcode and I can't get to my feel good area!! Frustrating and It's definitaly a work in progress. Thank God I have great support of family and friends. I will take this time to warn everyone about having a love affair with the bathroom scale!! I loved my scale from the moment I got home from the hospital!! I made sure we saw each other frequently and the feeling was mutal. Until day 5!! Not sure what happened on day 5 BUT our relationship took a dive!! It said I gained a pound and then on day 6 it said I gained another!!! FREAK! Not sure why, I was doing everything by the book!! I was already on the break of the emotional reality of having to change my coping mechanisms and then this!!!! WHY? WHY?? Alas, I went through this torture for 2 days only to realize at 11pm on day 7 that my scale was playing cruel jokes on me!! Yes, I could stand on different areas of the scale and the weight changed each time. it went down 3 pounds or up 3 pounds!! just depended on where I stood!! LOL I could have died! All that turmoil for nothing!! So I ended my love affair with my scale. We have broken up for good! I don't know what I've really lost since surgery and won't know until tomorrow when I go for my check up with my doctor!! hrmph! I start my mushie food tomorrow and am very excited!! I did have an egg scrambled today and I can't say enough how good that was!! I know, I know, it was a day early and now I'm little nervous that I did something bad. BUT Minnie did just fine and didnt' hurt or anything soo I'm praying that means all is well. Will blog tomorrow to let you know the results. Oh and ALL I could get in was 1 egg.... Merry Christmas Oh and I can't wait to drive again!! I need to do some secret christmas shopping!!

So I am only 4 days away from the biggest event in my whole 24 years of living and I am freaking out. I know this is normal I know this is normal, but I am so nervous at this point. I just don't want anything to go wrong. Finals are done, vacation is set to begin this Wednesday so I shouldn't have anything pressing. Liquid diet is getting on my nerves, but hey, it's just one of those things that you gotta do. So I'm a little irritated with that but I'm doing it. I'm down about 5 pounds from my starting weight so the scales didn't let me down at all. But I'm definitely getting rid of the scale as soon as surgery hits. I will not step on that thing until my post op appointments. I just don't want to overwhelm myself with trying to eat right and watch the scale drop pound by pound. I'll be ok I'm sure. Just panic. WOOOOOOSA! I'm ready.

Four... no matter what language you say it in... I just fit into a pair of size FOUR jeans... yes, me! I love thrift store, bargain hunting. Its a huge thrill to me to find something that i love for less then $10. From my amazing, full length wool coat for $8.88, to my wool peacoat for $6.88 to my Ralph Lauren cords for $3.33 or my Stuart Weitzman pumps for $4.50... I love a bargin, but I have to admit, pulling those 4's off the endless jean rack and looking at them and thinking "no way" - to them sliding in and fitting me perfectly... shocker! Do I think every pair of size 4 pants will fit me... not necessarily. But I had someone tell me that my other jeans were looking too baggy on me - they were 6's... Its time to do some more shopping... I just love my sleeve!! The other nice thing about thrift store shopping... when something doesn't fit you anymore, it doesn't hurt so much because you spent so little on it, you can just put it back into the circle of life at the thrift store and find a new treasure... and it helps a good cause!! My daughter is getting married this saturday, and my son leaves for London the day after Christmas to participate in the New Years parade there... so my next week will be crazy - so my guess is, this is my last post before Christmas so... Merry Merry Christmas to everyone. Hold your loved ones close, make sure they know you love them. Be a blessing to all you come in contact with, and the best gift you can give yourself, is to help others in need! Lori You can read the rest of my blog posts about my journey from band to sleeve here: search for Lori's Blog at occforum or follow me on facebook! https://www.facebook.com/LoriOCCMedical

My daughter-in-law sent me a copy of Santa talking to my grandson. The site is PNP home page. It is really cute. Santa talked to him and his picture was used a few times. Great for all the young at heart for Christmas.

Hello, On Wednesday 12/19, I will be 3 weeks out and it has been journey, a good one. Let me give you updates: Starting Weight: 240 Current Weight: 223.5 Weight loss total: 16.5 Height: 5'8" I have had a good recovery, no problems and returned to work at Day 6 after surgery. I have a sedentary job, but have been attending a lot of conferences and have been doing a lot of walking. I continue to struggle with how much I can eat and knowing when I am full. I am still trying to figure this part out, but I know that it will come. Exercise I exercise a minimum of 4 days a week for 30 or 40 minutes. Scars They are healing quite well and are small. I have one in my belly button and 4 others. The drainage spot is the largest scar and is not that big. I am waiting until next week to start mederma. I get majority of my vitamins in, but there are a lot. Pain None. Sex No real drive and a bit moody (husband not happy). Feelings Head hunger is real. I realize now more than ever how large a part food played in my life. I miss it and there are so many things I want/miss. However, I notice how good it feels to be able to fit in the clothes in my closet and I am overjoyed. I know that in time, I can eat some of those things in, just in smaller quantities. I appreciate not being that hungry and not feeling the need to give up and dig in. It's hard, but worth it. More to come next week.

A few weeks ago I had a coupon from BJ's for jeans so i bought a size 16. They went on but did not zip. Well today they are on the body! I can not believe it. I am happy today. In a short time the hub and I are joining the gym, About time!!!!!!!!!! Now to put on the Ugg boots to go out in the nasty weather we are having all week. Enjoy your day everyone. 'eye candy' aka Arlene

This week was rough....I have been down in the dumps most of the week. I think the main issue was food and I have been going off my diet. It might be because it's Christmas but then again it could be that there have been a few individuals in my life that haven't been as supportive as I hoped. It actually kind of hurts but I know I have to let it go. I have also been beating myself up because I think I have talked the ears off some of my closest friends. I have 4 months to go before I have the surgery so I am thinking I might back off a little bit. Maybe I should focus on getting into the water and working out then this surgery. I have a feeling it is driving me nuts and those around me. Actually I just want to get through the holidays without wanting to eat everything in front of me. Being around my family can do that to this girl. When I get back a few days before the New Year I won't be traveling to visit them until after the surgery. Maybe that will help me keep on track and do my best on the pre-surgery diet and getting my knees better. It seems like I go 1 step forward and 3 steps back every other week. I know that things will get better but waiting isn't fun!

Submitted to insurance today! Fingers crossed! (By the way, in regards to the last post, my primary doctor said he will still clear me for surgery