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I GOT APPROVED THIS MORNING!!!!!!! WOOOT WOOOOT!!!! TOMORROW AFTER MY CLASSES I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT WITH MY DOCTOR TO FIND OUT WHEN THE DATE IS!!! IM SOOOOOOOOOOOO FREAKING EXCITED! THANKS EVERYONE FOR YOUR SUPPORT!! KEEP ME UPDATED WITH YOUR JOURNEY & BE MY FRIEND!! <3

My day has arrived everyone!! I have to be at hospital at 8:30am. Keep me and all the other sleepers going in today in your prayers.

Well today is one week. I see my surgeon tomorrow, which is kind of exciting. I didn't see him after surgery. I got discharged by the nurse practitioner before he came in to see me the next day per my request. I got discharged about 24 hours after surgery. I am interested to see how things went being an operating room nurse I like to know the procedure part of things. I am having minimal pain. Nausea is finally subsiding. I am not hungry. Just a little weak at the end of the day. I am getting all my fluid in and all my protein. So far so good. Hopefully soon I will be posting about some weight loss

I'm in puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Hopefully, and if everything goes well, in less that 12 hours I will have the VSG. I'm very nervous. It is a huge change. I'm afraid of dying, not for me, but for those I love. I would never want to make my mom or sister suffer, but I have deprived them of a life with me because I'm always depress in my house, or of feeling ashamed of my weight. I know recovery will be painful, but I hope and pray to God this goes well and I can handle everything with strength and peace. I know once I'm awake from surgery, it won't mean everything is perfect. I already had a few surgeries in the past and complications happened about 2 weeks after. So whomever is reading this and believe in the power of prayer, please send some this way. I will forever thank you. I'm having this surgery because I'm tired of seeing the best years of my life go by, and I don't do nothing about it. I'm tired of all the struggles, I'm afraid of my diabetics getting worse, I'm tired of being tired, feeling hopeless in a room isolating myself. I've suffer several emotional disorders due to my obesity and my fear of being seen like this. But is time to change my life and embrace this new opportunity. I've decided to do this journal to keep track of all the changes. I want this to be about me. I'm doing this for me but also for my family because I want to give them the best of me, and I never want to forget that they were my most important motivation. This is one of the hardes decisions I have made in my life, there is nothing easy about this surgery. I will have to find the strength to say goodbye forever to many foods that were nothing but addictive and unhealthy. I have to to this the right time this time.

I have been doing my reading, research, and starting to stock "My Cupboard". I am mostly packed for the hospital. I have cleaned out my whole wardrobe of "ugly" clothes and put aside my "too small" clothes for later. I am still really EXCITED about the surgery. I am also emotional! Everything that is a distraction in my life is wearing on my nerves. I am finally taking the time to take care of myself and I resent all the petty stuff that is distracting me. I just want to be relaxed and focused. Even working out I feel frustrated. At first I loved working out but the more I am "pushed" out of my comfort zone...ie until I am going to vomit. The more I don't want to be around them. So, I am going to try a couple of sessions at the gym by myself. I am hoping that this moodiness is just PMS and nerves. Ughhh.

First off I had my seminar this week. It was nice meeting the surgery team. They are nice but also really funny. That’s a good sign because I love to laugh…who wouldn't I should be getting a phone call from my surgeon to set up an appointment this week. I’m excited and can’t wait for that phone call. Luckily I have another issue I’m taking care of (PCOS doctor appointments). Plus keeping busy with work has helped. Not sure how I’m going to handle 2-4 weeks away from work. One thing you should know is I love what I do and the people I work with. I know, it’s crazy but I do . One thing I didn't expect so soon was all the emotions I felt this week. I know that your emotions will be up and down but I didn't realize it would be this soon. During this week, around 2-3 days, I was feeling alone. I’m single at the moment and all my family lives 300 miles away. I go to doctor appointments alone, figure out meals alone, and feel pretty much alone. Some might say this is ideal for this process but I really have mixed feelings about that. It’s funny because I have felt alone before but not like this. Today has been a good day, actually yesterday was too. They say you need to take it one day at a time but I have come to the conclusion that I need to take it one hour at a time. Need to work myself up to that one day but until then I am good with taking it hour by hour. I’m so proud of myself thought because I have really started watching what I eat. Cutting out soda and sugar has been going good (even with Halloween I was good – no candy!). Trying to get in the protein and veggies but the carbs thing has been hard. I have to try because I want to get ready even though I am probably 6-9 months away from surgery…but this will be a large part of my success. One last thing (I promise), I bought the Weight Lose Surgery for Dummies book and I have got to say it was the best thing I could of done. There is so much info in there and I feel a little overwhelmed but a good overwhelmed. I have a feeling I will be caring this book around with me everywhere and know it will be my companion for a while. I do recommend this book to anyone who is starting or even close to surgery date. Well another week down and many more to go. Understanding this process is like a roller coaster ride….you will have ups and downs but in the end you will have a smile on your face and on your way to a healthier you.