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So very excited and wanted to share my good news. Pre-Op appointment went great, passed the written test that my Dr. gives, lost the weight she required me to lose. Sooooooo, on December 12, 2012 at 12 noon I will be sleeved.

Wow! Today has been a 180 from yesterday in terms of how I'm feeling about myself and the surgery. I am not down in the dumps. I kept super busy most of the day, but when I was able to wind down, I had some time to think about some of the things I was told in my pre-op class... My dietician told me that she likes to listen to audio books while she walks on her treadmill or exercises. There are a few reasons why this is an awesome idea... 1. Watching TV while exercising you have 1/3 commercials... most commercials are of fatty, delicious food. Seriously, NOT what I need when I'm trying to lose weight and break bad habits! 2. Music is a good option too, but after a week, you've heard them all and it doesn't really appeal anymore. 3. If you are like me and enjoy books but don't have time to sit down and read in the peace and quiet... kill 2 birds with 1 stone! Knock out my exercising and feed my brain all at the same time! I thought, well, I will give that a try. Looking into it, I found that it is really expensive to download books... goodness gracious! After some researching and confusion of what their "deal" was, I found that I like audible.com best. I got the app for my iPod touch and download a few books. I found some good inspirational books by Joel Osteen... How? I'm not sure... I have NO idea how his book got brought up. Thank goodness it did though! It was just what I needed and I didn't even know it. So, I downloaded my book, ran downstairs, and fired up the treadmill... for the second time since surgery. (I've been walking, but more aimlessly around inside buildings and even my house.) I haven't had the motivation to really get into exercising yet for some reason. I got excited about the audio book thing though and was eager to get going. I hopped on the treadmill and next time I looked down I had been on for 10 minutes... like nothing. I only ended up walking 15 though. I didn't want to overdo myself because I'm still pretty sore at times. This book (so far.. I had to stop myself after the intro, before he got into "Day 1") talked about how your words affect your future. If you wake up tired and say, "Oh, man. I'm just so tired. It's going to be a horrible day." It will be. I've been told that a million times... blah blah blah. I know. I needed a reminder though. If you're feeling tired, say outloud, "I feel great. I'm healthy. Today is going to be a great day!" It will be a good day! Also, it talked about how no one believes the things you say about yourself quite as much as you do. If you tell yourself enough that you are beautiful, happy, blessed, radiant, soon enough you will feel like you are... and you will be! I needed these words (although I paraphrased A LOT from what the book says) I hope that they help someone else through their time of difficulty too. Today truly has been a great day for me. I hope it has been for you too!! I HIGHLY recommend considering listening to an audiobook while exercising. There are soooo many out there that there will be something for everyone to download.

This week I hit goal, and then some. Yesterday, I had an amazing opportunity to host a Medal of Honor recipient at my University and I was extremely excited. But things didn't go exactly to plan for my unoffical coming out party. How did D-Day go for me? Well, there were a lot of casualties... First off, I'm so happy I did my weight loss surgery, for ME, and me alone. Because I really had to put things into perspective. I had ex that said he was coming to the event, and a new guy I've been talking to for the past couple of weeks also RSVP. I was so psyched and really went all out getting ready, turns out NEITHER ONE of them showed up, and I felt quite dissapointed. I wanted to yell "TA DA!" but that opportunity was taken by their empty chairs... I was a little bitter and jaded about it- but then something interesting started to happen... I did a perfect performance with the event. Dozens and dozens of colleagues I hadn't seen in months were flipping out about how great I looked, my director was very pleased with everything, a friend from Ft. Benning did show up and took me too lunch and we walked all over campus chatting for the afternoon. Then I got a last second note that my team water polo end of season dinner was that evening (I missed the first announcement) and I walked in, and everyone gasped... So while my love life might be in the dumps- I think it's safe to say a LOT of people in my life have noticed my weight loss, everyone has been dumb founded and when I saw this pic I posted- I barely recognized myself. I went from the verge of tears that afternoon, to complete peace coming home tin the evening after my team dinner. I know this is my journey, and I know that it's not one event that makes us who we are, it's the little everyday victories like being able to wake up and like what you see in the mirror that matters. And I really am starting to like what I see. And since I'm fairly religious, I will just throw it out there, that when I do meet Mr. Right, it will be on God's time, not mine. So I'm going to pick myself up, brush myself off, be thankful for my opportunities and another day to wake up and like the new me.Thank you all for being on this journey with me. ♥ Here is a pic from earlier today, me with medal of honor recipient Colonel Jacobs. Height: 5'9 Highest (Surgery) Weight: 216 1st Primary Goal Weight: 169 (Achieved 11/27) 2nd Optimal Goal Weight: 145 Sleeve Journey: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 8/17/12- PreOp/Surgery Day w/Pics Posted in Blog Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2) Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2) Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8) Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-22.5 lbs) Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9) Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5) Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1) Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-11.6 lbs) Week 9 (10/19): 181.4 (-.5) Week 10 (10/26): 177.9 (-3.5) Week 11 (11/02): 176.8 (-1.1) Week 12 (11/09): 174.7 (-2.1) Week 13 (11/16): 173.3 (-1.4) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 11/17/12- 3 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-8.6 lbs) Week 14 (11/23): 173.1 (-.2) Week 15 (11/30): 167.3 (-5.8)

This is my very first blog ever. My name is Aimee, I am 33 years old and from MN. I have 3 children and have been married just over one year. I started this process on July 27th, 2012 and I have (hopefully) 2 more weeks or so before I get my surgery date. I just had my first appt with my surgeon and he wanted me to be at my goal weight before surgery was scheduled plus he wanted some medical records from 2000, and wants me to practice taking my meds the way I need to take them after surgery for the next two weeks. So now it's on me how quickly this surgery gets scheduled. I've been approved. I got him the medical records he requested and i'm working on my meds and weight loss. I went in there in July weighing 315. I now weigh 311. Two weeks ago I was at 308 but once I was approved I began cheating like there was no tomorrow. I didnt know I needed to be at goal weight to have it scheduled!! I would've never done that. My goal weight is 298, so I have 13 lbs to lose in two weeks. I first started out eating a low carb diet, but now I switched to 2 protein shakes a day and then a high protein meal for dinner and only veggies for a light snack if necessary. I cheated since my last appointment, which was Tuesday until today--no cheating at all!! Not even one piece of halloween candt today or pizza while my family ate that for lunch. I'm proud of myself today. It's very hard for me not to cheat. I just talked to my husband about it today and I need to get some help, like counseling or something because I know the BIG picture here but yet I continue to sabotage myself and I want to be down to that goal weight no less than two weeks from the 30th- which will be Nov. 13th. I have issues with food that i'm sure a lot of people can relate to but I just don't knoiw anyone that does personally, like I do. This has been a long process and i'm hoping for a date in December, but i'm having issues with that also. My insurance only approved me to have the surgery until December 31st, 2012, and my boss does not want me to have it before Christmas, which I need to comply with. So I am looking at the week of Christmas, if my surgeon will even be doing surgery that week or else looking at getting an extension for my approval from my insurance company. My surgeon is in no hurry to get me in either. I have a history of Pulomnary Embolisms and he's very concerned about that, along with my ability to lose the weight that I need to, plus I take meds for anxiety and depression that I will need to continue after surgery and they need to be taken in a very new way and he wants me used to that now. This is all managable. I can do this, but i'm very nervous because I cheat at my diet and haven't been putting forth the effort that I should be for this. It makes me nervous because I do not want to cheat at this after surgery and I do not want to fail at this. This is HUGE- it is life changing and I just want to be able to succeed at weight loss. I kind of feel like the surgery hasn't happened yet and I don't need to be as diligent as I will be then-or something..I feel like once I have the surgery, there's no turning back and I won't have a choice in losing the weight because it's do or die time then, but what's my issue now then? Why can't I buckle down? I guess I did today, so theres the first step. I need to stop letting food control me. It is always on my mind, it's always there and always will be. I have a family of 5 and food isn't going to disappear. Today I did what I needed to do but I had my breakfast shake at like lunch time, then when it was dinner time I had dinner and then my "lunch" shake after dinner because I was still hungry. I had a snack of green beans in between lunch and dinner time and then a bowl of chicken and veggies when I got to work tonight at 11:30pm. I will be burning lots of calories tonight as I work at a group home and clean all night long. I'M HUNGRY still!!! It's not just in my head- im not only obsessing about food today, im physically hungry. I drank 3, 64 oz. cups of crystal light today- so i'm plenty hydrated. Maybe it's the artificial sweetner in the crystal light that's making my hungry- i've read that sweetners can do that. I am usually not an emotional person either- well I think my meds have something to do with that, but anyways, today i've been emotional. My husband and I are not doing well in our relationship. We've been together 6.5 years, just married over one year now. We started out hot and heavy- mind you, I was at about a size 10 then. As the years passed, I gained and gained and gained my weight. My weight has always been up and down- but after my third child, my husband and I went through a very rough patch when he was born and since then I continued to gain uncontrollably. I was even planning mny huge wedding and instead of losing weight, I almost didn't get into my dress the day of the wedding. I got even more depressed after the wedding- i was in a bad funk for a bout 5 months and reached 321 lbs. Thats the highest I ever saw the scale go. I eventually came out of my funk but our marriage had suffered and still is. We dont sleep in the same bed - EVER, let alone the same story of the house because I snore really bad and he's a light sleeper. This has never been an issue for either one of us until recently for me. See, he spends most of his time, when he's off of work, in his bedroom. He will take the baby with him usually but he hardly spends any time downstairs with me and my two kids ( from previous relationship) This is a HUGE problem for me. H e is aware of it and has been "trying" to spend more time downstaris with us but it's been minimal. We used to be best friends. We used to only want to hang out with each other because none of our friends were as fun as each other was. Now we hardly speak to one another and we both have resentments towards each other and my wieght plays a huge role in our relationship as well. I am now a size 24--I am hardly recognizable from who I used to be. We have NO sex life. He claimns it's because of my weight- that i'm too embarassed about it in bed and he has to do all of the work and it just doesnt work well. I think it's because he's not attracted to me anymore. We just dont have a relationship anymore and it's so sad. We've talked amny of nights about this surgery and how it's going to help our relationship in many ways but it scares me to think that right now is so so bad and because I lose wieght- everything will be ok...Thats hurtful and wrong. If he cant love me unconditionally, then how will this improve our relationship? I realistically know that the surgery will not fix our relationship. It has to be worked on and both of us have to put forth the effort. I do know that I have never been so attracted to anyone as I was to him and I never felt as beauitful as he used to make me feel when I was thin. I know our attraction to each other is strong and I am hoping that, that will come back and we can start reconnecting. This is a scary process. The what if's... I actually cried today- which I haven't done in a very long time. I am unhappy and feel so alone. I miss him and what we used to have. I will write him a letter and we can talk. The next step will be counseling. I feel like this marriage is still so new, but yet so old. I want it to work and I never want to get a divorce- (which I hear the divorce rate after surgery is huge) but I cant continue to live like this. I can't even wait two more weeks to get my surgery date for things to change. It has to be now. Well, it felt really good blogging..I love to write and I think this will be a new step in this journey for me. Hopefully somebody will take the time to read it and give me some feedback possibly. Sorry if my spelling or punctuation hasnt been spot on, i'm just trying to wrtie fast. I better start cleaning now. Tomorrow is a new day--I will work hard on my diet and be as positive as possible. BIG PICTURE

I've written this before in previous blog entries, but I have been very fortunate so far with how the whole Sleeving process has gone, Everything since the beginning back in May, from the initial visits, the nutritionist visits, the insurance approval process, the surgery itself, right through today has gone amazingly well for me. i've followed this support site long enough to know that it hasnt been as smooth a process for others. Today I feel as "normal" as I did before surgery, except without the anxiety. It was one of the first days that I actaully forgot I had a sleeve. There is no more pain, no heartburn, no tightness in the chest, no difficulty swallowing pills. The only thing I feel is the sleeve doing its job - making me feel full after 4-6 ounces of soup. Yes, I'm still on liquids and will be for another 5 days or so. My ususal diet for the past 8 days has been 60oz of water, sometimes more, 60oz of protein which equates to 2+ "Oh Yeah!" shakes throughout the day, and 8 -12 ounces of soup such as tomato basil (I put in blender again to make sure it's completely liquid) or chicken soup without chicken. I dont feel hungry at all, but would love to have some solid food now. Not sure why, but sometimes I find myself torturing myself unconsciously by watching the Food Network on TV - for hours! Can you believe it?! Last night I had a first: I wandered into the kitchen and out of sheer habit opened the refridgerator door. I quickly remembered my sleeve, but spotted an unopened bottle of my protein shake. Without thinking, I unwrapped the top and put the bottle to my mouth. I began chugging and drank until about half of the 14oz bottle was gone. I capped the bottle and returned to the living room. At that point, I had 2 things I thought occurred simultaneously; I felt a quick flash of nausea and a remembered I was sleeved and had a 4-6 oz stomach, I felt very full - not as if food were coming up my esophagus, but full like bloated full. The nausea continued for a minute or two, but then gradually disappeared. There was no real consequence of this, except I had to relax a few minutes until the nausea subsided. I'm sure that won't be the last time that happens. I have the feeling that food will eventually take on a different meaning. I don't think the urge to gorge myself *sometimes* will ever leave me, at least that's what some long-time sleevers have said. But I would like to think that eventually I will be able to enjoy, savor and truly appreciate a well prepared quality meal for its combination of flavors, textures, and aromas instead of viewing it as only a means to the satisfaction of being full or overfull. We'll see. Up to today, no regrets whatsoever about doing this. This was a well thought out, researched, planned life-changing decision and I was prepared to have to live with any negative consequences. Thank God, I havent experienced any yet. I'm down about 10lbs post op, but I wont be a slave to the scale - I know if I do the right things, follow Dr's instructiions and exercise I'll loose the weight. Headaches are gone and I feel great. More soon. ~Joe

I am curious, I seem to have an issue tolerating meat. Meats ranging from eggs, turkey, pork and chicken. Has anyone else experienced these issues. Its been 2 months since my surgery.

Today I went in for my presurg scope, so they can look down into my stomach and make sure all is okay. I'm day 3 into my liquid diet, and because of my scope, I was not able to eat after 10pm yesterday until about 2pm today (after the procedure.) My mom, who is pretty awesome most of the time, went with me today because I needed someone to drive me home after the procedure. (They put you all the way out.) Anyway, we had to sit back in the waiting area for about an hour before the doctor got there, and what did my mom spend that time talking about? Food! She read me a recipe she copied down from out in the waiting room. She listed what he will probably make for Christmas, and she pointed out that they were having my favorite one of her dishes (homemade beef stew) that night for dinner. I finally had to tell her that she was allowed to talk about food for the rest of the day! It was funny, but a little sad at the same time. It kind of encapsulated my experience with my family during times I've tried to lose weight: they say they support me, but then their actions say something else. My grandmother is the same way. She's famous for handing you a cookie, letting you start to enjoy it, and then looking at you and shaking her head, saying, "Boy, we really need to start watching our weight." You gotta love family! But it was a good day. I was nervous about the scope, and it went really well. I had my last official appointment with the surgeon's office until the surgery, and honestly, the liquid diet is not too bad. I've actually lost about 4 pounds in the last 3 days. So onward we go-- 12 days left!

I work out with a trainer every week I love love love her. She is so supportive of me and everything i do. She become like my mother she looks more like she could be my sister. She the most amazing person i ever met. She pushes me when i need to be pushed gives me a hug when i need a hug. She helps me with the up and down and always make sure i can do things and feel like i can. She told me quitting is not an option. she makes me smile and Laugh and always want to try harder. She even was the one who told me i had to be a zumba instructor to inspire others. She given me more than just training. she made me a deal when I could fit into Lulu mon clothing she wanted to bye me my first pair . Last week end we went out and did just that. The black outfit is one she picked out. She an amazing trainer person and now i am glad to call her an amazing friend. It so much fun to work out when you love who your working out with

My surgery is now set for 12/11, and I'm so very excited. On Tuesday of next week I will start the liquid diet, and then I'll be counting the days until surgery. Last night I decided to start organizing my closet. I'm a bargain shopper, so few of my clothes are terribly expensive, but I have a lot of clothes. As many of you can probably imagine, I also have many different sizes of clothes. Right now, I'm comfortable in a 20 and sometimes an 18. It's been many years since I've been less than a 16, though. Still, I'm not good at getting rid of my favorite clothes. I still have the size XL dress I wore to my college graduation in 1999. I found that last night as I sorted through my "I Have a Dream" section of my closet. My son graduates from high school this spring; wouldn't it be wonderful if I wore that dress to his graduation? To save space, I always put my out of season clothes in a couple of rubbermaid tubs in the corner of my closet. Last night, my ritual had a strange element to it. Will I need those clothes in 6 months? I hope not! But I still couldn't find the nerve to give them away. So I compromised: I put some of the clothes that are big (or roomy) on me now in a pile for Goodwill, and then neatly folded the rest and put them in the tub. But before I closed it up, I took a moment to write myself a note. Exactly what I wrote is kind of personal, but I was very aware of the fact that I will probably be very different-- at least in size, but I imagine in other ways as well-- when I open that tub this spring. I'm glad I'm doing all of this, and documenting it. I've actually started loading video blogs into Youtube, but they are pretty amateur, so don't expect to be dazzled. Still, if you're interested, go to youtube and check out: NewAndImprovedJennie.

Holy Toledo! Of course I couldn't be simple- I had to reach my goal weight in dramatic fashion! God's divine sense of humor has struck again... So I had a first/blind date with a gentlemen officer who ended up getting sick on Sunday and cancelled his date but asked to reschedule. Well, last night he texted me and told me his work (he's in a higher level officer training course at the moment at our local military installation) will be at my University on Thursday- for the lecture I'm co-hosting for a General who's speaking. This would be the same lecture I've been nervously working so hard for because my ex boyfriend was going to be attending and I wanted to take the opportunity to show off my new me. Apparently God's seeing fit to screw with my head and put them both in that lecture hall at the same time..... Spanx and hot bodycon business dress- don't fail me now! Thursday is D- Day for me as far as I'm concerend. Then I woke up... I woke up and got on the scale and I made my goal weight this morning... And the guest lecture I'm hosting that the ex and current male interests are both attending is in 2 days.... Well played God. Well played. I <3 my sleeve!!!!! Height: 5'9 Highest (Surgery) Weight: 216 1st Primary Goal Weight: 169 (achieved 11/27) 2nd Optimal Goal Weight: 145 Sleeve Journey: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 8/17/12- PreOp/Surgery Day w/Pics Posted in Blog Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2) Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2) Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8) Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-22.5 lbs) Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9) Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5) Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1) Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-11.6 lbs) Week 9 (10/19): 181.4 (-.5) Week 10 (10/26): 177.9 (-3.5) Week 11 (11/02): 176.8 (-1.1) Week 12 (11/09): 174.7 (-2.1) Week 13 (11/16): 173.3 (-1.4) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 11/17/12- 3 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-8.6 lbs) Week 14 (11/23): 173.1 (-.2) ***1st Goal Weight Achieved Week (11/27): 169.5 lbs***