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now it is more waiting time for this blood test to come back, but feel better that something is been done. I am really hoping i don't have lupus, the google facts were not encouraging, but am not worrying. I could be just one of those people who have slower clotting times than other people, and if so, it shouldn't have any bad side effects, i have lived 15 years after my gall bladder out, so just not worrying, it was too thin then and here i am now, still alive, lol. My goal now is to not go mad over christmas, and still try to eat healthy like i need to for my health and to loose excess weight and maintain weight loss, after the op, and am more positive that i will get my sleeve done in the new year, a new start. 4th of Jan this year i had a chateract removed and that was a good start to the year, my eyesight is so much better, so a new stomach for jan 2013 will be great, heres hoping,

This past week was wonderful. I was able to spend much needed time with my family (worked from home multiple days), enjoy a nice long weekend, and just de-stress. I did pretty good eating over the holiday. I was pretty proud of myself. I decided to view the food as "not going anywhere" rather than my "last hurrah". This made all the difference in the world. It helped me to realize just because I'm getting sleeved doesn't mean I will never eat some of the foods I enjoy again. I'm sure I won't be disappointed at my next weigh-in. I have about a week to get ready. We'll see what the scale holds.

I'm not looking for replies.... I just feel the need to vent... the need to just let these feelings out... bare with me... Took Dad to the Dr for a checkup. Cancer levels have gone up drastically, he's starting to feel a little dizzy & light-headed every day, and the pain is starting to increase. It's starting to rear it's "fugly" head a little more now. We now have Hospice coming once a week. Don't get me wrong, he still "looks" OK, and seems to be hanging in there, but if you know my dad, that's his nature. He won't really complain, and if he does, you know it's bad. I don't like this. My heart actually kinda hurts right now. Feeling sad, but oh so thankful for having him around...

This is a rant, so I apologize in advance for being all over the place... So the last few days I've had ZERO motivation to work out. I'm just coming off my cycle so I know that's part of it. However, I just feel so blah. Part of me knows it is the cold weather too, the sunny days, late nights of summer...I hate the heat but love the summer... Okay back on task...I'm just in a funk regarding exercise. I walk daily but that is not enough. I have literally every exercise DVD, tape, etc. known to man. So there is variety I'm just not feeling it. I even have an exercise bike, bands, weights, you name it but still no motivation. I had the great idea to buy something (my other form of therapy I'm working on) a new workout outfit and a new piece of equipment. I thought I'd buy either a home gym thingy (like the one Chuck Norris uses) or a treadmill (my 3rd one - I've given the others away). Then I thought I'd buy one of those exercise chairs like on the Steve Harvey show, (see it here) until I saw it was $700 for something I can basically make myself. Don't judge me, it takes me a while to figure out the real deal with me sometimes. That's when I knew I was avoiding the real problem...no motivation. I've never been the type that gets a rush after exercising. Even when I was thinner I didn't feel all giddy after working out. It was/is a means to an end. Now don't get me wrong...I love belly dance, pilates, and bollywood dance. So I know there are things I enjoy. I think I'm just a combo of bored and lazy. Plus, when I do those, I don't get as good a workout as when I used to hit the gym or lift weights. So it feels like they are not worth my time. I do tolerate callanetics and t-tap which are good exercises but man they get boring really quick. Which brings me to my next point...I don't want to go to the gym. My days are literally full enough without going to a gym for a hour a day (I live in the country rual suburbs). Plus, to pay for what I already have at home seems like a huge waste. After all this, I guess there is no real point to my post other than I'm bored and lazy. I guess I'll get back to my pilates and callanetics and maybe buy myself something to use when doing pilates. Don't judge me, I'm still a work in progress.

How long did it take everyone to get approved for surgery by their insurance? Just wondering... Its been about over a week and I'm so freaking anxious lol I have medicaid Husky A.

So i am 2 weeks post op and i was wondering if is it me or does anybody else have problems drinking the 64 oz of water a day? Every time i try to drink water i get nauseous !! Does anybody else has experienced this too?? HELP!

It seems hard to believe, but after all of this time, we are underway. I started my liquid diet yesterday and so far, it's not bad. Tomorrow, I have a pre-op class, and then they'll be doing my scope, so they can take a peak down my esophagus and into my stomach to make sure there aren't any surprises. Then next week I have my pre-op physical, and then just days after that, it's go time! While all of this is extremely exciting, it's happening at a crazy time of year. With my surgery on the 11th, I feel strongly that I should have my shopping done before I go in, so that Christmas is taken care of. I'm trying to get all of the wrapping and everything done. As a teacher, this is a crazy time, too. This point in the semester is very busy at the high school where I teach, and the night class I teach at the local community college is coming to an end as well. I also sponsor a student community service group, and they have all of their usual December activities. (This is their busiest time of the year.) Anyway, we're all busy, and I just feel like I'm on a roller coaster right now, barreling toward the surgery and everything else coming up. There's not much point to this post other than me expressing the need to pull my hair out right now. But I'm trying to stay focused on my health and getting myself prepared for what's coming. I need to start exercising again, but finding the time is getting trickier and trickier. But if I'm doing this, I know I need to exercise. Anyway, that's where I am today.

Is it me or have my senses changed? Before surgery, drinking protein shakes was a breeze for me. I always had the Carnation instant strawberry breakfast. When I got out of surgery, I had alot of nusea and probably vomitted 3 times while I was admitted. But during my hospital stay and when I went home, I noticed that my smell to things was super sensitive. My taste was even more sensitive. I tried a protein shake and nearly threw it up. I could not stand to smell it as I brought it up to my mouth and I surely couldnt tolerate drinking it. Even the none caloric powder you add to water changed in taste for me. I noticed that these two particular senses has changed drastically. I feel at times that it's all in my head. Has anyone experienced this? What I am trying to work on is my water in take. 64 ounces a day is really hard. I was never a water drinker, the liquid diet before surgery sure was a challenge but now just three months after surgery (august 6th was surgery), I am still experiencing difficulty with water intake. My follow-up with my dietician is always the hardest for me because I feel guilty that Im not succeeding in the water category. I even went as far as to trying to infuse my water with lime, cucumber and mint leaves but just as the none caloric powders, I just cant seem to drink water. Im lucky if I drink 20 ounces in a day. I try to have watermelon every morning. I have an egg with a cup of coffee each morning. My food intake ranges from a 1/2 cup to a cup of food before I am feeling completely full. I have experienced a sensation of "over full" and have felt the need to purge in order to get relief. This only happens sometimes, depending on what the food may be. I also have experienced one episode of "dumping". I was making pancakes for my daughters, I had a sliver of a pancake and I suppose the syrup and butter was way too much. I was throwing up and had diarrhea for a day and a half. It was the worse feeling and I dont wish it on my worse enemy! I was laid out and out of comission, it was a crazy feeling and experience! What I have also noticed is that I can't tolerate bread, rice, or pasta. All my favorite foods basically lol. What I do love is the Oikos yogurt in plain vanilla. Its a sin to eat this yogurt which is good for you and actually tastes good! This yogurt actually saves me from my super strong sweet tooth I get in the evening! I'll also have about 7 pretzel sticks with a laughing cow triangle to munch on. That's something Im proud to say that I do now, I read lables on food products and can say I somewhat understand them. My nutrionist keeps me at 64g of protein and 20g of sugar. So everything that I pick up I am looking at these two set goals for me. I was shocked to see how many things that I love so much were so bad for me! Before my surgery, I had to keep a food diary. Everything I put in my mouth I had to jott down as well as the way I was feeling at that very moment. I found out that I was a "carb-aholic" and an emotional eater. Dont get me wrong, I get stressed and look around for some "comfort food" and when I find it, I tell my self "you dont need it and it defeats the purpose of your surgery" and I walk away. Im not gonna lie and say everything is "perfect" after my surgery. I cry because I miss food, I cry because I get completely full after a couple of bites, I cry because certain foods just dont agree with me anymore and I cry because my weight is not pouring off me. Anyone experiencing these crazy emotions and are willing to admit it? On a brighter note, I do feel more confident, I like that my neck has some sort of definition of actually looking like a neck versus just a head on a pair of shoulders. My clothes are baggy on me and I do get compliments on how I look. It will only get better from here on! My inner-self has to catch up with my outter-self. My inner-self is still a chubby chick scared to meet the soon-to-be-skinny-chic. I'll try to let you know of my speed-bumps on this weight loss journey.

Hello everyone! I am 32 years old and 253 lbs and am 5'5". I finally reached the point where I just don't think I can lose 100+ lbs on my own. Even working out I feel like I have a fat suit on making me just want to give up. I barely ever saw more than a 5 lb change since I had my last baby 3 years ago. It is time for me to do something for me. I just didn't realize how hard it would be to get other peoples opinions not to matter. It seems like everyone has an opinion on what you should or shouldn't do. So, I have had my 1st appointment with my Dr. Dr Friedman was great. He had said any medical records from the last 6 months (blood/xrays/ekg's) could be used so we didn't have to redo them. I still had to have a new EKG and get about 15 vials of blood taken (felt like they owed me a cookie and oj!). I had already been cleared by PSYCH at Psychiatrics Associates. We set up my appointment with the Nutritionist for this Monday the 29th Oct. If I get an all clear from her they are going to submit me with whatever bloodwork is in within 2 weeks and I have a tenative surgery date of NOVEMBER 26th! I am more excited than nervous about the surgery being soon. It gives me 25 days before we leave to go visit family for xmas. I am hoping to be on pureed foods by then. I have done tons of research on food options, the procedure, and what to expect. I have never had surgery before, and I will be about an hour from home when I am in the hospital so I don't know who will be with me or how often. I am supposed to be out within 2-3 days. I have already started doing Zumba and Crossfit workouts now to get back in the mentality of working out. I am just hoping that my recovery with be relatively simple with no complications. One of my biggest struggles in the is whole thing has been OTHER PEOPLE. The "I think this is what you should do" crowd. I had a (gastric sleeve/lapband) and you should too. The "I heard about this person who..." telephone game. I even had to combat my hubby thinking "If you just do X amount more workouts". Luckily I came to the realization that they can get on board my "train of thought" or I am just going to run them over and move on. It was a hard tactic for me because I am pretty non-confrontational. I am convinced that I am making the right decision...FOR ME. As my Dad said to me " A new year, a new you." I think I am here under the "fat suit"...somewhere.

2 more dietitian appointments ( October & November ) My insurance has no other choice but to approve it because I have a case worker there & she says I NEED the surgery! I plan on getting the surgery sometime in December... because I'll be on winter break. ( I'm in college ) I'm SO excitedddd Talk to me ; tell me your stories ; I need support!! let's be friendssss!