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Holy Toledo! Of course I couldn't be simple- I had to reach my goal weight in dramatic fashion! God's divine sense of humor has struck again... So I had a first/blind date with a gentlemen officer who ended up getting sick on Sunday and cancelled his date but asked to reschedule. Well, last night he texted me and told me his work (he's in a higher level officer training course at the moment at our local military installation) will be at my University on Thursday- for the lecture I'm co-hosting for a General who's speaking. This would be the same lecture I've been nervously working so hard for because my ex boyfriend was going to be attending and I wanted to take the opportunity to show off my new me. Apparently God's seeing fit to screw with my head and put them both in that lecture hall at the same time..... Spanx and hot bodycon business dress- don't fail me now! Thursday is D- Day for me as far as I'm concerend. Then I woke up... I woke up and got on the scale and I made my goal weight this morning... And the guest lecture I'm hosting that the ex and current male interests are both attending is in 2 days.... Well played God. Well played. I <3 my sleeve!!!!! Height: 5'9 Highest (Surgery) Weight: 216 1st Primary Goal Weight: 169 (achieved 11/27) 2nd Optimal Goal Weight: 145 Sleeve Journey: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 8/17/12- PreOp/Surgery Day w/Pics Posted in Blog Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2) Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2) Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8) Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-22.5 lbs) Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9) Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5) Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1) Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-11.6 lbs) Week 9 (10/19): 181.4 (-.5) Week 10 (10/26): 177.9 (-3.5) Week 11 (11/02): 176.8 (-1.1) Week 12 (11/09): 174.7 (-2.1) Week 13 (11/16): 173.3 (-1.4) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 11/17/12- 3 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-8.6 lbs) Week 14 (11/23): 173.1 (-.2) ***1st Goal Weight Achieved Week (11/27): 169.5 lbs***

Well I'm now 3 weeks post-op, and I went in to my nutritional appointment at my sleeve doctor's office this morning. I now get to add eggs, cottage cheese, low fat cheeses, fish, canned chicken, tuna fish, beans(like black beans, kidney beans, soy beans) I can also have chili, and soups with beans now! It seems so great to be able to have more variety of things to eat! I was so sick of protein shakes, yogurt, and the few other things I could only have for the passed 5 weeks! At least at Christmas time I will get even more choices by then too. I have been feeling better day by day, and my 5 incisions are almost completely healed now as well. I have lost a total of 69 pounds now since last April 2012 when I started my weight loss journey, and I have lost 15 more pounds since my sleeve surgery 3 weeks ago. I'm running out of clothes that fit me, because most are way to big for me now! What a great feeling to have clothes that a TO BIG! LOL I actually had to give my little sister some of my old clothes, because she wears 26 W like I use to wear. I'm now in a size 20 W, and it won't be long I'll be in a size 18 W. I'm hoping I will wear an 18 by my husband's shop Christmas party December 15TH, and get me a new outfit to wear to the Christmas party. Last Christmas I went to the shop party wearing a size 26/28 W, 3 piece black pant suit. I was so self conscience the whole time at the party that I couldn't really enjoy myself. I looked around and thought, "I'm probably the fattest one here"! I couldn't wait to leave the party that night! This year I'm hoping my weight loss will help my self esteem, and I can enjoy myself with my husband this year. I have to get me an outfit that I feel good in, pretty, and allot thinner in. :wub: Better, healthier, thinner days are a head of me now, and I can't wait!

Hi, I had my sleeve surgery on August 6th, 2012. I actually tried to get the lap band back in 2006 but due to insurance regulations and morbidity-lacking qualifications, I was unsuccessful back in 2006. Jump forward a couple of years to 2012 and I finally had the right insurance and actually had some morbidities that helped me get the desired surgery. I kinda felt alone having to do this surgery because none of my family members have had some type of weight loss surgery, or had any friends that has gone thru this type of surgery. My husband was not very supportive in my decision and basically said "why ask my opinion when your mind is set already". Pretty much it was a true statement. All of my friends, coworkers, and mom stated that I didnt need the surgery, "your beautiful just the way you are". I appreciated all the kind words and concerns BUT none of them could even start to comprend what I see every day. Im not talking about being on a scale, Im talking about seeing myself in the mirror every day. Before finding this site, I started blogging my thoughts, my journey on www.blogger.com (Rhelm of Droopy). I hope you take the time to check it out, you will see my pre-surgery picture and my monthly pictures that I try to update on the 6th of every month give or take a few days. Lets make my first blog entry short, my consultation weight was 235. My two-week liquid diet before surgery weight was 210. My two-week follow up weight was 191. My two month post-surgery weight was 189 and just this past Tuesday, November 13th, I weighed in at 176. So give or take, Im losing 10 pounds a month, Im going to be honest, wish it was more but Im happy nontheless. Clothes are starting to be baggy, I've gone thru alot of clothes and have given some to the salvation army. My face is alot thinner and thou my double chin still is visibily seen, its not as much as before. In my blogs I mention how a chubby girl notices weird things. I noticed that my inner thighs got thinner. By this I mean, when I walked my thighs would rub sometimes even chaffe from the friction. I guess you have to be chubby to understand this feeling but now I have notices that they dont rub as much as before. There are so many things that a chubby girl notices that a slimmer individual would take for granted. Yes, I have lost some pounds, BUT I'm looking for particular things in my weight loss and they may seem weird but it's something I personally want to see. Im not saying that everyone is the same, Im saying these are things I want to see personally in my "transformation". They are, naturally the weight loss, duh who doesnt! I want to see my collar bone popping out, I want to see the bone on the top of my shoulder's popping out, I want to see my torso start slendering rather than see my love handles sticking out or as I call them "my arm rest" defining my pants. I hope this makes sense because honestly in my head it does lol. Getting rid of my clothes gave me anxiety. I kept telling myself "no save that or save this, what if you dont loose your weight, you wont have any clothes". I swear my mind is my own worse enemy. I did however get rid of alot of clothes and kept telling myself "you will loose weight". I was an 18/20 and currently Im a snug 14. My tops that I normally would buy in a XL or 1X are falling off my shoulders. My pants that are 16 or 14/16 are real bagging in the crotch area but I refuse to buy any clothes for the simple reason that Im going to try to reach my goal weight and to be buying clothes every time I go down a size is just really crazy. I dont know about you but I know I surely dont have money growing on my tree in the back yard. So yes, Im wearing baggy crotchy pants, and the shirts/blouses I have are in the 14/16 range in size. I actually went to the store yesterday and just window shopped. Funny how I would like a blouse and automatically would look for a 1X or an X-Large when clearly I could possibly may fit in a Large now. My mind is so used to being a certain way that even thou I see my full figure transformation I refuse to see my Skinny figure transformation. My mind is my worse enemy! Im not going to lie, I am my own worse critic, I still see the chubby me every day in that mirror. You would think that im on a scale daily to see my progress BUT im not. I have fear of gaining and a bigger fear of not losing. Make sense? Im not saying that this will happen to you, Im telling you that this is what Im dealing and going thru on a daily basis. Im glad I found this sight, I hope that I can read some of the blogs and in some way compare notes, take pointers on how someone is dealing with particular things, find some sort of comfort knowing that Im not the only one that may feel this way or that way and most importantly, find moral support that we may have in common.

I am 6 days post op and must say its been a rough week on all liquids. Took my grandson to Mcdonalds drive through and thought a shake sounded good.... Then I saw it ---- The Eggnog Shake!!!!!!! Started to order it, (it is a liquid) then I saw the calorie count posted 680 calories!!!!!!!!!! Needless to say I did not give in to the temptation and went home and had some runny applesauce and protien drink, woooooooo hoooooooooo. It was a victory for me. Just wanted to share:)

Well it's been 11 days since my surgery and i feel fantastic! (15 lbs down) however thanksgiving day was a real torture for me!! This is the first thanksgiving i spend with my mom (she lives out of the country) and she came to visit, therefore it was a big deal for me, we cooked EVERYTHING thats soooo delicious and at the same time sooooo bad for our health! As everybody ate i started making up "excuses" and trying to convince myself to try something mushy even though im still on phase 2 (protein shakes and full liquids) so stubborn that I am, i tried a tiny bit of mashed potatoes and a piece of dark meat turkey... everything was fine and dandy until the cold sweats and the nausea started!!! I felt HORRIBLE!!! and I was so mad at myself for not following instructions! If your doctor says DO NOT EAT SOLIDS guess what?! DONT! they know what they're doing and that's why they're professionals! So after i ate i was trying for about an hour to debate whether i should or shouldn't vomit, and after taking zofran to calm the nausea i promised to myself never to eat solids until my stomach is ready to handle it. I guess what i'm trying to say is cheating it's NOT worth it!! At the end of the day the food will always be there so compromising our health and well being for food it's not worth it. Needless to say, it ruined my thanksgiving and everybodys (Since they were worried about me)

At some point about 2 hours before the surgery time, I sort of "accepted" that it was really going to happen. Of course I've been planning this for 6 months, but the entire process had gone so smoothly, that when the time came, I couldnt really believe it. And with my last minute nerves, I had visions the day before of backing out (see previous blog entry). When I arrived at the hospital 2 hours before surgery time, they got me back to the pre-op room right away. The nurse went through a checlist to make sure all paper-work was done and signed off by me and Dr. Pirrello. and checked my vitals. then another checklist to confirm which medications I was taking. Finally, another checklist to make sure I didnt have a pacemaker, hidden jewelry in weird (non-visible) places, metal hip, etc. After a few minutes, she gave me instructions to use the bathroom if I needed, strip all the way down, and put on these loooong white hose/nylons which are used to help prevent blood clots. So after I had put the very tight hose on (they are thigh - highs so being a guy I felt a weird and getting the standard hospital gown on, the nurse came back in and had me lay flat on the exam table while she put leg-length foam-straps covering the hose. I later learned that these foamy staps had little inserts in them that variably espanded and contracted to help control blood flow and prevent clots durning and after the surgery. The best way to decribe the action of these things is that they're like a combination of a message recliner chair like you see in Brookstone stores and a blood pressure cuff for the way it expands. Then she shaved my entire stomach which tickled like hell. I laughed uncontrollably and so did she. I soon had a fast visit from the anesthesiologist, my surgeon's assistant, and finally my surgeon. Each helped to relax me, but didn't really give me any new information. They're a very good team and I had always been impressed and appreciative of the time my surgeon spent explaining things to me. My pre-op office visit with my surgeon, Dr. Pirrello, the week before surgery was 2 hours long! He's great. Verrrry slowy I began to feel relaxed. Although no one had said so, I was sure they had started me on type of relaxation medication. Felt like a Valium or drinking 2 beers. I'm glad they did. Then they allowed my wife to come back to the pre-op room for a few minutes. By that time I was even more relaxed. But we spent a few minutes together talking, laughing and praying. Someone peeked their head in the door indicating that the time had arrived. It was time to head to the big show. At this point, my memory starts to go in and out a little. I remember (mostly) being wheeled into the operating room on the gerny then being laid onto another table with bright lights above. But again, it seemed like I was going in and out of consciousness. it was dream-like. I could hear several people around me, and also remember the anesthesiologist whispering to me from behind. I think she might have said "you're going to sleep now.", and I was out. Then they gave me the sleeve I presume I came out back into consciousness slowly, much as i had gone out. So I remember talking with my wife breifly, then I was in my hospital room in a bed. After that, I became fully conscious, but didnt feel any pain. More soon...

Soooooooooooooooo close to my first goal weight!!! I'm only 3.4 lbs away! But I'm soooooo happy to still be going down in weight! Sometimes I fear getting out of bed to weigh myself, afraid I might be disappointed like I did in my previous fat kid life, but this sleeve has changed me so much. I see the scale going down, and I'm just so incredibly thankful. Even though I'm not dropping big numbers, every little bit counts, and I'd rather be going down than up!! Tomorrow marks my 3 month surgi-versary and I will be taking my monthly photo's in my bikini like I've done every previous month and I'm nervous. I hate that bikini right now- it's still not my friend. But I know that with progress there are pains, and I need to document this journey as thoroughly as possible so that when I reach where I'm going, I can look back and say never again. So everyone stay tuned! Tomorrow there will be 3 month surgi-versary pictures! Height: 5'9 Highest (Surgery) Weight: 216 1st Primary Goal Weight: 169 2nd Optimal Goal Weight: 145 Sleeve Journey: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 8/17/12- PreOp/Surgery Day w/Pics Posted in Blog Week 1 (8/24): 204.8 (-11.2) Week 2 (8/31): 200.6 (-4.2) Week 3 (9/7): 196.8 (-3.8) Week 4 (9/14): 193.5 (-3.3) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 9/17/12- 1 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-22.5 lbs) Week 5 (9/21): 191.6 (-1.9) Week 6 (9/28): 190.1 (-1.5) Week 7 (10/5): 187.0 (-3.1) Week 8 (10/12): 181.9 (-5.1) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> 10/17/12- 2 Month Anniversary w/Pics Posted in Blog (-11.6 lbs) Week 9 (10/19): 181.4 (-.5) Week 10 (10/26): 177.9 (-3.5) Week 11 (11/02): 176.8 (-1.1) Week 12 (11/09): 174.7 (-2.1) Week 13 (11/16): 173.3 (-1.4)

OK, so un-lucky me, I had to be one of the "UN-lucky" ones that had a very hard time with nausea either from the Anastasia, or the fact that my doctor had to also repair two hernia's while he did my sleeve! I had a higher up one and a belly button one too. I didn't feel to bad the day of my surgery, and thought, "Oh well, this isn't so bad"! Unfortunately the next day I was not doing so swell! I woke up feeling like I'd been hit by a Mack truck, and so nauseated I just wanted to "leave my body", and go somewhere, anywhere else, but in my body right now feeling like I did. They gave me drugs to help with nausea, but it didn't help really at all. I hadn't pre-pared myself for feeling this badly! My poor husband felt so bad for me, and I could tell he wanted to help me, but there was nothing he could do for me! I thought I'd only be in for a couple days, but ended up in there from Tuesday morning until Friday morning! I got to say, I was thinking, "What did I do to myself"? That is until I got home, and felt a little better on Friday, a little more better on Saturday, and little more better on Sunday, and then woke up Monday morning feeling like a NEW women!! The nausea was completely GONE!!! Things actually smelled good again, my drinks actually tasted good again too. My wonderful nurse's in the hospital kept telling me that I would turn the corner one of these days, and start feeling better, and they were right! I went in for my post op check up, and I lost 5 pounds since day of my surgery, but I'm still swelled up, and have fluids from my hospital stay. Would I still do it if I knew then what I know now? Yes, yes I would! It will get better! I promise!

OK, it has been 20 days since my surgery (REALLY???!!!!) My physical problems have been minor issues that develop when I DON'T follow the rules (i.e. although you may with effort make any food mushy, it's best not to push the envelope too far). My primary problems are all in my head. I'm not hungry even though I average maybe 650 calories a day. I don't have a taste for anything now that the liquid stage is over and I'm on soft foods. I'm grateful for not being physically hungry and not having cravings; however, I have a huge problem with trying to find something else besides food to comfort me. The last week has been hectic. I am on the east coast (DC suburbs) and the violent storm that came through our area made for a couple of challenging days. I'm not complaining about the storm because I was extremely fortunate to get my power (air conditioning) back on so soon. But I also had to offer aid to family who weren't so lucky. Then when the fallout from the storm seemed to be taken care of my nephew who lives with me was in a car accident and taken to the county hospital emergency room. Then one day later my brother had to have emergency surgery. I'm not going to go on about any of these incidents simply because we all have problems and we all have to learn how to cope successfully with our problems. Unfortunately, my coping mechanism has always been food so not being able to stuff my face has made me more anxious. I did worry about not being able to use food as a coping mechanism before the surgery and I can honestly say I was right to worry; however, I was worring about the wrong thing. I worried that I would make myself sick (literally hurt myself) by stuffing my face in a crisis. I'm not saying that I have been following my nutrition guidelines faithfully or that I am not tempted to start chomping on doritos, chocolate, or whatever. When I think of stuffing my face, I automatically think that stuffing myself is going to make me hurt. I hate pain. Fortunately, at this point, I may be safe from damaging myself after being sleeved. Unfortunately, my problem is more subtle and a lot harder to explain. I think not being able to stuff my face is contributing to my depression. I just feel so sad when I think about my family's problems, the world's problems, my cat's problems... I 'm not saying that being sleeved is making me sadder. I'm admitting that even after over a year of therapy about why I eat I haven't developed an adequate substitute for eating to bury my emotions. While I have been writing this blog entry a thought crept into my mind. I should change the title. I don't miss food. The great thing about being sleeved and being blessed with an easy recovery is that I haven't been deprived of anything after the surgery. My surgeon's nutrition guidelines are very generous compared to other practices. What I miss is using food as an antidote to sadness.

The surgery itself went well; unfortunately, I was held hostage until I could pee on my own My surgery was at 10:30 AM Monday. Really the pain was light and I was only dimly aware of the pain from the incisions in the recovery room. What bothered me in recovery was a very sore throat and dry mouth; the nurses on Dr on staff made sure that I was given something to help me with it right away. I didn't get transfered to the floor until late (around 9:30 PM ). Walking was easy, I took a walk around the recovery room and then later before I went to sleep I took a spin around the bariatric ward. It was easier each time I walked, but I did take the wrong corner on my Tuesday morning walk and met a number of office workers. Poor people I was not a pretty sight! I experienced a problem with the iv drip on the bariatric ward. Unlike the recovery room, the bariatric ward combines the pain killer and the fluids with one drip. I did have a hard time with the dual iv-it made my fingers swell and the pain killers didn't numb that pain. My night nurse was sympathetic and helped me by switching the iv to another hand. My day nurse was another story (I swear why do people who lack empathy go into medicine?) I was part of the Nurse Cynthia show! I'll stop right there because I'm praying for an answer about how to handle her. But in a nutshell, I had had my swallow test and had passed i; I don't know why she waited to get permission to get the iv taken out; I was in pain for hours longer than I needed to be and it wasn't because she couldn't find a doctor. Being on fluids and the iv just made matters worse. By the time she finally asked the Dr on duty my hands had swollen to the point where I couldn't hold my cell.The more liquid that went in me the bigger my hands got. Once the iv was out and I was only on the fluids the swelling in my hands gradually went down. Everytime, I eliminated the swelling got better although it did take over 24 hours. My hands were not normal until around 7PM. That's the one thing I hadn't read about on the site; all of my experience (except wicked Cynthia) were described by someone else. So maybe my sharing will help a future sleever. I'm on percocet at home; it works fine, but I'm determined to only take it at night. I have a huge fear of being adicted so I can't wait until I pour the pills in the toilet. I praise God for a successful procedure and I look forward to getting stronger each day. Cheers!